How Many Windows
October 6, 2025 – Starting Anew… TBD
I cannot believe it’s October… and, I cannot believe I’m 55. What an accomplishment. I even tested my blood pressure a couple of days ago at the pharmacy. It was the first time I got “OPTIMAL” with 115/77. Yay for medication!! I also think that I have taken some intentionality to REST and not be burdened or driven by the THE CHASE and trying to prove myself to someone. The only person I need to impress is myself. That thinking and this way of being is pure LIBERATION. Dang. I am really appreciating my 50’s and lots have happened over the last 5 years, and many years prior, to bring to this place. There were definite ups and downs, struggles and victories, but I would not have it any other way. I had to learn exactly what I needed to learn when I did. No regrets. All is good.
I just loved my birthday and how it manifested. I had no expectations. I feel very humbled and loved. Thank you to my students, my kid, and my friends for making the day so special. I am filled with gratitude and happiness. When I look at all of the well-wishes online via social media, DM, text, email, or in-person, I can see how diverse and wonderful my life has been. I often think I lead a “boring” life, but really, I have done many different things in my career and lived in different places. I’m not comparing, but honestly, I loved how diverse the folks were who reached out to wish me happy birthday. How lucky am I? I feel very lucky. I have my health (even though I’m not a super athlete and could eat a little bit better). I have a career of my dreams (I am always focused on learning). And, I have good people (and my cat) in my life. I have lots to be grateful for.
Over the last year or so, I’ve been hyper-focused on rest, doing what I love, and creating boundaries that can sustain my happiness, freedom, and autonomy. This pedagogical journey has not been an easy one, and when I look back, I had to make some critical decisions (knowing or not knowing) that took the left turns to arrive where I am today. I have never felt better. I am finally feeling like more like myself without feeling like I’m having to please or prove myself to someone else. Again, the person I need to impress is me. The person that needs to feel satisfied is me. Turning 55 is a big deal for me and I feel that I am officially starting the third chapter of this life (and I am happy to be here). At 55, my aunt (on my mother’s side) retired from her occupation in banking (very corporate) and when my dad announced his FREEDOM 55 plan, which was to leave the pulp mill and go to China before retiring in the Lower Mainland. What am I looking for?
I am looking for PEACE. I feel very content right now and yet, I feel scattered at times. So many things to do, yet so little time. That said, I have been prioritizing slowing down and pausing when I need to. Unfortunately, things like my DESKTOP, for example, on my computer has a 1000 tabs open and well as my search engine (another 1000 tabs), and lots that I would like to get done, but I am not. Let’s be clear, I am making lots of progress, and I am also finding the courage to find another journal to publish my dissertation (that has taken some time). But I know I can do better. So here are 3 short term goals (while continuing doing what I am doing with respect to rest): (1) clear off my computer desktop (aka., get organized) and write a list of things-to-do in my planner; (2) drink water and eat whole foods (aka., cook at home); and, (3) do some daily exercise (i.e., walk, YouTube videos, go outside, meditate). Small changes can lead to big change.