I will say, imposter syndrome is REAL. Understanding my worth is CHALLENGING. And, being ok with rejection is NORMAL. Wow. It has taken me a load of time to figure this out, but I guess that is the journey. I am sitting here on a Friday night, looking out my window and watching a thunder and lightning storm. The metaphor did not escape me. Big changes are a happening, and it’s taken me a long time to accept who I am, love who I am, and love the work that I do. I guess I am going to cite Brené Brown again to say that “I am enough.” I do remember the words of my supervisor saying, “we don’t give out doctorates to anybody… you’ve earned it.” (PS. may not be the exact words, but it’s close).
I remember that it took me a year to tell people I was a doctoral candidate (which meant passing the comprehensive exams), many years to complete my dissertation (because I kept spiralling in the research problem without making much progress until I quit my job, became a school trustee, and realized that my job as a doctoral student and researcher was to answer the research question.). Once all the pieces seemed to make sense (as I struggled with my identity, my value within the profession, and what to do next in my professional career), I completed my research. At that time, I was a sessional instructor (commuting from the Sunshine Coast), I was a two-term school trustee, and my mom was dying (I needed to take care of her).
What can I say? Life was turbulent to say the least, and my sense of self was at an all time low. It’s hard to hear things like, “hey, do you want to publish your dissertation?” from your supervisor. I had no idea what he was talking about. He offered to help and to be a co-author (many, many years ago), and I said, “sure.” I had no clue what this meant or involved. He took the time to reduce my dissertation down to a word-count less than 10,000. He managed to do it, and added his flair to the manuscript to to bring some of the ideas together in its condensed form. Now what? It did take some time to get the manuscript completed, but once it was in my hands to review and submit, I was lost again. What was I suppose to do with this document? Where does it go? Academia is very much what my dissertation was about… being out-of-field, learning-by-doing, and experiential learning. I did submit it to one place, but the editor quickly returned the manuscript to me saying that they did not like the convenience sampling approach and that it needed a literature review. I can say that now, but what I internalized then was, this work is garbage and you can’t read or write. Sounds extreme, I know, but that was the headspace I was in. It was not good, so formative feedback was difficult to receive.
Time lapsed. I could not fathom submitting this work to another journal. First, it was a long manuscript. Most journals accept 5000-7000 words. I’ve attempted to shorten the manuscript and edit it, but I could never get passed the first page. I was so devastated by the editor’s reply that I could not even think about subjecting my work to anyone, despite the blood, sweat, and tears incurred by both myself and my supervisor. I did not have the strength, confidence, or heart to do it. I just wanted to keep the work to myself. So, what did I do? Pursued academia and engage in studies that had NOTHING to do with my doctoral research. OMG. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. I loved returning back to teaching, and I love learning about research. I am really enjoying working with others on some research projects, and I am getting some publications out that are aligned to teaching and learning. Lots of what I am doing at the university through teaching, research, and service are related to what I love, but none of it is directly correlated to my doctoral research. CRAZY. Until one day, I went back to that manuscript and realized that my supervisor referred to the literature review in the discussion as a strategy to reduce words, and my student did engage in a form of convenience sampling.
HELLO? I’m not a bad person.
Other life events have happened since then, like ending my marriage, moving to a new place, becoming a full-time single parent, navigating the academia world (and not really doing a good job at it), buy a new place, a new car, a new way of being. Why not through a pandemic in there as well as a strike (that was a turbulent year). The brighter side, my kid just graduated from university and working a full-time job, I am a cat-mom, and I love teaching and learning about math and math education. Ah yes… back to my OG love. I get super stoked attending professional development sessions about math education, and I have opportunities to put my doctoral work into practice. I’m not sure if this is serendipity or that I was always meant to. It’s been an incredible journey to get to where I am today, and YES… I submitted that manuscript to a different journal, that accepted up to 10,000 words, and I feel 1000-times better about this work and realizing that the research is still relevant. I want to do a replication study. This work is interesting to me, and I feel like I’m coming home… in a good way… and it feels GREAT. I have overcome my fears. And, even though I have another chapter, and another chapter to write (with timelines), I needed to take today to submit that manuscript, regardless of outcome.
I feel good. I am not hung up on the outcome, or the feedback. Everything is formative, and I really understand that. It’s taken many learning experiences to get to where I am with this mindset. Not only did coach teacher candidates this understanding in their upcoming and recent publication as a conference proceeding, but also to graduate students I am mentoring and supporting in other ways and roles. But now, I get it. I really understand who I am, my doctoral work, and MY WHY (of which I wrote in my last blog post). This ALIGNMENT has been something that I have always been striving for, and now I see it, I can feel it, and I know it. I feel that the floodgate has opened and now the water can rush through. I want to use the metaphor of a salmon swimming up stream, but my arrival is not my death, but rather the opportunity to lay eggs and spawn birth to new ideas and possibilities. I had to write this blog post soon after I sent my manuscript, co-authored with my supervisor. I know that we are colleagues, but he will always be my supervisor. For that, I am very appreciative. Onwards and upwards… to the next chapter!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 19th, 2026 | No Comments »
June 18, 2026 – Trying to Catch Up on My Reflections
There was one thing that I loved so much when I was teaching in K-12… many decades ago… it was PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. I loved going to different conferences, I loved learning new things and ideas, and I loved being the Professional Development Representative for our school. And now, I love presenting at conferences, I love attending conferences, and I love connecting and reconnecting with people at these conferences. I just LOVE conferences and professional learning. There is no surprise that my dissertation centred around professional learning, as well did my major papers during my masters program as well. I never thought that I was a “good learner,” but rather, now that I’m thinking about it, I was “not a good student.” Wait a minute, let me unpack that…
I love chatting with my brother and sister who both reminisce about high school and how both of them went to the Mayor’s Lunch. I had no idea that they went to the “Mayor’s Lunch.” I was very aware that my twin-bro won lots of awards, at least a contender for many of them when we were in high school. I’d consider him to be one of the top three students in my graduating class. I knew that my sister loved high school (but she also likes going to the dentist too). Anyway, they were so good at school, that they got to go eat lunch with the mayor. I never done that, nor knew that was even a thing until I was in my 50’s. That is so sad, but also, not surprising. Why would I know about the mayor’s lunch. I think I was above average, at best. I was a solid “B+” student in high school.
I did not find school particularly easy, or interesting. In hindsight, I should have stayed in my typing class, continued with band, and maybe follow through on the Calculus 12 course. I think if I had stayed in all three courses, I could have been on a different trajectory. I did stay focussed on curling, and committed to the sport until the end of grade 12 when my team won the Alcan High School Provincials, and runner-up in the BC Provincials. That was a pretty good year. Reading and writing were not my strength, and as you can see, I kept on pursuing things that I was not very good at… for some strange reason. And, I stepped away from things that I thought I was not good at, caved into my ego’s needs, and quit. Hmm… this finding is very insightful. How can I stay the course?
Fast forward to present time, or at least the last decade, life has underwent much transformation. Call it the midlife-unravelling (named by Dr. Brené Brown), or turning a new page to a new chapter series… LOL. Whatever it was, I needed to undergo these changes to be where I am today. I am currently writing 2 chapters. I never thought there would be a day that I would be saying that, but one I am procrastinating, as the final submission responding to revisions is due in a couple of weeks, and the other needs to be written by the end of summer. This pat-on-the-back is not listing out other major tasks such as organizing the program annual retreat, writing an overdue book review, and acting as an external examiner for a dissertation. Again, these are all good things.
I’m still overwhelmed with some other work that needs to get done in the meantime and the house is mess. Right in the middle of composing the blog post, I had to take a pause and clean the hallway, of which my daughter consumes, do her laundry because I have to for my own peace of mind, and vacuum the floors that needed it months ago. Ahhh… just those little things (aka., huge tasks) frees my mind to really enjoy things like writing and professional development. I loved how I heard on one podcast where the guest said, RESEARCH IS ME-SEARCH. I think I heard that before, but it reminded me that this work that I am doing is also about self-discovery and understanding. One co-author I am working with reminded me that I LOVE PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. She ain’t wrong.
Strangely, I never considered myself curious, but lately, folks around me are describing me in that way. Huh. I guess I am. You know that I am in the midst of turning a page onto a new chapter because I do feel a level of liberation. I’m not sure if it’s because my daughter has graduated from university and is now working as a full-time nurse, or that I’m engaged in physio and paying more attention to my physical self, or if it’s because I said no to applying for promotion because I know that I am not ready yet. All of these acts are powerful and also play a role in my professional learning. Self-knowledge, according to Parker Palmer, is an important component to good teaching along with knowledge of the subject matter and knowledge of the learners in the classroom.
I had such a good time at the University of Winnipeg at CSSE (Canadian Society for the Study of Education) Conference 2026 . I presented twice for CATE (Canadian Association for Teacher Education), and I was the Program Manager for CAARE (Canadian Association for Action Research in Education). It was a good balance between presenting, connecting, and organizing. I had a tonne of fun in Winnipeg. I was so glad that I went there a few months ago for WestCAST 2026 with a few teacher candidates. We really explored the city then. This time, I was focused on the conference, being with good people, and enjoying my time learning from others. I did walk away from the conference feeling like ACTION RESEARCH is m JAM. That’s exciting too. I can’t wait for the next conference.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 18th, 2026 | No Comments »
UNBC School of Nursing Pinning Ceremony 2026 – May 30 – Northern Sports Centre
June 4, 2026 – Feeling Lucky to have this PIC
Oh my goodness… The last week has been a whirlwind and finally, I have a moment to reflect, wonder, and appreciate my kid’s achievements. THE KID graduated from the University of Northern British Columbia in the School of Nursing, and she received her Bachelor of Science in Nursing (BScN) on May 29th on her birthday. You could not have written a better story. I loved that Zoe was highlighted in the interim President’s speech, and she was warmly received by her friend, Chancellor, interim President, Dean, and Chair as she crossed the stage. What an exciting moment for her, and I was so grateful to be front stage as faculty member witnessing this achievement. My kid has overcame so much over the last handful of years, and she is becoming the person she is meant to be.
There is nothing more that I can say about this kid, except for “I am so proud.” This kid is seems to know no bounds and I cannot believe that she has finished the UNBC Nursing Program and starting full-time work in the next week… in addition to a few other jobs relating to research and nursing. Who would have thought? I just love all of the service work that she does. The kid takes after her mom in lots of ways… but 10-fold. She just does a lot better than I have ever done, in 10-fold. It’s amazing… and I want that for her. I remember when she was learning how to swim. She loves the water ever since she was born. I put her into swimming lessons when she was only a little bub. When she turned 10-years old, she finished all of the swimming levels, then when she was old enough, finished her bronze medallion and bronze cross, and worked as a lifeguard for several years before graduating high school. AMAZING!! (PS. I don’t know how to swim).
I am not trying to downplay my achievements, but THE KID has created dreams and goals that are set by her. I’m here to support, guide, and encourage, but all of her accomplishments are hers. She was the vice-president of the UNBC Pre-Med Club and President of the UNBC Stem Cell Club. It’s not the roles that mattered, but the work she had accomplished for these clubs in these roles. She fundraised for both clubs, organized gatherings and talks with folks in the medical field, and rallied in many ways to promote and gather swabs for stem cell. I only have a sense of the kind of work she has manifested, and there’s more… She co-led the inaugural Prince Hoops with her boyfriend that hosted 14 3-on-3 basketball teams, and the event was sponsored by many community organizations and companies. And, she is also one of the directors of the Run for Life in Prince George, an initiative started by a group of her peers who wanted to bring this event back to the community which is happening at the end of this month.
I have attached one of many news articles she is a part of. She’s been interviewed by the local newspapers, local news on TV, and UNBC Communications promoting the good work she is engaged in (as mentioned above). She also takes the time to promote these initiatives on social media as well. What I like about all this is, not only she is doing the good work, she also prefers not being the centre of attention. She lifts other people up, to be at the centre, and fostering their leadership. I appreciate that about THE KID as a leadership, action research scholar. She is making a difference, and one metric of leadership is the number of leaders you leave behind. Now graduated and leaving the university to pursue her career in health, she has mentored many competent student leaders that she leaves behind at UNBC. What a gift to the two clubs and university.
As you can see, I am super humbled and proud of this kid. She works hard, and plays hard. I loved having the last 5-years with her. She moved to Prince George to be with me, and I would not have it any other way. Not only am I excited about her next steps in life, I am confident that she will do whatever she is doing to the best of her abilities, and 10-fold beyond my expectations. Congratulations KID. Enjoy. You can do anything. Love you!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 04th, 2026 | Comments Off on The Kid is Growing Up
I started this blog post at the start of my day… and now, it’s the end of the day. Classic. I got motivated, then distracted. I say that, but there are so many things on the go, everything seems like they have to be done at once. Ironically, multitasking is a myth and today is Saturday. It’s “be a person day.” So, I can move along my day without any guilt. What will happen, will happen. If anything, I am so grateful that I got my recycling done today. Recycling has become a ritual on Saturdays. I live in a townhouse complex where we don’t get garbage pick up, or recycling. Honestly, I don’t mind. I took out the garbage when I needed to when I lived at the apartment, and had to go to the recycling depot then. And now, I’m still doing the same thing. I don’t mind. I kind of like it. Maybe it’s the routine. Maybe it’s the sorting. If anything, I feel a lot of satisfaction when my recycling bins are empty. I am also feeling a lot of joy sitting at my office desk in my bedroom that looks out the window. I love that it’s 10pm and there is still some light outside… almost like the sunset… lingering. It’s just beautiful. There are some clouds, some blue sky, and hints of orange too. It makes me so grateful to be where I am… and to be alive.
Wow. This blog post is taking an existential direction. I am filled with a lot of joy and gratitude. My kid is graduating from the School of Nursing with her BSN next week. Next week, she is also turning 23-years old. DAMN. Where does the time go? She’s a grown adult, and I am so grateful that we spent the last 5-years together in Prince George being roomies. I know that I’m her mom, but I feel that we had the opportunity to grow up together, be together, and support one another. I feel very lucky that I got to be with her during these formative years. She has accomplished so much, and by living together, I can support her with living expenses, schooling, and anything else she needs. I feel so fortunate that I could have supported her in this way. Otherwise, I don’t think we could have had the quality of life we had if she had lived and went to school somewhere else. Honestly, I am filled with gratitude. I mean hey, the photo above is a picture of guacamole from Earls. I needed to slow down my work week and end it with a good meal. With one text and invite, we are having dinner together. I love that. It’s a chance to connect with her, but also to wind down with her, a yummy dinner, and ice cream.
It’s been a busy week, much like the last few weeks, and I was reminded the other day when folks were coming over for a work meeting and dinner, that my mom would often say to me, “you always have to learn the hard way.” I get what she means. I am an experiential learner. I just can’t use common sense or reason to understand something about myself, others, or the environment… I have to experience it… maybe a few times over, before I really get something. Moreover, I am the worst risk-taker. I thought I was a risk-taker, or at least I wanted to be one, but really, my steps forward are tentative at best, and I am better walking forward with someone than alone. That’s something good to know and learn about myself, but damn, it can be very frustrating too. I can get caught in my own mind, overthink, and do nothing. That’s not fun. I had another aha this week when thinking about the fall and planning my courses. I was thinking about who could guest speak in my class, and the flow of the course. I realized that I choose the person or persons. The people I want to work with me and in my classroom are folks I have a relationship with, of whom I have a high regard for, and who are aligned to my thinking.
Whoa… can you believe it? I AM RELATIONAL. My leadership style is relational, transformative, and service-oriented. I don’t know why this is a surprise to me… but it is. However, if I look at my actions and think about what brings me joy in my work and personal life, that pretty much sums it up. I love service, I love people, and I love seeking or challenging people to take action. So, of course, I’m going to ask my kid to go out for dinner on a Friday night after a long day and week of work. Of course, I am going to order the food I love that makes me happy. And of course, we are going to end a yummy dinner by going to the local ice cream shop by the bowling alley to buy some “made in BC” ice cream from a young guy and support this local business. The ice cream is really good, and my kid likes it. Why not? We then went to Shopper Drug Mart to maximize on the points, then go home to rest and be with my cat. I can’t ask for anything more. What I do know is, my joy is in doing, trying things out, and making mistakes… but with people I trust and respect. I’ve been information gathering, wondering what my next steps might be. What I have realized, I am doing exactly what I need to be doing. Now that’s joy.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 23rd, 2026 | Comments Off on Finding My Joy in Doing
In this photo, my kid and I went to get pho. She had soup, and I had this prawn and roll platter. It was absolutely delicious and a huge portion. This meal has held me for 3 meals. I enjoyed every bite, and thank goodness for air fryers. What was life like before the air fryer. This appliance is the MOST used appliance in my household next to the coffee machine. Another thing I love… COFFEE. We have a Keurig and a Nespresso. I love both of those appliances as well. Expresso or a drip coffee in one cup… it can’t get any better. Yes… there are a few things I love. They do lean onto the food spectrum, hence the many food pics. I just enjoy the food, the experience, and the memories. I feel so loved and joyful when I am engaged in eating or drinking something I love and often times, the company I keep. I am so grateful for the food, the love, and the people. I am very lucky.
I think as a child, I feel that food was a privilege. We did not have a lot of food and I was given food that I was given. My parents worked very hard to put food on the table. My mom made the most of the dollar to maximize the food in our house. I don’t know how she did it. I have very negative memories about food. The fridge was almost empty, my mom bought “x” bread (aka., day old bread), and my made many stir fry dinners with meat she cut off a chicken leg (aka., the cheapest cut). My dad worked at the pulp mill, underemployed, and worried about being laid off from month-to-month. My mom worked at the cannery and pulp mill cafeteria at one time and worked around the clock, then in the food industry as a coffee shop owner, caterer, and delicatessen worker. I often think about how many sandwiches my mom had to make to ensure that my siblings and I are educated, working in places where we thrive, and living “the good life” in Canada.
This blog post is the fourth time I have with this title. It does not surprise me. I’ve been feeling kind of low lately and have been resistant to complete some of work I need to do because I am not in the right headspace. I feel that I am finally seeing myself through this heavy space but still have a tonne of stuff to do. I will get it done today. I have no choice. What I am learning is, to feel the feels before proceeding. I don’t want to react, and I don’t want to numb myself and plough through the work without feelings. I just recently did the Myers-Briggs test lately. I was talking about it with my sister. She is INTP. My kid is ISFJ. I used to be ESTJ when I was first introduced to this preference test, but now with a new life, a new way of being, and therapy… LOL… I am now an ENFP, the campaigner. I am enthusiastic, creative, and idealistic. When I read this description, I feel like it’s telling my story (when before I was doing what I thought I should do).
Why does this matter? It’s so important to be who you are and celebrate it. Everyone has strengths, and everyone has stretches too. For many years, I was trying to be someone who I was not to “fit in” and often compromised who I was to “belong.” BAD MOVE. I lost myself in doing that. The people-pleasing, the self-betrayal, and the hurt that equated to numbing was HELL. I won’t do that anymore. The person I belong to is ME. I am so grateful for Brene Brown’s work, but also the work of my therapist, and now, the work of my physiotherapist. Be yourself. Love yourself. And, ask for help, if you needed it. Ah yes, vulnerability, acceptance, and love. These virtues are so essential to our ability to experience joy, happiness, and doing what you love. I am not motivated by money, but rather I am motivated in helping (or lifting) others to be their best selves. I love listening to other people’s jam. I love slowing down and savouring in the joy.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 26th, 2026 | Comments Off on Do what you love
Yesterday, April 18, 2026, was my friend’s birthday. Happy birthday, Nina!! I did not realize that it was her birthday, but knew it was coming soon. Yesterday morning, as I rolled over in bed to reach for my phone (a very, very unhealthy habit), and I got a Facebook notification announcing birthdays. My friend passed away last year, but her Facebook page is still alive and well. LOL. Social media. I’m beginning to question the value of social media in relationship with humanity. Very questionable. Nina passed away last year from a 1.5 year battle with cancer. She had glioblastoma. I remember her telling me her diagnosis on my birthday at 4 or 5 am. She did not use that term, glioblastoma, but with what she had described, Google provided the rest of the details. I remember her introducing her herself to me in 2019 at the CAfLN (Canadian Assessment for Learning Network) conference. At that time, I was not in the best place in my life. Things were very uncertain for me and I was about to embark on lots of life changes, but she remained caring, curious, and joyful. I appreciated her friendship ever since. She was 10-years my junior. Nina was a phenomenal teacher educator, assessment advocate, and educational researcher. She was in the middle of her doctorate program, something that she had always wanted to do, but was unable to finish due to her health condition. She was so passionate about her work, her kids, and her family. Nina was good friend.
I met up with our mutual friend, Shannon, in Prince George for bunch (image below). Of course, we took a selfie. Shannon is no longer on social media. I wish I could do the same. I do social media for my job, but I guess I could step away as well. Anyway, I chose to go to Grama’s Kitchen at Grama’s Inn for brunch. My other friend took me there a couple of months ago and I loved it, so I wanted to go back again. As you can see with the image above, the breakfast feature of two eggs, hashbrowns, toast, and sausage is HUGE and I chose items that remind me of my mom, like sausage and shredded hashbrowns, but Shannon had her eggs poached, ordered bacon, and chose to have the potato “cubes” with grilled onion. Damn. I love the permutations. We both had coffee and chatted for a good couple of hours. I love catching up with Shannon and I love spending “be a person day” connecting with friends and having a restaurant breakfast (aka., my favourite). The meal was very satisfying, much like the conversation, and I brought my raisin toast home to have for breakfast at another time. I thought it was serendipitous to have planned and meet on Nina’s birthday. Nina had a huge impact on both of us and believe that Nina brought us together in some way to celebrate her birthday. She was that kind of person. Selfless, always in service. Nina was an incredible person, much like Shannon. We decided to meet again next month, but go somewhere else. We gabbed for a bit in the parking lot and decided to rate and review each restaurant we go to.
Although we did not set success criteria for the brunch assessment, Grama’s Kitchen is PROFICIENT. We are referring to BC’s Proficiency Scale (not a score out of 10). I would have rated Grama’s as a solid 8 out of 10, but that’s based on my feelings, past experiences, and perceived level of self-satisfaction. I love the diner atmosphere, the service is fun, animated, and personable, and the food is delicious. I know I will be back again. Thank you Grama’s Kitchen for another amazing breakfast. I’ll be back again. For the blog-reader, look forward to our next brunch review (with success criteria too). 🙂
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 19th, 2026 | Comments Off on The Brunch Review
As we approach the end of another semester at the university, my daughter (known as the kid) will be graduating soon. She has only a few more days of clinical left which concludes her final term at the university. As selfish as the may sound, I am so grateful that I could be with my daughter during her undergraduate years. I remember as a kid that I had to leave home at 17-years old and go to university. I had no idea what I was doing. From Prince Rupert to Vancouver at UBC, I was a deer in the headlights, to say the least. I stayed in residence and had no idea what I wanted to do. My kid, on the other hand, due to life circumstances, followed me to Prince George after she graduated from high school. We lived in my one-bedroom apartment for a few years. She got the bedroom and the dining room became my bedroom/office. She took a couple courses from the school district as an adult student before entering the nursing program at CNC and UNBC. And about a year and a half ago, I bought my own place in Prince George, to make a commitment to me, the kid, and the place.
No regrets.
I almost think this is how things should have played out. I feel very fortunate that my kid received quite a few scholarship and bursaries to pay for most of her tuition at CNC. I am grateful to my mom who helped out in creating an RESP for my kid and contribute to it religiously so that my kid could have an education. And finally, I am thankful that I have had a steady contract and renewal at the university so that my kid could reap the benefit of tuition waivers. She also won a couple of bursaries too during her time at the university, and she has worked as a ESN (employed student nurse) for a couple of summers as well as acquire some RA funding with a couple of research projects she has been involved in. Moreover, now that I’m bragging, she was VP of the Pre-Med Club as well as the President of the Stem Cell Club, in addition to being a member of the REB (research ethics board) and co-chair of Hoops 3-on-3 and executive member of the Relay for Life in Prince George. It’s a handful, and she did that on her own. Did I mention that we were roomies the whole time? I just loved it.
Wow. I guess I really wanted to talk about how proud I am of my kid. She’s really made the most of a situation and then some. I am really excited for her with respect to next steps and I will support her in any way I can. Again, I loved spending this time with her during her undergraduate years to see her grow up, be an adult, and heal from many of the hardships experienced as a young child. We were healing together.
So, onto the real premise of this blog post. It’s something that I have been considering for quite some time, but now more than ever, given that my kid is finishing up school and moving into the big world as an adult with her nursing credentials and skills acquired from higher education, I feel that now I can be my own person too. So who is that? Who am I? I just came to the realization that much of what I am curious about with respect to research is (1) out-of-field teaching; (2) professional learning experiences; and (3) identity development… are all things that I experienced, love, and struggle with. Makes sense. What you research has to be important to you. The context from which I do my research is in mathematics education, teacher education, and teacher leadership. Also makes sense too, as these three areas in education reflect my positionality in my personal and professional spaces. But really? Who am I?
DR. CHRISTINE HO
It’s taken some time to get here. I remember as a kid that I would write out on a piece of paper, “Dr. Christine Ho, BSc, MSc, PhD.” My dad, I did not realize until years later, had found these pieces of paper (or at least saw them in my room). It was something that was always in my mind, and in many ways, never thought it would be possible. Admittedly, I did not take the “intended” route to get my doctorate, and really, the letters after my name unravelled more like, “BSc, BEd, MEd, EdD,” but I’m still “Dr. Christine.” I kinda like that name when students call me that. It resonates with me, respectful but personal, even though I prefer “Christine” instead. All is good.
After separating and my divorce, I could have easily changed my name. I ended up with a compromise by calling myself “Christine Ho Younghusband” to recognize two big chapters of my life being “Christine Ho” and “Christine Younghusband.” Now that my kid is turning to a new chapter, I feel that I can too. I was looking for some images that reflected a time when I was “Christine Ho” and found two grad photos: one from high school and one from my B.Sc. in Chemistry. I guess these images provoked me to also talk about my kid, her accomplishments, and her upcoming convocation. Anyway, these photos look BOMB. I had no idea. Of course I took off my glasses for both grad photos. Not sure why? The vanity!! I have been wearing glasses since I was in Grade 1. Anyway, I wanted to see myself as CHRISTINE HO, now Dr. Christine Ho, and I’m feeling the vibe. I am so overwhelmed how much work it will be to change my name, but much like my townhouse, I’m worth it. I think I’ll start this process in June.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 11th, 2026 | Comments Off on Changing My Name
March 26, 2026 – My cat found a new passion in Churu
Oh my… I am super late with my weekly blog, so much so that it’s almost next week. That’s ok. There will be something else to reflect on and wonder about. What I wanted to talk about in this blog post is reminding myself what stokes my fire. I find myself, at times, overly excited when I am at presentations and I can honestly feel the JOY busting through my chest. My energy is up and I just get excited about the possibilities. I just get JACKED-UP when I am at a ProD workshop or conference. And yes, that topic is MATH.
Let me be clear. I’m not a math-nerd. I’m OK at math. In some ways, I wished I was math-bionic. With respect to pure-math at the 300- and 400- level, I would need to return back to university to find the love in different types of mathematics. I am not 100% sure if I can say that “I love high school math” or “elementary math” per se. The content itself can often seem disconnected to the real world and it’s hard to believe that math teachers from K-9 are primary working towards mathematics to learn calculus. Yup, it’s true.
Now, I’m getting into MY JAM. I love the policies, the pedagogies, and the politics of math and math education. I am so drawn to the idea of math identity and math efficacy. Moreover, I am so enamoured by math teacher efficacy and math pedagogy. I love how people interpret and translate the curriculum. I love math education teachers and experts who share their ideas and exude a love for math. I am so curious and deeply invested in policies in math education and why it matters. It’s all a puzzle to me. It’s super FUN!!
So, it’s strange to look back at my photos to find an image of me and my friend (i.e., selfie… on-brand) or even a food pic of my lunch (i.e., also on-brand). Nope. I found a picture of my cat eating Churu within 30 seconds. I used to give my cat Catit tubes, but saw an AI cat on Reels promoting Churu. I thought I would try this brand with my cat and she has never looked back. My point is, she found her JAM too. So, the picture seemed appropriate for this blog post. There is likely no pic of lunch because I was so engaged.
Oh my goodness… we just talked about MATH, math education, and math policies. We chatted about math efficacy in teachers and ourselves. We talked about the proposals we each wrote with hopes of the editors from UBC to publish a book on Indigenous Math K-12. I was brought home. It was a very familiar feeling and I was so grateful to have this 2-hour conversation over fish tacos about math and math education. I was so engaged, excited, and interested. It’s conversations like these that boost my math efficacy.
I am finding as an academic that I am exploring everything about education in terms of leadership, identity, and pedagogy, but I am not centred around mathematics. What is that about? I don’t ask this question in a judging way, but rather in a curious one? What happened to my doctoral research? What happened to continuing that research program? What happened to my math embedded project? Why aren’t I exploring that work further?
This lunch conversation and how I feel about math, math efficacy, and math identity cannot be underestimated or ignored. I remember one student asking me if it was ok if they took my research idea math stories. I said, OK. This convo has left me thinking. I need to really dig deep (well not that deep, I’m there) and be truthful about what I fear about and why it matters. Being in my JAM matters to me and I need to stoke this fire.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 26th, 2026 | Comments Off on Feeling Stoked About Math
I could not find a picture for the life of me for the blog post. So, why not a food pic of my breakfast from this morning, of which, my friend bought for me. It was delicious and unexpected. We sometimes go out for breakfast. It’s something I like to do, in particular, have a “hotel breakfast.” As a kid, we NEVER went to the hotel (or motel, for that matter) for breakfast. And, don’t even consider room service. It was not a thing that my parents did, and I see why. It’s expensive. Why not go through the McDonalds drive-thru to get a breakfast combo? (TBH: I did that on Saturday… LOL). Nonetheless, I wanted to try a new place in Prince George. We often go to the WhiteSpot, of which I do enjoy. My friend recommended Grama’s Kitchen at Grama’s Inn. I was game, and I heard some folks talk about this place, but never went.
On the way to the restaurant, my friend tried to describe the experience I was about to embark on. She said that the service is lively and entertaining and the food is homestyle. I was open and wanted to try something new. When we arrived to the Grama’s Inn, I did not realize that the entrance was on the side. The parking lot was almost full, much like the restaurant. It was a little establishment with lots of light. The two servers were very lively and entertaining, but also personal. They recognized my friend when she entered the restaurant. We found a table and went with the flow. There was a distinct rhythm to the place. I loved the natural light coming through the windows. It was super sunny this morning. And, I appreciated the homestyle service and food. The place was hopping the whole time we were there.
I was also surprised that we both knew people who were at the restaurant. It was clearly a place to go for the locals. As you can see from the photo, the portions are huge and the food was very delicious. I even got raisin bread for my toast (my choice and never had that before with my breakfast) and I chose the shredded hashbrowns, sunny side up eggs, and sausage. One of the things I do like about my meals is lots of variety and lots of choice. This experience met that criteria in spades, as well as being a “hotel breakfast.” There is something that’s heightened for me when I can have not just breakfast out, but at a hotel. This place did not disappoint and I am likely to come her again. I am so glad that my friend took me there. I’m not sure if I would have went on my own. It was a good day to celebrate International Women’s Day.
Why does this all matter?
I feel that this breakfast experience serves as a metaphor of my week and weekend. I have a zillion things on the go (and I am not complaining because it is work that I feel very aligned to) but there are only so many hours in a day and week. This week was Weaving Words, an Indigenous writers’ festival in Prince George. I have heard about this event over the last few years, but never went. This year, I felt compelled to go. A good reason why is, my friend, Carolyn Roberts, who was one of the writers and speakers of the event reached out to me to say that they would be here in Prince George and wondered if we could connect. I did not realize that she was going to be one of the speakers (until I looked into it). We went out for dinner at the beginning of the week, and I went to one of her events on Wednesday that she was speaking at and then to an evening event at Omineca Art Centre. I bumped into another friend there as well, and we listened to a few writers that night, including Richard Van Camp.
Unfortunately, I could not attend all of the events for this writers’ festival. I had to work, I had meetings, and I was teaching. Time is a premium lately, and I decided to go to the beading session at the Two Rivers Art Gallery with my daughter on Friday afternoon with Crystal Behn. I loved that session. I came to that session not in the greatest of moods and beading is a good teacher. I did not follow the pattern that was suggested, unlike my kid. I wanted to make a heart, and yes, it looks blobbular and free-wielding. At the end of the session, with some homework to do, a person at the workshop said, hearts are one of the hardest things to bead. HUH. That tracks. I’m pretty happy with the process. You can see over time in the beading, my energy shifted from a form of “grumpiness” to one that was more peaceful and accepting. I was not planning to go to the evening event at Books and Company, but my friend encouraged me to go.
No regrets.
I never went before. Saw some familiar faces and I was sitting in the front row. We got to listen to Richard Van Camp and Katherena Vermette speak and read to us. It was AMAZING and I was such in awe with how clear and confident each of them were about who they are, where they are from, and their craft. I enjoyed Richard talking about how he writes and what inspires him. I have been part of a couple of workshops with Richard as Zoom sessions, so seeing him in person was absolutely a bucket-list experience. Consistently, he is so generous in helping others in their writing journey, and once again, he offered a “one month” opportunity to send him a “what if” piece of writing, and he will provide feedback on your work. I don’t know how he does it, but I always appreciate his invitation. With Katherena, I just enjoyed her reading and embodying her poetry. I loved watching her move her hand and read her words with animation and ease. She took me on a ride with her words, and I was so honoured that she was here in Prince George to share them.
What a way to end the work week… despite the volume of unread email in my in-box… and all of my intentions of what I wanted to achieve this week. I just loved that I was able to see a few events from the ‘Ut’loo Noye Khunni – Weaving Words Celebration that highlights Indigenous storytelling in its many forms. Often professional learning is one of the first things that gets struck from the list of things to do. I am so grateful to at least attend a few sessions and not foregoing the whole event, like I have in previous years. Thank you to all of the artists, organizers, and volunteers who made this event possible. You have inspired me in many ways, and I hope that I can also find the courage and motivation to share that deep love that you have about where you are from, what you do, and who you are. The joy that you have shared and demonstrated will be in my memories and my heart. Thank you for your generosity and welcoming us in.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 09th, 2026 | Comments Off on Things Are Changing
I am not sure where the first two months of 2026 have gone to, but here we are. It’s time to recalibrate and delve into a “new start” to the new year. There are a million things I need to do, but I will continue to honour my time on the weekends. This form of REST is honouring and self-preserving. It’s a practice that I did not do when I was teaching in K-12 and for the first handful of years when I started teaching at the university. As much as I thought it was something that I needed to do to be viable and valuable, it took me several decades to realize that I am important and valuable too. I needed to re-navigate my life so that it would or could be sustainable. A couple of years ago, I almost burned out in January and I thought that I needed to respect my health and wellness. In doing so, I needed to figure out who I was, what’s important to me, and do what I wanted to do (not what I thought I needed to do). It’s taken some time for me to figure this out.
For example, today was a gorgeous day. I was inspired to get outside and go for a walk. I needed to connect with the land and place. It’s something that I don’t do that often, but today felt different. Maybe it’s a day for renewal, but I wanted to enjoy the sunshine and make the most of my weekend. I know that I have a billion things to do, my health and wellness are important to me. I loved getting outside and I predetermined a route for me to participate in, with a brief pitstop at the local Tim Hortons. I enjoy a cup of a medium dark regular coffee (and I needed to use the washroom too). Seemed serendipitous, and I even bumped into a former student from last semester at the restaurant (who gave me a couple of chocolates to complement my coffee… which were delicious). I enjoyed my time at Tim Hortons and on my walk, listening to my podcast. I loved the walk and coffee too.
I am also enjoying my time blogging tonight. Normally, I would be prepping for my two Monday classes, but the students are currently on practicum. It provides a little break from the enormity of my teaching schedule, but I continue to teach the undergraduate and graduate courses I am teaching as night classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Another thing I enjoyed doing today was cooking dinner for me and the kid. My kid is currently doing clinical, which involves 12-hour shifts. It’s nice to have dinner ready for her today and I was pleasantly surprised that she enjoyed the veggie fried rice. I thought she would not have any of the fried rice, and I would be left with days of having this veggie fried rice. Apparently, it’s not the case. She enjoyed the lemon chicken, but was not a fan of the frozen veggies. Two out of three is not bad. I felt like tonight’s dinner was a WIN!!
As we delve into the new year, I am having second thoughts of my #OneWord2026. Initially, it was PRACTICE, but I’ve been feeling that it should be JOY, instead. Maybe it can be PRACTICE-JOY… a hyphenated word. That seems reasonable. It makes the word “practice” a bit more specific and intentional. Hmm… I like that. There is nothing I like more than a reflective practice. Blogging for me forces me to practice writing, but really, writing is thinking. Getting to a place where I can elaborate on my #OneWord2026 has turned out way better than I expected. I feel “joyful” and happy with this adaptation.
YES… practice-joy. I can do that!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 01st, 2026 | Comments Off on Changing My One-Word
I will say, imposter syndrome is REAL. Understanding my worth is CHALLENGING. And, being ok with rejection is NORMAL. Wow. It has taken me a load of time to figure this out, but I guess that is the journey. I am sitting here on a Friday night, looking out my window and watching a thunder and lightning storm. The metaphor did not escape me. Big changes are a happening, and it’s taken me a long time to accept who I am, love who I am, and love the work that I do. I guess I am going to cite Brené Brown again to say that “I am enough.” I do remember the words of my supervisor saying, “we don’t give out doctorates to anybody… you’ve earned it.” (PS. may not be the exact words, but it’s close).
