Could I be immersed in an existential moment? Possibly. First of all, I feel inspired to contribute to my blog. I believe that this is my third blog post for the week and there might be more. The frequency of inspiration to contribute to my blog post and to reflect is wonderful. I was struggling for quite some time to contribute weekly to 2 WordPress sites. Now that I have returned to one website, while the other one is “on pause” has brought me much joy and freedom. I am blogging because “I want to” versus the “I have to.” The latter is how I’ve led my life and I am learning how to live differently… to live for ME.
As narcissistic as that may sound, what I mean is… it’s ok to be “selfish”… to care for oneself… to do what you LOVE!! Understanding what you love and then doing what you love… is FREEDOM. To do this successfully, you have to live in the moment. Be present. Oh my goodness… I’ve lived in the past for decades, tried to cater my life for an unforeseen future, and based my life on what I thought others expected from me. Thank goodness I have realized that this is all a LIE. For the last couple of years, I’ve been reclaiming my life and I am getting closer to “my best life.” I have never felt better and I am learning how to not take other people’s behaviours personally. I have agency. I have choice.
Vice versa… I can say what I mean. It’s not personal. Also, I’ve been learning to slow down, say “no” to things, and prioritize my health and wellness. My happiness and joy matters. I cherish the little things. My mom passed away 7 years ago and my good friend passed away last month. You cannot take life to granted or take things too seriously. All you can do is, do the best you can (without losing yourself in the process). Father’s Day just happened last weekend and I looked through my Facebook pics to find selfies with me and my dad. I have no idea when I took this screenshot or what we were both doing that day, but I have to say, it’s one of my favourite photos.
If anything, the image brings a smile to my face. Hi DAD!! Find your joy. Be happy.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 18th, 2025 | No Comments »
June 16, 2025 – Happy Belated Asian Heritage Month
Asian Heritage Month was last month. It’s taken this time to everything to slow down enough for me to go through my emails, feel rested, and to have the will to get on to other work. April was spent closing off the winter teaching term and transitioning to a non-teaching term. May was spent preparing for the CSSE 2025 conference in Toronto, finish off someone’s practicum, and tidy up loose ends from other work I was doing. Admittedly, it was a messy (mental) month. I could not believe how soon CSSE 2025 came up and voilà, it’s June. I have to look at my calendar to see what’s I’ve actually done. There was convocation and other manuscripts I have been working on otherwise. I can see was very scrambley up until yesterday. I just had to give myself the permission to just be and there will always be tomorrow. Well, tomorrow is today. And I feel 100%. I feel that I can proceed with life and work with an intentional step. It feels good that I can be intentional and not feel pressured or expected to do something, even though I have a few things to do. It feels good to have agency.
Today, I was looking over some of the emails I keep open and on my desktop to address. Some emails have expired while others are re-read and then minimized to be dealt with at a later time. Yesterday, I was looking for LEADERSHIP FOR CHANGE literature for a course I am teaching in the fall. I found one on DIVERSITY LEADERSHIP co-edited by a person who worked at the university. I downloaded on of the chapters that looked at Chinese Canadian Women and Leadership. Of course, this chapter would capture my attention. Today, I finally opened up the Asian Heritage Month email from the Knowledge Network and just finished watching a documentary on Amy Tan and her life/career as an Asian American and author. Finally, when I was in Toronto for CSSE, I stayed at my aunt’s place, who lived only a 20-minute walk from the conference site and she is one of the younger sisters of my mom. My mom was the second oldest in her family. It was nice when my aunt and I connected that we spoke of my mom from time to time. The conversations brought me a lot of solace.
The images of the flowers above and below are ones that I got for my aunt to say thank you for letting me stay at her place during the conference. Although my aunt lived so close to the conference venue, there were very few places where I could by “a gift” for my aunt that was not a souvenir of Toronto, Canada. Across the street from one of the conference venue sites was Loblaws. I love that name. I always thought it was a funny word when I was a little kid. I even took a selfie in front of the store’s entrance because I thought it was funny. See below. First of all, Toronto was fairly hot that day, so the air conditioning was welcomed. Second, this place was HUGE. They had a Starbucks and so many lunch options. I was seriously looking around for something to eat that day. I was not a big fan of having to “eat out” everyday for meals at the conference, so I got Sushi, chicken wings, and an iced tea that day. It was exactly what I needed. Finally, there was a florist and other things to buy for gifts for my aunt. I got her some flowers (see photos), a thermos, and a couple of mugs.
I had just learned from chatting with my aunt that she loves PURPLE. I had no idea. This colour preference was verified by her closet near the exit/entrance to her place of which was filled with many purple coloured jackets. LOL. Confirmed. She likes purple. Also, her place was recently renovated and her bedroom has a slight purple tint on the walls and her office with pink. The rest of the walls were neutral. Subtle, but not so subtle. LOL. I shared this colour preference with the florist. I was very conflicted because the pre-made bouquets were not predominantly purple. There were purple flowers, but not as a bouquet. A long story made short, the florist suggested that yellow was a good complementary colour to purple and made her this beautiful bouquet. I could not be more grateful. As you can see from the top and bottom images that my aunt made two flower arrangements. There were too many flowers to fit into one vase, so she made two. I love them both. I bring up this story because her act of flower arranging reminded me of my mom. I loved that so much. My aunt also shared with me that my mom said that she liked the water (as demonstrated by all the art images of water in her place), because I too made that comment. Finally, at one of our meals out, I was watching the food come out, and my aunt commented that my mom would do the same thing. Ah yes… learned behaviour. I’m not shy about that, neither was my mom, because she was a foodie at heart.
My tribute to Asian Heritage Month is really a time during the year when I can remember my mom and think about the ancestry I have acquired from her. I do give my mom a lot of credit for this acquisition. I often felt disconnected from my dad. Was it because we are very similar people? That’s what some people say. I think that I give more credit to my mom is because she made an effort to stand by me and she always wanted the best for me, but for me to realize it for myself. I miss my mom and I think my love for Chinese food only resembles hers, and that it was our common attachment, tangible connection, or love language to our heritage.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 16th, 2025 | No Comments »
I went to the dentist this morning to get my teeth cleaned by the hygienist and my teach checked by the dentist. I was feeling very grateful that I am able to adapt my work schedule to accommodate this appointment. I am grateful to have the privilege to have dental coverage. I am super grateful that my parents insisted on dental care and dental health as part of my way of being. I am grateful that I walked out of the dental office with nothing seriously wrong with my teeth. I am also grateful for having the opportunity to drive to the dental office and walk into the office with no help or assistance. I feel very grateful right now for my life and currently health. I am lucky.
I did not expect that this blog reflection would start so deeply, but I do have a lot to be grateful for. Last week was my friend’s Celebration of Life. She was also a second-generation Asian who was a teacher education in the BC school system. We had a lot in common and we were both invested in “Assessment” and “decolonizing our practices.” She knew a lot more than me, and she was ALWAYS willing to share. Her generosity and thoughtfulness was over the top. The week before, I went to Toronto, ON to present 4 aspects of my teaching at a national conference at 4 different Canadian associations. I found my people there and I felt very good about my presentations and being deeply invested in the “Scholarship of Teaching.” And now, I am writing this blog post in my new home. I love being here and I am so grateful that I can support myself, my kid, and my cat. I never thought that would be possible.
I can see misery in others. Some are struggling. Others are suffering. I get it… I’ve been there. Life is not easy, but what I do understand is, you can make the difference. You create what you see. I know that sounds cliché but it’s true. I will also say that it is also challenging to change your point of view because it comes from a place that is deep inside your body and mind. The work is not easy. I don’t think it’s suppose to be. Today, I am figuring out my next steps to complete the spring/summer semester. This planning entails completing some work for a few research projects, getting some writing done for publication, engage and complete work for a couple of projects, and planning and prepping for the fall. This semester is the first time I am not teaching and I am super grateful to have to time to go to conferences and the freedom to produce the work that require some deep thought. I get to do this work. It’s amazing.
I’m not sure what Friday the 13th brings. You might be witnessing right now… GRATITUDE. I cannot and will not take life for granted. I understand my value and it has taken decades to get to where I am today. I feel happy. I love what I do. And, I am very content with where I am. Although I experience some joint pain, wished that menopause would end, and could lose a few pounds, overall… LIFE IS GOOD. 🙂
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 13th, 2025 | No Comments »
Of all the photos to share of my friend, I chose the image of doughnuts that were offered post the Celebration of Life. They also served my friend’s favourite tea. I had the pink doughnut and sencha tea. I loved that these were two of her favourite things (doughnuts from a place a cannot remember… and loose leaf tea)… and that there were choices. #ClassicTeacher. Offering choice and agency to everyone at the celebration. What a wonderful way to remember and honour my friend. I loved it!!
I took many photos at the event. I shared some of the edu-selfies with folks who knew my friend from the teacher education world. I posted those photos on my some of my social media feeds. And, I took photos of the various speakers at the Celebration of Life. I thought it was a wonderful compilation of folks who spoke very highly of my friend. People from her church, workplace, UBC, Pacific Academy, friends, and her family all spoke about my friend in different ways with similar threads and themes.
Some stories shared provided moments of laughter, while other moments felt reflective and affirming. She was a strong and determined person. She was passionate, competitive, and driven. She was a helper. She loved her kids. She fell in love with her life partner at work. She was a committed and devoted educator, counsellor, coach, researcher, and teacher educator. She was a whole bunch of things, many of which I can confirm is all true. She went above and beyond… always.
Maybe not spoken, but I am realizing that I was also afforded the opportunity to get to know the more vulnerable side of her… as a friend and colleague. We spoke lots about what it meant to be a second-generation Canadian-Asian woman in BC Schools and in higher education. We talked a lot about our pedagogical journeys, our families, and our struggles. She always needed a little boost from time to time, but I am realizing she played that role for many others as a mentor, teacher, and friend.
I’m not sure why I feel somewhat reluctant to share the image of my friend on this blog post, and that my first choices were the food that was served outside of the church post-celebration. But what I do know for sure, she was a good friend, an advocate for humanity and equity, and a very smart person. Everyone at the event said that about her. I feel the same way. In some ways, I hope that she knew that as well. It was something that she always strived for, and she was always succeeding.
I guess I will share one story of my friend. I first met her in 2019 at the CAfLN conference in Vancouver, BC. At the time, Twitter was HOT with the educators and she knew me from the social media platform. At the time, I was not in a good place… emotionally and spiritually. I was in a state of transition and admittedly, it was rough. She bounces in and says, “HELLO,” introduces herself, and tried to lift my spirits up with her warmth, kindness, and enthusiasm. Since that day, it never stopped.
Perhaps it stopped in the physical world, but my friend is always in my heart. I feel sad just writing about this and how I am not able to say hello to call her up or take a selfie or to meet somewhere for coffee to chat. I will miss my friend greatly and deeply. I am sure that many others feel the same way as I do. This is not the way she thought it would end, and she struggled and fought for every minute, hour, and day to be with her kids. The journey of saying goodbye could not have been easy.
Every time we texted, sent a voice message, or have a Zoom conversation… I thought it would be the last time I would see her or hear from her. Selfish, I know… but she always seemed to hang in there, made the effort to connect, and she was always thinking of others. That was in her nature. I am grateful for our time together. I am also grateful that she is now at peace and pain free. The fought a good fight and she was determined to win. However, she had the grace and strength to let go.
My friend taught me many lessons since her diagnosis on September 29, 2023. I remember her telling me on the phone at 4:30am. I didn’t know what to say, but to listen. I could her her frustration, anger, and disbelief. I can understand her feelings. She was just on the path that she worked so hard for and deserved. My learning from her last year and a half was, just live your life. Be happy. Nothing in life can be that serious or taken that seriously. Love what you do, rest, and savour every moment.
At CSSE 2023 at York University. She was doing her PhD at UBC… busy and darn proud.In White Rock… I’m guessing in 2021 or 2022. Her hospitality and generosity were unsurpassed.Our first selfie… in 2019 at CAfLN. So up lifting… (PS. We had many selfies together).
I love you, my friend. I will miss you greatly. Rest in peace. XO.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, June 10th, 2025 | No Comments »
As we approach the end of the month and transition to the spring/summer term, I took a moment to visit my family in the Lower Mainland. My cousin and her family came from Boston to Vancouver for a week or so to visit the west coast, and I also had a short visit a niece, nephew, and aunty who also live in Vancouver. I stayed at my brother’s place for a few days. He hosted a family dinner gathering one night and my sister hosted another. On my last day, my sister, brother, and my dad got together to have dim sum, but also visit my mom at the cemetery. We bought her new (fake) flowers for her resting place. Tulips. Very seasonal, but also very MOM. She loved tulips and it’s one of my memories of her when we visited the tulip farms in Abbotsford. We also had pizza that day. It was a good day and memory of mom.
I’m not sure what it will take to get me motivated enough… or ready enough… to engage in an autoethnography. When my mom passed away in 2018, I wanted to write about those 20-days (and my relationship with my mom) to investigate my ethnic identity but in particular write about belonging, self-efficacy, and positionality. I had a wonderful conversation with my cousin one night at my sister’s talking about my mom and sharing with her what I loved about my mom and why she was so special. Was that enough? I have very good memories of my mom, not limited to those 20-days, but I also have some challenging ones. It’s almost like I want to learn more about her so that I can get a better understanding of myself, but also how I make sense of the world in context to my family. I needed to learn about myself.
I am a second-generation Chinese Canadian. I was born and raised in Prince Rupert, BC. I don’t have any language (i.e., Cantonese) or engage in any cultural practices related to my ancestry. I was essentially assimilated to Canadian culture and language by my parents and Canadian society and institutions (even though my parents spoke Cantonese) such that I spent the first half-century of my life denying my cultural heritage and ethnic identity. When George Floyd died in 2020, I was struck by the question: Can I deny who I am for much longer or do I need to step up and “be ok” with being Chinese? A weird question, but it’s one that I had wrestled with for many, many years. Also around this time, I graduated with my doctorate in 2017, my mom passed away in 2018, and I separated from my husband in 2019. I moved away from my family in 2018 to pursue a job, we faced the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, and I lived in my house during the pandemic until my kid moved up with me in 2021.
Up until this point, I was not living my life for myself and I had a lot of misconceptions about “the world.” In 2021, I was starting life all over again and it took a few years to finally find myself, my autonomy, and my agency as a person and academic. Even though I wanted to write about my mom in 2018, I couldn’t. Not because of the persistent crying and sadness, but because I was not whole or ready to write about and examine my experiences in a reasonable and realistic way. Lots was happening, and I was learning more about me. I had to look this up, but I divorced in 2023 (only 2-years ago) and I bought my own place last year (only 5-months ago). My kid continues to live with me and she is finishing up her third year in the nursing program. I am no longer angry, nor am I feeling oppressed or distant from myself.
Now, I know that I am my only agent and advocate. I choose how I would like to see life to be and to do what I love to do to find my purpose, my happiness, and my joy in life. I don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations but my own. The only person I need to prove anything to is myself. I never felt that way before (in my past life) but now I understand that my happiness is my own. I create what I see. I needed this time to “feel” ready to write. Well, I think there is no better time than the present. I was already looking at autoethnography resources (again) during this blog post and thinking about how I will go about collecting data (i.e., journals, self-reflection, interviews, etc.). I am ready. Being with my family this last week helped. Many of my aunties and uncles are still alive as well (in addition to my dad). It’s an opportunity to learn more about my mom and learn more about my identity and belonging.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 29th, 2025 | Comments Off on Being with Family
Oh geez. Can you believe it? My twin brother came to visit me in Prince George. He came to my new place with boxes that I’ve stored in his storage locker in the Lower Mainland for 6-years. AMAZING. I can honestly say that my move is “in theory” complete. All of my stuff, of which I took from my home on the Sunshine Coast is now with me. Right now, those boxes are sitting in my garage. I will get to it when the semester is over and my marking is done. I’m anticipating that the experience of going through my garage, getting the winter tires from the car dealership (and my kid’s tires from my friends place) to store is in some easy and simple, and figuring out an organizing system in such a way that my kid can park her car in my garage is very exciting to me. I’m turning to a new chapter. And yes, I park my car outside on my driveway, but that’s another blog post (if it ever happens). My turn is coming soon.
What a nice selfie. My brother suggested that I take one and send the photo to my sister as evidence of a successful arrival. My twin bro drove up to Prince George from the Lower Mainland. He is “borrowing” my dad’s car, which soon will be his. Although it’s a 2010 vehicle. My mom and dad purchased that vehicle “brand new.” It was very splurgy. My parents never bought a new vehicle for themselves before, so it’s very special. My mom passed away in 2018 and my dad insists on driving the vehicle even though he can only see out of one eye. I say that jokingly, but I’m not joking. I also think that driving a vehicle is a symbol of independence for the elderly. My dad is not getting any younger and I like to believe that it’s something that both my mom and dad took pride in. Anyway, it’s time to pass the baton (aka., vehicle) on to my brother.
I am so happy to see my brother her in Prince George. It’s nice to have company. Normally, I’m going to Vancouver and staying at his place. He arrived Friday night, we went to Mr. Mike’s for dinner for nostalgic purposes only, and spent all day on Saturday together. He just left this morning to drive back home. And, it’s a beautiful sunny spring day for driving. My twin bro is the first family member to visit my home in-person (aside from my kid who lives with me) to check my place out (and drop of the boxes of which he did not want in his storage locker anymore… LOL). The transition to where I am today was SLOW. I’m not complaining, judging, or regretting. It’s been an incredible journey and I am very excited to see what’s in those boxes. A lot of the stuff, I think, are keepsakes, framed prints, and stuff from my mom. I can’t wait to uncover them and really assess what’s stays in my home and what goes. I also feel ready to write about my mom, so getting ethics is also on my things to do.
It’s super interesting when I blog. I love to reflect and take a moment to capture what I am feeling. I spent most of Sunday resting and relaxing. I’m cleaning up my house and taking it SLOW before getting back to the pile of work I need to address. I am doing my best on trying to have a “be a person” day and sleep at a regular time. I spent decades chasing and doing things beyond the means of what is expected of me or from me. I would do all-nighters or stay up really late to get stuff done. I’m now in a stage in my life or mindset where I feel that I would like to enjoy life, do what I love, and rest. There is nothing wrong with rest, but I am realizing that if I value this new pace of work, it’s ok to stay no as well. I guess that correlates to doing what you love as well. I really enjoyed spending time with my brother. I think we’ve done Prince George well and he even took a moment to get to know my cat. See image below. That’s a big deal and I am very appreciative. My twin bro should be home soon.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 30th, 2025 | Comments Off on Twinning
March 16, 2025 – Remembering My Mom in Different Ways
Last week I visited my mom’s resting place in the Lower Mainland. I’m not even sure if that’s what it is called. Her ashes are in an urn, in a glass enclosed shelf, in a building at the cemetery last week. I had visited Vancouver a few times over the last few months, but mostly those visits were related to work and I did not have the opportunity to go visit her. Last week was a weekend trip FOR ME and my brother had borrowed my dad’s car and we went out there to go visit her. I like to keep her updated on what’s happening and to say hello. It’s strange to go visit her. The photo of her that’s by her urn was taken before I was born. It’s not how I remember her as a child, but it’s a photo that she chose that she thought that best represented her. I remember when my mom was alive when she first invested in this resting place for her and my dad. She got name plates and everything. She wanted to take each of her children out to this site complemented with a lunch out at the golf course. By the time it got to my turn, I said… NO THIANK YOU… and that I would visit her when she was at the place, I had no desire to check out her resting place otherwise. So, there I was last week saying hello. A few thoughts shared and a few bows, all was good.
Now that I’m back home and lots of uncertainty with the economy, etc., I am very conscious about what I buy and how much I am spending. I have to pay utilities and property tax right now, and I have no idea what I have to pay for income tax, who knows what I will have to spend in the next few days, months, and years. The idea of going into a recession does not put my mind to ease by any means, but I will admit that I am more conscious about my spending habits and how much things cost as we anticipate rising costs and how much I used to spend. In the end, saving money and minimizing my spending is going to be key. I’ve cancelled a few memberships, and I wanted to cancel my cable package, but it seems like the company is no longer providing a basic cable package. I just need to find places to spend less, even though I am investing dollars in self-care. Strangely, I am just understanding it’s importance and the value in investing in those things like massages and therapy. Nonetheless, I am feeling very aware of money, with my mom whispering in my ear the importance of saving money. It was incredible how much money she was able to save. She was amazing at it. It almost reminds me of “extreme coupon,” the TV reality show.
As a kid, I remembered when we went shopping that my mom would by X-bread. This bread was found in a basket at the supermarket and it had a black X written on top of the price tag. Now as an adult, I know that the X-bread was day-old bread. Stale bread. And this bread was on sale for 50% off. I could never understand why she chose this bread. It almost seemed like she was insistent in buying this bread and I really did not like it. My dad would wake up every morning to have this bread. He would toast it, add peanut butter and honey to them, and he would eat it with a cup of Red Rose tea with milk and sugar. That was his morning ritual. I clearly remember him doing that and sipping from his tea cup. Til this day, I’m not a break-fan. It’s not my favourite even though I find myself toasting it as well, but to have an open-faced egg salad sandwich (of which was not my mom’s favourite). She was saving money. I know that now. So, when I bought this loaf of bread from the Superstore a couple of days ago, I thought of my mom. It was almost a compromise. I’m thinking about how much things cost and it was a fresh loaf of bread, but it cost $1.25. It this economy, it’s a steal. This loaf of bread will last us a long time. On the counter for a few days while it’s fresh, then it goes back into the fridge to have toast like my dad did.
Bread is still not my favourite, but I respect my mom who did what it took to make things happen. I have a huge regard for her and I realize now that I may not have acknowledged a lot that she has done. Admittedly, I never noticed until she had passed away 7-years ago. All of what she used to do for me, my siblings, and my dad are astounding. I had no idea. It’s moment like these when I am reminded that I want to write about my mom… maybe as an autoethnography or biography… not sure. As each day passes and I am “doing the work,” I am building up the courage to bring pen to paper. I will wait for this term to end and make a plan soon after. I had no idea how much of an impact my mom has made on me. I guess you don’t know until you know.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 16th, 2025 | Comments Off on Almost Like X-Bread
January 10, 2025 – What do I really want to accomplish?
Does this sound like a “new year’s resolution” blog post? It has that potential of being one. I have just finished my first week of teaching for the Winter 2025 term and making a conscious effort to get back to familiar routines like writing a weekly reflection in my blog. I just realized from an an email received earlier this week that folks may use this WordPress site to introduce me to others. Of course, I should know that and possibly expect that. But over time, this website has seen some ebbs and tides over time since it’s original conception over 10-years ago when I was using it as a vehicle to promote my edu-consulting business. I have since stepped away from self-employment and have slowly but surely stepped back into teaching and learning more about academia. This website has also followed me into the pandemic and through many life changes that I needed some platform to help me to sense-make though the challenging times, but also the joyful ones. This blog has served me well.
For those who may follow me on Twitter/X, Facebook, or Instagram, I am a bit of a foodie and food-pic fanatic. A part of that LOVE is the joy I seek from a hotel-breakfast, or breakfast in general. Look at it’s simplicity and deliciousness to start off the day. There is nothing I like more than eggs and toast (see image above) complemented with a hot cup of coffee, a glass of water, and a piece of fruit. This image is taken from my new home on my new “fancy” table (it was a splurge). I just love how simple this meal can be and yet it accomplishes everything I want it to achieve. Even the image itself makes me happy. This image serves as a metaphor for 2025. I can see on my landing page for this website that I did not publish anything in 2024, yet I had so many things on the go that had the potential for writing, I was in the middle of writing, or I finished writing and it will not get published until 2025. Guess what? That’s OK, because that’s how 2024 unfolded for me. In 2024, I went to many conferences to present, which brought me a lot of joy, fun, and happiness.
So, what will 2025 bring?
I want to focus on the plate of food. There’s not too much on the plate, but enough on the plate to walk away from the meal feeling satisfied. I know that I will start the year with a publication, a chapter in a book on teacher leadership. This prospect is very exciting and that was a challenge I took on in the fall of 2023, almost burned out in January 2024, but saw through the task by the end of 2024. I learned a tonne from the experience, intended and not intended. I have a book review to complete, a manuscript to revise, two other manuscripts to find a journal to review them, another manuscript to finish writing, two conference proceedings, and a chapter proposal on the horizon. Even describing what I have just listed, it might be 3 different meals (i.e., winter, summer, and fall terms). Nonetheless, there is plenty to do in addition to several research teams I am a part of. There are other publications we are completing and again, many more on the horizon. I feel good about where I am. More is to come.
Avoiding the worm hole means… don’t get caught into things that take you away from this meal. Stay focused. Be content. Do what you love. One thing I do want to do is to pursue the “20 days” research project that is an auto-ethnography on my ethnic identity and how I perceive the world through the lens of being “child number three.” Part of this study is about learning more about my ethnic heritage as a Chinese-Canadian, the role of policy that impacted how I was raised and educated, and how I navigated through my personal and professional life. This study was inspired by my mom. She passed away in 2017 and I spent her last 20-days taking care of her along with other family members. I wanted to write this when she had first passed away, but I was not ready. I had to do so much work on myself such that I needed to see things the way they are before I could even make a commentary of what is (or was). Even when I write this final paragraph, I am self-assessing how I feel, and I feel READY.
Let’s do this!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, January 10th, 2025 | Comments Off on Avoiding the Worm Hole
I’m not really sure what I mean by this. There is no question that I am passionate about coffee and Costco soup dumplings. I would call this image “the breakfast for champions.” I would often eat this meal for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. If I don’t have a lot of time in the morning to make breakfast… soup dumplings. If I’m feeling down and sad… soup dumplings. If I’m feeling happy and excited… soup dumplings. I hope you can see a clear pattern here. I just love this quick and easy meal. It’s comforting, consistent, and delicious. That’s all I can say about it. It’s my go-to meal. I just love it.
What else do I love?
I love to teach. I may not be an award winning educator or chosen to be a guest speaker for graduation, I love what I do. I was so happy when I returned back to teaching at the university after leaving K-12 education. Although I spent some time professional development workshops and public speaking as a school trustee, nothing beats teaching students. I love the relationships, the reciprocity, and the joy that comes from teaching and learning. It’s hard to describe, but I love the creative process of planning, prepping, and assessment. Trying new things and making things better with each iteration motivate me. I love the learning that comes with teaching.
But I caught myself this week and noticed what “stokes my fire.” I love assessment. That might be somewhat of an understatement. I’m not an assessment researcher, nor am I one to claim numeric precision or accuracy with my assessment practices. What I will say is, assessment frames, drives, and reflects my pedagogy and values. If I could, I am an advocate for and fan of the single point rubric. I love the idea of having a clear learning target, explicit success criteria, and different ways for students to demonstrate their learning. I found myself just capitalizing a Zoom conversation about assessment in an upcoming keynote my friend/colleague and I are preparing for, and everything that I was teaching during one of my classes was framed around my assessment practice and intentions. I just love it. Assessment is important to me.
When I think about my research program, I am drawn to out-of-field teaching, professional learning, and one’s sense of self-efficacy in the context of teacher education, mathematics education, and climate change education. Where does assessment fit into all of this? Self-assessment and formative assessment are critical within these topics as well as identity, agency, and vulnerability. I suppose that I cannot oversimplify my interest in these areas even though I’m encouraged to articulate this agenda in a sentence or two. Indigenous worldviews and knowledge in addition to culture and my ethnic identity are entangled in my research interest along with leadership, power, and policy. The human experience is a complex one. I am creating my own path. If anything, I am reminded of a conversation I had with a colleague recently… do what makes me happy. It takes courage, patience, and trust.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 14th, 2024 | Comments Off on Looking at Myself
Northern Lights in Banff, AB during the Outdoor Learning Conference in May 2024.
Hello September 2024… and I feel that it’s time. I’m ready to jump and take a leap of faith with a flurry of “things to do” and achieve in my work and personal life. Now that my non-teaching team has reached an end, I feel that I found a beautiful balance between resting, writing, and conferencing. I really enjoyed travelling to new places, meeting new people (and reuniting with others), and sharing some of my work to receive some formative feedback. I was pleasantly surprised what people found interesting and I am so grateful that folks are willing to share their interest and enthusiasm with some of the work that I am engaged in. Moreover, I was able to connect with others during the summer to partake in other research projects that are super interesting. What I appreciate though is making the connection. It feels great.
Gosh… it has taken some time (i.e., time to change from tenure-track to tenure) to feel ready to take a chance and explore the possibilities of finding a tenure-track position. Although that seeking such a position is the target, but really, what I am learning is, I am limited in the kind of what I can do as a term faculty member. Don’t get me wrong, I can do a lot of things as term faculty. And, I love teaching and trying out new ideas, so I’m not sad about teaching and continually trying to hone my craft and learn new things. It makes my job fun and I love connecting with students. But during the summer, I realized that I am not able to do some things because of my term position that caught my attention and brought me to wonder about “what do I really want to do?” The answer to this question, at least for me, was not obvious.
Learning experientially has always been the best way for me to learn. I’ve spent the last 6-years learning about higher education, program dynamics, and what was important to me. Concurrently, I was also learning more about myself and my life has changed, shifted, and transformed in ways that was not predicable or desirable. Finally, I feel like I’m on my feet and seeing things with a clear perspective and realistic expectations. Now that I feel more like myself with nothing to prove, but only enjoy the work that I do, I’d love to have a position that offer the flexibility, openness, and purposefulness that I am hoping for. I am so prepared to embark on a few big projects but spent a lot of time deliberating if I could do it. Now, I understand that I can start my work and get things started. The goal is to see where this work take me.
I have never felt so excited. After I take this moment on my blog reflecting on this feeling and understanding, the journey begins. In many ways, it has started, but this next step is about me and the directions I want to take. Of course, if I remain in the same position, I will continue working on these projects that are currently in my imagination as well as finish up on the work that I am currently engaged. What I do know is, the possibilities are endless and I love the idea of having a VISION. Having a vision resonated with me after listening to Dr. Dwayne Donald’s keynote address at the UNBC Teaching and Learning Conference. For me, my vision is that MATH MOMENT… the aha… the joy that comes from discovery and the growth and development of one’s sense of self-efficacy… fuels me. I just can’t wait!! Let’s go…
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, September 02nd, 2024 | Comments Off on Feeling Ready to Jump
