Omg… I cannot believe it’s September. Goodbye summer time!! The summer months flew by… and I enjoyed every moment of it. I was able to take the time to enjoy my place and feel at home. I LOVE BEING AT HOME and I love where I am living. I love the sunsets. I love the space. I love this little community. I feel safe. I feel solace. I feel a lot of gratitude. I am so proud of myself that I am able to have my own place and that I am able take care of my kid as she approaches adulthood. I am super happy with my job and I am grateful for my autonomy, freedom, and agency in my work. It’s truly a dream. I am in a different place and I LOVE what I do, where I am, and who I am.
How lucky am I?
That said, I totally miscalculated how fast that time would go this spring/summer term. This year has been the first spring/summer term where I did not have a course to teach or be responsible for. I had fantasized that I would get a billion things done during this term. Unfortunately, I did achieve everything I wanted to accomplish in four months. If I shared my original ambition to a friend of mine, they would have said it was unreasonable and unrealistic. I’ve taken all summer to understand what SMART goals really mean. It’s ok to spend time resting and appreciating a slower pace to life. I loved it. But now, I find myself cramming to get things done and some things will not get done. Being ambitious is good, but I need to be a bit more reasonable.
What have I accomplished?
First, I have learned how to enjoy quiet time guilt-free and to appreciate taking life at a slow pace. This way of living is 100% refreshing and revitalizing. I am enjoying life as an introvert and feel that I am truly up to my INFP preferences, which is so opposite from being an ESTJ for most of my working life (as a teacher). The transition was gradual to this SLOW-way of being and I’m loving it. Although I did have to partake in a few significant life changes to get here, I have no regrets. I appreciate my own company (with the cat and kid, of course) and the quiet time I have to myself. It’s nourishing. I feel more aligned to the way I want to live my life. I am very thankful that I can do this… and afford this way of being. It’s a privilege I will not take for granted.
Second, I went to a couple of conferences and presented a handful of times. In the spring, I travelled to Toronto, ON to attend CSSE and Congress. I presented a paper at CAARE (Action Research) in collaboration with 3 former teacher candidates (now practicing teachers) about the sit-spot lesson study; I co-presented with the CETE (Climate Education in Teacher Education) research team members at CNIE (Network of Innovation) about the project; I presented (single author) at CATE (Teacher Education) about in-situ learning in my assessment class; and, I presented at a the CASIE (Indigenous Education) roundtable in collaboration with my friend about the 4 R’s and assessment. In the summer, I co-presented with the District Numeracy Teacher and an Elementary Teacher Candidate at the UNBC Teaching and Learning Conference about Numeracy Night at Edgewood. Presenting is a great way to get your work out there and share your interests with others, but also a means to connect with other people, to network, and get inspired for future writing opportunities.
Third, I got some manuscripts, chapters, and a book chapter proposal completed for submission. Although I have a few more manuscripts to attend to (as well as others on the horizon I would like to write about), I am super grateful and thankful for the work and collaborations that was accomplished this spring/summer term. There were two manuscripts submitted by the CETE research team, where I am the third author on both pieces of work. One was resubmitted for publication and the other was recently submitted for a special edition. I submitted two chapters for the Leadership Book to be produced by the School of Education; one chapter was lead by my colleague and the second chapter was led by me. The latter chapter was submitted to be a conference proceeding for a conference from a couple of years ago, but not much had manifested from that. I thought that submitting an updated version to the book would be a better opportunity for the piece to be published. I was glad to return to that piece to make the revisions it needed. Finally, I have submitted another manuscript that needed revisions with another group about cultural adaption of schools. we hope to get a second manuscript out soon to be considered as well. Lastly, I am hoping to get a book review out, but time is running out!! (… or ran out).
It’s September!!
My accomplishments is not an exhaustive list, but rather a list to reflect upon and acknowledge. I have also been working on getting ethics approved for another project I am leading and I hope to be submitting another one for a book chapter proposal I submitted to be co-written with the 3 former teacher candidates mentioned above. We made a submission and then was asked to make some revisions to that proposal to align the work to the theme of the book. They were fair comments and I am greatly appreciating the feedback that has been graciously offered to me during conferences and writing. It’s formative feedback at its finest with the wholehearted intention to make the work (and you) better. I LOVE THAT!! The learning-mindset thrives on it.
OK. Now, it’s back to work on this labour day weekend. Seems counterintuitive, but I would like to get the provisos for this ethics application done. We took a few spins on how the project would proceed (based on the feedback), and it’s taken a few revisions that is taking more time than anticipated to complete. All is good. That is what I am also learning too. If you want to take it SLOW, you have to do a little bit each day to get things done. That’s a difficult lesson for to learn, but a good one. I am finding that taking breaks during your work-span of a project actually is better for the project. I don’t think that the mindset is… it’s taking longer than expected… but rather… it takes time for good things to happen. I’m ok with that. The consequence, I am learning how long it will take to do things and thus, will take on work that I can do. And, that’s it!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 01st, 2025 | Comments Off on You can only control yourself
I’m not sure why I am procrastinating this blog post. I got inspired a few days ago when I rediscovered this box of “cards for self-exploration” on my desk during a Zoom meeting. Admittedly, I had not opened this box. It was still in its plastic wrap and I believe I bought it a few months ago. There are 60 cards and each card has a question for you to answer. The first card asks, “Who are you?” Was this serendipity at play here? I was just in a 2-week cognitive paralysis and existential crisis pondering about “What story do I want to tell?” If anything, from what I have noticed, I am hiding. It’s a strange thing to say for an extrovert. At one time, I loved being with people and being surrounded by people. Now, my preference is staying at home with my cat.
It’s been a crazy journey since 2010. Lots have changed in my life and it’s been a muddle and a mess for most of the time. I chose not to stay the course, leave teaching, and figure things out the hard way. Right now, in 2025, I feel much more balanced, rested, and like myself. I am definitely not the same person as I was and I am very open to figuring out who I am and why it matters. I’ve been wanting to write about my mom, but I also feel that I want to explore my formative years in context to being a second-generation Chinese Canadian woman, who is the youngest of three children, she is a twin, mother of one, and divorced, and she is pursuing a career in academia when many of her edu-peers from her K-12 teaching days are retiring.
What is there to say? Who cares? Why does it matter?
Maybe I’ve been hiding from myself. I don’t want to know… possibly. Or maybe, I have not spent much time investing in myself to know myself. The irony. I teach folk to become teachers and in one of my courses we read “The Heart of a Teacher” by Parker Palmer (1997). He says that there is not one way to be a great teacher. However, he says to be successful as a teacher, you need to know what you are teaching, who you are teaching, and yourself (aka., knowledge of the subject matter, knowledge of the students, and self-knowledge). When you know yourself and are true to yourself in your practice, that vulnerability, identity, and courage can be experienced in your class. I endorse this idea and try to live by it. That said, how much do I know myself and how much am I willing to share? The answer, I’m not sure of.
The COVID-19 pandemic created a lot of havoc in people’s lives. I was grateful that my mom did not have to witness or experience this global event. For me, as one event to mention at this time, turned me around in many ways. Social isolation. Remote teaching. Living alone. I spent a lot of my time blogging and wondering about “what was important to me” and posting “patio pics” on my social media feed as an ongoing joke to myself to entertain myself on the daily not realizing that we would be in pandemic for more than THREE YEARS. There was a lot of personal reflection during that time, but I feel that was just the beginning of this journey to learn more about myself. What people see of me is only a “veneer” of who I really am. Again, at a recent workshop, I introduced a very superficial version of myself, while others went deeper.
I am noticing.
I feel that these KNOW YOURSELF cards can offer some guidance to delve deeper into who I am. Part of my deliberation is to blog about it or start a private journal on my OneDrive at work. I think that I might start that personal journal and maybe write about a reflection on my reflections. That is a good compromise. I wonder if I don’t know a lot about myself because I spent a lot of my time as a child being the #3 child, which transcended into my marriage and workplace such that I was driven by the constant need to “people please” with hopes of being seen in a toxic relationship, when really I was slowly but surely eroding into someone I could no longer recognize. I can say that now. I could not see that before. When you’re in it, you’re blind. I am rebuilding myself. Now, what I see is, POSSIBILITIES. It’s taken me some time to understand my value and to respect who I am. It’s not 100%, but I am getting there.
Oof. I have been mesmerized over the last couple of days… meaning, I was in an ongoing cognitive paralysis for almost 36-hours + sleeping in for a few hours this morning. It was a lot. I am STUCK or overwhelmed with the idea of “what story do I want to tell.” So, might as well blog about it with hopes of something would emerge from the writing process. Thank goodness for my daughter’s boyfriend for dropping by last night to break the cycle of “whatever I was doing” so that I can get on with life. Also, dropping of a happy meal with all of my favourite items (i.e., cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate milk) “just because” was a very good way to get of my existential funk and engage in a conversation with another human being. It was a good omen, even though he was there to complete a few tasks on behalf of my kid. Kudos. What a good person. 🙂
THE CYCLE IS BROKEN.
As mentioned, I had a slow start this Sunday morning. I fed the cat. I had breakfast. And then, I started working on some editing on a manuscript. Admittedly, it felt good to return to my life again. My friend came over to go for a walk, which was also good to do. I have been wanting to change my way of being in terms of what I am eating and exercise. I am so attuned to my age and menopause, along with other health conditions like my blood pressure, I am compelled to shift my actions in little ways that will benefit me physically, mentally, and spiritually. After listening to my friend’s week… I feel that what I am experiencing is a good thing. I’m not comparing or judging, but if anything, I have some perspective on what’s happening in my reality. I am grateful that one of my biggest issues is my cat and her drive to play with her toy (with me… LOL). I have work to do and I am opportunities to say YES (and no) to. Life is good. I am doing what I love. And, I am ALIVE. So, what story do I want to tell?
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I might have to revitalize my other blog on my UNBC WordPress site, but also, I need to identify what I do that is EXCEPTIONAL and ordinary, of course, to be clear about what I do at work and beyond. It’s not about making of list of all of the things I do, but why do I LOVE these things and WHY does it matter. What I do with my students when they are creating their e-portfolios is to talk about The What (describe what your are doing/have done), the So What (the relevance or importance of this action), and the Now What (consider what you want to learn more about or how you will apply what you have learned to your practice). In doing so, you have to understand your beliefs, values, and efficacy to pursue or engage in a way of being. This advice was given to me… whatever you do with your students, you should do for yourself. NOTED. If I can’t do this for myself, how can I expect others to meet this expectation? I appreciate the reciprocity in this ask, but also there is respect, relevance, and responsibility. I return to Kirkness and Barnhardt’s (1991) Four R’s. With each day and each project I pursue, the Four R’s make more sense. They are the underpinnings to RELATIONSHIPS. If anything, this pursuit is about developing a deeper understanding of my self-knowledge (Palmer, 1997), and therefore about improving my practice.
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE
It’s so interesting that I ended the last paragraph with the word “practice.” That word was resonating in my mind over the last week. There are ups and there are downs. You can keep maintaining the same level of rise over a sustained period of time. Take for example, HAPPINESS. I was very focused on “being happy” in 2024 and now focussing on “what I love” in 2025. There are DIPS in the journey, and the only way you can get better at anything is with PRACTICE. Now that I have “slowed down” at a pace where I am able to “maintain my balance” and “know my bearings”… I can see that I have CHOICE… I have VOICE… and I have AGENCY. This understanding has taken me some time. So, when I was asked about why I submitted an application for an award, at first, I said I was asked to and it was a good exercise to articulate my accomplishments, of which I don’t think I am able to do well… but it has turned out to be a catalyst for CHANGE. I can see now that the last handful of days were meant to disrupt my thinking and way of being. Now, I can see the opportunity and I feel excited about sharing my story and describe why it matters to me… and beyond.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 29th, 2025 | Comments Off on What Story Do I Want To Tell
This week has been an interesting one such that I found myself ploughing through a bag of corn nuts and then a bag of chips the next day followed by 8 dumplings late last night. I can definitely see that I use food as a coping mechanism to avoid, disassociate, or procrastinate the inevitable. Might as well through in some Candy Crush into the mix to help me cope. I wonder if I have to do these things to regulate how I am feeling. On Monday, I had a conversation with someone of which the person was trying to provide some insight, advice, and mentorship. By the end of the conversation, the message sent and received was “what story do you want to tell?” and the comment of “you do this students using portfolios, so what about for yourself?” Oof. That was a big one for me to hear, hence the bag of corn nuts. There is nothing that this person said that was wrong. Where is my INTENTIONALITY? I realized that the only person looking out for me… is ME. I need to stand-up for myself. I need to have my voice. I need to know not just what’s best for me, but I also need to know my strengths, my stretches, and where I want to be because I have value and I am valuable. That’s hard for me to learn and I can see that I need to be reminded from time-to-time to ensure I am staying on task. That night, after eating a bag of corn nuts, I spent a good chunk of that night preparing for a 10-minute presentation I was giving the next day. I decided to do a PowerPoint not knowing if there would be an opportunity to give a short presentation, but I made one anyway. I’m glad that I did because there was not one made for the day and my cover slide served as a placeholder and referent for other guest speakers to refer to. The topic was the School of Education’s signature pedagogy of People, Place, and Land. It was a good way for me to look back at old emails, search information online, and recall some of what I remember in the creation of the signature pedagogy to share with my department. I can see there were only a few of us who were in the department 7 years ago, but also it’s good to share the origin story of the signature pedagogy, the visual representation, and the artist who created it. I remember how I felt about creating the PowerPoint and adding some of my work to the presentation in terms of how I am interpreting and implementing People, Place, and Land into my practice. I was also triggered during my presentation, so much so that I rushed through the presentation in about 5 minutes and spoke about a mile a minute. I don’t know what happened, but I did notice that throughout the day “I was hiding.” I was super fascinated about what folks were saying about themselves and the narratives they have created to describe themselves. I shared nothing (aside from my 5 minutes of mayhem). I felt so grateful for the conversation on Monday, the presentations on Tuesday, and for me to notice that I was hiding. I realized, you cannot be seen if you are hiding. Makes sense, right?
All I know is, Tuesday ended with a bag of chips, Wednesday was filled with meetings and gatherings, and Thursday was spent trying to catch up and go through the day without water at my place. UGH. I had to go to the office (or anywhere) so that I could work in peace (without the cat) and with water. I did not realize that having access to water is a privilege and I am so grateful that I have water. Nevertheless, Thursday ended with a plate of dumplings and hours of Candy Crush. Thankfully, the water is back on and today is Friday, the end of the week. I decided to come up to work to meet up with a colleague to do some work, but also work from my office to get some work done. One of those things is contributing to my portfolio (i.e., blog) to reflect on the week. It’s been a week and I am enjoying my time at the office. It’s quiet. There is a lot of light. And, I’m getting work done without being interrupted by my cat. Don’t get me wrong… I love my cat!! But lately, I am finding that she does not like me working and having long stints of solitude to read and write. She will not have for it. LOL. I am also online to make a commitment to think about WHAT STORY DO I WANT TO TELL. That is such a wonderful question. It takes a different approach from which I thought I was doing and spent a lot of time and effort worrying about what others where thinking and perceiving. I have no control over that, but I do have control over my actions, thoughts, and beliefs. In the past, I was ignore all three aspects to default (or give my power away) to others thinking that I can come back to them another time. There is no other time, sadly. Over the last 5 years or so, it’s been a left turn in my pedagogical journey such that I am learning more about myself and what my needs are and what I like or love to do. This self knowledge is all new to me and I can see now that I was “never really good at” selling myself because I had no idea what I was selling because I was too busy trying to please others. THIS IS LIBERATION. The only person who can free the oppressed is the oppressed (Friere, 1968). That idea took me some time to understand, and now I feel that I am reminded again. I cannot think of a better day to write about this FREEDOM and insight. Today’s is my mom’s birthday. (HBD Mom!!) She would have been 88 years old. I don’t think this is a coincidence. My mom tried to share this learning with me a long time ago, even on her last day of life. I was touched by that and I feel that I am here, once again.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 27th, 2025 | Comments Off on A Bag of Corn Nuts
June 16, 2025 – Happy Belated Asian Heritage Month
Asian Heritage Month was last month. It’s taken this time to everything to slow down enough for me to go through my emails, feel rested, and to have the will to get on to other work. April was spent closing off the winter teaching term and transitioning to a non-teaching term. May was spent preparing for the CSSE 2025 conference in Toronto, finish off someone’s practicum, and tidy up loose ends from other work I was doing. Admittedly, it was a messy (mental) month. I could not believe how soon CSSE 2025 came up and voilĂ , it’s June. I have to look at my calendar to see what’s I’ve actually done. There was convocation and other manuscripts I have been working on otherwise. I can see was very scrambley up until yesterday. I just had to give myself the permission to just be and there will always be tomorrow. Well, tomorrow is today. And I feel 100%. I feel that I can proceed with life and work with an intentional step. It feels good that I can be intentional and not feel pressured or expected to do something, even though I have a few things to do. It feels good to have agency.
Today, I was looking over some of the emails I keep open and on my desktop to address. Some emails have expired while others are re-read and then minimized to be dealt with at a later time. Yesterday, I was looking for LEADERSHIP FOR CHANGE literature for a course I am teaching in the fall. I found one on DIVERSITY LEADERSHIP co-edited by a person who worked at the university. I downloaded on of the chapters that looked at Chinese Canadian Women and Leadership. Of course, this chapter would capture my attention. Today, I finally opened up the Asian Heritage Month email from the Knowledge Network and just finished watching a documentary on Amy Tan and her life/career as an Asian American and author. Finally, when I was in Toronto for CSSE, I stayed at my aunt’s place, who lived only a 20-minute walk from the conference site and she is one of the younger sisters of my mom. My mom was the second oldest in her family. It was nice when my aunt and I connected that we spoke of my mom from time to time. The conversations brought me a lot of solace.
The images of the flowers above and below are ones that I got for my aunt to say thank you for letting me stay at her place during the conference. Although my aunt lived so close to the conference venue, there were very few places where I could by “a gift” for my aunt that was not a souvenir of Toronto, Canada. Across the street from one of the conference venue sites was Loblaws. I love that name. I always thought it was a funny word when I was a little kid. I even took a selfie in front of the store’s entrance because I thought it was funny. See below. First of all, Toronto was fairly hot that day, so the air conditioning was welcomed. Second, this place was HUGE. They had a Starbucks and so many lunch options. I was seriously looking around for something to eat that day. I was not a big fan of having to “eat out” everyday for meals at the conference, so I got Sushi, chicken wings, and an iced tea that day. It was exactly what I needed. Finally, there was a florist and other things to buy for gifts for my aunt. I got her some flowers (see photos), a thermos, and a couple of mugs.
I had just learned from chatting with my aunt that she loves PURPLE. I had no idea. This colour preference was verified by her closet near the exit/entrance to her place of which was filled with many purple coloured jackets. LOL. Confirmed. She likes purple. Also, her place was recently renovated and her bedroom has a slight purple tint on the walls and her office with pink. The rest of the walls were neutral. Subtle, but not so subtle. LOL. I shared this colour preference with the florist. I was very conflicted because the pre-made bouquets were not predominantly purple. There were purple flowers, but not as a bouquet. A long story made short, the florist suggested that yellow was a good complementary colour to purple and made her this beautiful bouquet. I could not be more grateful. As you can see from the top and bottom images that my aunt made two flower arrangements. There were too many flowers to fit into one vase, so she made two. I love them both. I bring up this story because her act of flower arranging reminded me of my mom. I loved that so much. My aunt also shared with me that my mom said that she liked the water (as demonstrated by all the art images of water in her place), because I too made that comment. Finally, at one of our meals out, I was watching the food come out, and my aunt commented that my mom would do the same thing. Ah yes… learned behaviour. I’m not shy about that, neither was my mom, because she was a foodie at heart.
My tribute to Asian Heritage Month is really a time during the year when I can remember my mom and think about the ancestry I have acquired from her. I do give my mom a lot of credit for this acquisition. I often felt disconnected from my dad. Was it because we are very similar people? That’s what some people say. I think that I give more credit to my mom is because she made an effort to stand by me and she always wanted the best for me, but for me to realize it for myself. I miss my mom and I think my love for Chinese food only resembles hers, and that it was our common attachment, tangible connection, or love language to our heritage.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 16th, 2025 | Comments Off on Asian Heritage Month 2025
Of all the photos to share of my friend, I chose the image of doughnuts that were offered post the Celebration of Life. They also served my friend’s favourite tea. I had the pink doughnut and sencha tea. I loved that these were two of her favourite things (doughnuts from a place a cannot remember… and loose leaf tea)… and that there were choices. #ClassicTeacher. Offering choice and agency to everyone at the celebration. What a wonderful way to remember and honour my friend. I loved it!!
I took many photos at the event. I shared some of the edu-selfies with folks who knew my friend from the teacher education world. I posted those photos on my some of my social media feeds. And, I took photos of the various speakers at the Celebration of Life. I thought it was a wonderful compilation of folks who spoke very highly of my friend. People from her church, workplace, UBC, Pacific Academy, friends, and her family all spoke about my friend in different ways with similar threads and themes.
Some stories shared provided moments of laughter, while other moments felt reflective and affirming. She was a strong and determined person. She was passionate, competitive, and driven. She was a helper. She loved her kids. She fell in love with her life partner at work. She was a committed and devoted educator, counsellor, coach, researcher, and teacher educator. She was a whole bunch of things, many of which I can confirm is all true. She went above and beyond… always.
Maybe not spoken, but I am realizing that I was also afforded the opportunity to get to know the more vulnerable side of her… as a friend and colleague. We spoke lots about what it meant to be a second-generation Canadian-Asian woman in BC Schools and in higher education. We talked a lot about our pedagogical journeys, our families, and our struggles. She always needed a little boost from time to time, but I am realizing she played that role for many others as a mentor, teacher, and friend.
I’m not sure why I feel somewhat reluctant to share the image of my friend on this blog post, and that my first choices were the food that was served outside of the church post-celebration. But what I do know for sure, she was a good friend, an advocate for humanity and equity, and a very smart person. Everyone at the event said that about her. I feel the same way. In some ways, I hope that she knew that as well. It was something that she always strived for, and she was always succeeding.
I guess I will share one story of my friend. I first met her in 2019 at the CAfLN conference in Vancouver, BC. At the time, Twitter was HOT with the educators and she knew me from the social media platform. At the time, I was not in a good place… emotionally and spiritually. I was in a state of transition and admittedly, it was rough. She bounces in and says, “HELLO,” introduces herself, and tried to lift my spirits up with her warmth, kindness, and enthusiasm. Since that day, it never stopped.
Perhaps it stopped in the physical world, but my friend is always in my heart. I feel sad just writing about this and how I am not able to say hello to call her up or take a selfie or to meet somewhere for coffee to chat. I will miss my friend greatly and deeply. I am sure that many others feel the same way as I do. This is not the way she thought it would end, and she struggled and fought for every minute, hour, and day to be with her kids. The journey of saying goodbye could not have been easy.
Every time we texted, sent a voice message, or have a Zoom conversation… I thought it would be the last time I would see her or hear from her. Selfish, I know… but she always seemed to hang in there, made the effort to connect, and she was always thinking of others. That was in her nature. I am grateful for our time together. I am also grateful that she is now at peace and pain free. The fought a good fight and she was determined to win. However, she had the grace and strength to let go.
My friend taught me many lessons since her diagnosis on September 29, 2023. I remember her telling me on the phone at 4:30am. I didn’t know what to say, but to listen. I could her her frustration, anger, and disbelief. I can understand her feelings. She was just on the path that she worked so hard for and deserved. My learning from her last year and a half was, just live your life. Be happy. Nothing in life can be that serious or taken that seriously. Love what you do, rest, and savour every moment.
At CSSE 2023 at York University. She was doing her PhD at UBC… busy and darn proud.In White Rock… I’m guessing in 2021 or 2022. Her hospitality and generosity were unsurpassed.Our first selfie… in 2019 at CAfLN. So up lifting…Â (PS. We had many selfies together).
I love you, my friend. I will miss you greatly. Rest in peace. XO.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 10th, 2025 | Comments Off on Celebrating a Friend
Can you believe that this is the third time I’ve blogged with this title? “Do what you love.” I’m not surprised. It never hurts to remind myself, but also I’m in that mindset, particularly when my #OneWord2025 is LOVE. Gosh… it took me months to commit to that word and now I’m “in love” with my one word. It takes time for the one-word to take hold, but I am realizing that LOVE was a natural next step from HAPPY. So, this blog post is going to talk about a few things that “I love” to do. It’s fun to do this.
First, I am so happy to be doing my weekly blog only on one website versus two. I was maintaining two websites, thus two blogs, for a year or so because I lost access to this website a few years ago and I was making a website for some courses I taught at the university. Now, I have access to this website (due to serendipity and good luck) and I’m no longer teaching portfolio in the M.Ed. or B.Ed. programs. I don’t need a work portfolio. It has taken me a few months to “let go” but I’m good with only one blog.
Second, I am really getting into thrifting. It was something I did out of utility when I first moved to Prince George, and my kid liked to go thrifting to buy clothes and such when she was younger. We both stopped for a few years and now I’m just getting back into it. I found some flower vases, led crystal pieces, and some unexpected wins. Just the other day, I bought a Corningware set on Facebook Marketplace as part of an estate sale. (See photo). I love these pieces and got a great deal on them. It’s too fun.
Finally, my last mention of “doing what I love” is beading. A former student of mine reached out to me and asked if I wanted to go out on Wednesday nights to bead. It’s a 3-hour session and I just LOVE IT. I know in the fall that I will be teaching a night class, but for the spring and summer, this connection with the former student and all those in this beading group has been absolutely blissful. The 3 hours just fly by and I’m enjoying returning to what brings me a lot of joy and time to hone my beading skills.
I have so much to be grateful for and these are only a few examples of “doing what I love.” It feels good to prioritize my interests and learning how to embrace change and navigate in ways that go with the flow and be open to the present. I’m just in LOVE.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 24th, 2025 | Comments Off on Do What You Love
The fair came by last week. My kid and I walked over to the fair to walk around and pick up a bag of mini-doughnuts. We shared the bag before heading out for lunch. It was a gorgeous day and the doughnuts were pretty good too. It was the last week my kid “off” from school before starting her summer job at the hospital as an ESN (employed student nurse). She’s on her night shift as I write. It’s a new way of being for me. Not only have I splurged on a Nespresso coffee maker (for Mother’s Day) and enjoy an espresso con panna anytime of day at home, I am also in love with my cat (of which I am watching in the corner of my eye playing a new toy I got her earlier tonight). Is this how life is going to be? Me… the cat lady!! My kid will also be going away to complete her 5-week clinical as well as part of Year 3 of her program. I think that will be the real test. She will be leaving “the nest” soon… Year 4 will come and go. I am so grateful that my kid chose to come with me to Prince George during the “turbulent years.” I could not have transition to “my independence” without her.
I can’t believe that this is my 21st Mother’s Day. It doesn’t feel like 21 times. I can celebrate this day every year with LOVE and joy. As mentioned, I bought myself a Nespresso (and LOVE it) and I got myself a pottery mug from the art gallery as well (for Mother’s Day). As you can see, I’m not shy. But, my kid will be coming home after her shift at 7am on Mother’s Day and likely sound asleep when I wake up. Please note, I’m writing this blog post in the middle of the night because I am WIDE AWAKE from my expresso earlier tonight. I needed a boost to get on with my day, but now I’m alert. LOL. Hence, I’m writing about Mother’s Day in the future tense. Yes, it’s Mother’s Day right now… but it’s just after midnight. My cat is not a fan of me staying up late, but I realized tonight that I love being going out for a walk in the evening (ie., going to Walmart or the Superstore in Prince George) and I am truly a “late to bed, late to rise” kind of person. As much as I would like to be an early to bed, early to rise person… it will NEVER happen. Trust me, I’ve tried. But what I am realizing is, I am on my own.
There is nothing wrong with being independent, but I am acknowledging that my kid is growing up. She’s an adult and she too will be independent. Parenting… no one really talks about these transitions. My kid taught me so much about life (i.e., having an Nespresso… I don’t think I can go back to the Keurig, which is hers as well). Sigh. So, with this change in momentum with my kid and me as she continues to engage in her nursing program and work, I am learning how to be the “new” me. I am also trying to wean myself off my phone. I’m so done with that thing, but I am have horrible habits to break. I was inspired by a YouTube video done by a fellow BC Educator’s kid, Makari Espe, “How I cut my screentime by 80%.” I will start my Mother’s Day with having my phone charging downstairs, that is, one floor away from my bedroom. So much time is SUCKED away when I have my phone near my bed. I have took off some apps already, but I will be replacing my phone with reading. Let’s see how this goes.
Mother’s Day is about celebrating yourself… and LOVE my kid. I have also decided to commit to my weekly blog with this WordPress site and I am taking a break from my other WordPress site related to my work at the university. I am no longer teaching any courses that has EdTech and portfolios, so modelling how to create and develop a website as a platform for reflective practice is no longer needed. Again, change. I think the real gift I can give myself is creating change rather than respond to change (that happens to me). It’s not one or the other, but what I want to say is… I’m moving forward. And, I can do this!! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!! PS: I love being a mom!! xo
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 11th, 2025 | Comments Off on Onto the Next Step
As we approach the end of the month and transition to the spring/summer term, I took a moment to visit my family in the Lower Mainland. My cousin and her family came from Boston to Vancouver for a week or so to visit the west coast, and I also had a short visit a niece, nephew, and aunty who also live in Vancouver. I stayed at my brother’s place for a few days. He hosted a family dinner gathering one night and my sister hosted another. On my last day, my sister, brother, and my dad got together to have dim sum, but also visit my mom at the cemetery. We bought her new (fake) flowers for her resting place. Tulips. Very seasonal, but also very MOM. She loved tulips and it’s one of my memories of her when we visited the tulip farms in Abbotsford. We also had pizza that day. It was a good day and memory of mom.
I’m not sure what it will take to get me motivated enough… or ready enough… to engage in an autoethnography. When my mom passed away in 2018, I wanted to write about those 20-days (and my relationship with my mom) to investigate my ethnic identity but in particular write about belonging, self-efficacy, and positionality. I had a wonderful conversation with my cousin one night at my sister’s talking about my mom and sharing with her what I loved about my mom and why she was so special. Was that enough? I have very good memories of my mom, not limited to those 20-days, but I also have some challenging ones. It’s almost like I want to learn more about her so that I can get a better understanding of myself, but also how I make sense of the world in context to my family. I needed to learn about myself.
I am a second-generation Chinese Canadian. I was born and raised in Prince Rupert, BC. I don’t have any language (i.e., Cantonese) or engage in any cultural practices related to my ancestry. I was essentially assimilated to Canadian culture and language by my parents and Canadian society and institutions (even though my parents spoke Cantonese) such that I spent the first half-century of my life denying my cultural heritage and ethnic identity. When George Floyd died in 2020, I was struck by the question: Can I deny who I am for much longer or do I need to step up and “be ok” with being Chinese? A weird question, but it’s one that I had wrestled with for many, many years. Also around this time, I graduated with my doctorate in 2017, my mom passed away in 2018, and I separated from my husband in 2019. I moved away from my family in 2018 to pursue a job, we faced the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, and I lived in my house during the pandemic until my kid moved up with me in 2021.
Up until this point, I was not living my life for myself and I had a lot of misconceptions about “the world.” In 2021, I was starting life all over again and it took a few years to finally find myself, my autonomy, and my agency as a person and academic. Even though I wanted to write about my mom in 2018, I couldn’t. Not because of the persistent crying and sadness, but because I was not whole or ready to write about and examine my experiences in a reasonable and realistic way. Lots was happening, and I was learning more about me. I had to look this up, but I divorced in 2023 (only 2-years ago) and I bought my own place last year (only 5-months ago). My kid continues to live with me and she is finishing up her third year in the nursing program. I am no longer angry, nor am I feeling oppressed or distant from myself.
Now, I know that I am my only agent and advocate. I choose how I would like to see life to be and to do what I love to do to find my purpose, my happiness, and my joy in life. I don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations but my own. The only person I need to prove anything to is myself. I never felt that way before (in my past life) but now I understand that my happiness is my own. I create what I see. I needed this time to “feel” ready to write. Well, I think there is no better time than the present. I was already looking at autoethnography resources (again) during this blog post and thinking about how I will go about collecting data (i.e., journals, self-reflection, interviews, etc.). I am ready. Being with my family this last week helped. Many of my aunties and uncles are still alive as well (in addition to my dad). It’s an opportunity to learn more about my mom and learn more about my identity and belonging.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 29th, 2025 | Comments Off on Being with Family
March 16, 2025 – Remembering My Mom in Different Ways
Last week I visited my mom’s resting place in the Lower Mainland. I’m not even sure if that’s what it is called. Her ashes are in an urn, in a glass enclosed shelf, in a building at the cemetery last week. I had visited Vancouver a few times over the last few months, but mostly those visits were related to work and I did not have the opportunity to go visit her. Last week was a weekend trip FOR ME and my brother had borrowed my dad’s car and we went out there to go visit her. I like to keep her updated on what’s happening and to say hello. It’s strange to go visit her. The photo of her that’s by her urn was taken before I was born. It’s not how I remember her as a child, but it’s a photo that she chose that she thought that best represented her. I remember when my mom was alive when she first invested in this resting place for her and my dad. She got name plates and everything. She wanted to take each of her children out to this site complemented with a lunch out at the golf course. By the time it got to my turn, I said… NO THIANK YOU… and that I would visit her when she was at the place, I had no desire to check out her resting place otherwise. So, there I was last week saying hello. A few thoughts shared and a few bows, all was good.
Now that I’m back home and lots of uncertainty with the economy, etc., I am very conscious about what I buy and how much I am spending. I have to pay utilities and property tax right now, and I have no idea what I have to pay for income tax, who knows what I will have to spend in the next few days, months, and years. The idea of going into a recession does not put my mind to ease by any means, but I will admit that I am more conscious about my spending habits and how much things cost as we anticipate rising costs and how much I used to spend. In the end, saving money and minimizing my spending is going to be key. I’ve cancelled a few memberships, and I wanted to cancel my cable package, but it seems like the company is no longer providing a basic cable package. I just need to find places to spend less, even though I am investing dollars in self-care. Strangely, I am just understanding it’s importance and the value in investing in those things like massages and therapy. Nonetheless, I am feeling very aware of money, with my mom whispering in my ear the importance of saving money. It was incredible how much money she was able to save. She was amazing at it. It almost reminds me of “extreme coupon,” the TV reality show.
As a kid, I remembered when we went shopping that my mom would by X-bread. This bread was found in a basket at the supermarket and it had a black X written on top of the price tag. Now as an adult, I know that the X-bread was day-old bread. Stale bread. And this bread was on sale for 50% off. I could never understand why she chose this bread. It almost seemed like she was insistent in buying this bread and I really did not like it. My dad would wake up every morning to have this bread. He would toast it, add peanut butter and honey to them, and he would eat it with a cup of Red Rose tea with milk and sugar. That was his morning ritual. I clearly remember him doing that and sipping from his tea cup. Til this day, I’m not a break-fan. It’s not my favourite even though I find myself toasting it as well, but to have an open-faced egg salad sandwich (of which was not my mom’s favourite). She was saving money. I know that now. So, when I bought this loaf of bread from the Superstore a couple of days ago, I thought of my mom. It was almost a compromise. I’m thinking about how much things cost and it was a fresh loaf of bread, but it cost $1.25. It this economy, it’s a steal. This loaf of bread will last us a long time. On the counter for a few days while it’s fresh, then it goes back into the fridge to have toast like my dad did.
Bread is still not my favourite, but I respect my mom who did what it took to make things happen. I have a huge regard for her and I realize now that I may not have acknowledged a lot that she has done. Admittedly, I never noticed until she had passed away 7-years ago. All of what she used to do for me, my siblings, and my dad are astounding. I had no idea. It’s moment like these when I am reminded that I want to write about my mom… maybe as an autoethnography or biography… not sure. As each day passes and I am “doing the work,” I am building up the courage to bring pen to paper. I will wait for this term to end and make a plan soon after. I had no idea how much of an impact my mom has made on me. I guess you don’t know until you know.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 16th, 2025 | Comments Off on Almost Like X-Bread
Oof. I have been mesmerized over the last couple of days… meaning, I was in an ongoing cognitive paralysis for almost 36-hours + sleeping in for a few hours this morning. It was a lot. I am STUCK or overwhelmed with the idea of “what story do I want to tell.” So, might as well blog about it with hopes of something would emerge from the writing process. Thank goodness for my daughter’s boyfriend for dropping by last night to break the cycle of “whatever I was doing” so that I can get on with life. Also, dropping of a happy meal with all of my favourite items (i.e., cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate milk) “just because” was a very good way to get of my existential funk and engage in a conversation with another human being. It was a good omen, even though he was there to complete a few tasks on behalf of my kid. Kudos. What a good person. 🙂
