I hate the idea of having to blog every two weeks. I guess it is what it is, and today I am making a re-commitment to a weekly blog post. I am reminded why I started blogging. It’s not just about developing a reflective practice, but it is also about practicing my writing skills. Admittedly, there has been a tonne of things happening and right now, I feel settled such that I can “spill the tea.” Mid-October, I put in an offer to purchase a townhouse. I am excited and learned a tonne over the last month.
My first lesson… follow your gut. There was just a day when I felt like I should look at places to live. I went to a few open houses (in townhouses, in particular) and kind of regretted not getting my finances in order so that I could put an offer into a place when I saw one I wanted and liked. The strata scene is not very big in Prince George. I was not sure if I wanted to live in a house and do all of the maintenance and condominiums are far and few between. I’ve lived in an apartment for six years not realizing that I would be in “this place” for this long. As it turns out, the commitment I wanted to make was “to place” and “to myself.” I wanted to settle and be in my home.
My second lesson… ask for help. The last time I purchased a house was 20-years ago. Can you believe that? My kid brought that to my attention TODAY, which alarmed me in some ways. She’s right. She was one-years old when I first moved into my first house. Now, my kid is 21. She’s got the math right. I’ve been looking online for quite some time for a place to live. I was so unsure if this was the next step I wanted to take, and if I did, what steps would I need to take? I ended up texting one of the real estate agents I met at one of the open houses. She responded promptly and has walked me through every step of the house-buying process. For this, I am so grateful. I had lots of questions and she’s been great. I feel that she has my best interests. I also want to give kudos to my banker from my former hometown, the home inspector, and all of those folks who helped me along the way. Thank you!!
My third lesson… when you know, you know. Making a decision and making a commitment has been challenging for me to say the least. Most times, my decisions have always been conditional. If this, then that… was the typical mantra. The truth is, that’s not how life works. Much like the first lesson, you’ve got to go with your gut. I spent a lot of my online searches and open houses looking for a place that would feel like home. I would find myself settling for “the next best” or something that was “cheaper.” These consolidations were things I typically adapt and live with but I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching in the last 5-years and I wanted to find a place that I loved. We looked at a half dozen places at my preferred site and the unit that I thought was maybe third or fourth on my list became first. The garage was a deal breaker for me, but the owners changed it from what was seen on the website. I called in my kid to see it this was a good place, and soon after I made an offer.
My fourth lesson… be patient and be present. The effort to remove the conditions to purchasing the townhouse was one that my relator walked me through (or at least talked me down from off the bridge) and my banker at my credit union really made things possible. Because it was 20-years ago since I last bought my house, the whole process was new to me. I followed the advice of my relator to get the home inspected. The home inspector was amazing, through, and supportive. And, every person (so far) that I talked on the phone to change things like home insurance, utilities, and movers have all been very helpful and professional. Now, I am in the middle of packing my stuff up. We are about 2/3 of the way through with a few weeks before we move. October 31st was the day when the sale was final and all conditions were met. Trick or treat? It was definitely a TREAT. Life is unravelling quickly and swiftly. We are moving at the end of the month. I can’t believe it. HOME… at last.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, November 11th, 2024 | Comments Off on When it Rains
Oh boy… I do really try to contribute to my blog (on both WordPress sites) on a weekly basis. There are only a few times where I have not been able to in the last few months, but there are just some times when I am just not able to. I started this blog post last week and I was unable to get to it (amongst many other “things to do”) over the last week. And here we are again at the end of another weekend. I could have compelled myself to write two blog posts to make up the one I just missed, but I’m not going to. I’m just going to let it go and move forward. Last week, I could not make up the time and catch up… and that’s ok. I can only do what I can do… and that’s it.
Although this blog post might be extraordinarily short, I am grateful to take a moment to return to my reflections and the idea of the “imperfect leader.” My EDUC 606 class is reading Andy Hargreaves “Leading from the Middle” and in Chapter 2, he describes the IMPERFECT LEADER. Lots of what he had written resonates with me and knowing that aiming for perfection is unreasonable and unrealistic. Imperfect leaders learn from their mistakes and rely on community to lead (or co-lead). Moreover, to be an imperfect leader, you have be know thy self. Self-knowledge resonates with me deeply, in particular with Parker Palmer’s work in “The Courage to Teach.”
Teachers are leaders. Self-acceptance and knowing your strengths and stretches are key attributes to leadership. I can see how this could test one’s sense of self-efficacy and self-confidence to lead, but humility and vulnerability are also key attributes as well. LEARNING is central to “good” leadership. Learning is not perfect. In fact, learning happens when it’s messy, confusing, and mistake-oriented. You just have be be willing to make those mistakes and learn from them. That’s what matters, but also appreciating the mistake. What a gift!! Admittedly, I may not have thought that way in past, but as I am learning and understanding myself makes me a “good” leader.
Take a look at this image. What a beautiful metaphor. You have a vision. You execute. You do you best, but… it’s not perfect. I love sunny-side up eggs and buttered toast. As you may notice, when transferring the eggs from the pan to plate, it resulted in one of the eggs to flip upside down. Broken. I took a few attempts trying to flip it back up, but opted to just leave it alone. It’s fine the way it is. The breakfast was still delicious. Not perfect, but really, it was perfect. I have been vibing on this breakfast for the last week or two. It tasted just as I had hoped and nothing beat dipping the sour dough toast into the egg yolk. If anything, no added stress and pure satisfaction.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, October 27th, 2024 | Comments Off on Imperfect is PERFECT
My kid and I had oysters on Friday at Earls. It was a good way for us to end our week. She’s fully immersed back into school, and so am I. Eating raw oysters is a treat for us. It reminds us of going to Puerto Vallarta last winter and we found an awesome place downtown where we at a dozen oysters TWICE. We enjoyed the restaurant and the food too. Oysters at Earls in Prince George is a find for us and I was grateful to spend my Friday after work with her to relax, enjoy, and connect. I don’t seen her as much as I like to during the week. We are both super busy. What struck me with this FIRST oyster was the deliciousness of preparing it and slurping it. The tang of the lemon, the spiciness of the tobacco, the umami of the onion sauce and grated horseradish, and the sweetness of the oyster was SPECTACULAR. The experience instantly slowed me down to a place of gratitude and joy. Hello long weekend!! We had a great meal.
That pretty much ended my week and going into things like email do not even make my radar until right now (i.e., Sunday night). I have taken some intention to learn how to make Saturdays for me and “be a person” on that day. What that means is, I do laundry, I recycle, I go food shopping, I spend time with my kid, I sleep in, I go for a walk, and anything else that is “productive” but benefits me as a person. It feels great. I almost feel that my body, mind, and soul have full accustomed itself to this way of being that my body just responds accordingly… no work on Friday night, all day Saturday, and most of Sunday. This way of being has provided me with some clear boundaries with work and life. My mindset and wellbeing are generally good. Stress is managed. I will not lose sleep on things that I can’t get to. There is always tomorrow.
This Saturday, I spent the day committed to cleaning up the bathroom, purging crap I was no longer using, and going through my dresser for clothes that need to be given way. Since moving to Prince George, I was consumed by acquiring THINGS as a form of security and safety. I thought, at first, moving to Prince George would be temporary. Now that I’ve been here for 6-years, it’s time to make an effort to put a halt on the HOARDING process and critically look at what I have acquired, what I am holding on to, and what I need to let go of. This cleansing process is taken with some intentionality. I am secure. I am safe. Last week I went through one clothing rack to remove clothes I no longer wear and no longer like. That was one garbage bag that was donated to Value Village. This week, I went through my dresser and underneath my bed which resulted in two more garbage bags and another donation. Moreover, cleaning the washroom et al resulted in two more garbage bags of garbage. Yeesh.
The washroom looks (and smells) spectacular and the areas addressed in my apartment look similar but BETTER. My kid cleaned her room too. We did some laundry and had dinner at home on Sunday. That was super nice. The purging process is gradual and ongoing. I feel that by removing some things from my place that I am holding on to is an act of letting go. I’m not sure that it’s liberation, but I do feel like I’m freeing myself from the past and spending more intentional time in the present. It feels great!! There is more stuff to sort through and admittedly, I feel stiff and sore from the cleaning and purging process. I’m not sure why, but it’s very clear that it’s something that I do not normally do. What I want to keep are things that are important to me. My goal is to purge about one garbage bag per weekend. I’m a little ahead of schedule. LOL. The more that I get rid of, the more settled I feel. Yay me.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 29th, 2024 | Comments Off on Gratitude in the Little Things
My first night in Prince Rupert. This photo was taken from my hotel room at the Crest Hotel.
September 22, 2024 – Uncolonizing Assessment
I had this awesome opportunity to return to my hometown of Prince Rupert to present with my friend and colleague, Desiree Marshall-Peer, to School District No. 52 (Prince Rupert) about “uncolonizing assessment.” We presented before in 2019 at the First Nations Education Steering Committee Fall Conference in 2019 before the pandemic. We are both former secondary mathematics educators and we met 10-years ago when we were both on the Math K-9 Curriculum Development Team. We have very different styles and approaches, but our values and way of thinking are very aligned. And, the way we are able to collaborate and work with one another is nothing like any other. We have a push-and-pull with our approach and we seem to get things done. I was very happy that she invited me to co-present with her.
We have the ultimate collaboration-chemistry. She brings her perspectives as a Cree-Ojibway educator and I bring my point of view on assessment and teacher education. We co-presented the keynote in the morning along with two IGNITE presentations from folks from the secondary school and then we each facilitated workshops with the middle school and secondary school in the afternoon. I worked with the secondary school. In the morning, we tried to model what we were trying to present about with respect to un-colonizing despite the theatre set up. We embedded several opportunities to sense-make with those in the room and provide responses to the larger crowd. We also incorporated a sticky note/gallery walk during the break to think about “What is colonialism?” (with respect to classroom assessment).
Serendipity. I took this photo from the window of my room at the Crest Hotel.
We were co-constructing knowledge. The topic and discussions during the keynote were potentially challenging and thought provoking, and they were intended to be. We were focused on Standard 9 of the Professional Standards of BC Educators and classroom assessment. How we assess dictates how we teach; it’s not the other way around. We concluded the keynote session with urging teachers to engage in ongoing formative assessment in their classes (as exampled with with salmon experience) and using Kirkness & Barnhardt’s (2001) as a reflective tool to self-assess their assessment practice. Does your assessment practice embody respect, responsibility, reciprocity, and relevance? This self-reflection can be affirming or cue to reflect and adapt, if needed. The assessment practice needs to be a partner in the learning process.
What teachers teach and what students learn should have an intentional learning target and clear success criteria. In the salmon example, if the learning target is about my knife skills to clean the salmon, do not assess me on whether or not the gills of the salmon were removed or if I could identify the parts of a salmon. The success criteria should reflect the learning target, like how I was holding the knife, the quality of the cut, and safe and responsible use of the knife. With the same activity (i.e., cleaning the salmon), the learning target maybe be cleaning the salmon, so the product or outcome matters (i.e., removal of the gills). I hope this point was made clear in the presentation. It’s a big aha for me as an educator and teacher educator.
Co-presenting with Des Marshall-Peer at the Lester Centre of the Arts.
In the afternoon, I worked with the secondary school teachers, EAs, and administration. What a welcoming crew!! My friend/colleague from UNBC and his spouse (who is also a teacher at the high school) took me out for lunch with another friend of theirs at Opa’s before heading back to the high school. The food was yummy and the company was engaging and dialogical. Lunch out was an excellent transition to the afternoon workshop. My friend/colleague offered to help me with my workshop presentation. Generous and I immediately accepted. He and the school principal were very helpful with facilitating the afternoon session in the multipurpose room. I could see my the house I used to live in across the street. That’s how I started my workshop session and started group work as I would in teacher education.
I considered moving the folks around the room as they had self-selected tables to sit at. A quick ask and pivot to have them stay in these groups to feel some agency and belonging. Talking about assessment is not easy because we are talking about VALUES. We started the workshop session with the 6 question posed by the school district. Each group had to choose a question, by consensus, to address. With posters and group roles (i.e., the reporter, recorder, and facilitator), each group discussed a question of choice, recorded responses on a poster, then shared 3 key ideas from their conversation to the whole group. I let the group know after this discussion designed for sense-making that I too was pre-assessing them on their ability to work in a group, to discuss their practice within a group, and to follow directions to inform my next steps. I was modelling assessment and being explicit with “Christine 2”.
Fish and chips (cod) from the Crest Hotel.
BTW: Christine 2 is my inside voice; Christine 1 is my teacher-self; and Christine 3 is on a soap-box. This strategy I use in my EDUC 394 to dispel the complexities of teaching to teacher candidates. Christine 4 and 5 do exist, but let’s hope we never get there in a classroom… LOL. Anyway, this crew was prepared for my BIG ASK. In the keynote, we had The Ask of “what step(s) can you take to un-colonize your assessment practice?” My Big Ask included the Kirkness & Barnhardt’s (2001) 4Rs from the keynote presentation, the proficiency scale for the BC Student Reporting Policy, and grading (aka., the 100-point rubric) and consider what they needed, what students need, and what families need. It was like the overlap of two three-circled Venn Diagrams. It was a big ask and let me tell you, the conversation was rich, compelling, and will be ongoing. Each group reported out and if anything, their thinking provoked. The session concluded with a COMMITMENT to change. “What is one thing you would consider changing in your assessment practice?” They wrote this commitment on a piece of paper (anonymous) and submitted this commitment to an envelope to be revealed later to check in to see how they were doing. They were also asked to find a critical friend or friends to work with while they embark this change.
Change is a process, it’s incremental, and it’s ongoing. Change is not an event. Me coming to their school or school district does not provoke or create change. It is those who are involved with the change who make the change. The Big Ask is really asking for system and pedagogical change. ASSESSMENT IS A CONVERSATION, which requires time, sense-making, shared language, experimentation, reflection, reflexivity, learning, vulnerability, courage, humility, love, and community. ASSESSMENT DRIVES PEDAGOGY (not the other way around). So, how can we design learning experiences that acknowledges assessment as the driver to how we will teach and learn? This question is the big idea behind this work as we in BC continue on this journey of un-colonization of our practice and pedagogy to benefit and support the learners in our care. I know we can do this. It takes one step at a time.
PS. the images above were my most favourite taken (or eaten) in Prince Rupert.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 22nd, 2024 | Comments Off on Returning to Place
I’m not really sure what I mean by this. There is no question that I am passionate about coffee and Costco soup dumplings. I would call this image “the breakfast for champions.” I would often eat this meal for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. If I don’t have a lot of time in the morning to make breakfast… soup dumplings. If I’m feeling down and sad… soup dumplings. If I’m feeling happy and excited… soup dumplings. I hope you can see a clear pattern here. I just love this quick and easy meal. It’s comforting, consistent, and delicious. That’s all I can say about it. It’s my go-to meal. I just love it.
What else do I love?
I love to teach. I may not be an award winning educator or chosen to be a guest speaker for graduation, I love what I do. I was so happy when I returned back to teaching at the university after leaving K-12 education. Although I spent some time professional development workshops and public speaking as a school trustee, nothing beats teaching students. I love the relationships, the reciprocity, and the joy that comes from teaching and learning. It’s hard to describe, but I love the creative process of planning, prepping, and assessment. Trying new things and making things better with each iteration motivate me. I love the learning that comes with teaching.
But I caught myself this week and noticed what “stokes my fire.” I love assessment. That might be somewhat of an understatement. I’m not an assessment researcher, nor am I one to claim numeric precision or accuracy with my assessment practices. What I will say is, assessment frames, drives, and reflects my pedagogy and values. If I could, I am an advocate for and fan of the single point rubric. I love the idea of having a clear learning target, explicit success criteria, and different ways for students to demonstrate their learning. I found myself just capitalizing a Zoom conversation about assessment in an upcoming keynote my friend/colleague and I are preparing for, and everything that I was teaching during one of my classes was framed around my assessment practice and intentions. I just love it. Assessment is important to me.
When I think about my research program, I am drawn to out-of-field teaching, professional learning, and one’s sense of self-efficacy in the context of teacher education, mathematics education, and climate change education. Where does assessment fit into all of this? Self-assessment and formative assessment are critical within these topics as well as identity, agency, and vulnerability. I suppose that I cannot oversimplify my interest in these areas even though I’m encouraged to articulate this agenda in a sentence or two. Indigenous worldviews and knowledge in addition to culture and my ethnic identity are entangled in my research interest along with leadership, power, and policy. The human experience is a complex one. I am creating my own path. If anything, I am reminded of a conversation I had with a colleague recently… do what makes me happy. It takes courage, patience, and trust.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 14th, 2024 | Comments Off on Looking at Myself
Photo from the UNBC School of Education Facebook Page. EDUC 405 – Reflective Practice through Inquiry and Portfolio – Last Class – Course Instructor: Christine Ho Younghusband – September 6, 2024
September 8, 2024 – The end of an era
Welcome back to school. This is my 6th year at the university and each year has been different, exciting, and new. The experience has been a moment for learning and transformation. As I approach the end of another school year, this will be the first time I will not be supervising the 10-week practicum and I did not supervise the 4-week practicum as well during my non-teaching term. Last term was my first non-teaching term with exception to EDUC 405 (Reflective Practice Through Inquiry and Portfolio) asynchronously. What I had opted to do last term for EDUC 405 was to offer office hours, provide feedback on Block 2 (aka., the winter term) blogs and posts, and prepare this crew for Block 5 (aka., the fall term, the final term for this professional teacher education program). I wanted to make the conclusion of EDUC 405, held at the beginning of Block 5, to be instructive, experiential, and purposeful.
Admittedly, the design and implementation of this course was challenging, or shall I say “pivoting,” to be responsive to the needs, feedback, and feelings of those in the program. In Block 2, I opted to redesign the course to conclude the portfolio course on Friday, September 6, 2024 even though I intended the course of reflective practice and inquiry would benefit from the practicum experience that is iterative and scaffolded throughout the entire program. Teacher candidates transform into colleagues during the 10-week practicum and it would have been amazing to include that voice into the portfolio as evidence of change over time. However, the perceived workload, lack of intrinsic value, and misunderstanding of the course intentions inhibited the success of a fulsome portfolio. In the end, I step back and allow. This group will be the last cohorts to use portfolio to document reflections and inquiry within the teacher education program. This day was more about saying goodbye.
My intention… to engage in a fulsome final class together. The class started with a Land Acknowledgement and the lessons I learned from making the drum. I also wanted to make a correlation with my experience with the drum and portfolio. The message… the drum as a product is not the learning, but rather the lessons embedded in making the drum mattered most. We then lunged into the learning intentions of the class and that we would be experiencing summative and formative assessment practices as learners, but these ideas could also be used during their practicum or future teaching practices in K-12 education. I created a system for students to provide peer feedback and present their work. The focus was on formative assessment, student agency, and “the conversation.” We went through three rounds of dialogue. Each student provided 4 presentations, 8 peer-assessments, and 1 self-assessment. Then, we took a moment to try the “fishbowl” discussion framework to reflect on the value of reflective practice and inquiry and hopes and dreams for Block 5. Finally, we went outside to the ceremonial fire circle to provide “two words” to conclude the course. I was really happy how the class ended.
I wish this crew in the photo all the best. Thank you all for an awesome class!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 08th, 2024 | Comments Off on Back to School – Year 6
Northern Lights in Banff, AB during the Outdoor Learning Conference in May 2024.
Hello September 2024… and I feel that it’s time. I’m ready to jump and take a leap of faith with a flurry of “things to do” and achieve in my work and personal life. Now that my non-teaching team has reached an end, I feel that I found a beautiful balance between resting, writing, and conferencing. I really enjoyed travelling to new places, meeting new people (and reuniting with others), and sharing some of my work to receive some formative feedback. I was pleasantly surprised what people found interesting and I am so grateful that folks are willing to share their interest and enthusiasm with some of the work that I am engaged in. Moreover, I was able to connect with others during the summer to partake in other research projects that are super interesting. What I appreciate though is making the connection. It feels great.
Gosh… it has taken some time (i.e., time to change from tenure-track to tenure) to feel ready to take a chance and explore the possibilities of finding a tenure-track position. Although that seeking such a position is the target, but really, what I am learning is, I am limited in the kind of what I can do as a term faculty member. Don’t get me wrong, I can do a lot of things as term faculty. And, I love teaching and trying out new ideas, so I’m not sad about teaching and continually trying to hone my craft and learn new things. It makes my job fun and I love connecting with students. But during the summer, I realized that I am not able to do some things because of my term position that caught my attention and brought me to wonder about “what do I really want to do?” The answer to this question, at least for me, was not obvious.
Learning experientially has always been the best way for me to learn. I’ve spent the last 6-years learning about higher education, program dynamics, and what was important to me. Concurrently, I was also learning more about myself and my life has changed, shifted, and transformed in ways that was not predicable or desirable. Finally, I feel like I’m on my feet and seeing things with a clear perspective and realistic expectations. Now that I feel more like myself with nothing to prove, but only enjoy the work that I do, I’d love to have a position that offer the flexibility, openness, and purposefulness that I am hoping for. I am so prepared to embark on a few big projects but spent a lot of time deliberating if I could do it. Now, I understand that I can start my work and get things started. The goal is to see where this work take me.
I have never felt so excited. After I take this moment on my blog reflecting on this feeling and understanding, the journey begins. In many ways, it has started, but this next step is about me and the directions I want to take. Of course, if I remain in the same position, I will continue working on these projects that are currently in my imagination as well as finish up on the work that I am currently engaged. What I do know is, the possibilities are endless and I love the idea of having a VISION. Having a vision resonated with me after listening to Dr. Dwayne Donald’s keynote address at the UNBC Teaching and Learning Conference. For me, my vision is that MATH MOMENT… the aha… the joy that comes from discovery and the growth and development of one’s sense of self-efficacy… fuels me. I just can’t wait!! Let’s go…
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 02nd, 2024 | Comments Off on Feeling Ready to Jump
It’s the end of August and next week is the first week of the school year. A new cohort of teacher candidates arriving to the program as well as new students (to me) in the graduate course I am teaching. I have a tonne of things to do, and for this, I am grateful. I managed to complete a chapter with the help and collaboration of my colleagues on a research team, I presented at a national and local conference, and I monitored one of my courses asynchronously. I’m not sure where July and August went. The time just few by and I am so grateful to have some time to rest, travel, and find my rhythm. I love to teach, coach, and present. Connecting is my jam. Yay me!!
Maybe it’s the MATH PERSON in me, but I love making patterns. I had an awesome time supporting a small group of teacher candidates with their presentation at the UNBC Teaching and Learning Conference on August 28, 2024, and I presented twice on August 29, 2024. My first presentation was a LIGHTNING TALK about “in situ” learning at Harwin Elementary for EDUC 421 (Assessment and Motivation) and the second presentation was a panel discussion of which I organized a “fishbowl discussion” with research team members, design team members, UNBC School of Education students, and anyone else who came to our session to talk about local solutions for global impact regarding climate change. All 3 sessions went very well.
I ended my work week (and my first non-teaching term) with working on the webpage for a research project I am working on. I spent about 8-hours to train on the platform, of which I got 100%, and about 4-hours updating the webpage. That work was super satisfying. I was totally procrastinating the online training. The online delivery is not a teaching/learning style I prefer, but I managed to do much of the training in a tent, on a ranch, in Vanderhoof… with wifi… during my tiger time (i.e., 12am to 4am) at a retreat for another project I am working on. I can see why I procrastinated the asynchronous training. It took me awhile to understand what information was important and unimportant, and there were some inconsistencies within the platform. When I returned home, I figured out the glitches and submitted my work. 100% is very satisfying, and updating the webpage was even more satisfying.
What I am realizing is, I do a lot of work that many people may not recognize, see, or value. In the big picture, it does not matter. I like what I am doing. I love travelling, meeting new people, and presenting at conferences (even when the 7-minute Lightning Talk took me HOURS to create, compose, and prepare for). It’s never perfect and I’m always willing to try new things. Most of all, I love to MAKE CONNECTIONS. I love making connections between policy and practice, connections with people, and connections within my practice. I don’t need external validation (i.e., an award, recognition, or promotion). I get plenty of unsolicited compliments from students who can see and experience my work. That’s the ultimate goal. I just need to remember to DO WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY. Everything else will fall into place.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, August 31st, 2024 | Comments Off on Finding My Flow
August 26, 2024 – She called me calm and peaceful.
I’m sensing a pattern with blogging as well with my routines and ways of being. Maybe my weekly blog is a mid-week activity versus a weekend activity. TBD. It’s so ironic. I spent the past year trying to condition myself to “take Saturday’s off”… aka. “be a person day.” Sunday is a slow transition back into work and Friday night is a transition out of work. Of course there is flexibility and such with my time, but I feel that my mind, body, and spirit as become accustomed to having Saturdays off. This Saturday, I engaged in a 4-hour session on making a drum at the Two Rivers Art Gallery. Yes, being a part of this workshop is very aligned to “be a person day” but also aligned to my personal and professional development. It helps me practice.
It’s a beautiful drum. Elk hide. Thank Michael Antoine for making the kits and sharing your knowledge, stories, and singing and drumming with the group. What an incredible voice. I appreciated his pedagogical stance of pride, humility, and enthusiasm. It was a beautiful balance that was held together with humour, love, and culture. It was an amazing afternoon and I learned a lot from the experience… again. This is my second drum. I can keep this one. I loved how the day ended with a circle and the salmon song. It was so powerful and meaningful to me. My first drum is made of moose hide and focused on the wolf. The style, technique, and experience were different. I appreciate the localness and personalized nature of each drum experience. Thank you Two Rivers Art Gallery and Crystal Behn for hosting this event.
I believe I made my other drum almost 13-years ago. Wow. I can’t believe it. I was in such a different headspace then and I feel like it’s a new beginning. This Saturday, I wanted to focus on being present, to listen to the lessons the drum was teaching me, and to have my heart open to the course instructor and those who were sitting next to me during the course. I remained quiet and cognizant of what I was doing. I wanted to be intentional and in a “good place” because whatever I was feeling or thinking was going into that drum. After I took a big breath to centre myself mid-drum making and the person to my left said that I was “calm” and “peaceful.” That caught me off guard. I’ve never been called that. But at that moment, I was calm.
I noticed the frustration of folks around me. Looking for perfection, worried about doing things wrong, or feeling self-conscious of the quality of their work. For me, I was focused on trust, forgiveness, and self-compassion. I shared some of those ideas with my neighbouring folks to help them to be OK with what they are doing. I appreciated the unsolicited help from the person on my left, I helped (along with others) the person on my right and a person across from me. I found the validation and encouraging words from the instructor very helpful, but I felt like I’ve been here before. What I loved the most about this experience was the MATH. Look at it!! The image above show a how things were halved, quartered, etc. The counting, the symmetry, and the estimation (and the physics and chemistry too)… were all good!!
We were also provide supplies to make a drum stick, which was not in the original plan of the course. I took the opportunity and super happy with what I had made. I was such in a “good place”… I invited my daughter to go to Thanh Vu for some beef pho. This meal is one of my favourites and it makes me feel like I’m at home. I’m not Vietnamese, but I love the restaurant and the comfort and joy that comes from this bowl of soup and being with my kid. I hung up my drum and over night I could hear it “ping” when it was drying. There were about a half dozen pings and I noticed that one of the holes in the hide had ripped while drying. This “imperfection” is perfection. It’s my drum. SALMON is coming into my life in many ways. For this, I am grateful.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, August 26th, 2024 | Comments Off on Making a Drum
August 13, 2024 – Situating Myself that Values Myself
Who wants to write a vulnerable blog post? Not me. LOL. I did start my weekly blog post on the weekend by highlighting my love for food. I had no problems scrolling through my photos to find images food. Not just any food, but my favourite food. It was an excellent collection. I even took the time to edit which photos I would share on my blog post. Of course, I hesitated to blog. Is this what I want to share with THE WORLD. Maybe. What I am learning is, how do I put myself “in the front” of things. Meaning, I need to find my value and act accordingly. I spent a good chunk of my time “pleasing” others and doing things that I thought I was supposed to do or was expected of me. Now, I want to be true to myself and act in ways that are aligned to me and my values. It sounds strange to say this as it may imply that I never did. In some ways, it’s true because I would park my own needs to accommodate others.
Learning takes patience and time.
This First Peoples Principles of Learning is something that I take to heart and one of my good friends took the time to describe its meaning to me from the perspective of a Haida woman. I always find this particular First Peoples Principles of Learning in MATH lesson plans. As much as I appreciate the intent by teacher candidates, that would be a western or colonial viewpoint of what this principle really means. What was described to me was, you will experience something but it’s meaning or application will not make sense until it makes sense. Sometimes it could be in that moment, but often it could be days, weeks, months, or dare I say… YEARS later. I feel that I have arrive. The same friend also “called me out” one-year ago (just before I got into a car accident) that my #pandemicreflections blog series that attempted to identify what was important to me was another exemplar of doing the same thing.
She was right. I can name a list of things or experiences that are important to me as “important” but really, what’s important to me, is me. Just like that. As simple as that sounds, it took many opportunities, conversations, and reflections to realize this learning. Yes, learning does take patience and time. Now armed with this new understanding, I find myself acting in ways that honours my values and who I am. I love this saying, “I can compromise with others without compromising myself.” I could not have said it any better. Moreover, my Chair even supports the “new” direction of my research program (i.e., an autoethnography, my ethnic identity, my positionality). My other work is aligned to this work, but what I am also learning is, the target is not a promotion or tenure, but the joy of research and learning more about ME. Ah yes, a Parker Palmer vibration: SELF-KNOWLEDGE. It’s not narcissism, but rather grounding.
I am also learning walking this new path, aside from being super excited about it, I am going to have to learn what it means to put myself first and to do things that are authentic to me. I find myself catching myself and moments, and pausing, re-evaluating, and reflecting on how I would like to move forward in the world that feels good to me, but also considers others and their well-being. It will not be perfect. I am learning. But, I am so grateful to know what’s really important to me and I have a responsibility to act accordingly. This feeling and understanding are liberating and I can’t wait to learn more about Chinese immigration to British Columbia, my heritage and family stories, and more about myself and my positionality starting with my hometown of Prince Rupert. Piecing this puzzle together will be my life’s work and I am very appreciative of the opportunities that are afforded to me to do this learning.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, August 13th, 2024 | Comments Off on Making the Commitment
