My kid was hanging out in my office for a bit last week. I invited her to see a talk with me on Friday afternoon. she agreed to go with me as she had a couple of meetings after the presentation. We went to my office to charge her iPad and she started looking at some of my collectables in my office. One of the things she found was my dad’s slide rule. She asked, “What is this?” I said it was a slide rule. She said, “What is it used for?” I knew it was used for mathematics, but of course, I looked online to see what the slide rule is really (see image below). It’s used for math… for logarithms, exponents, trigonometry, etc. It was a device used before calculators. She then asked me if I knew how to use it or if I ever used it for school. The answer was no and no, but I did say to her that it was one of those gems that I took from my dad as a keepsake. My brother and I have so many memories of things that were in the house that we remember as a kid (i.e., a copper globe that opened up and it was a cigarette holder… LOL).
Anyway, we started talking about logarithms. I asked her if she know what a logarithm was. She did not take Pre-Calculus Math 12, so I wondered what she knew about logarithms. She was not aware of logarithms, so I started talking to her about it. I started to give her some examples, orally, and then asked her some questions. Through trial and error, she started to get the concept. This activity was so fun. It reminds me when she was 3 of 4 years old and I’m teaching her about square roots when we were driving in the car. Yes, it’s true. We did math problems in the car instead of singing or telling stories. I talked math… and she would get it. So, it was really cool for me to see that she was getting logarithms base 10. So of course, I changed the base and started asking her different questions. She started to get it. Classic mom… I asked her what was log 1? Hence the picture, we needed to talk and write it out in terms of a logic using exponents. I was so impressed that my kid persisted. LOL. I thought it was a good sign even though she ended the conversation with “I was never good at math.” I would strongly disagree.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slide_rule
Here is what I love more… the next day, she asks me… “When do we use logarithms anyway?” She insisted that I give examples… and so I did. Example 1: Earthquakes and the Richter Scale. Example 2: pH values and acidity of solutions. I think I might have impressed her. LOL. I’m giggling… with joy and wonder. I love that my kid was interested in mathematics. I took joy in her curiosity and willingness to learn and engage. I mean, I’m her mom. I can get potentially annoying and I’m talking math!! Finally, I took much joy in talking about math and I loved teaching math to her and with her. I did say to her that I was not the smartest in mathematics, but I did ok. She said I was smart. I said, I taught high school mathematics for more than a decade. You just get better at it over time. Anyway, that experience told me that I would love to go back to K-12 education teach math. In the meantime, I am teaching numeracy to elementary teacher candidates. That, in itself, has so much to learn as well. Math is too fun and that’s where my joy sits.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, November 23rd, 2025 | Comments Off on Talking Math
It’s a time to remember all those who fought in the war for our freedom. I am so grateful for the freedom and quality of life I have in Canada as a second-generation Chinese-Canadian woman. Despite some systemic and societal struggles as a person of colour, I have led a wonderful life and I have much to thank to the veterans and those who continue to protect and fight for our country. I recognized that I am very privileged and my struggles are ones that are personal to me and I have the opportunity to discern, wonder, and reflect. Lately, I have been appreciating the little things like where I live, what I am eating, and what I am doing. It’s the little things that I am able to appreciate, enjoy, and have gratitude for. I feel very lucky and safe to be where I am today.
And, when I say things like I LOVE WHERE I AM… I continue to struggle with other things like MY NAME. It’s so frustrating. I can see why identity and self-knowledge are underpinnings to my teaching practice in the teacher education program. For some reason at the university, my name changed from “Christine Ho Younghusband” to “Christine Younghusband.” All of my platforms associated to the university has changed my name (back) to Christine Younghusband. Why does this matter? I struggled with the idea of having my name as Christine Ho Younghusband when I came to the university. I wanted to honour my family’s name but also my married name. I never liked the name I was born with (aka. Alice Christine Ho) and I had always gone with the name “Christine” which is somewhat acceptable, and in my formative years as “Chris.” Doctor’s or bank offices love to use the name “Alice” and my last name is often considered to be “Younghusband” versus “Ho Younghusband.” This name thing is tough when you are in academia. You are trying to create a brand with your name, but also some name recognition.
I know this notion of MY NAME seems almost ridiculous to even speak of, but it’s a pain in the (you know what). Now that I reflect on it, on the one hand, I don’t really like my name as a whole (I mean… who’s Alice?), and on the other hand, I don’t seem to have a lot of control what name I would like to go by (even when I ask for it to be noted or changed). Is this a self-knowledge issue? An identity issue? Or sense of agency and belonging issue? If anything, my name has been a struggle. Yes, I could change it, and I tried, but for whatever reason (aka. a system update), my name reverted back to what it was??? When students and peers ask me what my name is and why I had changed my name, I have no answer but a complex and convoluted one. What is more interesting is, it was super awkward to transition into the name “Christine Ho Younghusband” 7 years ago, but now going back to “Christine Younghusband” does not feel right… much like “Christine Ho,” “Alice Younghusband,” or “Alice Christine Ho” are not quite right. Oof. It’s a thing.
I will ponder this situation while being grateful for my freedom and for those who fought in wars to provide freedom to our country. I feel very lucky, regardless of my name.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, November 11th, 2025 | Comments Off on My Name is a Struggle
I cannot believe it’s November. Where has the time gone? Although the family reunions with members from my family from G1 (my dad’s generation), G2 (my generation), and G3 (my kid’s generation) have gathered together in Vancouver this weekend (and the G1 sisters went to Vancouver Island last week with my cousin and her husband), the gathering continues for another couple of days. For me, I’m heading back to work and heading back home to Prince George. That said, I’ve had two and a bit days spending time with my family… reconnecting, getting to know one another, and having good times around food and various activities. One of those activities was curling. From what I am hearing, it was a highlight of the reunion. We went to the Marpole Curling Club and we took sheets 1 and 2. They also had club volunteers to help out with teaching us on how to sweep, throw a rock, and how to play. We were on Ice 1. Our couch was firm, formative, and enthusiastic about the game. Most of my cousins and nieces and nephews never played curling before. My sister, on the other hand, was a like returning home and was a super star!! I, on the other hand, remain injured and helped out with the coaching, took photos, and learned how to play with the stick. I enjoyed learning something new. We had a great time. On Ice 1, we managed to learn how to play and play 3-ends of the game within 2-hours and Ice 2 learned how to sweep and throw rocks. We had a great time. Time flew by before having to leave for dinner at my brother’s place where we had sushi, played intro to Majong, and watched Game 7 of the World Series. The night before, we met at my aunt’s place for Chinese take-out and we watched Game 6, before curling we had dim sum, and last night we went out to the Dynasty Restaurant for an authentic Chinese dinner. Everything was delicious. I really enjoyed connecting with everyone. I loved the photos my cousin shared. I feel very lucky.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, November 03rd, 2025 | Comments Off on Back on the Ice Again
Finally… I am listening to my body. I am always bringing my laptop downstairs with the hopes and intentions of doing work while sitting in my LazyBoy reclining chair and listening to Dr. G. Medical Examiner on YouTube via my TV. Over and over again I engage in this behaviour thinking that the next day will be a new day and I’ll jump into my work. Albert Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results (citation affirmed by Google). I even knew that going to my office upstairs would be the most ideal and only way to get work done, unless I wanted to go to work and sit at my desk there. Anyway, I am HERE, sitting at my desk, upstairs, and blogging, which is a warm-up to doing work. Yay!! I’m here and working!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING WEEKEND!!
Can you believe that it’s mid-October? I cannot. I have no idea where time is going to, but I am grateful to be here with my health, my cat, my kid, my work, and my place where I live. I have a lot to be grateful for and I am. I made turkey dinner last night. It took me about 6-hours to cook, 20-minutes to eat, and a couple of hours to clean up. Wowza. Preparing the dinner for me and my kid took most of my day and there was no way I was getting to any work last night. I also underestimated the time it would take for the turkey to cook and we ate at about 8:30pm last night. It was a late dinner with lots of snacks in between. My kid made note to me that it was a long time since I made turkey dinner. I could not remember when I made turkey dinner last. She said it was likely when I live in my other house. DAMN. That is at least 8-years ago. I’m guessing, but that has been quite some time. Admittedly, I am not looking forward to the next time. I think I’ll do what my twin brother does, especially when I live alone one day. I’ll get turkey dinner from WhiteSpot. Keep it simple. That was a lot of work for 20 minutes of eating.
I also spent the weekend resting. I had a tonne to do, of course, and I am grateful to have this work, but I needed to take a time out. I was not burning out, but I have been spending almost 2 years on focusing on myself and self-care. I am really trying to disengage from the hustle-culture and participate in work that I need to do, want to do, and rest when I need to. My teaching days of Tuesday, Wednesdays, and Thursdays heighten my workload (even though that is my workload). I am also engaged in a few research projects and projects for my department that also takes some of my time. I always appreciate Saturdays as “be a person day” where I can spend that day any way I want, guilt free. It could entail work, or not. All is good. Last week, I hosted a guest speaker in my teacher education class to help facilitate the blanket exercise. It’s a super powerful exercise depicting Canadian history from an Indigenous perspective.
In preparation for this class, I brought the blankets from home. I brought one garbage bag the night before prior to my night class, and a few other bags the next morning. I was so shocked how many people stopped to ask if I needed help. One offered me a ride to the front door. I declined. One person offered to carry a bag the next morning (I was carrying a few), and I accepted. Another person offered to carry a bag back to my car. I refused the help. And, the students in the class helped to set up the room and then folded the blankets after class ended while moving the tables and chairs in places in preparation for the next class. Overall, I was so touched by the gestures. No prompting. No soliciting. People just offered. Strangers to me (with exception to my students). I thought it aligned perfectly to the outcomes of the blanket exercise… meaning, people are kind, compassionate, and generous. My faith in humanity restored, especially after a very emotional and disturbing exercise about Canadian history. Thank you for your kindness.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, October 13th, 2025 | Comments Off on Faith in Humanity
I cannot believe it’s October… and, I cannot believe I’m 55. What an accomplishment. I even tested my blood pressure a couple of days ago at the pharmacy. It was the first time I got “OPTIMAL” with 115/77. Yay for medication!! I also think that I have taken some intentionality to REST and not be burdened or driven by the THE CHASE and trying to prove myself to someone. The only person I need to impress is myself. That thinking and this way of being is pure LIBERATION. Dang. I am really appreciating my 50’s and lots have happened over the last 5 years, and many years prior, to bring to this place. There were definite ups and downs, struggles and victories, but I would not have it any other way. I had to learn exactly what I needed to learn when I did. No regrets. All is good.
I just loved my birthday and how it manifested. I had no expectations. I feel very humbled and loved. Thank you to my students, my kid, and my friends for making the day so special. I am filled with gratitude and happiness. When I look at all of the well-wishes online via social media, DM, text, email, or in-person, I can see how diverse and wonderful my life has been. I often think I lead a “boring” life, but really, I have done many different things in my career and lived in different places. I’m not comparing, but honestly, I loved how diverse the folks were who reached out to wish me happy birthday. How lucky am I? I feel very lucky. I have my health (even though I’m not a super athlete and could eat a little bit better). I have a career of my dreams (I am always focused on learning). And, I have good people (and my cat) in my life. I have lots to be grateful for.
Over the last year or so, I’ve been hyper-focused on rest, doing what I love, and creating boundaries that can sustain my happiness, freedom, and autonomy. This pedagogical journey has not been an easy one, and when I look back, I had to make some critical decisions (knowing or not knowing) that took the left turns to arrive where I am today. I have never felt better. I am finally feeling like more like myself without feeling like I’m having to please or prove myself to someone else. Again, the person I need to impress is me. The person that needs to feel satisfied is me. Turning 55 is a big deal for me and I feel that I am officially starting the third chapter of this life (and I am happy to be here). At 55, my aunt (on my mother’s side) retired from her occupation in banking (very corporate) and when my dad announced his FREEDOM 55 plan, which was to leave the pulp mill and go to China before retiring in the Lower Mainland. What am I looking for?
I am looking for PEACE. I feel very content right now and yet, I feel scattered at times. So many things to do, yet so little time. That said, I have been prioritizing slowing down and pausing when I need to. Unfortunately, things like my DESKTOP, for example, on my computer has a 1000 tabs open and well as my search engine (another 1000 tabs), and lots that I would like to get done, but I am not. Let’s be clear, I am making lots of progress, and I am also finding the courage to find another journal to publish my dissertation (that has taken some time). But I know I can do better. So here are 3 short term goals (while continuing doing what I am doing with respect to rest): (1) clear off my computer desktop (aka., get organized) and write a list of things-to-do in my planner; (2) drink water and eat whole foods (aka., cook at home); and, (3) do some daily exercise (i.e., walk, YouTube videos, go outside, meditate). Small changes can lead to big change.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, October 06th, 2025 | Comments Off on How Many Windows
It’s hard to believe that it’s almost October. I’m still stuck on “where did July go?” Time is certainly flying by. The weather is a good indication that it’s FALL. I do love the rainy weather. It reminds me of the coast. But, I also love the changing colour of the leaves. Fall is my most favourite season in the Central Interior, and this area has four distinct seasons. There is a lot to love about this time of year… and it’s my BIRTHDAY MONTH. Can you believe that I’m turning 55? I can’t. I think that I was 37-years old for a very long time… and now, I’m 55.
I remember when my dad turned 55. We were in Prince Rupert. His birthday is May 19th. So, if he was 55, I was 22 (turning 23 that year). My kid is 22-years old right now. This year is very full circle for me. I have an image in my head (a memory, I suppose) of us having a family dinner at Galaxy Gardens, our Chinese restaurant of choice. We were sitting on the dining room side in one of the closed off areas with the large round tables. My dad was “cutting the cord” with Mark’s tennis ball (don’t ask… LOL) and we presented him with a Canuck jersey with “FREEDOM 55” written on the back of it. Mark must have been graduating from university and my dad was retiring from the pulp mill. Turning 55 was a big deal for my dad and it was a day of celebration.
I’m beginning to question the timing and location of this celebration… soon after he retired, they went to China for a handful of years (to figure out how to make pulp from long grass) and then moved to the Lower Mainland. Mark and I lived in the condominium my parents purchased after they left Prince Rupert. I think the timing is right. I think I just graduated from my Bachelor of Science and hoping to enter the teacher education program after the summer. And yes, I was in Prince Rupert and worked at the gift shop at the Museum of Northern British Columbia. Huh. This memory of my dad’s 55th birthday was very clear… very joyful. And, I do recall there is a photo of us in the restaurant with one image of my dad “cutting the cord” and another image with my dad holding up the jersey. Freedom 55 is not quite how I’m entering this lifespan milestone. I think I’m entering it with lots of gratitude.
First of all, I’m early to mid-career at the university. This employment (hopefully) will not end any time soon (even though I see lots of my friends retiring from the K-12 school system). I am really enjoying the work and I am learning lots. I have finally come to a place in this work where I am very content and feel that I have lots of agency (and freedom) to engage in academia and teaching that brings me a lot of joy and on-purpose to contribute back to K-12 education (and teacher education). I am really enjoying the work and believe that I am where I need to be. Second, I am still living with my kid. This co-habitation has been absolutely wonderful for me. As we both transition into “adulthood,” we are able to live together and support one another in our new home (hence the patio-pic image above). I just love our place and I am very happy living here. We have all the amenities we need, we have space to live (with strata doing lots of the outdoor maintenance), and we love the location. We are only 8 minutes away from the university. Finally, life has taken many left turns to lead us here in Prince George. I have never been happier. And for that, I am grateful.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 28th, 2025 | Comments Off on Gratitude 55
Omg… I cannot believe it’s September. Goodbye summer time!! The summer months flew by… and I enjoyed every moment of it. I was able to take the time to enjoy my place and feel at home. I LOVE BEING AT HOME and I love where I am living. I love the sunsets. I love the space. I love this little community. I feel safe. I feel solace. I feel a lot of gratitude. I am so proud of myself that I am able to have my own place and that I am able take care of my kid as she approaches adulthood. I am super happy with my job and I am grateful for my autonomy, freedom, and agency in my work. It’s truly a dream. I am in a different place and I LOVE what I do, where I am, and who I am.
How lucky am I?
That said, I totally miscalculated how fast that time would go this spring/summer term. This year has been the first spring/summer term where I did not have a course to teach or be responsible for. I had fantasized that I would get a billion things done during this term. Unfortunately, I did achieve everything I wanted to accomplish in four months. If I shared my original ambition to a friend of mine, they would have said it was unreasonable and unrealistic. I’ve taken all summer to understand what SMART goals really mean. It’s ok to spend time resting and appreciating a slower pace to life. I loved it. But now, I find myself cramming to get things done and some things will not get done. Being ambitious is good, but I need to be a bit more reasonable.
What have I accomplished?
First, I have learned how to enjoy quiet time guilt-free and to appreciate taking life at a slow pace. This way of living is 100% refreshing and revitalizing. I am enjoying life as an introvert and feel that I am truly up to my INFP preferences, which is so opposite from being an ESTJ for most of my working life (as a teacher). The transition was gradual to this SLOW-way of being and I’m loving it. Although I did have to partake in a few significant life changes to get here, I have no regrets. I appreciate my own company (with the cat and kid, of course) and the quiet time I have to myself. It’s nourishing. I feel more aligned to the way I want to live my life. I am very thankful that I can do this… and afford this way of being. It’s a privilege I will not take for granted.
Second, I went to a couple of conferences and presented a handful of times. In the spring, I travelled to Toronto, ON to attend CSSE and Congress. I presented a paper at CAARE (Action Research) in collaboration with 3 former teacher candidates (now practicing teachers) about the sit-spot lesson study; I co-presented with the CETE (Climate Education in Teacher Education) research team members at CNIE (Network of Innovation) about the project; I presented (single author) at CATE (Teacher Education) about in-situ learning in my assessment class; and, I presented at a the CASIE (Indigenous Education) roundtable in collaboration with my friend about the 4 R’s and assessment. In the summer, I co-presented with the District Numeracy Teacher and an Elementary Teacher Candidate at the UNBC Teaching and Learning Conference about Numeracy Night at Edgewood. Presenting is a great way to get your work out there and share your interests with others, but also a means to connect with other people, to network, and get inspired for future writing opportunities.
Third, I got some manuscripts, chapters, and a book chapter proposal completed for submission. Although I have a few more manuscripts to attend to (as well as others on the horizon I would like to write about), I am super grateful and thankful for the work and collaborations that was accomplished this spring/summer term. There were two manuscripts submitted by the CETE research team, where I am the third author on both pieces of work. One was resubmitted for publication and the other was recently submitted for a special edition. I submitted two chapters for the Leadership Book to be produced by the School of Education; one chapter was lead by my colleague and the second chapter was led by me. The latter chapter was submitted to be a conference proceeding for a conference from a couple of years ago, but not much had manifested from that. I thought that submitting an updated version to the book would be a better opportunity for the piece to be published. I was glad to return to that piece to make the revisions it needed. Finally, I have submitted another manuscript that needed revisions with another group about cultural adaption of schools. we hope to get a second manuscript out soon to be considered as well. Lastly, I am hoping to get a book review out, but time is running out!! (… or ran out).
It’s September!!
My accomplishments is not an exhaustive list, but rather a list to reflect upon and acknowledge. I have also been working on getting ethics approved for another project I am leading and I hope to be submitting another one for a book chapter proposal I submitted to be co-written with the 3 former teacher candidates mentioned above. We made a submission and then was asked to make some revisions to that proposal to align the work to the theme of the book. They were fair comments and I am greatly appreciating the feedback that has been graciously offered to me during conferences and writing. It’s formative feedback at its finest with the wholehearted intention to make the work (and you) better. I LOVE THAT!! The learning-mindset thrives on it.
OK. Now, it’s back to work on this labour day weekend. Seems counterintuitive, but I would like to get the provisos for this ethics application done. We took a few spins on how the project would proceed (based on the feedback), and it’s taken a few revisions that is taking more time than anticipated to complete. All is good. That is what I am also learning too. If you want to take it SLOW, you have to do a little bit each day to get things done. That’s a difficult lesson for to learn, but a good one. I am finding that taking breaks during your work-span of a project actually is better for the project. I don’t think that the mindset is… it’s taking longer than expected… but rather… it takes time for good things to happen. I’m ok with that. The consequence, I am learning how long it will take to do things and thus, will take on work that I can do. And, that’s it!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 01st, 2025 | Comments Off on You can only control yourself
I’m not sure why I am procrastinating this blog post. I got inspired a few days ago when I rediscovered this box of “cards for self-exploration” on my desk during a Zoom meeting. Admittedly, I had not opened this box. It was still in its plastic wrap and I believe I bought it a few months ago. There are 60 cards and each card has a question for you to answer. The first card asks, “Who are you?” Was this serendipity at play here? I was just in a 2-week cognitive paralysis and existential crisis pondering about “What story do I want to tell?” If anything, from what I have noticed, I am hiding. It’s a strange thing to say for an extrovert. At one time, I loved being with people and being surrounded by people. Now, my preference is staying at home with my cat.
It’s been a crazy journey since 2010. Lots have changed in my life and it’s been a muddle and a mess for most of the time. I chose not to stay the course, leave teaching, and figure things out the hard way. Right now, in 2025, I feel much more balanced, rested, and like myself. I am definitely not the same person as I was and I am very open to figuring out who I am and why it matters. I’ve been wanting to write about my mom, but I also feel that I want to explore my formative years in context to being a second-generation Chinese Canadian woman, who is the youngest of three children, she is a twin, mother of one, and divorced, and she is pursuing a career in academia when many of her edu-peers from her K-12 teaching days are retiring.
What is there to say? Who cares? Why does it matter?
Maybe I’ve been hiding from myself. I don’t want to know… possibly. Or maybe, I have not spent much time investing in myself to know myself. The irony. I teach folk to become teachers and in one of my courses we read “The Heart of a Teacher” by Parker Palmer (1997). He says that there is not one way to be a great teacher. However, he says to be successful as a teacher, you need to know what you are teaching, who you are teaching, and yourself (aka., knowledge of the subject matter, knowledge of the students, and self-knowledge). When you know yourself and are true to yourself in your practice, that vulnerability, identity, and courage can be experienced in your class. I endorse this idea and try to live by it. That said, how much do I know myself and how much am I willing to share? The answer, I’m not sure of.
The COVID-19 pandemic created a lot of havoc in people’s lives. I was grateful that my mom did not have to witness or experience this global event. For me, as one event to mention at this time, turned me around in many ways. Social isolation. Remote teaching. Living alone. I spent a lot of my time blogging and wondering about “what was important to me” and posting “patio pics” on my social media feed as an ongoing joke to myself to entertain myself on the daily not realizing that we would be in pandemic for more than THREE YEARS. There was a lot of personal reflection during that time, but I feel that was just the beginning of this journey to learn more about myself. What people see of me is only a “veneer” of who I really am. Again, at a recent workshop, I introduced a very superficial version of myself, while others went deeper.
I am noticing.
I feel that these KNOW YOURSELF cards can offer some guidance to delve deeper into who I am. Part of my deliberation is to blog about it or start a private journal on my OneDrive at work. I think that I might start that personal journal and maybe write about a reflection on my reflections. That is a good compromise. I wonder if I don’t know a lot about myself because I spent a lot of my time as a child being the #3 child, which transcended into my marriage and workplace such that I was driven by the constant need to “people please” with hopes of being seen in a toxic relationship, when really I was slowly but surely eroding into someone I could no longer recognize. I can say that now. I could not see that before. When you’re in it, you’re blind. I am rebuilding myself. Now, what I see is, POSSIBILITIES. It’s taken me some time to understand my value and to respect who I am. It’s not 100%, but I am getting there.
What story do I want to tell? I guess I need to know more about myself. I am starting to wonder about my inability to promote myself and take action to do what I love or to learn something new so that I can advance my career, for example, is because I don’t know who I am, or at least don’t want to recognize who I am. I think about what Brené Brown says about NUMBING. You cannot numb the bad feelings without numbing the good ones too. Is it the same application here? There is nothing wrong with understanding your strengths and stretches. Again, this is something I teach in one of my teacher education courses and encourage student-teachers to help their students to understand about this as well. My supervisor suggested that I needed to create a digital narrative, much like my students did when I taught the portfolio course. It’s something I can do. The timing is right. It’s 60-days until the fall term.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, July 07th, 2025 | Comments Off on A 60-Day Challenge
Oof. I have been mesmerized over the last couple of days… meaning, I was in an ongoing cognitive paralysis for almost 36-hours + sleeping in for a few hours this morning. It was a lot. I am STUCK or overwhelmed with the idea of “what story do I want to tell.” So, might as well blog about it with hopes of something would emerge from the writing process. Thank goodness for my daughter’s boyfriend for dropping by last night to break the cycle of “whatever I was doing” so that I can get on with life. Also, dropping of a happy meal with all of my favourite items (i.e., cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate milk) “just because” was a very good way to get of my existential funk and engage in a conversation with another human being. It was a good omen, even though he was there to complete a few tasks on behalf of my kid. Kudos. What a good person. 🙂
THE CYCLE IS BROKEN.
As mentioned, I had a slow start this Sunday morning. I fed the cat. I had breakfast. And then, I started working on some editing on a manuscript. Admittedly, it felt good to return to my life again. My friend came over to go for a walk, which was also good to do. I have been wanting to change my way of being in terms of what I am eating and exercise. I am so attuned to my age and menopause, along with other health conditions like my blood pressure, I am compelled to shift my actions in little ways that will benefit me physically, mentally, and spiritually. After listening to my friend’s week… I feel that what I am experiencing is a good thing. I’m not comparing or judging, but if anything, I have some perspective on what’s happening in my reality. I am grateful that one of my biggest issues is my cat and her drive to play with her toy (with me… LOL). I have work to do and I am opportunities to say YES (and no) to. Life is good. I am doing what I love. And, I am ALIVE. So, what story do I want to tell?
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I might have to revitalize my other blog on my UNBC WordPress site, but also, I need to identify what I do that is EXCEPTIONAL and ordinary, of course, to be clear about what I do at work and beyond. It’s not about making of list of all of the things I do, but why do I LOVE these things and WHY does it matter. What I do with my students when they are creating their e-portfolios is to talk about The What (describe what your are doing/have done), the So What (the relevance or importance of this action), and the Now What (consider what you want to learn more about or how you will apply what you have learned to your practice). In doing so, you have to understand your beliefs, values, and efficacy to pursue or engage in a way of being. This advice was given to me… whatever you do with your students, you should do for yourself. NOTED. If I can’t do this for myself, how can I expect others to meet this expectation? I appreciate the reciprocity in this ask, but also there is respect, relevance, and responsibility. I return to Kirkness and Barnhardt’s (1991) Four R’s. With each day and each project I pursue, the Four R’s make more sense. They are the underpinnings to RELATIONSHIPS. If anything, this pursuit is about developing a deeper understanding of my self-knowledge (Palmer, 1997), and therefore about improving my practice.
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE
It’s so interesting that I ended the last paragraph with the word “practice.” That word was resonating in my mind over the last week. There are ups and there are downs. You can keep maintaining the same level of rise over a sustained period of time. Take for example, HAPPINESS. I was very focused on “being happy” in 2024 and now focussing on “what I love” in 2025. There are DIPS in the journey, and the only way you can get better at anything is with PRACTICE. Now that I have “slowed down” at a pace where I am able to “maintain my balance” and “know my bearings”… I can see that I have CHOICE… I have VOICE… and I have AGENCY. This understanding has taken me some time. So, when I was asked about why I submitted an application for an award, at first, I said I was asked to and it was a good exercise to articulate my accomplishments, of which I don’t think I am able to do well… but it has turned out to be a catalyst for CHANGE. I can see now that the last handful of days were meant to disrupt my thinking and way of being. Now, I can see the opportunity and I feel excited about sharing my story and describe why it matters to me… and beyond.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 29th, 2025 | Comments Off on What Story Do I Want To Tell
This week has been an interesting one such that I found myself ploughing through a bag of corn nuts and then a bag of chips the next day followed by 8 dumplings late last night. I can definitely see that I use food as a coping mechanism to avoid, disassociate, or procrastinate the inevitable. Might as well through in some Candy Crush into the mix to help me cope. I wonder if I have to do these things to regulate how I am feeling. On Monday, I had a conversation with someone of which the person was trying to provide some insight, advice, and mentorship. By the end of the conversation, the message sent and received was “what story do you want to tell?” and the comment of “you do this students using portfolios, so what about for yourself?” Oof. That was a big one for me to hear, hence the bag of corn nuts. There is nothing that this person said that was wrong. Where is my INTENTIONALITY? I realized that the only person looking out for me… is ME. I need to stand-up for myself. I need to have my voice. I need to know not just what’s best for me, but I also need to know my strengths, my stretches, and where I want to be because I have value and I am valuable. That’s hard for me to learn and I can see that I need to be reminded from time-to-time to ensure I am staying on task. That night, after eating a bag of corn nuts, I spent a good chunk of that night preparing for a 10-minute presentation I was giving the next day. I decided to do a PowerPoint not knowing if there would be an opportunity to give a short presentation, but I made one anyway. I’m glad that I did because there was not one made for the day and my cover slide served as a placeholder and referent for other guest speakers to refer to. The topic was the School of Education’s signature pedagogy of People, Place, and Land. It was a good way for me to look back at old emails, search information online, and recall some of what I remember in the creation of the signature pedagogy to share with my department. I can see there were only a few of us who were in the department 7 years ago, but also it’s good to share the origin story of the signature pedagogy, the visual representation, and the artist who created it. I remember how I felt about creating the PowerPoint and adding some of my work to the presentation in terms of how I am interpreting and implementing People, Place, and Land into my practice. I was also triggered during my presentation, so much so that I rushed through the presentation in about 5 minutes and spoke about a mile a minute. I don’t know what happened, but I did notice that throughout the day “I was hiding.” I was super fascinated about what folks were saying about themselves and the narratives they have created to describe themselves. I shared nothing (aside from my 5 minutes of mayhem). I felt so grateful for the conversation on Monday, the presentations on Tuesday, and for me to notice that I was hiding. I realized, you cannot be seen if you are hiding. Makes sense, right?
All I know is, Tuesday ended with a bag of chips, Wednesday was filled with meetings and gatherings, and Thursday was spent trying to catch up and go through the day without water at my place. UGH. I had to go to the office (or anywhere) so that I could work in peace (without the cat) and with water. I did not realize that having access to water is a privilege and I am so grateful that I have water. Nevertheless, Thursday ended with a plate of dumplings and hours of Candy Crush. Thankfully, the water is back on and today is Friday, the end of the week. I decided to come up to work to meet up with a colleague to do some work, but also work from my office to get some work done. One of those things is contributing to my portfolio (i.e., blog) to reflect on the week. It’s been a week and I am enjoying my time at the office. It’s quiet. There is a lot of light. And, I’m getting work done without being interrupted by my cat. Don’t get me wrong… I love my cat!! But lately, I am finding that she does not like me working and having long stints of solitude to read and write. She will not have for it. LOL. I am also online to make a commitment to think about WHAT STORY DO I WANT TO TELL. That is such a wonderful question. It takes a different approach from which I thought I was doing and spent a lot of time and effort worrying about what others where thinking and perceiving. I have no control over that, but I do have control over my actions, thoughts, and beliefs. In the past, I was ignore all three aspects to default (or give my power away) to others thinking that I can come back to them another time. There is no other time, sadly. Over the last 5 years or so, it’s been a left turn in my pedagogical journey such that I am learning more about myself and what my needs are and what I like or love to do. This self knowledge is all new to me and I can see now that I was “never really good at” selling myself because I had no idea what I was selling because I was too busy trying to please others. THIS IS LIBERATION. The only person who can free the oppressed is the oppressed (Friere, 1968). That idea took me some time to understand, and now I feel that I am reminded again. I cannot think of a better day to write about this FREEDOM and insight. Today’s is my mom’s birthday. (HBD Mom!!) She would have been 88 years old. I don’t think this is a coincidence. My mom tried to share this learning with me a long time ago, even on her last day of life. I was touched by that and I feel that I am here, once again.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 27th, 2025 | Comments Off on A Bag of Corn Nuts
Oof. I have been mesmerized over the last couple of days… meaning, I was in an ongoing cognitive paralysis for almost 36-hours + sleeping in for a few hours this morning. It was a lot. I am STUCK or overwhelmed with the idea of “what story do I want to tell.” So, might as well blog about it with hopes of something would emerge from the writing process. Thank goodness for my daughter’s boyfriend for dropping by last night to break the cycle of “whatever I was doing” so that I can get on with life. Also, dropping of a happy meal with all of my favourite items (i.e., cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate milk) “just because” was a very good way to get of my existential funk and engage in a conversation with another human being. It was a good omen, even though he was there to complete a few tasks on behalf of my kid. Kudos. What a good person. 🙂