On my walk yesterday and today, I had the joy of reading these chalk notes on the sidewalk between College Heights Elementary School and College Heights Secondary School. It mapped out the distance from the sun to Pluto. I loved looking at the chalk messages and notations as to where each planet was located. All I could think of was, “What was the math inquiry?” Was the goal to figure out the scale? Or was the task to map out the solar system given a scale. I come from a math lens, but maybe the goal was to understand the enormity of the solar system using place. Anyway, YOU ARE DEEP IN SPACE NOW. Tell me about it. These #pandemicreflections are lending themselves to daily reflections. You see… I was totally avoiding this and I was trying to commit to a weekly blog. I will still stick to that promise and be OK with the idea that I might blog more than once during the week. It’s all good.
What’s my big revelation for today? First of all, I am filled with gratitude. I am incredibly lucky to be friends with the people I am friends with. I have an amazing supportive network of people and I am grateful to have them in my life. I love my PLN. I feel connected to others via social media and technology. And, I love my kid to bits. She is incredible and I am proud to be her mom. I am safe and sound living independently in Prince George, BC and I had an amazing two-years working with Teacher Candidates at the university. Humbling and inspiring. I am so lucky to have such awesome people to teach and learn with. I could not be where I am without them. And I know, I have a long way to go but I am so happy that they were an integral part of my pedagogical journey.
After letting go from yesterday’s blog and saying goodbye a few blogs ago, I realized that I would not be where I am had I not been where I was. This seems obvious, but I pined for what was for a very long time. It was a love hate relationship. Because I was so insistent on holding on, I could not move forward as far or as fast as I wanted to. I see that now. What’s fascinating to think of is, I would not have met all of the wonderful people I’ve met, learned what I know, and experienced what I have experienced had I not walked away from what was and turned the page. What a strange thought. I left for a reason and I’ve been gifted with many opportunities since. Now that I look back and can see the potential of what could be and why, everything that I have done and experienced have been stepping stones to where I am and where I am going. Every moment and person I’ve met had a purpose. The goal is to EMBRACE THE NOW. Be present. I co-moderated #bcedchat last week titled, “Focus on the Present.” I love the dual meaning.
So I will end this blog with the first quote we used in the #bcedchat by Eckhart Tolle.
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a GIFT. That’s why it’s called the present.”
#pandemicreflection #bekind #staysafe #stayhome
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 06th, 2020 | Comments Off on Stepping Stones
Yup. Another photo of me and another blog entry. Why not? Welcome to Week 8 of the pandemic. Here I am walking around my neighbourhood in Prince George, BC fulfilling my #daily5kchallenge. It’s DAY 9. Walking is a wonderful way to develop one’s sense of place. With each walk, I am honing my best 5k route. Sometimes I take a short detour here and there to explore the area but I think I have established a predictable 5k route that is joyful and rewarding. I always bring my wallet just in case I want to go to Save-On-Foods or Shoppers Drug Mart. Most times I don’t go, but it’s nice to have the option. Today, I chatted with my friend Carrie. Who needs tunes today when you can talk to your friend on the phone during my walk for an hour? It was amazing. I loved laughing with and listening to her today and the weather was great. 14 degrees celsius. It was just as warm as Vancouver, but it was sunny. Anyway, back to the blog. I feel incredibly fortunate to have this pandemic physical distancing time, to stay at home, and have the time to reflect on what is and what will be. I had my end of Week 7 existential moment on the weekend and returned back to writing about my mom. I am so happy that I am writing again because I am reminded of her but also of the lessons that I have learned from her and continue to learn. I just shared with a couple of my friends today of The Double Duck Dinner. That will be the title of one of the chapters of the book. I am also realizing that this project will take an immense amount of time to complete and humbled to write a little bit everyday. It might be the #onehourwritingchallenge. Hmmm… that makes sense to me. DONE. What truly blows my mind is my crazy “writing rules” where I decided that would have different titles to my blog entries. So when I chose this one, the URL popped up and said “listen and let go 2.” Gah. A repeat. I would have normally changed the title to something else, but today I took a look at Listen and Let Go, post #1. I wrote that blog 7-years ago on May 5, 2013. Mind blowing. Exactly 7-years. I guess it’s a lesson to be learned AGAIN. The original post was about my thoughts about math education in light of developing BC’s New Curriculum. Now, it’s about my thoughts about where I am, where I was, and where I will be. After talking to Carrie, a few friends, and my kid, it’s become very clear to me that I am suppose to be where I am RIGHT NOW. Listen and let go.
#pandemicreflection #stayhome #staysafe #bekind
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 05th, 2020 | Comments Off on Listen and Let Go
I love how my kid took a selfie with my mom after we had lunch at KFC in Metrotown. This depicts a few of the things my mom loved. She loved KFC. She loved walking around Metrotown. And, she loved her grandchildren. I cannot believe that in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic at the start of Week 8, I have committed to writing about my mom. I’m only blogging about this right now because I need a break from sobbing as I write about my mom and her last 20-days. It’s not easy. The little things are making me cry, uncontrollably. It was like that 2-years ago when my mom passed away and I wanted to write about my experience with her and what I learned about her from those 20-days and beyond. I am crying right now just thinking about it. I stopped writing 2-years ago because I was sobbing so much that I thought I needed to give myself some time and distance myself from her passing. Nope. I was wrong. Still hurts like hell. I might as well continue walking through the pain and remember all of the good things about her and my time with her. I am reminded that I should live in the present and embrace the now. My mom knew me the best. She has always been my advocate. And truth, I did not realize it until after she passed away. She held all of us together… me, my brother and sister, and my dad. I feel so vulnerable right now during the pandemic. The stress and anxiety are taxing to say the least and I need to do this work so that I can move forward with clarity, purpose, and intention. My mom is part of that equation. She continues to teach me as I continue to unpack these lessons I needed to learn. I am still learning. My mom would have never let me post a picture of her on social media, never mind on my blog and I am writing about her. She kept her life relatively low key (at least to me) and I feel that her life needs to be celebrated and honoured. She would have hated it… and yet I believe a small part of her would have appreciated it. I miss her so much. The selfish part of me wishes that she was here to console me and lift my spirits, as she normally would during the tough times. I am also glad she is not here because the stress of catching the virus and the news would have overwhelmed her. She would have been worried for all of us. It would have been too much. I am committed to writing something everyday about my mom. I know that this will not be easy. It will be emotional, but I feel that I am ready.
#missingher #pandemicwriting #staysafe #stayhome
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 04th, 2020 | Comments Off on Writing About Her
At the start of Week 8, I am feeling anxious and fearful. This is not a great place to be when I need to face my fears in my work and in self. The pandemic life is not helping. I know in big picture I am well and safe, but what I am wondering about is, will I make it back to Sechelt for Mother’s Day on May 10th or make it back to be with my kid on her birthday on May 29th? Sigh. Will I have the personal strength to address my demons with academic writing? Will I even be a viable candidate for tenure-track? UGH. My heart aches as I am in this state of mind. Was this all worth it? So much sacrificed and for what? I am having an existential moment. What’s really important to me? Why does it matter? And, so what? I will admit, being in social isolation and physically distancing myself from others, I am learning more about myself. I am not sure that I am entirely enjoying what I am learning about myself, but this is an opportunity to unpack what brings us joy and what provokes fear in us. I’ve been wrestling with the path I have taken so far. In some ways, I had no idea that I would be where I am, yet when I look back, it seems like a straight line. It’s confusing sometimes and I wonder if I am meant to be where I am or be somewhere else. I guess there are short term goals and long term goals, so I would assume that I am meant to be here and somewhere else. I am back to TRUST again. Tough one for me. It’s taken a lifetime to identify it, understand it, and develop it… and sadly, I am still learning. I also have to learn how to trust myself. It’s insane. Trust in others. Trust in destiny. Trust in self. The real question is, why do I distrust? What am I worried about? Why does it matter? As you can see, I am deep in an existential frame of mind. Not sure why it matters, but this is where I start Week 8 of the pandemic. Overall, I am safe. I am healthy. I have nothing to complain about. I am good.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 04th, 2020 | Comments Off on How are you doing?
I have reached my #covid19 limit. 7-weeks. I’m beginning to crack. My chest is tight and I’m ready for some human contact. I’ve been living at home alone in my apartment in Prince George while my kid lives in Sechelt, my other home. I am happy that she is safe where she is and I am safe as well. There is no question that #physicaldistancing and #stayingathome have been incredibly taxing but I am very grateful to have a place to live, food to eat, and continued employment (for now). I am also grateful to have friends who check in with me on a regular basis and I am connected to my kid online via various media tools. For the few 6 weeks, I was occupied with completing work for the term. I appreciated the distraction. Now I’m on my non-teaching term. It’s great to change gears and take a moment to write, think, and reflect… but this is also a time when my anxiety and stress are unusually high. I have not had a “normal” sleep pattern since the pandemic was announced, but I’m not surprised. What I realized in Week 7 is that I had to #getoutside. Mental health and physical health became priority for me. I had to not do what I’ve done before (i.e. dieting), so I decided to do a #daily5kchallenge. I’ve mapped out a route and I’ve been walking 5k per day. If anything, it adds to my schedule as something to accomplish. I’m feeling good. I almost did not make it out today, but once I got started, I was ok. I look forward to next week and listening to the possible plans and projections from the provincial government and provincial health officer. I don’t expect life to be “normal” anytime soon, but I hope that it’s a bit more viable for me to drive to the Sunshine Coast to see my kid. I miss her. It’s been an exceptional year. I have not flown to the Lower Mainland as often this year and missed a couple of visits due to the strike at the university and the pandemic. I love the photo above… the sun shining through trees. I just captured this image from yesterday’s walk. It reminds me of hope. I am hopeful.
#physicaldistancing #COVID19 #mentalhealth
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 01st, 2020 | Comments Off on End of Week 7
Here we go… everyday during Week 7 of #socialdistancing due to the #COVID19 pandemic… I am rolling out a series of blogs as I work towards my “non-teaching” term in my one-year contract. I am so thankful for my friends who help guide my thinking and provide unconditional support. I am incredibly lucky to have an amazing network of critical friends. I would not be here without you. I’ve been blogging lately to unpack some ideas to understand my trajectory and next steps. The pandemic and being HOME ALONE have graciously provided the opportunity to reflect. What I’ve realized is, it’s almost next to impossible to delve into research when teaching 80% of the time and 20% of my time is dedicated to service. What I am grateful for is, research opportunities do present themselves to me, so this is the time to delve in. I’ve got 4-months. Before I do, I need to FACE MY FEARS. I love this photo of the wontons I made the other day to depict my thinking process for this blog. I have a goal (i.e. make wontons). I tried out different folding techniques (i.e. tinkering and playing). I assessed what worked and didn’t work (i.e. choose a strategy or direction). Then, I just get the job done (i.e. completion).
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Fear. I hope this feeling goes away over time. I felt this way when I was writing my dissertation. Some would call it, “imposter syndrome” but writing for public consumption (unlike blogging, I guess) is an act of vulnerability. Brene Brown says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” Agreed. To research, you have to put yourself out there and BE SEEN. It’s super scary and I’m not sure why it matters so much to me, but this is the lesson. “What’s the greatest risk? Letting go of what people think – or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?” Thank you Brene Brown. I’m need to be intentional about this and be true to self. I’m even nervous about writing this because I am facing my fear as I write this blog. I am an extroverted thinker and blogging helps me to make sense of what I am thinking and feeling. I need to be true to myself, let go of what people think, and delve into what I love and am interested in.
the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
I can only get better by putting myself out there, trying, reflecting, accepting and discerning feedback, make revisions, and try again. Embrace Kolb’s EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING CYCLE. It’s cyclic. The more I write, the more I love it. I am developing my practice and acquiring the goods internal to the practice. Writing, like “vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness” – Brene Brown. It’s never comfortable, so get used to it. I am safe. I am worthy. I am strong. Ultimately, everything that I do is working towards a common goal. I can’t look back. As my friend said to me, you don’t want to be EATING CROW. I had no idea what that was so I had to Google it. Honestly, it doesn’t sound very good. I need to keep venturing forward and lean on my critical friends lift me up.
the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.
an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.
I am at a strange time in my life, personally and professionally. Nothing is certain and I am committed in different ways, to different people, for different reasons. For the last couple of months, I’ve been wrestling with the idea of COMMITMENT. What does that mean and what does it look like? Based on these two definitions, I can see why I am struggling. When I look at things at face value, it’s difficult for me to BE DEDICATED and I resist the idea of RESTRICTED FREEDOM. I love my autonomy and I am currently on a term contract. It’s tough to jump into anything that is research related. Last year at this time, I was deep in uncertainty (i.e. teaching online, contract renewal, and living in two-places). It was not a great place to be. Now, I am somewhere else. It’s time to commit. My situation has not really changed, but what I am committed to is my research and teaching trajectory. That’s it. I trust the journey and where I am suppose to go, I will be.
I have a goal. I will tinker and play. I will discern and decide. I will get the job done.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 29th, 2020 | Comments Off on Commitment
Wow. Here comes another blog entry. The mind is going and well… when you’re inspired, you’ve got to write. I have definitely exceeded the once a week blog entry, but it is Week 7 of the pandemic and living a life of social distancing, so it only make sense to blog to sense-make, wonder, and think things through. I was mentioning in my last blog how some people will ask you THAT critical question that forces you to look at oneself and reflect on the what and why. There are other things in life that just stick with you and you continually learn more about it as you go through life. During my masters program, my first course in educational philosophy talked about Alasdair MacIntyre’s (1981) “goods internal to the practice” from his book After Virtue. My mind wrestled with this concept for years and continue to do so. I am reminded from time to time of this learning.
The only way that I was able to understand these concepts was making a connection to curling. It all made sense, at least from my perspective. I excelled at the sport when I was focused on the goods internal. I just loved the sport. I loved strategizing, socializing, and executing. I could spend hours playing and practicing. I just wanted to learn more about the sport and get better at it because it was fun. Over time in high school, my team and I started to get good at the game. My dad started to incentivize me to win. He started to do this right before the semi-finals and finals of the provincials. I HATED IT. I was stressed and motivated for the WRONG REASONS. Long story short, we lost the finals of one provincials, but won the other. I never received the walkman he promised and it didn’t take very long for me to lose my love for the sport. It wasn’t fun anymore.
I tried so many times to revitalize my love for the sport. I’ve been playing on and off since high school and that’s been over 30 years ago. I just bought new curling equipment this year and curling tickets to the World Women’s Championships in Prince George, but with the COVID-19 pandemic, none of that happened. I might try introducing myself to the sport again next year. We’ll see. It might be the year after when a vaccine to COVID-19 is created. I can only hope. Anyway, why am I bringing up “the goods internal” and “motivation” up AGAIN. I can’t help but think about MacIntyre’s work after talking to two of my colleagues on BlueJeans this afternoon. We were checking in with each other and seeing how we were doing. Both of my friends had wonderful news about their work. I was so happy for them. I wanted to share similar news but “I’m on hold right now until further notice.” What I did realize was their resilience and love for their work. They are disruptors but it’s incredible. They are driven by the goods internal to the practice.
In our work in higher education, your prime motivators are extrinsic. Promotion, tenure, scholarships, awards, grants, etc. Yet, much of that success comes from the intrinsic. People in research do what they LOVE. They research because they are intrinsically motivated. I was reminded of that today when I was listening to my friends. They were recognized for their good work. I know it’s been frustrating for both of them and they were not pleasing everyone one the way as they were both breaking ground, but they relented and succeeded. People can see their work, passion, and contributions. In the end, they were “rewarded” with incredible opportunities. I’m not jealous or envious. I am joyful and happy for them. They deserve it and I am so glad they reminded me of this lesson. Be driven by the goods internal to the practice. Learn more about it. Excel at it. Know the standards. Head down. Dig deep. Delve into what I love and trust that my work will contribute to my discipline, practice, and community. For this, I am very grateful.
#pandemicreflections #community #thegoodsinternal
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 28th, 2020 | Comments Off on Driven by the Goods Internal
I was talking to one of my friends the other day on FaceTime and she said during our call, “You don’t want to come back to K-12, do you?” I love and hate those moments that provoke you in a visceral way that you cannot help but to reflect, self-assess, and ask yourself the same question. I have only been provoked like this a few times in my adult life and each time I had to critically look at myself to understand what and why. This is not a great place to be because when you start looking within, change will happen and so will your trajectory. I guess on one level, it’s about letting go, but on another level it’s about being curious about my perceived need to go back. Mulling this idea for the last two-days (and beyond), I realized that I have learned so much about BC Education in terms of teaching, learning, and leading… and having extraordinary opportunities to contribute to BC Education with curriculum, policy, and research… makes me want to go back to K-12 and TRY AGAIN. I was an OK teacher. Nothing exceptional, but I loved what I taught and I loved my students. When I left, I did not realize how much I could learn, did learn, and continue to learn about. I just love it. There are so many possibilities and to be part of the Math K-9 Curriculum Development Team and now being in Teacher Education, I get soooooo EXCITED about what teaching and learning can look like in BC Education. Are we experiencing growing pains in the system implementing the curriculum? Yes we are. But, is this an exciting time for education? Yes it is. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. I would love to go back into a secondary math classroom and teach math all over again. Now we have curriculum as policy that supports formative assessment, interdisciplinary learning, and embedding implicitly and explicitly Indigenous Education throughout curriculum. It’s INCREDIBLE. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of this? This is what I pine for. CHANGE.
Everything that is happening now in BC Education is something that I had always wanted. Is it perfect? No. Is is damn good? Yes it is. I would have loved the opportunity to teach in this new curriculum as a secondary mathematics teacher and have the opportunity to co-teach, co-plan, and collaborate with colleagues in a cross-curricular way that would highlight out strengths but also create an extraordinary learning experience for students that would be meaningful, purposeful, and engaging. How can we assess students that focus on student learning and determines if students met the co-constructed criteria in a competent way. Learning should be FUN. Teaching should be FUN. The BC Curriculum is an INVITATION to learning experiences that all stakeholders can contribute to and gain from. Leadership can be expressed by different stakeholders. Leadership is distributed. OMG. Communities. Relationships. Connections. AHHHHHH… Can you see why I am having troubles letting go of K-12? I’m beginning to. If I returned back to K-12, it would be like starting all over again… but I would invite that. I am not the same teacher as I was when I left teaching or when I started teaching. Am I still learning? Yes I am. I spent the last 10-years reigniting my love for education and I am a different educator.
So yes… this may be the LONGEST GOODBYE. I said goodbye to school trusteeship in 2018… no problem. I said goodbye to self-employment as an educational consultant this year and did not renew my business licence… I’m good. Saying goodbye to K-12 has been super difficult. I guess I can say GOODBYE to what was. I never want to go back to that again. I loved my students. I loved teaching mathematics. I loved my colleagues. Anyway, this is to say that I did love many parts of my teaching career when I was in K-12, but for many other reasons… I had to leave. Do I get to share my excitement for BC Education in Teacher Education and Graduate Studies? Yes I do. Always. Did I learn more about myself during my time away from K-12? Yes I have… more than I can mention here, but have mentioned in previous blogs. But I’ve learned that I REALLY ENJOY data analysis, academic writing, and policy development. Who would have thought? And, I’ve met so many wonderful people in my PEDAGOGICAL JOURNEY. I remember writing a speech for a graduation ceremony in 2018 about Saying Goodbye and quoted Paulo Coehlo:
If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.
My other friend says, for her… every time she closes a door, another door opens. I can see that. The way that I am perceiving and understanding my situation is that I am holding onto something and it’s holding me back from something else. I can let go of what was. I never want to go back to that. I have moved on, but what I have learned during my 16-years in K-12 as made me into the person, educator, and researcher that I am today. It’s time to shift and my EXCITEMENT for K-12 does not have to end. I can express and experience that excitement in my teaching in higher education, in my writing, and in my relationships with those in the field. <<deep breath>> I am so glad I did this.
#pandemicreflection #stayhome #socialdistancing
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 27th, 2020 | Comments Off on Unpacking Goodbye
OK. It’s not exactly 10,000 steps… but it’s tough to get 10,000 steps in an 800 sqft apartment and this is a hell of a lot more than what I was doing the day before (e.g. 1.5 km) and the day before that (e.g. 0.6 km). I’m pretty satisfied with 7,355 steps and 5 km. I went outside with intention. I had a goal. I mapped out a route and I was pretty darn close to 5 km. I’ve just turned a corner after 6-weeks of social distancing, watching the news, and being over cautious of what I touched and when I left my apartment. Admittedly, I was reluctant to leave. I kind of had that spring break effect at first, then you go through the 5-stages of grief: denial/isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I am at a state of acceptance, I suppose. Last week, I was definitely feeling down and I do have moments of wanting to tear up sometimes, but now I feel like I’ve got to get my life back to some level of normalcy.
I’m kind of done with the 4am bedtime and eating as if I was getting ready for hibernation or marathon race. I get this is stress at it’s finest. Weirdly, the news reassured me that “this is normal.” Tonight, I also heard that people are reaching a new norm and getting used to the idea of social distancing, which is also reassuring. I feel the same way, but it’s taken 6-weeks. This is not to get down on myself, but it takes this kind of time and intention to break habits, to notice, and to make a change. Just the other day, I took out my garbage (because I had too… the smell!!!) and I wanted to bring in a bag of recycling and shovel back into my apartment from my car. I brought the bag of recycling and shovel back into my apartment but I also threw away a bits of garbage that was littered all over my car, found a pair of mittens (hidden underneath the driver’s seat), found 6-pairs of winter socks from Costco (bought who knows when), and discovered a set of bookends (that I needed for some time but didn’t know where they went). I was stunned and humoured at the same time.
There are so many COVID-19 challenges out there and I just heard that staying at home during the pandemic has the same effect as the FROSH-15… but it’s the COVID-19. I think I gained the 19 pounds I lost… or at least it feels like it. I have never eaten so go in my entire life. I am really enjoying eating at home… not because I have to, but I want to. Cooking gives me a time to be present, to take care of myself, and to focus on something that is tactile versus cognitive. There is so much creativity to be had with cooking. I think I might have missed my calling, but I am enjoying it nonetheless. Now, it’s time to focus on me and take care of myself during this time of craziness and isolation. I’ve never been physically alone for this long before. I am reflecting a lot on self and what’s important to me and why. I am finding that COVID-19 is bring a lot of tragedy, stress, and anxiety to many… it’s also a time (if you can) to reflect, be grateful, and be kind to self and others. So… I have committed to a 5KM daily challenge for the next 6-weeks of COVID-19. This is not going away anytime soon and some of my habits have changed. My values have shifted. And, what I need to do right now is take care of myself and my mental health.
#physicaldistancing #mentalhealth #stayingathome
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 26th, 2020 | Comments Off on 5 KM Daily Challenge
We are heading towards the end of Week 6 of #socialisolation and I am going to write my weekly blog entry/reflection one day early. I figured it’s close enough and… who made up these rules anyway?!? LOL. There is not one day that goes by when I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I have a lot to be thankful for. It’s been a treacherous school year to say the least with my personal life, job action, and the COVID19 pandemic. I am only highlighting a few aspects that “could have been better.” All three events are CRITICAL MOMENTS in my life (and many), which resulted in “low productivity” towards my #OneWord2020 of TENURE. As mentioned, I am not actually working towards tenure at this very moment, but would like to be in a position that is “tenure track” so that I can focus my work and attention towards tenure. Anyway, I am “hitting the wall.” The tenure track posting I applied for is on hold because of the pandemic and truly… LIFE IS ON HOLD… until the pandemic is over. Ironically, this is a fantastic time to be working on my research and writing… and I am. I just finished the Winter 2020 Term and all of my work and grades are submitted. I am shifting gears and working on a few projects. Again, I have immense gratitude to have this work and I am not in a dire situation where I am struggling to acquire basic needs. The wall that I am hitting is more of a social-emotional one. It’s definitely been a journey for the last 6-weeks for self living in social isolation. Overall, it’s been good but I am acutely aware that mental health is a fragile on the best of days for anyone during the pandemic and the last few days for me could have been better. Nothing dramatic or manic, but I would like to be reunited with my daughter and I am so happy that my mom is not here during the pandemic because she would not have taken the heightened stress and living conditions. What brings me a bit of joy is this ring I bought a couple of weeks ago and received last week. It reminds me of my mom. It’s something big and obnoxious, but shiny and pretty that my mom would wear. I also bought it from one of my former students from my high school teaching days and this was part of a collection that her mom was accruing before she had passed away. I took a moment and put the ring on today. I just love it. I was quickly reminded of my mom and felt a moment of solace that things are going to be OK. I can breathe. I needed to do this. I have this ring sitting on my dresser with other things that I love and value. I hope you are finding these moments to ground yourself in these extraordinary times.
#stayhome #staysafe #physicaldistancing #COVID19
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 23rd, 2020 | Comments Off on Hitting the Wall