September 6, 2026 – Nothing tastes better than crab
Gosh… I remember as a young child growing up in Prince Rupert of eating crab at the coffee table. I’m not sure how the crab was acquired. I think my mom new a lot of people from working in the cannery who my have gifted or sold the crab to my mom and dad for a very reasonable price. There is no question in my mind that I am a crab-person through and through, and not a lobster-person. Seafood, living near the ocean, and being in a small town is very much in my DNA (aka., my identity). I am reading a book now about identity, or at least the first part of the book, and I was struck by how one’s identity is fluid, negotiated, and context-based. Today, I don’t live near the ocean and in a place that’s at least 10-times bigger than the two places where I have lived for an extended period of time. And yes, I get crab, that’s frozen, from a person who transports it from the place I used to live as a child. So, having this half-crab for dinner was a delight.
I just love the idea that one’s identity can change. I feel that. I’ve been undergoing many changes over the last few decades (LOL) and it almost feels like I’m returning home lately. I’m not sure if it’s because I have less distractors in my life, or that I have made great efforts to exist in my bubble, or the combination of both ways of being. I am finding my way back home… returning to my-SELF and feeling very aligned to who I am and who I want to be. For example, I am working with a former colleague right now to write a chapter for a book. We are looking back almost 20-years ago on a project we collaborated on. We have been meeting every Sunday to collaborate and discuss ideas, and it’s been very heart-filling and cognitively-nourishing having these conversations. We just decided today to possibly work on a manuscript after the chapter because the amount of work and memories we are going through would merit a second (or third) publication.
I am also grateful for a research team I am leading. There are two faculty members who are associate professors and two graduate research students who are PhD candidates. I feel so honoured to be leading and learning from this group. I always feel awestruck, honoured, and humbled to lead this group, and my colleagues feel the same way. Although I am the Principal Investigator, we are all equal members of this team. WE ARE A TEAM. I feel mentored at the same time as being a co-contributor and leader. We are not in a competing with one another or trying to make an impression, but rather we are doing the work together. Each of takes a lead in different ways, and each of us support one another in the work that we do. We can also see the potential in the work that we are doing and look forward to the new year and where we will go with this project. Data is collected and analysis almost complete. This year will be knowledge mobilization.
I am also grateful for another research team that I am a part of and learning as I am doing within that group. The subject matter can be somewhat out-of-field for me, so I like to focus on what I am able to learn and what aligns to the work that I currently do. I am also grateful for another group of former teacher candidates and the work we had done as we attempt to write a chapter for a book. I am learning so much with this crew and it’s incredible how much they are willing to do and give back to the field and profession. Finally, I was also fortunate to work with some current teacher candidates where they were able to publish their own work, and we co-presented the journey at a recent conference. I should strongly consider writing about my inquiry and the THIRD SPACES that are created for teacher candidates to flourish as undergraduate scholars and maybe consider graduate studies in the future. In the meantime, I learned so much from them.
THIS is what joyful-alignment feels like. I am swamped with gratitude, and I have only mentioned a few recent opportunities and relationships I was gratefully to be a part of. There are so many more… and when you are in alignment, joy and happiness soon follow. It feels like a plate of steamed dungeness crab… LOL… for dinner. Lots of memories, tastes great, and I am riddled with gratitude. This knowing (in addition to the counter-examples experienced that serendipitously affirm my direction and way of being) helps me to decide what’s next. For example, I am going to go to the BC Association of Mathematics Teachers PSA Fall Conference in October. I want to learn more about math and math education. I want to reconnect with “my people.” And, I want to learn something new. I know that math and math education gets me jacked up, and I’m trying to get my doctoral work published. So, getting excited about math is important to me.
I need to stay focused on what’s important and what I love to do. STAY ALIGNED.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 06th, 2026 | No Comments »
Does it feel like fall again? It’s starting to look that way. I’ve been thinking about these #patiopics that I take and post onto X (formally known as Twitter). I started posting a daily #patiopic during the pandemic when I was trapped, in isolation, in my one bedroom apartment in Prince George. Admittedly, that time was somewhat grim and lonely, but it was also a good time for reflection, self-care, and humour. Posting a daily #patiopic entertained me during that time and it has not stopped since. I’ve tried to terminate the daily post, but then I would bump into somebody and they would either give me a suggestion for the post (i.e., during travel), introduce themselves to me because they know me from my patio pics, or pay a compliment to me and my patio pics. As a result, I would re-start again. No complaints. It’s been 6 years and it’s still fun.
Posting a #patiopic is like connecting with a friend. Whether if we’d connect in the morning, evening, or afternoon, I enjoy making my daily post on X and now on BlueSky. It brings me a bit of happiness. As much as Twitter has transformed into something else, I still like to contribute something that give me (and maybe others) a bit of joy. Right now, my #patiopic collides with my weekly blog post. I love taking a moment in my day, once a week, to pause and reflect. We just finished the UNBC Teaching and Learning Conference. Day 1, I was more of the participant, and I got to go outside for a land-based learning workshop in the afternoon. I really needed to be at that workshop, personally and professionally. On Day 2, I presented twice in the afternoon. Although I had wished the attendance was better, I was really happy and proud about both presentations and how they went. I felt really good about the effort and prep that went into both presentations. and the collaboration I had in both teams to make each presentation possible. I also loved the keynotes and other presentations. I am filled with gratitude.
Now that I am blogging and listening to the rain pour outside my office window, I am left to wonder about next steps, the new term, and the work I want to accomplish. I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts that my kid has moved out… not far away… and I’m starting a new school year with new hopes and dreams. The rain is just pouring right now. The metaphor has not escaped me. The renewal… the cleansing… a new beginning. That’s where I feel where I am today… finding my flow, again… but this time, on my own terms. I have been going to physio, regular massages, and trying to create habits to support longevity and health. It’s an interesting time in this chapter of life. Being AUTHENTIC and true to myself is a practice. And, I’m understanding that I make decisions each day that will impact the future… as my friend would say, KARMA. So, who is this authentic self? Who am I? One of my presentations (within a presentation) quoted Parker Palmer about the value of self-knowledge and good teaching. I do have a list of things to do, but there is a part of me that would like these things to be aligned to who I am and my purpose. I heard a local Indigenous word used during the land-based workshop that meant “aligned.” Trust me… it struck a chord and caught my attention. In 2017, I gave a TEDx talk on ALIGNMENT. At that time, I was in search of my place and my purpose. So much has changed since then. At that time, I just defended my dissertation, I was a school trustee, I was married, and I lived in the Lower Mainland.
Huh? I am somewhere else.
Admittedly, I am in a good place. I am an Assistant Professor at the university, I’ve returned to teaching, I’m single, and I live in the Central Interior of BC. I have found my people, and keep finding them. I am doing work that I love and care about. And, I am living on my own… and proud of my kid for finding her independence as an adult who just completed her degree and bought her how place. I feel that I have done my mom job… and successfully. Like my mom, I think the mom-role is ongoing, of course, but the context is now different. My kid is well on her way into adulthood and making her own decisions without mom’s firm suggestions or guilt. LOL. I am thrilled about that and I am also excited for the work that’s ahead of me. This clarity of self, or self-knowledge, not only contributes to my practice as a teacher educator which complements my subject knowledge and knowledge of the learner, but also to my personal life. What’s important to me and why does it matter? I held that question for many years provoked by the pandemic. The more I know myself, the better I can make decisions, make choices that are good for me, and enjoy the work I get to do in life and work. Nothing is permanent.
I feel this moment of renewal because it’s been 8 years at the university. It seems that I doing things in cycles of 8 years, at least in adulthood. Sixteen years in teaching (my kid was born in the middle of that 16-year stretch), a two-term school trustee, and now 8 years at UNBC. I’m not looking for radical change, per se, even though it has been quite a pedagogical journey to get where I am today. I am thinking more about what brings me joy, what makes learning fun, and how can I hone the skills required to live my life to the fullest at home and at work. I think I am a pretty good place now. Not much phases me like it did before. I’m not quite sure if that’s a good or bad thing… but it’s a thing. Let’s see how the next 8 years go. I am excited that I am even taking this pause while listing and tackling the things I need to get done before the school year begins. All is good. 🙂
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, August 28th, 2026 | No Comments »
Well… I may have mentioned in previous blog posts that my kid has moved out of my place… and into her own place. I feel so honoured and privileged to have spent the last 5 years with my kid post-high school graduation. I remember moving out of my parents place and on to university residence at 17-years old. Admittedly, going to the big-smoke as a young kid was somewhat traumatic. I did not transition well… LOL… but managed to stay in university. Thank goodness. For me and the kid, I felt that we got to grow up together… I got to see her transition in to adulthood… we got a chance to transition into adulthood together. I loved that we had the last 5-years together. Our relationship remains good and we see each other almost every day. It’s nice.
What’s also nice is that my twin bro and big sister are coming up to Prince George to visit… to see the kid’s new place (and mine too), and to do the “Prince George” together for a couple of days. It’s a short visit. That’s all we need… and it’s a jammed packed couple of days. I am really looking forward to seeing them and hosting them, but also, it’s a refreshing change from me going to Vancouver to visit them (and my dad)… of which I’ll be doing in September and maybe October. I feel so lucky that we are so connected as family. We talk sometimes thinking that we would not be friends had we not been related. LOL. We are very different people, but we get along very well. Lots of giggles and an appreciation of food. I attribute our close bond to my MOM.
Mon was such a character. I do have some “scary” memories of her as a child… aka. cutting chicken for dinner with a cleaver… but also some appreciative moments… aka. mediating between me and my dad. I love the photos I am sharing in this blog post. These images do remind me of her… how she looked… and her unassuming playfulness. She would have been totally pissed off to know that I was writing about her on a digital platform if she were still alive. I did a gratitude post of her once on Facebook when she gave me toilet paper, a frying pan, oysters sauce, canned salmon, and Spam. I guess she got a lot of “feedback” from some of my auntie, and I got the riot act. Oof. I did not post anything about her since until she had passed away. My mom was a strong woman. She did a lot for us and after she passed away, I realized kept us all together too. 🙂
So when my sister texts me today to say… “You are very Viving”… it’s a compliment. My mom’s (Canadian) name was Vivien. I love that we name things after her… like “Vi-Guy” (soy sauce chicken stir fry) or “doing the Viv” (furniture re-arranging). It reminds me how my mom made great efforts to ensure that everyone was ok and taken care of. I helped my kid move out (and move into her place), and I got my place (aka. moving into my own place) organized and took stuff out of storage to create my own office. I love my office. I bought golf clubs so that we can do a Par 3 together, and a foam mattress so that my sister can stay over in my new office during her stay (my twin bro prefers the Marriott). I love that I’m Viving… and there is no doubt that I am. I planned the two days that they are here, and taking every step to ensure everything is ready before their arrival.
I’m stoked.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, August 20th, 2026 | Comments Off on Feeling the VIV
Can you believe that summer is almost over? Oh man… I started to write this blog yesterday on the 16th, but here we are on August 17th. I just needed the time to be a person… to rest… and to recalibrate. So… HELLO MONDAY!! I got up early, had breakfast, and finished one task for my course in the fall. Feels great!! I did my physio exercise as my mid-morning break, and now I’m back to my laptop to complete my weekly blog and reflection. Although the intention of this blog post is not about how fast summer is passing me by, I am somewhat alarmed by the idea that summer is passing me by. I had lots of intentions for “my last” (albeit my second) non-teaching term during my time in academia… so that I can get my writing done, I should never underestimate how long it takes to do things, and how easy it is to feel overworked or overwhelmed to realize how much rest plays a role with productivity along with productivity itself. I love to rest!!
Sadly, I’m not the best at resting… but I know that rest plays a role in how I approach my work. I am no longer driven by the hustle, and I love to do work, much like blogging, because it feels good and it’s aligned to who I am and what I would like to do and achieve. I am also cognizant about burnout and not losing myself in the work at the expense of me. That said, I also have to make sure that I don’t take too much on so that I can find a balance between work, play, and rest. Another aspect of my life is my physical well being along with my spiritual and mental wellness. I need to take care of myself. When I was in the hustle, I totally neglected and betrayed myself to get “the job done.” In hindsight, it feels horrible, but also my body over time has taken on the brunt of this neglect. Now, I am at age where everything now is unravelling… and needs addressing.
Over the last handful of months, I’ve been in physio. At one time, I thought my hip bipped out of place after a fall on the ice in February and Thai massage in April. Oh no… it’s a problem that had be accruing over time… a long time, I suspect… and it’s taking a long time to get my hip back. I appreciate the physiotherapy and thank goodness for experts in the field, but it’s taking a lot of time to get myself back. I have daily exercises to do… and then I participated in a pre-diabetes study to learn about what I need to do to get my body back. Damn. I am so far away from where I want/need to be. What I have learned from the physiotherapist and coach at the gym… make small doable goals, be consistent, and take small steps… be patient and persistent. OMG. Habits are so hard to change, but it’s something that needs to be done. I spent many years working on my mental and spiritual health and wellness… now it’s time focus on my physical health.
As you can see in the image above, I’m trying to focus on portion control and a balanced diet. Sadly, it’s my leftovers from the BCNE (northern exhibition) in Prince George. I ate some at the fair, I brought the leftovers home, and there is still another portion in the fridge. I am definitely noticing the “seniors” portioning of my food. I say that, but I am also cognizant of what I am eating and how much I am eating. I am not on a “diet” per se, but I am focused on what I need and my overall nutrition, keeping in mind of being pre-diabetic. Anyway, I am very aware that I don’t need a lot of food and I can still eat what I want to eat… within reason, of course. Anyway, we are not at the the crux of this blog post… being a senior. At the BCNE, I did not go out of my way to see that the ages were for the seniors rate. Although I am close, normally the senior age is out of my reach. When buying my entrance fee to the fair for my and my kid, the vendor asked if it was for two adults. I said yes. My kid go offended that she asked. “Don’t I look like I’m over 18?” I said, “Yes, you do… but I think she was asking to see if I was a senior.” As it turned out… I could have got the senior’s rate at HALF THE PRICE. And for seniors day, one-fifth of the price. UGH. I could not get over it. Money lost. Dang. Next time, I will look.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, August 17th, 2026 | Comments Off on Starting Life Again
What can I say? I’m a little stubborn. I am 100% aware that AI is all around us. You can’t avoid AI. There is autofill on my phone, Google provides an AI overview for your search, and I LOVE AI cat videos on Reels. The only way I could avoid AI is if I was off my phone and laptop. No wait… I have colleagues who use AI. OK. Maybe, I will isolate myself from the people and my devices. Oh boy… not possible. So, how much AI is enough AI? I don’t think that’s the right question. Life is full of choices and not only do I have colleagues who are “pro-AI”… I am also connected to colleagues who are against AI. I think I would lean on the latter. What brought me to this blog post is having to renew some of the products for this WordPress site. I had one notification… then another notification. I just didn’t have the brain space to deal with the notifications and warnings that time is running out. RENEW NOW. Ok… I got it… but how? What’s the problem? I only renew every few years and honestly, I don’t even know if I have the right products to sustain my website. I hired someone more than 10 years ago to design a website for me. It looked a lot better then, and I had the gall to edit and revamp the design and I even lost access to my site when I changed my phone (and regret having to have a 2-step authenticator and not saving anything… LOL). I am so techno-savv. NOT. It’s not two or so weeks later and now I have the “brain space” to even address the notifications to figure out what the hell I need to do to renew my products. Slowly but surely, I think I figured it out… maybe.
I have changed what I needed to change to renew my products and to make my website “safe.” And, by sheer luck, I think that all is good… maybe not luck, but rather an automatic set up that makes everything OK. I am having to do that with some webpage development that I am doing for work too. I’m not a “tech-person,” but rather, I love using tech to do “human-oriented” activities, like writing, reflecting, and creating. Anyway, what I appreciated about this experience was recognizing my level of readiness to deal with the situation, the park the demand until I am ready, and to identify when I am ready and take the time to figure out the problem. I was not driven by the hustle, and I was ready enough to go for it and do my best to get the “job done.” It’s not avoidance, but it’s really about readiness. I do this with emails too. Sometimes I don’t have the cognitive capacity to deal with an email. Park it, wait, and get back to it. Yup. Seems to work.
I’ve had opportunities in my work to use AI to “get the job done” but honestly, I’m not into it. I get that the job will get done, but there is a part of me that wants to learn how to do what AI is doing. As a result, unfortunately, it takes me a lot more time than anticipated to get the job done or sometimes I don’t have time to get to things that I need to get done. Which kinda sucks, but that’s where I am for now. It keeps me human. I don’t claim to be bionic, and I don’t want to rely on tech to get my work (or thinking) done. There is a huge part of me that just wants to learn about it, experience it, and make the mistakes needed to gain a deeper understanding of what I am trying to get done. I gain some great satisfaction from “doing it the hard way.” My mom would always say that about me. I would say, it’s my preference, but understand that AI does creep into my work through tech, colleagues, and other avenues that is “out of my control.” For now, I will keep doing the “hard way” and enjoy the struggle, confusion, and mistakes. 🙂
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, August 07th, 2026 | Comments Off on Technology by Hand
August 1, 2026 – The metaphor is ironic and iconic
I can write about this now because the eggs have hatched and the three baby birds and their momma have left the nest. Soon after, I went to the car dealership and asked the service department to remove the nest. It was situated between the front grate and radiator. Once removed, I am now hiding my car in my garage. My kid has moved out of my townhouse and bought her own town house one building away from mine. So, we are still living in the same strata, but she has her own place. I am so proud of her. She made executive decisions to get her to this point in her life. It’s not to say that she had this exact plan, but she has always been independent and she knows what she wants.
Anyway, as for the momma bird and her babies, I pretty much spent the last four weeks NOT driving my car, thus bumming rides from my kid, borrowing her car, or just staying home. I had mixed feelings about the momma bird. On the one hand, I wanted to “punch her in the face” for disabling my use of my car. On the other hand, I wanted her and her babies to thrive. She choose an excellent location to make her next and have her babies. It’s covered, it’s temperature regulated, and it’s safe from any predators (like myself). She was a smart momma bird and worked very hard to create a comfy place for her babies to rest and grow before leaving the nest. Much like my kid, they have left the nest.
Of course, I had to get the nest removed and find ways for the momma bird (or her babies) to return to my car as a familiar place to build a nest. The kid had to move from my place, so I was 10% anticipating to clean up the garage on moving day so that I could park my car in there. The timing was perfect. My car appointment was on the same day as moving day. I was so grateful for the service department for removing the nest, but also to my kid’s friends who helped move her stuff from my place to her place. They were the “Triple A’s” on the first day, and “Triple A and J” on the second day. The A’s and J were the first initial of their names. They were so efficient and they had fun moving too.
Back and forth they went with their SUV’s. Some items, like the dresser and dining room table, they just carried it to her place. That’s how close she is. LOL. As they moved her stuff out, I took the time to clean up what was left in my place, and my kid was unpacking her stuff at her place. It was a crazy 24-hours, but much like the baby birds, all of sudden, all of her stuff (well, most) was gone and out of my house. OMG. It was my time to move into my house. So weird. The cleaning was horrendous, and then building a few shelves were enduring. I am so physically tired, but I love how now all of MY stuff is spread throughout my place… like it fits. Her bedroom became my office, and I love it.
Writing this blog post is the first “real work” that I have done in my office. Now, I don’t have to go downstairs to take a Zoom call, or work in my bedroom (and sometimes on my bed). I have clear boundaries now in my place for sleep, work, and rest/eating. I love that. I made the move into my house a “spring cleaning” opportunity. My placed needed it. My cat was somewhat bewildered by all of the mess and changes within the home, but I think she has adapted. I love that I have my own place, and I am happy that my kid has her own place too. She is truly out of the nest… with graduation, a new job, and now her own place. Much like the momma bird, I prepped my kid to leave the nest. Woohoo!!
My kid loves her place and I am loving my place too. She did mention that this is the FIRST time that I have lived alone. I had to really think about that. There was one year when I lived in a studio apartment at UBC on campus… but in hindsight, that was a mess. I will make no comment about the details of it except to say that I am going to enjoy living alone and having my independence. I love the silence. I love the view outside my office window. I love sleeping in the middle of my bed wrapped around my cat (who is lying dead-centre of the bed). And, I love my work, my kid, and my friends. This place has served me well in many ways. I cannot complain. I have a lot to be grateful for.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, August 01st, 2026 | Comments Off on Shifting Gears
July 26, 2026 – Learning about myself through others
Yup… of course I’ve shared a photo of tonight’s dinner. It’s a baked sweet potato with ground turkey cooked in taco sauce with cheese, lettuce, sour cream, and homemade salsa. The sweet potato, lettuce, and tomatoes came from the Desert Hills Ranch. This meal was absolutely delicious and satisfying. I love eating fresh food from Desert Hills (it was my first experience), and I love their taco stand in Cache Creek. Absolutely delicious. Anyway, I wanted start of this blog post with a food pic, but really, what I wanted to talk about was my joy and inspiration listening to the biographies of chefs on “Chef’s Table” on Netflix. Also, AMAZING. I love the production, I love the stories, I love the honestly of their struggles and failures, and of course, I love their successes and how they overcame, persisted, and found themselves in their journey. I have been watching and listening to this series as I work in my LazyBoy chair. In fact, I’m watching it right now while I blog.
I started and re-started this blog post with hopes of discussing NORMALIZING FAILURE, but when I watch these documentaries, failure is part of the journey. These chefs took big risks, failed along the way, and eventually found their way. The journey is not meant to be easy. I can see that, if you want to do what you want to do. And I love what this person just said as I am writing this post… “I just got to be me.” Hello? I could not agree more. This chef is also Asian, and she described her struggles with her parents, her self-doubts, and struggles with racism. I get it. You need to be who you are to thrive. It takes time to figure out who you are, and to live this authentic life, you need to not only be honest to yourself and your family. I can really relate to this. I was reminded when I quit my teaching job in K-12. It was one of the toughest things I had to do in my life. Not just making the decision to resign, but telling my family of this decision was difficult.
I love this current episode… she is finding herself… her confidence and voice are so inspiring and I’m captured. She is standing up to herself and she has now accepted herself… and to pursue and do what she loves and who she is. She said, “F___ FEAR!!” Love it. I understand that. “All of my life, I was listening to other voices”… I can relate to this. Once she found herself, she won an award for her work. This story is much like the others shared on Chef’s Table. I just love how these people found themselves in food and their craft. Don’t get me wrong, I am not planning to become a chef, but I will continue with taking selfies and food pics. That’s just who I am. I love teaching and learning, and research is one way to share about what I have learned, to collaborate with others, and learn more about my craft and do what I love to do. The intersection between teaching, learning, and leading is at the heart of what I do and love to do. The Scholarship of Teaching and Action Research are vehicles or pathways for me to move forward and thrive as a research-practitioner. Thank you Chef’s Table. You have inspired me!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, July 26th, 2026 | Comments Off on Watching Chef’s Table
Oh my goodness… I have so much gratitude. I start this blog reflection, sitting at my desk at home, on a sunny day, and the warm breeze seeps through my window onto my face. Can it get any better than this? I also love that I choose to maintain a reflective practice via blogging and my portfolio. Often, I would refer back to my websites to see what I have done to update my CV, but also track my thinking and ways of being as I move forward in this pedagogical journey I am on. I am learning so much, and I am grateful for the mentors, friends, and family along the way who have been part of this journey, and I am excited for new people who I will meet along this path. Admittedly, the journey has some dips, some rough patches, and well… FAILURES… of which you learn and grow from. There are also successes, wins, and JOY!! Thank goodness. 🙂
Of course, I had to add an image of my updated Bitmoji to this blog post. I took the time to revise my digital image for the fall term, but also, I got my hair cut, I’m wearing Crocs, and the outfit includes a hoodie. Can this get any closer to who I really am in cartoon form (without using gen AI). I updated my Bitmoji while my kid was at a meeting and I’m sitting in the waiting room. Fun, right? Anyway, I love that these images, like Bitmoji, are more reflective of who I am and how I feel. This journey of self-discovery or self-actualization has been a long one, and I am feeling much more comfortable of who I am and what I have to offer to the world. It feels great, and somewhat rewarding to move through the world as who I am, and not what I think that people want me to be. This pedagogical journey started in 2010 when my world literally took a left turn. Ever since, I’ve been peeling back the layers of who I am or who I thought I should be to discover who I really am, what I love to do, and why it’s important to me. I am feeling grounded.
“You don’t know what you don’t know… until you know.”
I said this statement above at a recent meeting in context to mentoring, asking questions, and feeling informed. How can one navigate a new way of being, a new place, or a new orientation when you don’t know what you don’t know, and thus know what or whom to ask. I have also learned recently, and in a hard way, the only person who cares about your life or career is YOU, so don’t depend on others to get to where you want to be. It’s all up to you. Finally, at at doctoral oral defence, one of the committee members read part of a poem that spoke about the unknown, knowledge, and the journey. Basically, you can run to the edge of the pier to realize that there is a large body of water still in front of you. The poem passage was a lot more eloquent, but the imagery of that was definitely impressionable. I love that though. Looking back, being the youngest of three, I was always taken care of. Now, I feel very grateful for that. However, I did forage forward in FEAR… fear of the unknown… fear of failure… fear of success… fear of not belonging. The last one is a doozy, so I navigated through life doing what I thought others thought I should do and disregarded my wants, needs, and intuition. I did not belong to me.
But, now I know. You’re not going to know what’s out there, but you have to try and find what works best for you. Rejection is only feedback to say… hey, not this way. I’m good with that. For a long time, I tried to compromise and cater who I am so that I could be accepted by others. Let me tell you… that’s not sustainable. What’s sustainable is being ok with yourself, accepting yourself, and belonging to yourself. Do good work, do what you love, and love what you do. Although I did not think I would ever do what I get to do, I am doing what I want to do… and this is only the beginning. Understanding this limitless and unforeseen opportunities make me hopeful and optimistic. I am worthy. I have value. And, I love what I do. That’s all that matters. I often wonder about the paths we take, the decisions we make, and what we learn from these experiences. My friend calls it karma. It’s hard to believe that I am making decision as I blog and it will impact what will happen to me in the future. That kind of freaks me out, but on the other hand, if I am aligned and authentic, all should be good. Now, I am in a solid place of HAPPY. I am slowly but surely working on my physical self and enjoying the process, but mentally and spiritually, I am on track. My mantra has been of late is… “one step at a time.”
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, July 17th, 2026 | Comments Off on Feeling Joyful about the Work
Wow. My head was down for a few weeks… and it’s been a hot minute since I have blogged and engaged in reflection. It’s been a hot minute and when everything happens, it seems to happen all at once. I had to make a deliberate decision to take a rest this weekend. Even returning to the blog took some intentionality. I started this blog on Friday, thought I would write this blog on Saturday, and here we are on at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon getting to this reflection. One of my criteria for blogging is feeling good about blogging. Right now is the right time. I love listening to and watching Chef’s Table on Netflix and slowly but surely, I’m grounding myself in preparation for next week.
Gosh. Where to start. So much has happened since my last blog post on June 19,2026. I almost feel that I might have a list of things that I’ve done, but overall, what’s been working in my favour is FINDING THE JOY IN THE EVERYDAY. Things that happened in the last month: (1) completing a contract with another institution and doing the best I can despite the circumstances; (2) rewriting a chapter submission, of which totally took a left turn and “rigour” was had; (3) presented at an international network session and made a few new contacts; (4) organized and facilitated the School of Education Retreat; (5) attended a conference on deeper learning and (re)connected with many likeminded folks; (6) reviewed a dissertation as an external examiner and provided formative feedback; (7) reviewed a master’s thesis as committee member and pleased with its transformation; and (8) collaborating with a former colleague to co-write a chapter.
I’ve been working on some other projects… one I am leading, one I am a member of, and anther of which a play more of a supportive role. Other things on the personal side includes participating the Relay for Life (that my daughter was one of the directors co-leading the event), going to physio to work on my hip, and being a part of a study focused on pre-diabetes. Oh… and my kid will make me an empty-nester soon, so there is a tonne of stuff there related to supporting her but transitioning to be living on my own (as an empty nester). It’s a big deal. Some highlights over the last month: (1) meeting a professor from Oxford University who was super supportive of a project I am leading; (2) meeting some incredible students who modelled and taught me more about student agency; and (3) my friend driving me up and down to a conference and we went to the taco stand in Cache Creek where I found my people, place, and food. All good things.
One lesson that one person who has been always a teacher or guide for me… over the last years in Prince George… and he has taught me a valuable lesson about the myths or false narratives that are not true, they are lies that we create in our minds, and they do not serve me. It happened THAT DAY when we had talked. I was humiliated and humbled at the same time… all my doing… but damn, it was/is a lesson I needed to learn. I was shocked by the lesson. Cognitively, it made sense, but when you catch yourself doing it, you have to call a spade, a spade. I could not believe how often I do it and how it’s so important to be authentic and true to oneself, so that you can live in the energy and integrity that you are meant to live in. This way of being takes lots of trust, vulnerability, and humility. Oh man… I am learning. What I am learning is, you have to do what makes you happy and brings you joy. Be true to yourself, be kind, and love life as it comes.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, July 12th, 2026 | Comments Off on Finding Joy in the Everyday
I will say, imposter syndrome is REAL. Understanding my worth is CHALLENGING. And, being ok with rejection is NORMAL. Wow. It has taken me a load of time to figure this out, but I guess that is the journey. I am sitting here on a Friday night, looking out my window and watching a thunder and lightning storm. The metaphor did not escape me. Big changes are a happening, and it’s taken me a long time to accept who I am, love who I am, and love the work that I do. I guess I am going to cite Brené Brown again to say that “I am enough.” I do remember the words of my supervisor saying, “we don’t give out doctorates to anybody… you’ve earned it.” (PS. may not be the exact words, but it’s close).
I remember that it took me a year to tell people I was a doctoral candidate (which meant passing the comprehensive exams), many years to complete my dissertation (because I kept spiralling in the research problem without making much progress until I quit my job, became a school trustee, and realized that my job as a doctoral student and researcher was to answer the research question.). Once all the pieces seemed to make sense (as I struggled with my identity, my value within the profession, and what to do next in my professional career), I completed my research. At that time, I was a sessional instructor (commuting from the Sunshine Coast), I was a two-term school trustee, and my mom was dying (I needed to take care of her).
What can I say? Life was turbulent to say the least, and my sense of self was at an all time low. It’s hard to hear things like, “hey, do you want to publish your dissertation?” from your supervisor. I had no idea what he was talking about. He offered to help and to be a co-author (many, many years ago), and I said, “sure.” I had no clue what this meant or involved. He took the time to reduce my dissertation down to a word-count less than 10,000. He managed to do it, and added his flair to the manuscript to to bring some of the ideas together in its condensed form. Now what? It did take some time to get the manuscript completed, but once it was in my hands to review and submit, I was lost again. What was I suppose to do with this document? Where does it go? Academia is very much what my dissertation was about… being out-of-field, learning-by-doing, and experiential learning. I did submit it to one place, but the editor quickly returned the manuscript to me saying that they did not like the convenience sampling approach and that it needed a literature review. I can say that now, but what I internalized then was, this work is garbage and you can’t read or write. Sounds extreme, I know, but that was the headspace I was in. It was not good, so formative feedback was difficult to receive.
Time lapsed. I could not fathom submitting this work to another journal. First, it was a long manuscript. Most journals accept 5000-7000 words. I’ve attempted to shorten the manuscript and edit it, but I could never get passed the first page. I was so devastated by the editor’s reply that I could not even think about subjecting my work to anyone, despite the blood, sweat, and tears incurred by both myself and my supervisor. I did not have the strength, confidence, or heart to do it. I just wanted to keep the work to myself. So, what did I do? Pursued academia and engage in studies that had NOTHING to do with my doctoral research. OMG. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. I loved returning back to teaching, and I love learning about research. I am really enjoying working with others on some research projects, and I am getting some publications out that are aligned to teaching and learning. Lots of what I am doing at the university through teaching, research, and service are related to what I love, but none of it is directly correlated to my doctoral research. CRAZY. Until one day, I went back to that manuscript and realized that my supervisor referred to the literature review in the discussion as a strategy to reduce words, and my student did engage in a form of convenience sampling.
HELLO? I’m not a bad person.
Other life events have happened since then, like ending my marriage, moving to a new place, becoming a full-time single parent, navigating the academia world (and not really doing a good job at it), buy a new place, a new car, a new way of being. Why not through a pandemic in there as well as a strike (that was a turbulent year). The brighter side, my kid just graduated from university and working a full-time job, I am a cat-mom, and I love teaching and learning about math and math education. Ah yes… back to my OG love. I get super stoked attending professional development sessions about math education, and I have opportunities to put my doctoral work into practice. I’m not sure if this is serendipity or that I was always meant to. It’s been an incredible journey to get to where I am today, and YES… I submitted that manuscript to a different journal, that accepted up to 10,000 words, and I feel 1000-times better about this work and realizing that the research is still relevant. I want to do a replication study. This work is interesting to me, and I feel like I’m coming home… in a good way… and it feels GREAT. I have overcome my fears. And, even though I have another chapter, and another chapter to write (with timelines), I needed to take today to submit that manuscript, regardless of outcome.
I feel good. I am not hung up on the outcome, or the feedback. Everything is formative, and I really understand that. It’s taken many learning experiences to get to where I am with this mindset. Not only did coach teacher candidates this understanding in their upcoming and recent publication as a conference proceeding, but also to graduate students I am mentoring and supporting in other ways and roles. But now, I get it. I really understand who I am, my doctoral work, and MY WHY (of which I wrote in my last blog post). This ALIGNMENT has been something that I have always been striving for, and now I see it, I can feel it, and I know it. I feel that the floodgate has opened and now the water can rush through. I want to use the metaphor of a salmon swimming up stream, but my arrival is not my death, but rather the opportunity to lay eggs and spawn birth to new ideas and possibilities. I had to write this blog post soon after I sent my manuscript, co-authored with my supervisor. I know that we are colleagues, but he will always be my supervisor. For that, I am very appreciative. Onwards and upwards… to the next chapter!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 19th, 2026 | Comments Off on Overcoming My Fears
Does it feel like fall again? It’s starting to look that way. I’ve been thinking about these #patiopics that I take and post onto X (formally known as Twitter). I started posting a daily #patiopic during the pandemic when I was trapped, in isolation, in my one bedroom apartment in Prince George. Admittedly, that time was somewhat grim and lonely, but it was also a good time for reflection, self-care, and humour. Posting a daily #patiopic entertained me during that time and it has not stopped since. I’ve tried to terminate the daily post, but then I would bump into somebody and they would either give me a suggestion for the post (i.e., during travel), introduce themselves to me because they know me from my patio pics, or pay a compliment to me and my patio pics. As a result, I would re-start again. No complaints. It’s been 6 years and it’s still fun.
What can I say? I’m a little stubborn. I am 100% aware that AI is all around us. You can’t avoid AI. There is autofill on my phone, Google provides an AI overview for your search, and I LOVE AI cat videos on Reels. The only way I could avoid AI is if I was off my phone and laptop. No wait… I have colleagues who use AI. OK. Maybe, I will isolate myself from the people and my devices. Oh boy… not possible. So, how much AI is enough AI? I don’t think that’s the right question. Life is full of choices and not only do I have colleagues who are “pro-AI”… I am also connected to colleagues who are against AI. I think I would lean on the latter. What brought me to this blog post is having to renew some of the products for this WordPress site. I had one notification… then another notification. I just didn’t have the brain space to deal with the notifications and warnings that time is running out. RENEW NOW. Ok… I got it… but how? What’s the problem? I only renew every few years and honestly, I don’t even know if I have the right products to sustain my website. I hired someone more than 10 years ago to design a website for me. It looked a lot better then, and I had the gall to edit and revamp the design and I even lost access to my site when I changed my phone (and regret having to have a 2-step authenticator and not saving anything… LOL). I am so techno-savv. NOT. It’s not two or so weeks later and now I have the “brain space” to even address the notifications to figure out what the hell I need to do to renew my products. Slowly but surely, I think I figured it out… maybe.
Oh my goodness… I have so much gratitude. I start this blog reflection, sitting at my desk at home, on a sunny day, and the warm breeze seeps through my window onto my face. Can it get any better than this? I also love that I choose to maintain a reflective practice via blogging and my portfolio. Often, I would refer back to my websites to see what I have done to update my CV, but also track my thinking and ways of being as I move forward in this pedagogical journey I am on. I am learning so much, and I am grateful for the mentors, friends, and family along the way who have been part of this journey, and I am excited for new people who I will meet along this path. Admittedly, the journey has some dips, some rough patches, and well… FAILURES… of which you learn and grow from. There are also successes, wins, and JOY!! Thank goodness. 🙂
I will say, imposter syndrome is REAL. Understanding my worth is CHALLENGING. And, being ok with rejection is NORMAL. Wow. It has taken me a load of time to figure this out, but I guess that is the journey. I am sitting here on a Friday night, looking out my window and watching a thunder and lightning storm. The metaphor did not escape me. Big changes are a happening, and it’s taken me a long time to accept who I am, love who I am, and love the work that I do. I guess I am going to cite Brené Brown again to say that “I am enough.” I do remember the words of my supervisor saying, “we don’t give out doctorates to anybody… you’ve earned it.” (PS. may not be the exact words, but it’s close).