I will say, imposter syndrome is REAL. Understanding my worth is CHALLENGING. And, being ok with rejection is NORMAL. Wow. It has taken me a load of time to figure this out, but I guess that is the journey. I am sitting here on a Friday night, looking out my window and watching a thunder and lightning storm. The metaphor did not escape me. Big changes are a happening, and it’s taken me a long time to accept who I am, love who I am, and love the work that I do. I guess I am going to cite Brené Brown again to say that “I am enough.” I do remember the words of my supervisor saying, “we don’t give out doctorates to anybody… you’ve earned it.” (PS. may not be the exact words, but it’s close).
I remember that it took me a year to tell people I was a doctoral candidate (which meant passing the comprehensive exams), many years to complete my dissertation (because I kept spiralling in the research problem without making much progress until I quit my job, became a school trustee, and realized that my job as a doctoral student and researcher was to answer the research question.). Once all the pieces seemed to make sense (as I struggled with my identity, my value within the profession, and what to do next in my professional career), I completed my research. At that time, I was a sessional instructor (commuting from the Sunshine Coast), I was a two-term school trustee, and my mom was dying (I needed to take care of her).
What can I say? Life was turbulent to say the least, and my sense of self was at an all time low. It’s hard to hear things like, “hey, do you want to publish your dissertation?” from your supervisor. I had no idea what he was talking about. He offered to help and to be a co-author (many, many years ago), and I said, “sure.” I had no clue what this meant or involved. He took the time to reduce my dissertation down to a word-count less than 10,000. He managed to do it, and added his flair to the manuscript to to bring some of the ideas together in its condensed form. Now what? It did take some time to get the manuscript completed, but once it was in my hands to review and submit, I was lost again. What was I suppose to do with this document? Where does it go? Academia is very much what my dissertation was about… being out-of-field, learning-by-doing, and experiential learning. I did submit it to one place, but the editor quickly returned the manuscript to me saying that they did not like the convenience sampling approach and that it needed a literature review. I can say that now, but what I internalized then was, this work is garbage and you can’t read or write. Sounds extreme, I know, but that was the headspace I was in. It was not good, so formative feedback was difficult to receive.
Time lapsed. I could not fathom submitting this work to another journal. First, it was a long manuscript. Most journals accept 5000-7000 words. I’ve attempted to shorten the manuscript and edit it, but I could never get passed the first page. I was so devastated by the editor’s reply that I could not even think about subjecting my work to anyone, despite the blood, sweat, and tears incurred by both myself and my supervisor. I did not have the strength, confidence, or heart to do it. I just wanted to keep the work to myself. So, what did I do? Pursued academia and engage in studies that had NOTHING to do with my doctoral research. OMG. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. I loved returning back to teaching, and I love learning about research. I am really enjoying working with others on some research projects, and I am getting some publications out that are aligned to teaching and learning. Lots of what I am doing at the university through teaching, research, and service are related to what I love, but none of it is directly correlated to my doctoral research. CRAZY. Until one day, I went back to that manuscript and realized that my supervisor referred to the literature review in the discussion as a strategy to reduce words, and my student did engage in a form of convenience sampling.
HELLO? I’m not a bad person.
Other life events have happened since then, like ending my marriage, moving to a new place, becoming a full-time single parent, navigating the academia world (and not really doing a good job at it), buy a new place, a new car, a new way of being. Why not through a pandemic in there as well as a strike (that was a turbulent year). The brighter side, my kid just graduated from university and working a full-time job, I am a cat-mom, and I love teaching and learning about math and math education. Ah yes… back to my OG love. I get super stoked attending professional development sessions about math education, and I have opportunities to put my doctoral work into practice. I’m not sure if this is serendipity or that I was always meant to. It’s been an incredible journey to get to where I am today, and YES… I submitted that manuscript to a different journal, that accepted up to 10,000 words, and I feel 1000-times better about this work and realizing that the research is still relevant. I want to do a replication study. This work is interesting to me, and I feel like I’m coming home… in a good way… and it feels GREAT. I have overcome my fears. And, even though I have another chapter, and another chapter to write (with timelines), I needed to take today to submit that manuscript, regardless of outcome.
I feel good. I am not hung up on the outcome, or the feedback. Everything is formative, and I really understand that. It’s taken many learning experiences to get to where I am with this mindset. Not only did coach teacher candidates this understanding in their upcoming and recent publication as a conference proceeding, but also to graduate students I am mentoring and supporting in other ways and roles. But now, I get it. I really understand who I am, my doctoral work, and MY WHY (of which I wrote in my last blog post). This ALIGNMENT has been something that I have always been striving for, and now I see it, I can feel it, and I know it. I feel that the floodgate has opened and now the water can rush through. I want to use the metaphor of a salmon swimming up stream, but my arrival is not my death, but rather the opportunity to lay eggs and spawn birth to new ideas and possibilities. I had to write this blog post soon after I sent my manuscript, co-authored with my supervisor. I know that we are colleagues, but he will always be my supervisor. For that, I am very appreciative. Onwards and upwards… to the next chapter!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 19th, 2026 | No Comments »
June 18, 2026 – Trying to Catch Up on My Reflections
There was one thing that I loved so much when I was teaching in K-12… many decades ago… it was PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. I loved going to different conferences, I loved learning new things and ideas, and I loved being the Professional Development Representative for our school. And now, I love presenting at conferences, I love attending conferences, and I love connecting and reconnecting with people at these conferences. I just LOVE conferences and professional learning. There is no surprise that my dissertation centred around professional learning, as well did my major papers during my masters program as well. I never thought that I was a “good learner,” but rather, now that I’m thinking about it, I was “not a good student.” Wait a minute, let me unpack that…
I love chatting with my brother and sister who both reminisce about high school and how both of them went to the Mayor’s Lunch. I had no idea that they went to the “Mayor’s Lunch.” I was very aware that my twin-bro won lots of awards, at least a contender for many of them when we were in high school. I’d consider him to be one of the top three students in my graduating class. I knew that my sister loved high school (but she also likes going to the dentist too). Anyway, they were so good at school, that they got to go eat lunch with the mayor. I never done that, nor knew that was even a thing until I was in my 50’s. That is so sad, but also, not surprising. Why would I know about the mayor’s lunch. I think I was above average, at best. I was a solid “B+” student in high school.
I did not find school particularly easy, or interesting. In hindsight, I should have stayed in my typing class, continued with band, and maybe follow through on the Calculus 12 course. I think if I had stayed in all three courses, I could have been on a different trajectory. I did stay focussed on curling, and committed to the sport until the end of grade 12 when my team won the Alcan High School Provincials, and runner-up in the BC Provincials. That was a pretty good year. Reading and writing were not my strength, and as you can see, I kept on pursuing things that I was not very good at… for some strange reason. And, I stepped away from things that I thought I was not good at, caved into my ego’s needs, and quit. Hmm… this finding is very insightful. How can I stay the course?
Fast forward to present time, or at least the last decade, life has underwent much transformation. Call it the midlife-unravelling (named by Dr. Brené Brown), or turning a new page to a new chapter series… LOL. Whatever it was, I needed to undergo these changes to be where I am today. I am currently writing 2 chapters. I never thought there would be a day that I would be saying that, but one I am procrastinating, as the final submission responding to revisions is due in a couple of weeks, and the other needs to be written by the end of summer. This pat-on-the-back is not listing out other major tasks such as organizing the program annual retreat, writing an overdue book review, and acting as an external examiner for a dissertation. Again, these are all good things.
I’m still overwhelmed with some other work that needs to get done in the meantime and the house is mess. Right in the middle of composing the blog post, I had to take a pause and clean the hallway, of which my daughter consumes, do her laundry because I have to for my own peace of mind, and vacuum the floors that needed it months ago. Ahhh… just those little things (aka., huge tasks) frees my mind to really enjoy things like writing and professional development. I loved how I heard on one podcast where the guest said, RESEARCH IS ME-SEARCH. I think I heard that before, but it reminded me that this work that I am doing is also about self-discovery and understanding. One co-author I am working with reminded me that I LOVE PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. She ain’t wrong.
Strangely, I never considered myself curious, but lately, folks around me are describing me in that way. Huh. I guess I am. You know that I am in the midst of turning a page onto a new chapter because I do feel a level of liberation. I’m not sure if it’s because my daughter has graduated from university and is now working as a full-time nurse, or that I’m engaged in physio and paying more attention to my physical self, or if it’s because I said no to applying for promotion because I know that I am not ready yet. All of these acts are powerful and also play a role in my professional learning. Self-knowledge, according to Parker Palmer, is an important component to good teaching along with knowledge of the subject matter and knowledge of the learners in the classroom.
I had such a good time at the University of Winnipeg at CSSE (Canadian Society for the Study of Education) Conference 2026 . I presented twice for CATE (Canadian Association for Teacher Education), and I was the Program Manager for CAARE (Canadian Association for Action Research in Education). It was a good balance between presenting, connecting, and organizing. I had a tonne of fun in Winnipeg. I was so glad that I went there a few months ago for WestCAST 2026 with a few teacher candidates. We really explored the city then. This time, I was focused on the conference, being with good people, and enjoying my time learning from others. I did walk away from the conference feeling like ACTION RESEARCH is m JAM. That’s exciting too. I can’t wait for the next conference.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 18th, 2026 | No Comments »
UNBC School of Nursing Pinning Ceremony 2026 – May 30 – Northern Sports Centre
June 4, 2026 – Feeling Lucky to have this PIC
Oh my goodness… The last week has been a whirlwind and finally, I have a moment to reflect, wonder, and appreciate my kid’s achievements. THE KID graduated from the University of Northern British Columbia in the School of Nursing, and she received her Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BScN) on May 29th on her birthday. You could not have written a better story. I loved that Zoe was highlighted in the interim President’s speech, and she was warmly received by her friend, Chancellor, interim President, Dean, and Chair as she crossed the stage. What an exciting moment for her, and I was so grateful to be front stage as faculty member witnessing this achievement. My kid has overcame so much over the last handful of years, and she is becoming the person she is meant to be.
There is nothing more that I can say about this kid, except for “I am so proud.” This kid is seems to know no bounds and I cannot believe that she has finished the UNBC Nursing Program and starting full-time work in the next week… in addition to a few other jobs relating to research and nursing. Who would have thought? I just love all of the service work that she does. The kid takes after her mom in lots of ways… but 10-fold. She just does a lot better than I have ever done, in 10-fold. It’s amazing… and I want that for her. I remember when she was learning how to swim. She loves the water ever since she was born. I put her into swimming lessons when she was only a little bub. When she turned 10-years old, she finished all of the swimming levels, then when she was old enough, finished her bronze medallion and bronze cross, and worked as a lifeguard for several years before graduating high school. AMAZING!! (PS. I don’t know how to swim).
I am not trying to downplay my achievements, but THE KID has created dreams and goals that are set by her. I’m here to support, guide, and encourage, but all of her accomplishments are hers. She was the vice-president of the UNBC Pre-Med Club and President of the UNBC Stem Cell Club. It’s not the roles that mattered, but the work she had accomplished for these clubs in these roles. She fundraised for both clubs, organized gatherings and talks with folks in the medical field, and rallied in many ways to promote and gather swabs for stem cell. I only have a sense of the kind of work she has manifested, and there’s more… She co-led the inaugural Prince Hoops with her boyfriend that hosted 14 3-on-3 basketball teams, and the event was sponsored by many community organizations and companies. And, she is also one of the directors of the Run for Life in Prince George, an initiative started by a group of her peers who wanted to bring this event back to the community which is happening at the end of this month.
I have attached one of many news articles she is a part of. She’s been interviewed by the local newspapers, local news on TV, and UNBC Communications promoting the good work she is engaged in (as mentioned above). She also takes the time to promote these initiatives on social media as well. What I like about all this is, not only she is doing the good work, she also prefers not being the centre of attention. She lifts other people up, to be at the centre, and fostering their leadership. I appreciate that about THE KID as a leadership, action research scholar. She is making a difference, and one metric of leadership is the number of leaders you leave behind. Now graduated and leaving the university to pursue her career in health, she has mentored many competent student leaders that she leaves behind at UNBC. What a gift to the two clubs and university.
As you can see, I am super humbled and proud of this kid. She works hard, and plays hard. I loved having the last 5-years with her. She moved to Prince George to be with me, and I would not have it any other way. Not only am I excited about her next steps in life, I am confident that she will do whatever she is doing to the best of her abilities, and 10-fold beyond my expectations. Congratulations KID. Enjoy. You can do anything. Love you!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 04th, 2026 | Comments Off on The Kid is Growing Up
I started this blog post at the start of my day… and now, it’s the end of the day. Classic. I got motivated, then distracted. I say that, but there are so many things on the go, everything seems like they have to be done at once. Ironically, multitasking is a myth and today is Saturday. It’s “be a person day.” So, I can move along my day without any guilt. What will happen, will happen. If anything, I am so grateful that I got my recycling done today. Recycling has become a ritual on Saturdays. I live in a townhouse complex where we don’t get garbage pick up, or recycling. Honestly, I don’t mind. I took out the garbage when I needed to when I lived at the apartment, and had to go to the recycling depot then. And now, I’m still doing the same thing. I don’t mind. I kind of like it. Maybe it’s the routine. Maybe it’s the sorting. If anything, I feel a lot of satisfaction when my recycling bins are empty. I am also feeling a lot of joy sitting at my office desk in my bedroom that looks out the window. I love that it’s 10pm and there is still some light outside… almost like the sunset… lingering. It’s just beautiful. There are some clouds, some blue sky, and hints of orange too. It makes me so grateful to be where I am… and to be alive.
Wow. This blog post is taking an existential direction. I am filled with a lot of joy and gratitude. My kid is graduating from the School of Nursing with her BSN next week. Next week, she is also turning 23-years old. DAMN. Where does the time go? She’s a grown adult, and I am so grateful that we spent the last 5-years together in Prince George being roomies. I know that I’m her mom, but I feel that we had the opportunity to grow up together, be together, and support one another. I feel very lucky that I got to be with her during these formative years. She has accomplished so much, and by living together, I can support her with living expenses, schooling, and anything else she needs. I feel so fortunate that I could have supported her in this way. Otherwise, I don’t think we could have had the quality of life we had if she had lived and went to school somewhere else. Honestly, I am filled with gratitude. I mean hey, the photo above is a picture of guacamole from Earls. I needed to slow down my work week and end it with a good meal. With one text and invite, we are having dinner together. I love that. It’s a chance to connect with her, but also to wind down with her, a yummy dinner, and ice cream.
It’s been a busy week, much like the last few weeks, and I was reminded the other day when folks were coming over for a work meeting and dinner, that my mom would often say to me, “you always have to learn the hard way.” I get what she means. I am an experiential learner. I just can’t use common sense or reason to understand something about myself, others, or the environment… I have to experience it… maybe a few times over, before I really get something. Moreover, I am the worst risk-taker. I thought I was a risk-taker, or at least I wanted to be one, but really, my steps forward are tentative at best, and I am better walking forward with someone than alone. That’s something good to know and learn about myself, but damn, it can be very frustrating too. I can get caught in my own mind, overthink, and do nothing. That’s not fun. I had another aha this week when thinking about the fall and planning my courses. I was thinking about who could guest speak in my class, and the flow of the course. I realized that I choose the person or persons. The people I want to work with me and in my classroom are folks I have a relationship with, of whom I have a high regard for, and who are aligned to my thinking.
Whoa… can you believe it? I AM RELATIONAL. My leadership style is relational, transformative, and service-oriented. I don’t know why this is a surprise to me… but it is. However, if I look at my actions and think about what brings me joy in my work and personal life, that pretty much sums it up. I love service, I love people, and I love seeking or challenging people to take action. So, of course, I’m going to ask my kid to go out for dinner on a Friday night after a long day and week of work. Of course, I am going to order the food I love that makes me happy. And of course, we are going to end a yummy dinner by going to the local ice cream shop by the bowling alley to buy some “made in BC” ice cream from a young guy and support this local business. The ice cream is really good, and my kid likes it. Why not? We then went to Shopper Drug Mart to maximize on the points, then go home to rest and be with my cat. I can’t ask for anything more. What I do know is, my joy is in doing, trying things out, and making mistakes… but with people I trust and respect. I’ve been information gathering, wondering what my next steps might be. What I have realized, I am doing exactly what I need to be doing. Now that’s joy.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 23rd, 2026 | Comments Off on Finding My Joy in Doing
I cannot believe that it’s already been a week since I was in Toronto visiting with relatives on my mom’s side of the family. It was my aunt’s 80th birthday and with sheer grit and will power, my aunt and planning committee of cousins (that included my twin bro) organized a weekend event in Toronto. One of the highlights of the reunion was my nephew’s camera. It was pretty cool what kind of photos it could take, so here are a couple of them with a few members of my family. This first photo of us in a circle was taken at the University of Toronto visit a memorial bench that honours the memory of my grandmother and grand father. The second photo below is all of us who went to the reunion visiting and paying respect to my grandparents at the cemetery. My grandparents from my dad’s side are also buried near by, so we went there as a little family to pay our respects as well. I was so heartened that many of my aunts and uncles from my mom’s side also came over to pay their respects. What I did not realize is that our families were connected because of my parent’s marriage and one of my aunts on my mom’s side went to school with my uncle on my dad’s side, and she also knew another one of my aunts as well. That was so cool to learn. What was even more exciting was reconnecting and connecting with cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews. Many of them I did not see since my mother had passed away in 2018. Most I have not seen in decades. While others were brand new to me, and I was meeting them for the first time. There is something magical about families. Because you are family, you are just going to connect and get to know each other. It was a wonderful 3-days. Lots of memories.
The Chik-family reunion started with a get-to-know you session at my aunt’s condo in the multipurpose room. We wore name tags, there were games, food testing, gift exchange, slideshow, and food to eat. Although I was admittedly apprehensive of a 4.5-hour event, the time flew by. The event ended with my artist-aunt sharing a big image of a tree blossoming to my birthday-aunt, and there were smaller prints that were framed for each of us to take home. What a present!! In the image is a stamp with our Chinese name, and the image is titled, “To plant. To grow. To blossom.” So beautiful… I am looking at it on my window sill (a temporary location) as I write this blog post. Later that night, we went to the Pearl Restaurant, which is close to my birthday-aunt’s place. We had a 10-course Chinese meal. It was absolutely delicious. It’s be awhile since I had peking duck and a full formal Chinese dinner. We had 3 large round tables for our group, and a gorgeous view of Lake Ontario. The next day, we went to the cemetery in the morning, my little Ho-family went back to city centre to have Shake Shack for lunch, and then we all reunited at the CN Tower for dinner. Wow!! What an amazing experience. Very memorable. Beautiful views of the city. And, it was stormy that day… so depending on where the storm was or direction we were facing, sometimes we had sun, clouds, and everything in between. After dinner, we went to the observation deck as well. The CN Tower is a MUST DO in Toronto. Finally, on day 3, we concluded with dim sum and professional photos at the Pearl again. Another AMAZING meal!! Many flew out that day after dim sum. We also got a CN Tower glow-in-the-dark coin and personalized travel tags with our Chik-name on it.
The Chik-family reunion was amazing and I am so grateful that we had this moment to connect and reconnect. In lots of ways, we have not changed. One of my aunts said that I am still the same. Hmm… disturbing, yet reassuring. Thank you to the organizing team and my cousins, birthday-aunt, nephews, and everyone who came to Toronto to make this event possible. My heart is full, and I was so grateful to spend time with my little Ho-family as well. My kid and her boyfriend took me out for Mother’s Day dinner on our final night in Toronto. Miku would have been fabulous, but they were completely booked. Instead, we had Italian food, and the meatballs were delicious. I also want to say a big thank you for my roomie for the 4 days… my big sis… and to my twin bro for all of the points he collects from the Marriott and Air Canada that heavily subsidized the hotel and flights to Toronto. For some reason, all the parts fit, and I could briefly step away from my work and enjoy the company of my family. I had so much fun. Kudos to the Chik-family!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 16th, 2026 | Comments Off on Family and Feeling Grateful
It took me some time to condition myself to NOT work 7-days a week and around the clock and reprogram myself to take Saturdays as “be a person day” and to go to bed at a reasonable hour. It helped to have an almost burnout situation almost two-years ago and adopting a cat when I moved into my townhouse. Yesterday was a pleasant reminder that “be a person day” is so essential for me to REST and recalibrate for the upcoming work week. I’ll admit, it took some time to get myself to NOT work, guilt-free on Saturdays, but also setting and creating boundaries so that it does not bleed into other days of the week. Because I am not working everyday of the week, and around the clock, I have to be mindful of what I can and cannot do, make the most of each work day, and self-care is not selfish. Yesterday, the kid and I end the day with ice cream at Ice Cream Express. It’s a seasonal, small business run by one ‘very active’ young man. We both got a kid-sized ice cream, and it was HUGE. The one-scoop and two-scoop options are equally generous. I got burgundy cherry, and it was delicious. I just needed to slow down I was so wound up over the weeks with still a tonne to do, the messiness of changing one’s habits is a given so forgiveness is also part of the process. It’s Sunday morning and I feel good. I feel renewed. During the week, I was putting myself aside because I’ve been overwhelmed or overworked. I can’t do that anymore. I’m important. This self-love has been incredibly challenging to achieve, but in doing so, I can make better choices for myself and my work. I’m not getting any younger, and I am realizing that life, my wellness, and my health cannot be taken for granted. I feel that I need to take hold of my life… almost for the first time. I feel more rested and empowered. YAY!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 03rd, 2026 | Comments Off on Be a Person Day
In this photo, my kid and I went to get pho. She had soup, and I had this prawn and roll platter. It was absolutely delicious and a huge portion. This meal has held me for 3 meals. I enjoyed every bite, and thank goodness for air fryers. What was life like before the air fryer. This appliance is the MOST used appliance in my household next to the coffee machine. Another thing I love… COFFEE. We have a Keurig and a Nespresso. I love both of those appliances as well. Expresso or a drip coffee in one cup… it can’t get any better. Yes… there are a few things I love. They do lean onto the food spectrum, hence the many food pics. I just enjoy the food, the experience, and the memories. I feel so loved and joyful when I am engaged in eating or drinking something I love and often times, the company I keep. I am so grateful for the food, the love, and the people. I am very lucky.
I think as a child, I feel that food was a privilege. We did not have a lot of food and I was given food that I was given. My parents worked very hard to put food on the table. My mom made the most of the dollar to maximize the food in our house. I don’t know how she did it. I have very negative memories about food. The fridge was almost empty, my mom bought “x” bread (aka., day old bread), and my made many stir fry dinners with meat she cut off a chicken leg (aka., the cheapest cut). My dad worked at the pulp mill, underemployed, and worried about being laid off from month-to-month. My mom worked at the cannery and pulp mill cafeteria at one time and worked around the clock, then in the food industry as a coffee shop owner, caterer, and delicatessen worker. I often think about how many sandwiches my mom had to make to ensure that my siblings and I are educated, working in places where we thrive, and living “the good life” in Canada.
This blog post is the fourth time I have with this title. It does not surprise me. I’ve been feeling kind of low lately and have been resistant to complete some of work I need to do because I am not in the right headspace. I feel that I am finally seeing myself through this heavy space but still have a tonne of stuff to do. I will get it done today. I have no choice. What I am learning is, to feel the feels before proceeding. I don’t want to react, and I don’t want to numb myself and plough through the work without feelings. I just recently did the Myers-Briggs test lately. I was talking about it with my sister. She is INTP. My kid is ISFJ. I used to be ESTJ when I was first introduced to this preference test, but now with a new life, a new way of being, and therapy… LOL… I am now an ENFP, the campaigner. I am enthusiastic, creative, and idealistic. When I read this description, I feel like it’s telling my story (when before I was doing what I thought I should do).
Why does this matter? It’s so important to be who you are and celebrate it. Everyone has strengths, and everyone has stretches too. For many years, I was trying to be someone who I was not to “fit in” and often compromised who I was to “belong.” BAD MOVE. I lost myself in doing that. The people-pleasing, the self-betrayal, and the hurt that equated to numbing was HELL. I won’t do that anymore. The person I belong to is ME. I am so grateful for Brene Brown’s work, but also the work of my therapist, and now, the work of my physiotherapist. Be yourself. Love yourself. And, ask for help, if you needed it. Ah yes, vulnerability, acceptance, and love. These virtues are so essential to our ability to experience joy, happiness, and doing what you love. I am not motivated by money, but rather I am motivated in helping (or lifting) others to be their best selves. I love listening to other people’s jam. I love slowing down and savouring in the joy.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 26th, 2026 | Comments Off on Do what you love
Yesterday, April 18, 2026, was my friend’s birthday. Happy birthday, Nina!! I did not realize that it was her birthday, but knew it was coming soon. Yesterday morning, as I rolled over in bed to reach for my phone (a very, very unhealthy habit), and I got a Facebook notification announcing birthdays. My friend passed away last year, but her Facebook page is still alive and well. LOL. Social media. I’m beginning to question the value of social media in relationship with humanity. Very questionable. Nina passed away last year from a 1.5 year battle with cancer. She had glioblastoma. I remember her telling me her diagnosis on my birthday at 4 or 5 am. She did not use that term, glioblastoma, but with what she had described, Google provided the rest of the details. I remember her introducing her herself to me in 2019 at the CAfLN (Canadian Assessment for Learning Network) conference. At that time, I was not in the best place in my life. Things were very uncertain for me and I was about to embark on lots of life changes, but she remained caring, curious, and joyful. I appreciated her friendship ever since. She was 10-years my junior. Nina was a phenomenal teacher educator, assessment advocate, and educational researcher. She was in the middle of her doctorate program, something that she had always wanted to do, but was unable to finish due to her health condition. She was so passionate about her work, her kids, and her family. Nina was good friend.
I met up with our mutual friend, Shannon, in Prince George for bunch (image below). Of course, we took a selfie. Shannon is no longer on social media. I wish I could do the same. I do social media for my job, but I guess I could step away as well. Anyway, I chose to go to Grama’s Kitchen at Grama’s Inn for brunch. My other friend took me there a couple of months ago and I loved it, so I wanted to go back again. As you can see with the image above, the breakfast feature of two eggs, hashbrowns, toast, and sausage is HUGE and I chose items that remind me of my mom, like sausage and shredded hashbrowns, but Shannon had her eggs poached, ordered bacon, and chose to have the potato “cubes” with grilled onion. Damn. I love the permutations. We both had coffee and chatted for a good couple of hours. I love catching up with Shannon and I love spending “be a person day” connecting with friends and having a restaurant breakfast (aka., my favourite). The meal was very satisfying, much like the conversation, and I brought my raisin toast home to have for breakfast at another time. I thought it was serendipitous to have planned and meet on Nina’s birthday. Nina had a huge impact on both of us and believe that Nina brought us together in some way to celebrate her birthday. She was that kind of person. Selfless, always in service. Nina was an incredible person, much like Shannon. We decided to meet again next month, but go somewhere else. We gabbed for a bit in the parking lot and decided to rate and review each restaurant we go to.
Although we did not set success criteria for the brunch assessment, Grama’s Kitchen is PROFICIENT. We are referring to BC’s Proficiency Scale (not a score out of 10). I would have rated Grama’s as a solid 8 out of 10, but that’s based on my feelings, past experiences, and perceived level of self-satisfaction. I love the diner atmosphere, the service is fun, animated, and personable, and the food is delicious. I know I will be back again. Thank you Grama’s Kitchen for another amazing breakfast. I’ll be back again. For the blog-reader, look forward to our next brunch review (with success criteria too). 🙂
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 19th, 2026 | Comments Off on The Brunch Review
As we approach the end of another semester at the university, my daughter (known as the kid) will be graduating soon. She has only a few more days of clinical left which concludes her final term at the university. As selfish as the may sound, I am so grateful that I could be with my daughter during her undergraduate years. I remember as a kid that I had to leave home at 17-years old and go to university. I had no idea what I was doing. From Prince Rupert to Vancouver at UBC, I was a deer in the headlights, to say the least. I stayed in residence and had no idea what I wanted to do. My kid, on the other hand, due to life circumstances, followed me to Prince George after she graduated from high school. We lived in my one-bedroom apartment for a few years. She got the bedroom and the dining room became my bedroom/office. She took a couple courses from the school district as an adult student before entering the nursing program at CNC and UNBC. And about a year and a half ago, I bought my own place in Prince George, to make a commitment to me, the kid, and the place.
No regrets.
I almost think this is how things should have played out. I feel very fortunate that my kid received quite a few scholarship and bursaries to pay for most of her tuition at CNC. I am grateful to my mom who helped out in creating an RESP for my kid and contribute to it religiously so that my kid could have an education. And finally, I am thankful that I have had a steady contract and renewal at the university so that my kid could reap the benefit of tuition waivers. She also won a couple of bursaries too during her time at the university, and she has worked as a ESN (employed student nurse) for a couple of summers as well as acquire some RA funding with a couple of research projects she has been involved in. Moreover, now that I’m bragging, she was VP of the Pre-Med Club as well as the President of the Stem Cell Club, in addition to being a member of the REB (research ethics board) and co-chair of Hoops 3-on-3 and executive member of the Relay for Life in Prince George. It’s a handful, and she did that on her own. Did I mention that we were roomies the whole time? I just loved it.
Wow. I guess I really wanted to talk about how proud I am of my kid. She’s really made the most of a situation and then some. I am really excited for her with respect to next steps and I will support her in any way I can. Again, I loved spending this time with her during her undergraduate years to see her grow up, be an adult, and heal from many of the hardships experienced as a young child. We were healing together.
So, onto the real premise of this blog post. It’s something that I have been considering for quite some time, but now more than ever, given that my kid is finishing up school and moving into the big world as an adult with her nursing credentials and skills acquired from higher education, I feel that now I can be my own person too. So who is that? Who am I? I just came to the realization that much of what I am curious about with respect to research is (1) out-of-field teaching; (2) professional learning experiences; and (3) identity development… are all things that I experienced, love, and struggle with. Makes sense. What you research has to be important to you. The context from which I do my research is in mathematics education, teacher education, and teacher leadership. Also makes sense too, as these three areas in education reflect my positionality in my personal and professional spaces. But really? Who am I?
DR. CHRISTINE HO
It’s taken some time to get here. I remember as a kid that I would write out on a piece of paper, “Dr. Christine Ho, BSc, MSc, PhD.” My dad, I did not realize until years later, had found these pieces of paper (or at least saw them in my room). It was something that was always in my mind, and in many ways, never thought it would be possible. Admittedly, I did not take the “intended” route to get my doctorate, and really, the letters after my name unravelled more like, “BSc, BEd, MEd, EdD,” but I’m still “Dr. Christine.” I kinda like that name when students call me that. It resonates with me, respectful but personal, even though I prefer “Christine” instead. All is good.
After separating and my divorce, I could have easily changed my name. I ended up with a compromise by calling myself “Christine Ho Younghusband” to recognize two big chapters of my life being “Christine Ho” and “Christine Younghusband.” Now that my kid is turning to a new chapter, I feel that I can too. I was looking for some images that reflected a time when I was “Christine Ho” and found two grad photos: one from high school and one from my B.Sc. in Chemistry. I guess these images provoked me to also talk about my kid, her accomplishments, and her upcoming convocation. Anyway, these photos look BOMB. I had no idea. Of course I took off my glasses for both grad photos. Not sure why? The vanity!! I have been wearing glasses since I was in Grade 1. Anyway, I wanted to see myself as CHRISTINE HO, now Dr. Christine Ho, and I’m feeling the vibe. I am so overwhelmed how much work it will be to change my name, but much like my townhouse, I’m worth it. I think I’ll start this process in June.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 11th, 2026 | Comments Off on Changing My Name
An archival pic of my family from 2017, I believe. It’s one of our last family photos.
April 5, 2026 – OMG… I’m sick and lost my voice
You just can’t take things for granted. OMG… I’m just struggling with illness. I have no idea what I have… a cold, the flu, or COVID. Oof. All I know is, I am sick, I am coughing like nobody’s business, and I lost my voice. I just had another “cold” a few weeks ago and managed to “work my way through it” but this time, I don’t know. I am fully operational in terms of low level activity, like blogging. I went to Vancouver last weekend with my kid. She had an appointment in Vancouver and she wanted me to come along. It turned out to be a weekend of connection, rest, and bliss. We met up with one of her childhood friends, we met up with my family, and we visited my mom. We celebrated this weekend as my kid is heading closer to graduation. I got her a build-a-bear and we had a couple of massages too. We had a great weekend, but I could feel something creeping from behind.
My ears would not unplug after flying home from Vancouver. This anomaly was my first clue. Of course, like any good teacher, I denied these symptoms, hoping that my ear would pop and life would proceed as it should. Monday was my last in-person teaching day with this crew. Next Monday (aka., tomorrow), is Easter Monday, and our last Monday together was made asynchronous. Everything in those two classes are due that day. I got through that day, and I was in the race-of-work. Because my last weekend was spent with my kid, I was in full gear trying to get things done, like email, prep, and meetings. I was still in sick-denial. By the time I was teaching my Tuesday night class, I could feel “the sick” coming in hard and fast. The first part of the class, my class was being filmed for the university. The second-half, I was dying. I think the students picked up on this when no one sat beside me in circle. I dragged myself home and I was overwhelmed by SICK.
Just like that, I was drinking NeoCitron, having Benadryl, and managing to get through Wednesday and Thursday before Easter long weekend. Luckily, I could work from home. But, I lost my voice by the end of Wednesday… and now it’s Sunday, and I still don’t have my voice. I had to teach my Thursday online class using the chat function, established instructional routines, and videos. That was an interesting experience. My occupation is very reliant on my voice. Thank goodness the class went well and my students were very compassionate and accommodating. It’s been an interesting class and I appreciate how it’s been moving along despite the interruptions. After that class, I was very intentional to take the night off, to go to bed, and take the next day or two to recover from this mess. Two days later, I am still sick, I’m struggling with sleep, and I still don’t have my voice.
So, why the photo of my family? My sister, brother, and I are connected via text messaging. I am so grateful to be so connected to them both. Although I spent a good chunk of my life trying to be “like them” as the first child and first boy in our family, I have learned that they have my best interests at heart and I don’t have to be like them (or anyone) to be accepted for who I am. Anyway, I am very grateful for what they both have to offer and very appreciative of the sibling-team we have become for one another and for my dad. A long story made short, it was triage for us which resulted in a FaceTime call. Of course, I had no voice. I was all non-verbal cues, much like my Thursday’s class without the chat function. My sister commented by saying mid-Triage about me not having a voice and how refreshing it was. LOL. I’ll take that as a compliment. It’s been something that I have been learning since my mom passed. I have a voice. Use it.
In the end, the triage-moment proceeded as it did and I was left wondering about not taking what we have for granted. I’ve been doing that for many, many years. But, I have my health. I have a place to live. I have a job I love. I live with my kid. I have everything I need. Ok. I am sick and lost my voice, but what a wonderful reminder of making the most of what I have and not take things for granted. I have been adapting and doing my best to make the most of the current situation. I have rested for a couple of days, like it was the weekend, and I have a couple of more days this long weekend to get things done without the interruption of meetings and emails. It’s nice. As we approach the end of the term, I hope to get my voice back from my last two classes, one on Tuesday and the other on Thursday. Other than that, it’s time to close the term, get my marking done, and to submit grades. I also need to work on my CV. I’ve done a tonne of things for the last 3-months and I need to document them for the annual report. Honestly, life is good.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 05th, 2026 | Comments Off on Appreciate What You Have
I will say, imposter syndrome is REAL. Understanding my worth is CHALLENGING. And, being ok with rejection is NORMAL. Wow. It has taken me a load of time to figure this out, but I guess that is the journey. I am sitting here on a Friday night, looking out my window and watching a thunder and lightning storm. The metaphor did not escape me. Big changes are a happening, and it’s taken me a long time to accept who I am, love who I am, and love the work that I do. I guess I am going to cite Brené Brown again to say that “I am enough.” I do remember the words of my supervisor saying, “we don’t give out doctorates to anybody… you’ve earned it.” (PS. may not be the exact words, but it’s close).
I cannot believe that it’s already been a week since I was in Toronto visiting with relatives on my mom’s side of the family. It was my aunt’s 80th birthday and with sheer grit and will power, my aunt and planning committee of cousins (that included my twin bro) organized a weekend event in Toronto. One of the highlights of the reunion was my nephew’s camera. It was pretty cool what kind of photos it could take, so here are a couple of them with a few members of my family. This first photo of us in a circle was taken at the University of Toronto visit a memorial bench that honours the memory of my grandmother and grand father. The second photo below is all of us who went to the reunion visiting and paying respect to my grandparents at the cemetery. My grandparents from my dad’s side are also buried near by, so we went there as a little family to pay our respects as well. I was so heartened that many of my aunts and uncles from my mom’s side also came over to pay their respects. What I did not realize is that our families were connected because of my parent’s marriage and one of my aunts on my mom’s side went to school with my uncle on my dad’s side, and she also knew another one of my aunts as well. That was so cool to learn. What was even more exciting was reconnecting and connecting with cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews. Many of them I did not see since my mother had passed away in 2018. Most I have not seen in decades. While others were brand new to me, and I was meeting them for the first time. There is something magical about families. Because you are family, you are just going to connect and get to know each other. It was a wonderful 3-days. Lots of memories.
It took me some time to condition myself to NOT work 7-days a week and around the clock and reprogram myself to take Saturdays as “be a person day” and to go to bed at a reasonable hour. It helped to have an almost burnout situation almost two-years ago and adopting a cat when I moved into my townhouse. Yesterday was a pleasant reminder that “be a person day” is so essential for me to REST and recalibrate for the upcoming work week. I’ll admit, it took some time to get myself to NOT work, guilt-free on Saturdays, but also setting and creating boundaries so that it does not bleed into other days of the week. Because I am not working everyday of the week, and around the clock, I have to be mindful of what I can and cannot do, make the most of each work day, and self-care is not selfish. Yesterday, the kid and I end the day with ice cream at Ice Cream Express. It’s a seasonal, small business run by one ‘very active’ young man. We both got a kid-sized ice cream, and it was HUGE. The one-scoop and two-scoop options are equally generous. I got burgundy cherry, and it was delicious. I just needed to slow down I was so wound up over the weeks with still a tonne to do, the messiness of changing one’s habits is a given so forgiveness is also part of the process. It’s Sunday morning and I feel good. I feel renewed. During the week, I was putting myself aside because I’ve been overwhelmed or overworked. I can’t do that anymore. I’m important. This self-love has been incredibly challenging to achieve, but in doing so, I can make better choices for myself and my work. I’m not getting any younger, and I am realizing that life, my wellness, and my health cannot be taken for granted. I feel that I need to take hold of my life… almost for the first time. I feel more rested and empowered. YAY!!
