Could I be immersed in an existential moment? Possibly. First of all, I feel inspired to contribute to my blog. I believe that this is my third blog post for the week and there might be more. The frequency of inspiration to contribute to my blog post and to reflect is wonderful. I was struggling for quite some time to contribute weekly to 2 WordPress sites. Now that I have returned to one website, while the other one is “on pause” has brought me much joy and freedom. I am blogging because “I want to” versus the “I have to.” The latter is how I’ve led my life and I am learning how to live differently… to live for ME.
As narcissistic as that may sound, what I mean is… it’s ok to be “selfish”… to care for oneself… to do what you LOVE!! Understanding what you love and then doing what you love… is FREEDOM. To do this successfully, you have to live in the moment. Be present. Oh my goodness… I’ve lived in the past for decades, tried to cater my life for an unforeseen future, and based my life on what I thought others expected from me. Thank goodness I have realized that this is all a LIE. For the last couple of years, I’ve been reclaiming my life and I am getting closer to “my best life.” I have never felt better and I am learning how to not take other people’s behaviours personally. I have agency. I have choice.
Vice versa… I can say what I mean. It’s not personal. Also, I’ve been learning to slow down, say “no” to things, and prioritize my health and wellness. My happiness and joy matters. I cherish the little things. My mom passed away 7 years ago and my good friend passed away last month. You cannot take life to granted or take things too seriously. All you can do is, do the best you can (without losing yourself in the process). Father’s Day just happened last weekend and I looked through my Facebook pics to find selfies with me and my dad. I have no idea when I took this screenshot or what we were both doing that day, but I have to say, it’s one of my favourite photos.
If anything, the image brings a smile to my face. Hi DAD!! Find your joy. Be happy.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 18th, 2025 | No Comments »
June 16, 2025 – Happy Belated Asian Heritage Month
Asian Heritage Month was last month. It’s taken this time to everything to slow down enough for me to go through my emails, feel rested, and to have the will to get on to other work. April was spent closing off the winter teaching term and transitioning to a non-teaching term. May was spent preparing for the CSSE 2025 conference in Toronto, finish off someone’s practicum, and tidy up loose ends from other work I was doing. Admittedly, it was a messy (mental) month. I could not believe how soon CSSE 2025 came up and voilà, it’s June. I have to look at my calendar to see what’s I’ve actually done. There was convocation and other manuscripts I have been working on otherwise. I can see was very scrambley up until yesterday. I just had to give myself the permission to just be and there will always be tomorrow. Well, tomorrow is today. And I feel 100%. I feel that I can proceed with life and work with an intentional step. It feels good that I can be intentional and not feel pressured or expected to do something, even though I have a few things to do. It feels good to have agency.
Today, I was looking over some of the emails I keep open and on my desktop to address. Some emails have expired while others are re-read and then minimized to be dealt with at a later time. Yesterday, I was looking for LEADERSHIP FOR CHANGE literature for a course I am teaching in the fall. I found one on DIVERSITY LEADERSHIP co-edited by a person who worked at the university. I downloaded on of the chapters that looked at Chinese Canadian Women and Leadership. Of course, this chapter would capture my attention. Today, I finally opened up the Asian Heritage Month email from the Knowledge Network and just finished watching a documentary on Amy Tan and her life/career as an Asian American and author. Finally, when I was in Toronto for CSSE, I stayed at my aunt’s place, who lived only a 20-minute walk from the conference site and she is one of the younger sisters of my mom. My mom was the second oldest in her family. It was nice when my aunt and I connected that we spoke of my mom from time to time. The conversations brought me a lot of solace.
The images of the flowers above and below are ones that I got for my aunt to say thank you for letting me stay at her place during the conference. Although my aunt lived so close to the conference venue, there were very few places where I could by “a gift” for my aunt that was not a souvenir of Toronto, Canada. Across the street from one of the conference venue sites was Loblaws. I love that name. I always thought it was a funny word when I was a little kid. I even took a selfie in front of the store’s entrance because I thought it was funny. See below. First of all, Toronto was fairly hot that day, so the air conditioning was welcomed. Second, this place was HUGE. They had a Starbucks and so many lunch options. I was seriously looking around for something to eat that day. I was not a big fan of having to “eat out” everyday for meals at the conference, so I got Sushi, chicken wings, and an iced tea that day. It was exactly what I needed. Finally, there was a florist and other things to buy for gifts for my aunt. I got her some flowers (see photos), a thermos, and a couple of mugs.
I had just learned from chatting with my aunt that she loves PURPLE. I had no idea. This colour preference was verified by her closet near the exit/entrance to her place of which was filled with many purple coloured jackets. LOL. Confirmed. She likes purple. Also, her place was recently renovated and her bedroom has a slight purple tint on the walls and her office with pink. The rest of the walls were neutral. Subtle, but not so subtle. LOL. I shared this colour preference with the florist. I was very conflicted because the pre-made bouquets were not predominantly purple. There were purple flowers, but not as a bouquet. A long story made short, the florist suggested that yellow was a good complementary colour to purple and made her this beautiful bouquet. I could not be more grateful. As you can see from the top and bottom images that my aunt made two flower arrangements. There were too many flowers to fit into one vase, so she made two. I love them both. I bring up this story because her act of flower arranging reminded me of my mom. I loved that so much. My aunt also shared with me that my mom said that she liked the water (as demonstrated by all the art images of water in her place), because I too made that comment. Finally, at one of our meals out, I was watching the food come out, and my aunt commented that my mom would do the same thing. Ah yes… learned behaviour. I’m not shy about that, neither was my mom, because she was a foodie at heart.
My tribute to Asian Heritage Month is really a time during the year when I can remember my mom and think about the ancestry I have acquired from her. I do give my mom a lot of credit for this acquisition. I often felt disconnected from my dad. Was it because we are very similar people? That’s what some people say. I think that I give more credit to my mom is because she made an effort to stand by me and she always wanted the best for me, but for me to realize it for myself. I miss my mom and I think my love for Chinese food only resembles hers, and that it was our common attachment, tangible connection, or love language to our heritage.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 16th, 2025 | No Comments »
I went to the dentist this morning to get my teeth cleaned by the hygienist and my teach checked by the dentist. I was feeling very grateful that I am able to adapt my work schedule to accommodate this appointment. I am grateful to have the privilege to have dental coverage. I am super grateful that my parents insisted on dental care and dental health as part of my way of being. I am grateful that I walked out of the dental office with nothing seriously wrong with my teeth. I am also grateful for having the opportunity to drive to the dental office and walk into the office with no help or assistance. I feel very grateful right now for my life and currently health. I am lucky.
I did not expect that this blog reflection would start so deeply, but I do have a lot to be grateful for. Last week was my friend’s Celebration of Life. She was also a second-generation Asian who was a teacher education in the BC school system. We had a lot in common and we were both invested in “Assessment” and “decolonizing our practices.” She knew a lot more than me, and she was ALWAYS willing to share. Her generosity and thoughtfulness was over the top. The week before, I went to Toronto, ON to present 4 aspects of my teaching at a national conference at 4 different Canadian associations. I found my people there and I felt very good about my presentations and being deeply invested in the “Scholarship of Teaching.” And now, I am writing this blog post in my new home. I love being here and I am so grateful that I can support myself, my kid, and my cat. I never thought that would be possible.
I can see misery in others. Some are struggling. Others are suffering. I get it… I’ve been there. Life is not easy, but what I do understand is, you can make the difference. You create what you see. I know that sounds cliché but it’s true. I will also say that it is also challenging to change your point of view because it comes from a place that is deep inside your body and mind. The work is not easy. I don’t think it’s suppose to be. Today, I am figuring out my next steps to complete the spring/summer semester. This planning entails completing some work for a few research projects, getting some writing done for publication, engage and complete work for a couple of projects, and planning and prepping for the fall. This semester is the first time I am not teaching and I am super grateful to have to time to go to conferences and the freedom to produce the work that require some deep thought. I get to do this work. It’s amazing.
I’m not sure what Friday the 13th brings. You might be witnessing right now… GRATITUDE. I cannot and will not take life for granted. I understand my value and it has taken decades to get to where I am today. I feel happy. I love what I do. And, I am very content with where I am. Although I experience some joint pain, wished that menopause would end, and could lose a few pounds, overall… LIFE IS GOOD. 🙂
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 13th, 2025 | No Comments »
Of all the photos to share of my friend, I chose the image of doughnuts that were offered post the Celebration of Life. They also served my friend’s favourite tea. I had the pink doughnut and sencha tea. I loved that these were two of her favourite things (doughnuts from a place a cannot remember… and loose leaf tea)… and that there were choices. #ClassicTeacher. Offering choice and agency to everyone at the celebration. What a wonderful way to remember and honour my friend. I loved it!!
I took many photos at the event. I shared some of the edu-selfies with folks who knew my friend from the teacher education world. I posted those photos on my some of my social media feeds. And, I took photos of the various speakers at the Celebration of Life. I thought it was a wonderful compilation of folks who spoke very highly of my friend. People from her church, workplace, UBC, Pacific Academy, friends, and her family all spoke about my friend in different ways with similar threads and themes.
Some stories shared provided moments of laughter, while other moments felt reflective and affirming. She was a strong and determined person. She was passionate, competitive, and driven. She was a helper. She loved her kids. She fell in love with her life partner at work. She was a committed and devoted educator, counsellor, coach, researcher, and teacher educator. She was a whole bunch of things, many of which I can confirm is all true. She went above and beyond… always.
Maybe not spoken, but I am realizing that I was also afforded the opportunity to get to know the more vulnerable side of her… as a friend and colleague. We spoke lots about what it meant to be a second-generation Canadian-Asian woman in BC Schools and in higher education. We talked a lot about our pedagogical journeys, our families, and our struggles. She always needed a little boost from time to time, but I am realizing she played that role for many others as a mentor, teacher, and friend.
I’m not sure why I feel somewhat reluctant to share the image of my friend on this blog post, and that my first choices were the food that was served outside of the church post-celebration. But what I do know for sure, she was a good friend, an advocate for humanity and equity, and a very smart person. Everyone at the event said that about her. I feel the same way. In some ways, I hope that she knew that as well. It was something that she always strived for, and she was always succeeding.
I guess I will share one story of my friend. I first met her in 2019 at the CAfLN conference in Vancouver, BC. At the time, Twitter was HOT with the educators and she knew me from the social media platform. At the time, I was not in a good place… emotionally and spiritually. I was in a state of transition and admittedly, it was rough. She bounces in and says, “HELLO,” introduces herself, and tried to lift my spirits up with her warmth, kindness, and enthusiasm. Since that day, it never stopped.
Perhaps it stopped in the physical world, but my friend is always in my heart. I feel sad just writing about this and how I am not able to say hello to call her up or take a selfie or to meet somewhere for coffee to chat. I will miss my friend greatly and deeply. I am sure that many others feel the same way as I do. This is not the way she thought it would end, and she struggled and fought for every minute, hour, and day to be with her kids. The journey of saying goodbye could not have been easy.
Every time we texted, sent a voice message, or have a Zoom conversation… I thought it would be the last time I would see her or hear from her. Selfish, I know… but she always seemed to hang in there, made the effort to connect, and she was always thinking of others. That was in her nature. I am grateful for our time together. I am also grateful that she is now at peace and pain free. The fought a good fight and she was determined to win. However, she had the grace and strength to let go.
My friend taught me many lessons since her diagnosis on September 29, 2023. I remember her telling me on the phone at 4:30am. I didn’t know what to say, but to listen. I could her her frustration, anger, and disbelief. I can understand her feelings. She was just on the path that she worked so hard for and deserved. My learning from her last year and a half was, just live your life. Be happy. Nothing in life can be that serious or taken that seriously. Love what you do, rest, and savour every moment.
At CSSE 2023 at York University. She was doing her PhD at UBC… busy and darn proud.In White Rock… I’m guessing in 2021 or 2022. Her hospitality and generosity were unsurpassed.Our first selfie… in 2019 at CAfLN. So up lifting… (PS. We had many selfies together).
I love you, my friend. I will miss you greatly. Rest in peace. XO.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 10th, 2025 | No Comments »
June 1-4, 2025 – Canadian Study for the Study of Education
I am so grateful for my friend who took a photo of me presenting at CSSE 2025. I presented 4 times and I only had photos taken of me from my first presentation at CAARE (Canadian Association for Action Research in Education). I also presented at CNIE (Canadian Network for Innovation in Education), CASIE (Canadian Association for the Study of Indigenous Education), and CATE (Canadian Association for Teacher Education). I have images of the title page of each PowerPoint presentation I gave at CSSE 2025. I’ve gone to a few Congresses in the past handful of years and just realized that CSSE is embedded into Congress. They are not the same thing!! Makes sense. Congress is the opportunity for different Canadian Associations to come together and meet at the same time and CSSE is part of that. Thank you to George Brown College for hosting is HUGE event. Of the 4 presentations, I managed to present in each of the 3 campuses of the college. What a beautiful campus and overall, Congress, venue, transportation, and volunteers… the experience was AMAZING!! And, I was able to find my way from the airport to the conference and navigate the area with some ease. I am also grateful for my aunt (one of my mom’s sisters) who opened up her “newly renovated” condo and have me stay there. I was only a 20-minute walk away from the college. It was super convenient. I loved walking to the conference every morning. The weather was great, and the place!!
The first presentation was created with 3 former teacher candidates and the work we did together during or concurrent to the teacher education program at UNBC about a Lesson Study we engaged in called “Sit Spot and My Senses.” We’ve presented this several times before with the teacher candidates facilitating and engaging workshop participants in the lesson study. This time, my three co-presenters are now early career educators and approaching the end of the K-12 school year. So, it was me to present about our work as a paper presentation. The presentation was mainly descriptive with images of past experiences during the lesson study. I was nervous because it was my first presentation (and I added a few slides… content contributed by the team), so I might have gone over time. ACK. That said, the presentation had a positive impact on folks in the room and I appreciate their kind words and inspiration. Our team is planning to submit a proposal to write a chapter for the next CATE book.
The second presentation was co-presented with a couple of my colleagues from the Climate Education in Teacher Education (CETE) research team. We presented on how we have “redefined togetherness” (aka., the theme of CSSE) and at a high level, described our research project and research methodology. I think the presentation went very well. It was well attended and well received. We have really mastered the planning process and presentation to tell our story as CETE that is representative, meaningful, and authentic. We may have recruited some folks to be a part of our design team. The third presentation was later that day (Day 2) in a RoundTable presentation. It was late in the day, so there were very few of us at this session. We combined the two tables into one and each presenter shared their work. I presented on some of the work done by myself and my friend on “uncolonizing assessment.” I did a small pilot in my EDUC 421 (Assessment and Motivation) course and learned from student reflection how the teacher candidates defined the Four R’s from Kirkness and Barnhardt (1991) in context to assessment, teaching, and their self-assessment. It was really powerful and I was taken aback as to how the teacher candidates used the Four R’s to guide their assessment plan and practice.
The final and fourth presentation was with CATE and I was presenting about a program evaluation of “in-situ” learning as part of my EDUC 421 course I teach with elementary teacher candidates. When I wrote the proposal, I was reflecting on the 3-years of which I had implemented a version of “in-situ” learning as part of my practice. And, I wondered if the learning experience was still worthwhile to continue even though I thought it was worthwhile to do. In response to proposal feedback, I went back to review the blog and page posts made by the teacher candidates as part of the course that commented on the “in situ” learning experience that reflected on their teaching at the elementary school or as a part of the course summary reflection. As usual, the reflections ranged in content and depth, but I was so overwhelmed by the articulation by these teacher candidates on their support, enthusiasm, and gratitude for the “in situ” learning experience to bridge theory to practice. I am so encouraged by their words such that I will return to this content again to do a thematic analysis to then formalize this program evaluation for publication.
I feel very grateful to do this work. Although I felt that the pandemic re-started my motivation to create a research program, the more I am understanding that I am deeply engaged in the SCHOLARSHIP OF TEACHING and ACTION RESEARCH. I am deeply invested in the practice as well as working with teacher candidates. Much like many of my reflections in this blog and the other with OpenETC, I am ALWAYS learning from my students. I feel so inspired by the gifts I receive from this work, but also how it fuels my love for the work that I do… and get to do. To conclude this blog reflection, I also want to share my love and joy for the connections I’ve made during the CSSE conference. Some connections are reuniting with folks (i.e., a former student in one of my graduate level classes, a new colleague and listening to their poster presentation of their dissertation, a mentor and friend to share their insights on effective teams, and giving a big hug and hello to another mentor who sought me out to say HELLO). Some connections are new ones (i.e., a professor and educator during my 4th presentation who is also a CATE dissertation winner, folks I met at a poster presentation, at roundtable, and in the hallway). I love these connections!!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 08th, 2025 | No Comments »
Can you believe that this is the third time I’ve blogged with this title? “Do what you love.” I’m not surprised. It never hurts to remind myself, but also I’m in that mindset, particularly when my #OneWord2025 is LOVE. Gosh… it took me months to commit to that word and now I’m “in love” with my one word. It takes time for the one-word to take hold, but I am realizing that LOVE was a natural next step from HAPPY. So, this blog post is going to talk about a few things that “I love” to do. It’s fun to do this.
First, I am so happy to be doing my weekly blog only on one website versus two. I was maintaining two websites, thus two blogs, for a year or so because I lost access to this website a few years ago and I was making a website for some courses I taught at the university. Now, I have access to this website (due to serendipity and good luck) and I’m no longer teaching portfolio in the M.Ed. or B.Ed. programs. I don’t need a work portfolio. It has taken me a few months to “let go” but I’m good with only one blog.
Second, I am really getting into thrifting. It was something I did out of utility when I first moved to Prince George, and my kid liked to go thrifting to buy clothes and such when she was younger. We both stopped for a few years and now I’m just getting back into it. I found some flower vases, led crystal pieces, and some unexpected wins. Just the other day, I bought a Corningware set on Facebook Marketplace as part of an estate sale. (See photo). I love these pieces and got a great deal on them. It’s too fun.
Finally, my last mention of “doing what I love” is beading. A former student of mine reached out to me and asked if I wanted to go out on Wednesday nights to bead. It’s a 3-hour session and I just LOVE IT. I know in the fall that I will be teaching a night class, but for the spring and summer, this connection with the former student and all those in this beading group has been absolutely blissful. The 3 hours just fly by and I’m enjoying returning to what brings me a lot of joy and time to hone my beading skills.
I have so much to be grateful for and these are only a few examples of “doing what I love.” It feels good to prioritize my interests and learning how to embrace change and navigate in ways that go with the flow and be open to the present. I’m just in LOVE.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 24th, 2025 | Comments Off on Do What You Love
I started this blog post yesterday and it quickly started a tangent. I’m not sure if it’s because I was being avoidant or if I was distracted. There is nothing like the act of procrastination, a new day, and a redo. So here I am again to start this blog post over. My dear friend passed away on Wednesday, May 14, 2025. She was 10 years junior. She just turned 45 years old on April 20, 2025. I am not sure what to make of this. She was diagnosed with glioblastoma in October 2023. I remember the phone call. It was like 430 am and she was texting me. She could not sleep and so I called her. She said that she was diagnosed with brain cancer… or brain tumour. She did not tell me the exact diagnosis although over time, thanks to Google, I was able to figure it out before she told me her diagnosis. It’s heartbreaking and shocking at the same time.
She was struggling for awhile. It was often contributed to tiredness and workload because she was in a doctoral program at UBCO, and she commuted to Kelowna from Vancouver via plane, most times, to attend class. She was working full-time at the university, she was an RA, and she was a full-time parent to two young adolescent children. If anything, she was busy, so I can see that it was easy to make a correlation of her workload to her headaches and tiredness. However, when certain deadlines had ceased, her symptoms did not. I remember her at WFATE 2023 in Victoria, BC. She was presenting, organizing a dinner for BCTEN, and doing life as a PhD student. She was not feeling well that week and again, seemed very busy, but managed to keep up with everything. Keeping a brave smile, her headaches persisted. Luckily, she has close friends who encouraged her to go to the doctor to find out what’s wrong.
She was so determined to stay alive and be with her children. She underwent 3 brain operations, radiation, and chemotherapy. Nothing worked. The tumour kept growing and her body (and mind) slowly fading away. I spoke to her a few times and messaged some other times. You could see the rapid decline. Each time, I thought it would be the last time I would see her. I even went to go visiter once with another mutual friend at her place. She was still hosting even though she was not well. Her strength and stamina were unsurpassed. I would not believe what she was willing to endure to extend her life. According to the websites, without treatment, she had 3 months to live. With all of the interventions she took, she lived for 19-months after her diagnosis. She was aiming for 10 years, but what she has achieved was a testament to her and the fight for her life. Over time, she was able to make peace with family members and strengthen key relationships, and say goodbye everything.
I cannot believe that it would be easy saying goodbye to everything that she worked so hard for. She had to say goodbye to her job in teacher education at the university. There are photos of her packing up her office. I was happy that she made that choice for herself. She had to say goodbye to her doctoral work. She worked so hard to get into the PhD program. She was in the program of her dreams and had a very supportive supervisor. Her career was on the rise, and her identity and sense of self-worth were deeply embedded in getting into that program. For awhile, she had ambitions to complete the program while she was ill, but over time she realized that it would not be possible. Letting go must have been incredibly difficult to do. She even stepped back from BCTEN, and she loved that work. Finally, I can only imagine, that she had to say goodbye to her life and her family. Honestly, I can’t even imagine, but she spent her last moments in hospice with her close family and friends.
After 19-months of struggle, pain, and goodbyes, I am relieved she is at peace.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 20th, 2025 | Comments Off on Ten Years My Junior
The fair came by last week. My kid and I walked over to the fair to walk around and pick up a bag of mini-doughnuts. We shared the bag before heading out for lunch. It was a gorgeous day and the doughnuts were pretty good too. It was the last week my kid “off” from school before starting her summer job at the hospital as an ESN (employed student nurse). She’s on her night shift as I write. It’s a new way of being for me. Not only have I splurged on a Nespresso coffee maker (for Mother’s Day) and enjoy an espresso con panna anytime of day at home, I am also in love with my cat (of which I am watching in the corner of my eye playing a new toy I got her earlier tonight). Is this how life is going to be? Me… the cat lady!! My kid will also be going away to complete her 5-week clinical as well as part of Year 3 of her program. I think that will be the real test. She will be leaving “the nest” soon… Year 4 will come and go. I am so grateful that my kid chose to come with me to Prince George during the “turbulent years.” I could not have transition to “my independence” without her.
I can’t believe that this is my 21st Mother’s Day. It doesn’t feel like 21 times. I can celebrate this day every year with LOVE and joy. As mentioned, I bought myself a Nespresso (and LOVE it) and I got myself a pottery mug from the art gallery as well (for Mother’s Day). As you can see, I’m not shy. But, my kid will be coming home after her shift at 7am on Mother’s Day and likely sound asleep when I wake up. Please note, I’m writing this blog post in the middle of the night because I am WIDE AWAKE from my expresso earlier tonight. I needed a boost to get on with my day, but now I’m alert. LOL. Hence, I’m writing about Mother’s Day in the future tense. Yes, it’s Mother’s Day right now… but it’s just after midnight. My cat is not a fan of me staying up late, but I realized tonight that I love being going out for a walk in the evening (ie., going to Walmart or the Superstore in Prince George) and I am truly a “late to bed, late to rise” kind of person. As much as I would like to be an early to bed, early to rise person… it will NEVER happen. Trust me, I’ve tried. But what I am realizing is, I am on my own.
There is nothing wrong with being independent, but I am acknowledging that my kid is growing up. She’s an adult and she too will be independent. Parenting… no one really talks about these transitions. My kid taught me so much about life (i.e., having an Nespresso… I don’t think I can go back to the Keurig, which is hers as well). Sigh. So, with this change in momentum with my kid and me as she continues to engage in her nursing program and work, I am learning how to be the “new” me. I am also trying to wean myself off my phone. I’m so done with that thing, but I am have horrible habits to break. I was inspired by a YouTube video done by a fellow BC Educator’s kid, Makari Espe, “How I cut my screentime by 80%.” I will start my Mother’s Day with having my phone charging downstairs, that is, one floor away from my bedroom. So much time is SUCKED away when I have my phone near my bed. I have took off some apps already, but I will be replacing my phone with reading. Let’s see how this goes.
Mother’s Day is about celebrating yourself… and LOVE my kid. I have also decided to commit to my weekly blog with this WordPress site and I am taking a break from my other WordPress site related to my work at the university. I am no longer teaching any courses that has EdTech and portfolios, so modelling how to create and develop a website as a platform for reflective practice is no longer needed. Again, change. I think the real gift I can give myself is creating change rather than respond to change (that happens to me). It’s not one or the other, but what I want to say is… I’m moving forward. And, I can do this!! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!! PS: I love being a mom!! xo
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 11th, 2025 | Comments Off on Onto the Next Step
Admittedly, this is how it feels. See image. Isn’t she cute? Anyway, I’m not sure why I do this, but I have stints of working really hard followed by stints of severe rest, and the slow haul to get back to a steady work flow. I did this all of the time when I worked in K-12. The breaks are needed. Teaching can take a lot from you and sometimes you can’t even meet your own expectations. We have limitations. I do have a friend who works FOREVER at a capacity that I am unable to attain (or would strive for), but I am getting back at things and it feels good to sit down and map out the spring/summer term to get as much writing, research, and productivity done before the fall term begins. I’ve designed it this way. It’s my first term at the university without teaching a course. In our collective agreement, faculty members can have one term off from teaching, but in the teacher education program that goes year round and being teaching faculty with 8 courses per year, it’s reasonable to spread out your courses over 12-months. Now I have 10% for research, 10% doing projects for the school of education, I am teaching 6 courses now, of which I am teaching 2 courses in the fall, 4 courses in the winter, and no courses in the spring/summer. Honestly, it feels great.
I am hoping to renew my contract. I wished I was a driven as some folks I know. But, with rest and restoration, I am learning what’s important to me and what I LOVE doing. I love teaching. I love learning. I love writing reflectively. I love connection and community. I am involved in a few things that offer all of that to me so I hope I can continue doing what I am doing for the next three years. I have been reassured, but signing a contract would be nice. Now that I feel that I am back into “work mode” I feel that I need to take a moment to strategize my next steps for this spring/summer term to get the most out of the term. I have the CSSE Congress 2025 in Toronto and presenting on May 31, June 1, and June 2. I have 4 presentations. One I am co-presenting with members of a research team, another I am presenting with former students (who will be attending online), another I am co-presenting with a friend of mine, and another that I am presenting on my own. Preparing for the conference is my first course of action as well as completing a few papers that need addressing as well. After that, I have a book review and a couple conference proceedings to submit. There is a chapter I am also co-authoring with a colleague that’s due in June and there are other projects on the go. I am very excited about this term. Onwards and upwards.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 06th, 2025 | Comments Off on Listening to Yourself
As we approach the end of the month and transition to the spring/summer term, I took a moment to visit my family in the Lower Mainland. My cousin and her family came from Boston to Vancouver for a week or so to visit the west coast, and I also had a short visit a niece, nephew, and aunty who also live in Vancouver. I stayed at my brother’s place for a few days. He hosted a family dinner gathering one night and my sister hosted another. On my last day, my sister, brother, and my dad got together to have dim sum, but also visit my mom at the cemetery. We bought her new (fake) flowers for her resting place. Tulips. Very seasonal, but also very MOM. She loved tulips and it’s one of my memories of her when we visited the tulip farms in Abbotsford. We also had pizza that day. It was a good day and memory of mom.
I’m not sure what it will take to get me motivated enough… or ready enough… to engage in an autoethnography. When my mom passed away in 2018, I wanted to write about those 20-days (and my relationship with my mom) to investigate my ethnic identity but in particular write about belonging, self-efficacy, and positionality. I had a wonderful conversation with my cousin one night at my sister’s talking about my mom and sharing with her what I loved about my mom and why she was so special. Was that enough? I have very good memories of my mom, not limited to those 20-days, but I also have some challenging ones. It’s almost like I want to learn more about her so that I can get a better understanding of myself, but also how I make sense of the world in context to my family. I needed to learn about myself.
I am a second-generation Chinese Canadian. I was born and raised in Prince Rupert, BC. I don’t have any language (i.e., Cantonese) or engage in any cultural practices related to my ancestry. I was essentially assimilated to Canadian culture and language by my parents and Canadian society and institutions (even though my parents spoke Cantonese) such that I spent the first half-century of my life denying my cultural heritage and ethnic identity. When George Floyd died in 2020, I was struck by the question: Can I deny who I am for much longer or do I need to step up and “be ok” with being Chinese? A weird question, but it’s one that I had wrestled with for many, many years. Also around this time, I graduated with my doctorate in 2017, my mom passed away in 2018, and I separated from my husband in 2019. I moved away from my family in 2018 to pursue a job, we faced the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, and I lived in my house during the pandemic until my kid moved up with me in 2021.
Up until this point, I was not living my life for myself and I had a lot of misconceptions about “the world.” In 2021, I was starting life all over again and it took a few years to finally find myself, my autonomy, and my agency as a person and academic. Even though I wanted to write about my mom in 2018, I couldn’t. Not because of the persistent crying and sadness, but because I was not whole or ready to write about and examine my experiences in a reasonable and realistic way. Lots was happening, and I was learning more about me. I had to look this up, but I divorced in 2023 (only 2-years ago) and I bought my own place last year (only 5-months ago). My kid continues to live with me and she is finishing up her third year in the nursing program. I am no longer angry, nor am I feeling oppressed or distant from myself.
Now, I know that I am my only agent and advocate. I choose how I would like to see life to be and to do what I love to do to find my purpose, my happiness, and my joy in life. I don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations but my own. The only person I need to prove anything to is myself. I never felt that way before (in my past life) but now I understand that my happiness is my own. I create what I see. I needed this time to “feel” ready to write. Well, I think there is no better time than the present. I was already looking at autoethnography resources (again) during this blog post and thinking about how I will go about collecting data (i.e., journals, self-reflection, interviews, etc.). I am ready. Being with my family this last week helped. Many of my aunties and uncles are still alive as well (in addition to my dad). It’s an opportunity to learn more about my mom and learn more about my identity and belonging.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 29th, 2025 | Comments Off on Being with Family
