It took me some time to condition myself to NOT work 7-days a week and around the clock and reprogram myself to take Saturdays as “be a person day” and to go to bed at a reasonable hour. It helped to have an almost burnout situation almost two-years ago and adopting a cat when I moved into my townhouse. Yesterday was a pleasant reminder that “be a person day” is so essential for me to REST and recalibrate for the upcoming work week. I’ll admit, it took some time to get myself to NOT work, guilt-free on Saturdays, but also setting and creating boundaries so that it does not bleed into other days of the week. Because I am not working everyday of the week, and around the clock, I have to be mindful of what I can and cannot do, make the most of each work day, and self-care is not selfish. Yesterday, the kid and I end the day with ice cream at Ice Cream Express. It’s a seasonal, small business run by one ‘very active’ young man. We both got a kid-sized ice cream, and it was HUGE. The one-scoop and two-scoop options are equally generous. I got burgundy cherry, and it was delicious. I just needed to slow down I was so wound up over the weeks with still a tonne to do, the messiness of changing one’s habits is a given so forgiveness is also part of the process. It’s Sunday morning and I feel good. I feel renewed. During the week, I was putting myself aside because I’ve been overwhelmed or overworked. I can’t do that anymore. I’m important. This self-love has been incredibly challenging to achieve, but in doing so, I can make better choices for myself and my work. I’m not getting any younger, and I am realizing that life, my wellness, and my health cannot be taken for granted. I feel that I need to take hold of my life… almost for the first time. I feel more rested and empowered. YAY!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 03rd, 2026 | No Comments »
In this photo, my kid and I went to get pho. She had soup, and I had this prawn and roll platter. It was absolutely delicious and a huge portion. This meal has held me for 3 meals. I enjoyed every bite, and thank goodness for air fryers. What was life like before the air fryer. This appliance is the MOST used appliance in my household next to the coffee machine. Another thing I love… COFFEE. We have a Keurig and a Nespresso. I love both of those appliances as well. Expresso or a drip coffee in one cup… it can’t get any better. Yes… there are a few things I love. They do lean onto the food spectrum, hence the many food pics. I just enjoy the food, the experience, and the memories. I feel so loved and joyful when I am engaged in eating or drinking something I love and often times, the company I keep. I am so grateful for the food, the love, and the people. I am very lucky.
I think as a child, I feel that food was a privilege. We did not have a lot of food and I was given food that I was given. My parents worked very hard to put food on the table. My mom made the most of the dollar to maximize the food in our house. I don’t know how she did it. I have very negative memories about food. The fridge was almost empty, my mom bought “x” bread (aka., day old bread), and my made many stir fry dinners with meat she cut off a chicken leg (aka., the cheapest cut). My dad worked at the pulp mill, underemployed, and worried about being laid off from month-to-month. My mom worked at the cannery and pulp mill cafeteria at one time and worked around the clock, then in the food industry as a coffee shop owner, caterer, and delicatessen worker. I often think about how many sandwiches my mom had to make to ensure that my siblings and I are educated, working in places where we thrive, and living “the good life” in Canada.
This blog post is the fourth time I have with this title. It does not surprise me. I’ve been feeling kind of low lately and have been resistant to complete some of work I need to do because I am not in the right headspace. I feel that I am finally seeing myself through this heavy space but still have a tonne of stuff to do. I will get it done today. I have no choice. What I am learning is, to feel the feels before proceeding. I don’t want to react, and I don’t want to numb myself and plough through the work without feelings. I just recently did the Myers-Briggs test lately. I was talking about it with my sister. She is INTP. My kid is ISFJ. I used to be ESTJ when I was first introduced to this preference test, but now with a new life, a new way of being, and therapy… LOL… I am now an ENFP, the campaigner. I am enthusiastic, creative, and idealistic. When I read this description, I feel like it’s telling my story (when before I was doing what I thought I should do).
Why does this matter? It’s so important to be who you are and celebrate it. Everyone has strengths, and everyone has stretches too. For many years, I was trying to be someone who I was not to “fit in” and often compromised who I was to “belong.” BAD MOVE. I lost myself in doing that. The people-pleasing, the self-betrayal, and the hurt that equated to numbing was HELL. I won’t do that anymore. The person I belong to is ME. I am so grateful for Brene Brown’s work, but also the work of my therapist, and now, the work of my physiotherapist. Be yourself. Love yourself. And, ask for help, if you needed it. Ah yes, vulnerability, acceptance, and love. These virtues are so essential to our ability to experience joy, happiness, and doing what you love. I am not motivated by money, but rather I am motivated in helping (or lifting) others to be their best selves. I love listening to other people’s jam. I love slowing down and savouring in the joy.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 26th, 2026 | No Comments »
Yesterday, April 18, 2026, was my friend’s birthday. Happy birthday, Nina!! I did not realize that it was her birthday, but knew it was coming soon. Yesterday morning, as I rolled over in bed to reach for my phone (a very, very unhealthy habit), and I got a Facebook notification announcing birthdays. My friend passed away last year, but her Facebook page is still alive and well. LOL. Social media. I’m beginning to question the value of social media in relationship with humanity. Very questionable. Nina passed away last year from a 1.5 year battle with cancer. She had glioblastoma. I remember her telling me her diagnosis on my birthday at 4 or 5 am. She did not use that term, glioblastoma, but with what she had described, Google provided the rest of the details. I remember her introducing her herself to me in 2019 at the CAfLN (Canadian Assessment for Learning Network) conference. At that time, I was not in the best place in my life. Things were very uncertain for me and I was about to embark on lots of life changes, but she remained caring, curious, and joyful. I appreciated her friendship ever since. She was 10-years my junior. Nina was a phenomenal teacher educator, assessment advocate, and educational researcher. She was in the middle of her doctorate program, something that she had always wanted to do, but was unable to finish due to her health condition. She was so passionate about her work, her kids, and her family. Nina was good friend.
I met up with our mutual friend, Shannon, in Prince George for bunch (image below). Of course, we took a selfie. Shannon is no longer on social media. I wish I could do the same. I do social media for my job, but I guess I could step away as well. Anyway, I chose to go to Grama’s Kitchen at Grama’s Inn for brunch. My other friend took me there a couple of months ago and I loved it, so I wanted to go back again. As you can see with the image above, the breakfast feature of two eggs, hashbrowns, toast, and sausage is HUGE and I chose items that remind me of my mom, like sausage and shredded hashbrowns, but Shannon had her eggs poached, ordered bacon, and chose to have the potato “cubes” with grilled onion. Damn. I love the permutations. We both had coffee and chatted for a good couple of hours. I love catching up with Shannon and I love spending “be a person day” connecting with friends and having a restaurant breakfast (aka., my favourite). The meal was very satisfying, much like the conversation, and I brought my raisin toast home to have for breakfast at another time. I thought it was serendipitous to have planned and meet on Nina’s birthday. Nina had a huge impact on both of us and believe that Nina brought us together in some way to celebrate her birthday. She was that kind of person. Selfless, always in service. Nina was an incredible person, much like Shannon. We decided to meet again next month, but go somewhere else. We gabbed for a bit in the parking lot and decided to rate and review each restaurant we go to.
Although we did not set success criteria for the brunch assessment, Grama’s Kitchen is PROFICIENT. We are referring to BC’s Proficiency Scale (not a score out of 10). I would have rated Grama’s as a solid 8 out of 10, but that’s based on my feelings, past experiences, and perceived level of self-satisfaction. I love the diner atmosphere, the service is fun, animated, and personable, and the food is delicious. I know I will be back again. Thank you Grama’s Kitchen for another amazing breakfast. I’ll be back again. For the blog-reader, look forward to our next brunch review (with success criteria too). 🙂
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 19th, 2026 | Comments Off on The Brunch Review
As we approach the end of another semester at the university, my daughter (known as the kid) will be graduating soon. She has only a few more days of clinical left which concludes her final term at the university. As selfish as the may sound, I am so grateful that I could be with my daughter during her undergraduate years. I remember as a kid that I had to leave home at 17-years old and go to university. I had no idea what I was doing. From Prince Rupert to Vancouver at UBC, I was a deer in the headlights, to say the least. I stayed in residence and had no idea what I wanted to do. My kid, on the other hand, due to life circumstances, followed me to Prince George after she graduated from high school. We lived in my one-bedroom apartment for a few years. She got the bedroom and the dining room became my bedroom/office. She took a couple courses from the school district as an adult student before entering the nursing program at CNC and UNBC. And about a year and a half ago, I bought my own place in Prince George, to make a commitment to me, the kid, and the place.
No regrets.
I almost think this is how things should have played out. I feel very fortunate that my kid received quite a few scholarship and bursaries to pay for most of her tuition at CNC. I am grateful to my mom who helped out in creating an RESP for my kid and contribute to it religiously so that my kid could have an education. And finally, I am thankful that I have had a steady contract and renewal at the university so that my kid could reap the benefit of tuition waivers. She also won a couple of bursaries too during her time at the university, and she has worked as a ESN (employed student nurse) for a couple of summers as well as acquire some RA funding with a couple of research projects she has been involved in. Moreover, now that I’m bragging, she was VP of the Pre-Med Club as well as the President of the Stem Cell Club, in addition to being a member of the REB (research ethics board) and co-chair of Hoops 3-on-3 and executive member of the Relay for Life in Prince George. It’s a handful, and she did that on her own. Did I mention that we were roomies the whole time? I just loved it.
Wow. I guess I really wanted to talk about how proud I am of my kid. She’s really made the most of a situation and then some. I am really excited for her with respect to next steps and I will support her in any way I can. Again, I loved spending this time with her during her undergraduate years to see her grow up, be an adult, and heal from many of the hardships experienced as a young child. We were healing together.
So, onto the real premise of this blog post. It’s something that I have been considering for quite some time, but now more than ever, given that my kid is finishing up school and moving into the big world as an adult with her nursing credentials and skills acquired from higher education, I feel that now I can be my own person too. So who is that? Who am I? I just came to the realization that much of what I am curious about with respect to research is (1) out-of-field teaching; (2) professional learning experiences; and (3) identity development… are all things that I experienced, love, and struggle with. Makes sense. What you research has to be important to you. The context from which I do my research is in mathematics education, teacher education, and teacher leadership. Also makes sense too, as these three areas in education reflect my positionality in my personal and professional spaces. But really? Who am I?
DR. CHRISTINE HO
It’s taken some time to get here. I remember as a kid that I would write out on a piece of paper, “Dr. Christine Ho, BSc, MSc, PhD.” My dad, I did not realize until years later, had found these pieces of paper (or at least saw them in my room). It was something that was always in my mind, and in many ways, never thought it would be possible. Admittedly, I did not take the “intended” route to get my doctorate, and really, the letters after my name unravelled more like, “BSc, BEd, MEd, EdD,” but I’m still “Dr. Christine.” I kinda like that name when students call me that. It resonates with me, respectful but personal, even though I prefer “Christine” instead. All is good.
After separating and my divorce, I could have easily changed my name. I ended up with a compromise by calling myself “Christine Ho Younghusband” to recognize two big chapters of my life being “Christine Ho” and “Christine Younghusband.” Now that my kid is turning to a new chapter, I feel that I can too. I was looking for some images that reflected a time when I was “Christine Ho” and found two grad photos: one from high school and one from my B.Sc. in Chemistry. I guess these images provoked me to also talk about my kid, her accomplishments, and her upcoming convocation. Anyway, these photos look BOMB. I had no idea. Of course I took off my glasses for both grad photos. Not sure why? The vanity!! I have been wearing glasses since I was in Grade 1. Anyway, I wanted to see myself as CHRISTINE HO, now Dr. Christine Ho, and I’m feeling the vibe. I am so overwhelmed how much work it will be to change my name, but much like my townhouse, I’m worth it. I think I’ll start this process in June.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 11th, 2026 | Comments Off on Changing My Name
An archival pic of my family from 2017, I believe. It’s one of our last family photos.
April 5, 2026 – OMG… I’m sick and lost my voice
You just can’t take things for granted. OMG… I’m just struggling with illness. I have no idea what I have… a cold, the flu, or COVID. Oof. All I know is, I am sick, I am coughing like nobody’s business, and I lost my voice. I just had another “cold” a few weeks ago and managed to “work my way through it” but this time, I don’t know. I am fully operational in terms of low level activity, like blogging. I went to Vancouver last weekend with my kid. She had an appointment in Vancouver and she wanted me to come along. It turned out to be a weekend of connection, rest, and bliss. We met up with one of her childhood friends, we met up with my family, and we visited my mom. We celebrated this weekend as my kid is heading closer to graduation. I got her a build-a-bear and we had a couple of massages too. We had a great weekend, but I could feel something creeping from behind.
My ears would not unplug after flying home from Vancouver. This anomaly was my first clue. Of course, like any good teacher, I denied these symptoms, hoping that my ear would pop and life would proceed as it should. Monday was my last in-person teaching day with this crew. Next Monday (aka., tomorrow), is Easter Monday, and our last Monday together was made asynchronous. Everything in those two classes are due that day. I got through that day, and I was in the race-of-work. Because my last weekend was spent with my kid, I was in full gear trying to get things done, like email, prep, and meetings. I was still in sick-denial. By the time I was teaching my Tuesday night class, I could feel “the sick” coming in hard and fast. The first part of the class, my class was being filmed for the university. The second-half, I was dying. I think the students picked up on this when no one sat beside me in circle. I dragged myself home and I was overwhelmed by SICK.
Just like that, I was drinking NeoCitron, having Benadryl, and managing to get through Wednesday and Thursday before Easter long weekend. Luckily, I could work from home. But, I lost my voice by the end of Wednesday… and now it’s Sunday, and I still don’t have my voice. I had to teach my Thursday online class using the chat function, established instructional routines, and videos. That was an interesting experience. My occupation is very reliant on my voice. Thank goodness the class went well and my students were very compassionate and accommodating. It’s been an interesting class and I appreciate how it’s been moving along despite the interruptions. After that class, I was very intentional to take the night off, to go to bed, and take the next day or two to recover from this mess. Two days later, I am still sick, I’m struggling with sleep, and I still don’t have my voice.
So, why the photo of my family? My sister, brother, and I are connected via text messaging. I am so grateful to be so connected to them both. Although I spent a good chunk of my life trying to be “like them” as the first child and first boy in our family, I have learned that they have my best interests at heart and I don’t have to be like them (or anyone) to be accepted for who I am. Anyway, I am very grateful for what they both have to offer and very appreciative of the sibling-team we have become for one another and for my dad. A long story made short, it was triage for us which resulted in a FaceTime call. Of course, I had no voice. I was all non-verbal cues, much like my Thursday’s class without the chat function. My sister commented by saying mid-Triage about me not having a voice and how refreshing it was. LOL. I’ll take that as a compliment. It’s been something that I have been learning since my mom passed. I have a voice. Use it.
In the end, the triage-moment proceeded as it did and I was left wondering about not taking what we have for granted. I’ve been doing that for many, many years. But, I have my health. I have a place to live. I have a job I love. I live with my kid. I have everything I need. Ok. I am sick and lost my voice, but what a wonderful reminder of making the most of what I have and not take things for granted. I have been adapting and doing my best to make the most of the current situation. I have rested for a couple of days, like it was the weekend, and I have a couple of more days this long weekend to get things done without the interruption of meetings and emails. It’s nice. As we approach the end of the term, I hope to get my voice back from my last two classes, one on Tuesday and the other on Thursday. Other than that, it’s time to close the term, get my marking done, and to submit grades. I also need to work on my CV. I’ve done a tonne of things for the last 3-months and I need to document them for the annual report. Honestly, life is good.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 05th, 2026 | Comments Off on Appreciate What You Have
Yes, this blog post will be one of gratitude. I am so grateful for my sister. She my older sister. We did not become close until were were both adults. Much of my formative years was spent leaning on my twin brother. As time has passed and I’m well into adulthood and career, my sister and I grew closer. We started to get to know one another and for many years I struggled with being the youngest in my family. Although I am a twin, I am the youngest. My sister and brother were afforded the responsibilities of being the older siblings. I guess I fulfilled the stereotype of the youngest sibling. Generally, I just followed along and did what I was told. I did hold some resentment for many years as I had wanted to be just like my sister and brother. I wanted to be treated equally. I remember that I insisted as a child and through many of adult years to be treated the same. After my mom passed away in 2018, I realized that we were all treated differently… LOL… and we don’t have the same strengths, even though my mom made things feel equal for me.
Now as an older (and much more wiser) adult, I can see the value that my mom took in differentiating our lived experiences as her offspring. We were all different and we come to this world with different strengths. My mom saw that. In fact, after she passed away and we got to really see what was happening behind the curtains, my mom was the greatest conductor of this H9-family orchestra. She was thoughtful, caring, and strategic. All three of us had to learn about each other again, especially now when we are having to support our dad from a distance. We are three very different people. In hindsight, I don’t know why it was so important to be the same. I also spent much of my time trying to “fit in” to my family, thus betraying my authentic self, to do what I thought my dad, in particular, valued. Now, I understand (from my mom) that we are all different and the strengths that we bring to the table are different. I can see our differences, and I do find it hard to believe that we are so connected. We just don’t have the same strengths.
So, back to being grateful for my BIG sis. Since my mom’s passing, life has changed dramatically in many different ways. As turbulent as that was, I am finally in a place where I feel like my whole-self. It’s amazing to feel like oneself, with no compromises. Admittedly, it was scary to learn more about who I am, my value, and my self-worth. I had to figure out what made me happy, what stokes my fire, and what I truly believe in. There has been many pivots along the way and I feel that I can foreshadow another potential pivot in the horizon. In some ways, it freaks me out, but in other ways, I’m not reacting. I’m trying to be realistic while still keeping aligned to who I am and what I want out of life. This is where my sister comes into the picture. Last week, I really needed to co-regulate with someone at the end of the work day, and my sister is always there to pick up the call (or call back). After the call on Friday, I was so grateful that she could reason with me about a particular situation and co-regulate me to a place of calm and peacefulness. The next day, we are catching up and strategizing next steps. In this case, she uses her strengths to help me out. I am so grateful for this unconditional love.
I feel calm and rational in anticipation of what might come. And even still, it’s about making a decision for me. Just last night, I shared with my kid about saying no to something, and her response was that she was happy for me for being able to put myself first. HUH. That really struck me… I don’t do that. I am learning not only more about myself, but I am also learning more about asking for help, being vulnerable, and accepting this help knowing that people want the best for me. This is a good feeling.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 16th, 2026 | Comments Off on Feeling Much Gratitude
Here is a beautiful picture of my family… from the archives. I remember this day. I love this photo and I believe that I am taking the selfie, even though my dad’s head is right in front of mine… LOL. Obviously, my siblings and I are all adults, my mom did not quite yet turn the corner with her illness at the time, and my dad still had his memory. We all look a little younger, which is nice, and we are at some restaurant in Burnaby, BC. I think we are at the Chinese restaurant on Kingsway between my parents’ place and the Metrotown mall. It’s likely a Saturday and I commuted from the Sunshine Coast. We are having dim sum (except for my sister who is vegan and thus, she gets a mushroom dish).
Anyway, today is FAMILY DAY in BC and the first day of the mid-semester break. Normally, I would be teaching today, but I have the day off. Sadly, the truth is, I’m working and trying to catch up with work. It’s not that I am not getting things done, but rather, everything is taking way more time than I am anticipating it to take. For example, I was writing a draft copy of a chapter for a book and I was not going to make the deadline. I tried, but it was not going to happen. Luckily, the co-editors provided a weeklong extension. I thought that was generous because I thought I was close. NOPE. I have a full teaching week with 4 courses and no shortage of meetings, I ended up taking the whole week to complete. What helped was asking for help. For that, I am so grateful.
A long story made short, one thing at a time, one deadline after another, I have landed on this long weekend with some work (well, lots of work) to do on Monday. What I am proud about is, I prioritized sleep (as best I could), eating, and rest. To have this work somewhat sustainable, I need to take care of myself. Over time, I hope to add walking into the mix too. Anyway, I am just making each deadline and acknowledging that I can only do one thing at a time. That’s it. Everything (well, most things) so that I can get something done. I am pleased that I got the chapter done, and I also got my PAR (professional activity report) done on time (barely), as well as a task for one committee completed this morning. Again, I’m so grateful for help and time. It’s never planned.
I’m not disappointed, but rather grateful. I even took my “be a person day” this Saturday because I missed at least the last 2 Saturdays with hopes of getting things done. Honestly, rest is an excellent way to improve one’s productivity. I know, it sounds counter intuitive, but I just find that I can email, blog, and respond to what I need to do in a clear-headed, restful, and mindful way. I feel that way right now because I tried to start my blogs yesterday, but I was not ready do. I even missed last week’s blog and I just have to be ok with that. Anyway, when I am rested, things get done. The one-thing-at-a-time approach seems to be working in my favour as well as being kind to myself too.
As I get older, I have so much more gratitude for my family. I feel that my growing pains and perceived positionality in my family have taken a step back and I know my agency and my self-worth. Having lots to do is a good problem and I love everything that I am doing too. Every day is a gift and I will not take that for granted. Also this week is Chinese New Year and Saturday it was Valentine’s Day. These 3 particular days remind me of a pivotal week for my mom when she was in the hospital during her last “20 days.” She was admitted to the hospital on Family Day long weekend, she decided on Valentine’s Day to stop any intervention, and on Chinese New Year, we spoke to the palliative care doctor. It was a big week and my mom ultimately decided on MAID. That was 8 years ago.
I will not lose sight on the sacrifices my mom (and dad) took to give me and my siblings the good life of which we reap the benefits from. I am also grateful for the relationships I have with my brother and sister. We are so different from one another but we manage to connect and support one another that is enduring, loving, and caring. Right now, we are supporting my dad in his final chapter and I am grateful for my siblings and mom and dad for making me the person that I am today. I am also thankful for my kid and my cat. They make my life full. And, I am very happy to be doing work today because I love the work that I do. I was meant to be here and slowly but surely, I am learning what’s important to me, and having voice in expressing why it’s important. My mom would be proud of me.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, February 16th, 2026 | Comments Off on Catching Up on Family Day
Look at what I found at Costco this week… DUMPLINGS!! Finding these is a moment to celebrate. Let me explain… I moved to Prince George from the Lower Mainland. Access to Chinese/Cantonese food was very easy. I have a lot of good memories having dim sum or double duck dinner with my mom and family. Food brought us together. I moved to the Central Interior of BC about 7 years ago (and 2 of those years were spent on the Sunshine Coast during the pandemic). Anyway, Chinese food in this area tends to be more of the Canadian-Chinese genre and finding places with authentic Chinese food is hard to find. We did find a few yummy dishes at one restaurant called Fortune Palace. It’s pretty close. There are also a few dishes that taste pretty good at Famous Wok in the mall too. So, I do like going there sometimes if I don’t want to spend $100 to get a meal. But, it would be nice to cook at home. What I really want are DUMPLINGS or dim sum.
One year, after the pandemic and returning to Prince George, I spend a whole year investigating where I could get yummy Chinese food, in particular, dumplings. I found some in Superstore. I found some refrigerated potstickers with that yummy vinegar sauces. That was excellent. I have also found Hong Kong style rice rolls, deep fried bread, and frozen onion pancakes. Lastly, the Superstore also have some delicious frozen vegan dumplings, egg tarts, hargow, and rice noodles. All of these items are pretty good. And taking the time to list these items makes me realize that there are quite a few things here in Prince George. There is a local store call the Marquee and I love getting the frozen dumpling there and sticky rice. AMAZING. I also try to by my sauces there and anything that seems to catch my attention. I love supporting a local business. And, I did find Hon’s potstickers at Save-on-Foods. That said, I love the Bibigo dumplings at Costco (and Superstore and Save-on-Foods). It’s my favourite, but can be pretty pricey. As you can see, I found bags of suimai and hargow at Costco. I’ve had the hargow before and now in stock, but the suimai was a new find. Both products are made in Canada. #winning
FOCUS ON THE JOY
I tried both dumplings yesterday along with some BBQ Buns from Costco (of which the taste was spot on), and the dumplings were pretty good. They are a 7 out of 10. You cannot compare these dumplings with those found in Vancouver. I go to a restaurant called The Neptune near Metrotown and The Boss in Metrotown. These two places are must go-to’s for me. The food reminds me of my mom, but one of the very few things that I hold on to as part of my ethnic identity. I feel that’s why I am so determined to find items like these to keep me grounded to who I am. As I reflect on this dumpling find and the dumpling-hunt overall, I am reminded by the process. There were lots of wins, but also some losses. And, that’s ok. That’s learning. You have to try some things out to see if it’s something that you want, or not want. Ironically, it serves as a metaphor for my work as a practitioner-scholar. That’s probably the first time that I have identified myself as that, but I am coming to terms that the term PRACTITIONER-SCHOLAR best describes who I am. I am deeply invested in action-research, program evaluations, and self-studies as part of my scholarship. Identity, experiential learning, and reflective practice are at the heart of what I do. The context is mathematics education, teacher education, and professional learning. Leadership, policy, and governance weave into my work ask well.
I feel very lucky to do what I do. I love going to conferences, I love presenting, and I love learning. I love working with others, whether it be students or colleagues, and I love learning from experience. I understand that in my work, there is a sense of urgency, productivity, and publishing to attain tenure and promotion, but my position is a bit different. As much as I could “complain” or be distressed about not being tenure track, but I feel lucky nonetheless. I live in a community that is just the right size for me. I live in my home (that I bought all by myself) with my kid and cat. And, I live in a way that works for me and my pace of life. I am learning that I am not living my life for anyone else, but for myself. There are wins and losses, much like the dumplings. For example, I have won 2 internal grants as the principal investigator to support two research assistants and I am currently working with 3 teacher candidates to go to a student teacher conference and 3 recent graduates to publish a chapter. I think my only barrier is… ME. No one wants to eat a yucky dumpling, but how else do you learn? Yes, there is a potential to be rejected (which I have been) but the focus is what I can learn from the experience and feedback. You never know… it might be a winning dumpling!! Just try.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, January 16th, 2026 | Comments Off on Focus on the Joy
Sadly, this photo was taken from the archives… LOL. It’s a photo from September 2025 and it kind of reflects my current feeling. So, why not? The reason why this photo was in my recent images, I was reviewing my photos throughout the year and selecting a photos for each month for a photo collage of highlights for 2025 (see below). I guess this image of me did not make the cut. It’s snowing today and I just finished my PowerPoint presentations for my classes on Monday. I still have to prep on Sunday, but it’s nice to be ahead on the “lesson plan” and then prep the details the night before. I’m hoping to figure out my routine for the winter term. Last year, it was terrible. Having 8-hours of instruction on Mondays does not lend well to “be a person Saturdays.” I am a little combobbled right now. I totally forgot to recycle today because I was working today.
Recycling will now have to wait a week… a natural consequence to being combobbled. I did do the weekly cat-cleaning duties this morning, but I guess working on the PowerPoint and planning offset my momentum for the week. Nor here or there… I’m not even sure why I’m writing about it. LOL. Actually, I do enjoy recycling. I love the closure of sorting and emptying out my recycling bins and bags. I did realize that I did not recycle this afternoon and it would have been viable to “get up and go” to recycle this afternoon, but it was snowing A LOT and I just came back from a short outing with the kid (and she was driving). I made the executive decision NOT to recycle. I did not want to go outside. Accept the consequences and move on. But here’s the deal… NOTHING HAPPENS.
No one cares if I had recycled today or not, or if my photo was just taken yesterday or four months ago. NOTHING HAPPENS. This life’s lesson has taken me a very long time to understand. There are always natural consequences, but the intensity of anyone caring or that life will end or that “something terrible” will happen… doesn’t happen. I learned this lesson almost a handful of years ago when I rented a car. I backed into a planter on my way back to the airport and I was stressing the whole way there. During the whole trip, I imagined many different outcomes… and none of them were good. My anxiety was at an all time high as I approached the parkade to drop off the car. I told them about the back bumper on the driver’s side. One of them went out to inspect the car and confirmed my claim. They asked me to sign in a few places and said that the bill to repair the vehicle would be in the mail. There was no judgement, no shaming, and no blaming. NOTHING HAPPENED. I got the bill and for such a “small” ding, the bill was a doozey, but not unreasonable. I realized then that I was the one who cared… but no one else did.
There are some instances when people do care, but the actions are my doing and others may have been negatively impacted. Again, there are natural consequences, but I can take ownership for my actions. That’s another life’s lesson. Take ownership of what you do or what you believe in… that’s my agency but also my responsibility. I can understand that, for sure. I will admit that I do appreciate when “nothing happens.” It was almost like I had to cool-down my nervous system and not overthink or overreact to a situation. That fear was deeply embedded in me and I needed the time to unlearn or deprogram myself into a different way of being. I can see that I can be my biggest obstacle. The fear of failure or success is overwhelming sometimes that it just leads me to avoidance, procrastination, or self-sabotaging behaviours. That’s not a good thing either, even though NOTHING HAPPENS. And, even if something did happen, I would potentially be deeply triggered into cognitive paralysis. The fear would be and can be overwhelming.
Of course, I see Adam Grant’s post tonight as I was writing this blog post and I was heartened by the message of focussing on habits and not outcomes. The outcomes will come. I would give that message to my math students (when I taught high school math). “Don’t focus on the grade, focus on the math… the grade will come.” How full circle is this? It’s the pot calling the kettle black. I am so grateful for my #OneWord2026: PRACTICE… in particular, “deliberate practice.” What I really intended with this word are HABITS. Changing one thing at a time… nothing major… but with a real focus on improving my health, courage to take (academic) risks, and be present. Today, I exercised for 30 minutes, I had 2 Stanleys of water (with electrolytes), and I’m getting used to using my NEW electric toothbrush and brushing for 2 minutes twice a day (and flossing). I am also trying to blog on Saturdays (even though it’s now Sunday after midnight).
There are a few habits I want to break… or minimize… but it’s these small victories I need to be celebrating and PRACTICING different habits and “alter actions that are in my control.” I also finished my planning for Monday on Saturday (with some prep on Sunday). THIS IS PROGRESS. I am also going to bed at a decent hour and I will get up tomorrow morning to start anew. I can do this and I am realizing that I also need to be reasonable with all the things I put on myself as well. I can’t expect that I can do a million things (plus one) just because I perceive other people are doing that or if I believe that is something I should do. There you go… another habit I am practicing. When do I say no? What do I love to do? What makes me happy? I also believe I am trying to kick the PLEASER-mindset to find my self-worth, but rather I am understanding my self-worth and learning how to act accordingly. Focus on the process. In the end, NOTHING HAPPENS.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, January 04th, 2026 | Comments Off on Nothing Happens
Is that what I want for myself? It’s starting to look like a habit… re: blogging every second week. That’s not my plan, but it’s turning out to be that way. Normally, I would like to blog to reflect on my week but also think about some of the lessons learned during that week. Moreover, blogging often helped me as a warm-up to work. Is this something that I am making up? I think I am, but lately, I have not been prioritizing my blog time as part of my “things to do.” Blogging would be something that I looked forward to, particularly on the weekends. I would also blog when I was inspired so more than one blog post would emerge from the week. Now, I perceive blogging like work (i.e., something that I have to do). Blogging is not part of my work, but maintaining a reflective practice is part of my work. Anyway, here I am… two weeks later… writing my blog post… on a Monday.
If anything, I do need to get motivated or geared up to do the list of things I need to do. I have been prioritizing sleep and rest. Unfortunately, last weekend I opted to work… and I did… all weekend. By the time the week rolled around, I was somewhat tired, I needed a lot more to recover from the day, and my days remained fairly full. As a result, things that did not get done just spill over into the next week. Last Friday, after two weeks of full-output with respect to ending the term and doing additional work I have signed up for, I had nothing left in me after an afternoon meeting that day. The weather dipped deep into the cold, it was snowing, and I just wanted to REST… and so I did… all weekend, guilt-free. I just needed the time to restore myself. I had no idea that recycling, vacuuming, and doing my laundry would have such a restorative effect on me.
I was not in the mood for anything Friday night. I did not have the will. I did some housework on Saturday, as mentioned. On Sunday, I just slept in, took a nap, and chilled for most of the day. I did not even want to blog, so here I am on a Monday afternoon, the day after winter solstice. Dang, it did get dark early yesterday. And, I made my kid and her boyfriend dinner. I cleaned up and just enjoyed my time with my cat. I’m becoming one of those ladies… a cat-lady… and, I’m liking it. I was looking forward to the next couple of days to catch up on a very big list on some very big things to complete that rolled into this week from the last few weeks and beyond. Sadly, I almost missed the one Monday morning meeting I had scheduled. Holy moly… there needs to be a balance between rest and work. I am loving BE A PERSON Saturdays, but it does trickle into Friday nights and Sundays. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but it does make the week full.
If anything, I am not complaining, but I am honestly grateful to have this work to do. I love what I am doing. I love where I am. And, I love the people that I get to work with. In the end, prioritizing my time only highlights what’s important to me. All of what I am doing is important and I have learned to walk away from things that do not fill my cup, sucks up too much energy, or I do not love to do. So, how lucky am I? VERY LUCKY.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, December 22nd, 2025 | Comments Off on Prioritizing My Time
It took me some time to condition myself to NOT work 7-days a week and around the clock and reprogram myself to take Saturdays as “be a person day” and to go to bed at a reasonable hour. It helped to have an almost burnout situation almost two-years ago and adopting a cat when I moved into my townhouse. Yesterday was a pleasant reminder that “be a person day” is so essential for me to REST and recalibrate for the upcoming work week. I’ll admit, it took some time to get myself to NOT work, guilt-free on Saturdays, but also setting and creating boundaries so that it does not bleed into other days of the week. Because I am not working everyday of the week, and around the clock, I have to be mindful of what I can and cannot do, make the most of each work day, and self-care is not selfish. Yesterday, the kid and I end the day with ice cream at Ice Cream Express. It’s a seasonal, small business run by one ‘very active’ young man. We both got a kid-sized ice cream, and it was HUGE. The one-scoop and two-scoop options are equally generous. I got burgundy cherry, and it was delicious. I just needed to slow down I was so wound up over the weeks with still a tonne to do, the messiness of changing one’s habits is a given so forgiveness is also part of the process. It’s Sunday morning and I feel good. I feel renewed. During the week, I was putting myself aside because I’ve been overwhelmed or overworked. I can’t do that anymore. I’m important. This self-love has been incredibly challenging to achieve, but in doing so, I can make better choices for myself and my work. I’m not getting any younger, and I am realizing that life, my wellness, and my health cannot be taken for granted. I feel that I need to take hold of my life… almost for the first time. I feel more rested and empowered. YAY!!
