March 19, 2024 – Grateful for My Health and Healthcare
A late post, indeed. It’s the middle of the night and it’s a late weekly post. Although this blog was not meant to be a weekly contribution, nor will it be a daily post because I need time to think and reflect, I like to have something written at least once a week. What I am learning is, I need to reflect (and learn) before moving onto the next. I am noticing and honouring this trait and tradition I have made for myself. Thinking about Parker Palmer and self-knowledge, the more I learn and understand about myself, in addition to the subject matter and students, the better I will be at my practice. I am so grateful to connect with some former students and colleagues. I am making time to meet with folks who “fill my cup” and hopefully I do the same for them. If anything, I need to do what’s best for me so that I can serve others.
Today, I was relishing in my #OneWord2024 (HAPPY). I am taking the time and deliberate practice on what makes me happy. I love watching curling on TV. I love playing curling on Friday nights. I love beading on Thursday nights at the art gallery. I love connecting with folks in my learning community. I love being with my kid. I love eating dumplings. I love watching Hallmark movies. I love blogging. I am learning lots about myself and taking the time to engage in these activities. What I learned today is, I love health practitioners and healthcare system. Much of what I’ve been focused on is my mental and spiritual health. I spent very little time on my physical health even though I know it is interrelated with the latter. Willingly or not willingly, I have been deferring and referring to the medical profession for help and assistance.
I take some medication that I have to renew my prescription every 3-months, I have been maintaining my dental health and appointments (with full intentions of flossing everyday), and I have been experiencing some symptoms and conditions that need some tending do. Although I am not being specific with my medical condition in my public blog, I did get a couple of referrals last year and now I am hearing back from some medical professionals. Over the last couple of weeks, I received some phone calls and had a phone consultation and in person consultation. I was so pleased to get these calls and grateful to be taking some action to address some my health issues. Today, I got good news too. I could not be happier. To ask and accept help from health professionals, I am going to feel and be much better… physically.
Body, mind, and spirit… I was wondering how all three would come together for me. Now, I understand. I am also learning how to go to the gym on a regular basis, but also return to a workload that is doable, joyful, and productive. What I learning is about the importance of being CONSISTENT. Although this blog post is not exactly about my autoethnography on “the perfect curling shot.” It’ is focussed on this key word of being consistent. That word struck me after one of my curling games this season. We won the game. I was skipping and our spare curled third. My skip is injured. The team I am skipping have a good synergy or balance that is tough to describe to create, but when you have it… magic happens. For us, it’s curling and being consistent. After winning one of these games, one of the players for the other team shook my hand and told me that I was consistent. I took the complement.
What I should notice is, you can’t play if you’re injured. You play your best when everyone on the team is focused on learning and making the best of every shot. And, what I learned from my last game, getting down on teammates, judging others (or self) in negative ways, and blaming others or getting frustrated negatively impacts one’s performance. I am not saying that this is what happened on my team last week (but have done so at other times and with other teams), I observed that in our opponents. I’m not judging them but merely noticing and recognize that behaviour. Admittedly, I would not got to the doctor’s or healthcare if I did not have to or think that I had too. I was too worried about being judged or worried about what I would learn. I was definitely in denial. Instead of things getting better, they got worse. I guess this is how today’s news impacts my curling metaphor. Get help to be better.
In the end, what I have learned is, asking and getting the help I need, regardless of how scary I may perceive this experience and future experiences, people want to help, they can help, and I need the help. I am going to feel better. I have never felt happier. I feel optimistic and hopeful. I cannot wait for next steps and I look forward to what life will be like when I have some of my health issues remedied and/or managed. It feels good to have access to this help and I feel privileged and humbled to get this help. Thank you health professionals for your expertise, kindness, and compassion. I am grateful to have access to health care to become a better me.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 20th, 2024 | Comments Off on A Late Post
I’m not sure how it happens, but it’s a thought pops into my head that brings some solace and peace into my heart and mind. I’m not sure what all of the deliberation entails, but often it involves something very important to me. During the deliberation process, I’m left in limbo. It’s not a great place to be, but as one person said to me during beading… COMMIT. This is so true. I know that the context at the time was beading at the art gallery and it was about committing to the bead and process, but it resonated with me in ways that lingered and challenged me to make a decision.
My blogging on this WordPress site will explore my learning from curling, beading, and experiences with my mom during her last 20-days. I am feeling more invested in exploring autoethnography and using this platform to document some of my learning and reflections as I work towards a formal study on myself, my practice, and ethnic identity. I am drawn to the idea of identity development (mine in particular) and how our lived experiences formed who we are, what directions we choose to take in life, and what’s important to us in terms of our personal and professional lives.
I started my research program with much tentativeness as well as moving forward with publishing its results. Now with the discovery of the methodology of authoethnography and developing a research question that resonates with me deeply, I knowingly or unknowingly made a connection to my dissertation on non-mathematics specialist teachers, program evaluations in teacher education, and recent work looking at decolonization and my ethnic identity. I did not think it would be possible to bring these ideas together, but I found the thread that ties them.
When I realized that, my mind drifts to the next question about my career and next steps. Part of that depends on where I live. At first, I did not expect to live in Prince George, but I’ve been here for almost 6 years (minus 2-years due to the pandemic and remote learning). Lots of what I’ve been upacking is what’s best for me and what do I want to really do. I am so grateful to take a moment to step back and look to reflect on what that might be. Now that I am unravelling my own “imposter syndrome” symptoms and the “need to please” others, the answer became clear.
I’m deciding to stay. There are challenges, but there are also many sources of joy. When I consider both, the joy outweighs any adversity and perceived obstacles. I am open to any outcome and understand that nothing is permanent or forever. I am learning this the hard way and in many ways. What is certain is making a decision. I am making the commitment and in doing so, I have so much clarity now such that my motivation and excitement are unleashed. I feel free and open to the challenges that are in front of me and ones that I will be looking for very soon to keep learning.
I have not felt this excited in awhile and I am going to take those next steps to make things possible for me. I am my only agent and advocate. I am learning this and I am stoked to make more decisions to stoke my fire. Where I was going to live and make a commitment to weighed on me for quite some time and have been swayed in different directions for many reasons. What I do know is, I feel happy, I’m excited, and I’m ready to live, take risks, and play. How can I be so lucky to do what I get to do and I am so grateful for my friends and family who support me and lift me up.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 11th, 2024 | Comments Off on Making a Decision
Well… it’s been 5-days since my last post. There will not be a daily blog post. Accept and allow. I’m not sure why I continue to strive for unrealistic goals, but when I think about my #OneWord2024… being HAPPY is also knowing what makes you happy. Admittedly, this last week was an excellent counter example and my curling on Friday was evidence of that. My mind was elsewhere, my body was not 100%, and my spirit was lagging. When you’re not all there and PRESENT, it shows up in your day-to-day life. Reflecting on my game, I was very aware what other people were doing, saying, and possibly thinking. What a horrible place to be. Why did it matter? Why was it important to me? In the end, it was all not important and consequences are real.
I am also reminded by the beading classes I’m taking at the art gallery. I curl on Fridays and bead on Thursdays. As mentioned, this last week was not great for me, emotionally and physically. On Sunday, I just joined the gym and went a couple of times. Unfortunately, I think I’m overdoing it and it’s taking my body some time to recover. My plan is yoga on Sunday. Let’s see how this goes. Anyway, back to beading, when you are not focused, present, or attuned to what you are doing, you stab yourself with the needle. It never fails. You cannot daydream, worry about what other people are thinking, or be too judgemental of your own work. You have to bead from a good place and be present. I love beading on Thursdays. It’s one of my places.
“BELONGING: a feeling of being happy or comfortable as part of a particular group and having a good relationship with the other members of the group because they welcome you and accept you” – Cambridge Dictionary
A lot of what I would like to explore further in my research agenda is BELONGING or the sense of belonging. My overarching research question is about “not quite belonging” and this knowing or feeling connects many aspects of my professional experiences and what interests me the most. In order to explore this idea of belonging (or lack there of) further, my Chair has encouraged me to learn more about myself. This opportunity to delve into self-knowledge and understanding more about myself, possibly in a self-study, autoethnography, or program evaluation, I need to take a moment to unravel and unpack my lived experiences to understand my positionality, identity, and sense of belonging. I’ve started to explore and inquire.
Ideas such as self-doubt, misalignment, and inauthenticity are elements at the core of my investigation. I spent many years of my life trying to be someone that I am not. Some would call it “people pleasing” others might call it “assimilation” while in other cases it was more about “fitting in.” I believed that it was something I had to do to belong. What I know know is, I was wrong. According to Brené Brown, the opposite of belonging is fitting in. Regretfully, I spent many years trying to “fit in” and yet, I never belonged. That’s a harsh reality. The fear of not fitting in or fear of not doing what it takes to fit in misguided me for a long time. Now, I know and I am re-learning my values, my beliefs, and what it means to do what’s best for me. The journey begins…
“The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.” – Brené Brown
This is a difficult lesson: I am enough. I don’t have to prove myself, I don’t have to explain myself, and I don’t have to defend myself… anymore. Living in the shadow of others or seeking the approval from others are not ways of living that is being truthful or authentic to me. I saw that in last week’s curling game. The constant worry and self-doubt throughout the game equated to underperformance, lack of clarity, and a losing outcome. I’m not even sure about being so vulnerable in my blog post, but not doing so is not accepting myself for who I am. The last two weeks have been incredible to rest, restore, and find the clarity I need to be consistent, kind, and compassionate to me and my needs. I can do this. I accept myself. I am happy.
Everyday cannot be “the perfect curling shot.” Learn from your mistakes and try again. Focus on consistency. Don’t dwell. Stay in the game and trust each throw.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 10th, 2024 | Comments Off on Off My Game
Holy moly… Yesterday, my site had ZERO attempts to log into my account. Over the last 24-hours, I had 1800+ attempts. Was it something I said? I changed the title of my last blog post and let’s see how that goes. The last thing I want are bots attempting to get into my WordPress site. I just finally gained access to it (by accident). I almost gave up this site because my access to this site was limited and deteriorating with each update. Not that I have regained access to my site, I never want to let it go. LOL. It was a nice reunion with my WordPress site a few months ago. I hope the number of attempts reduce over time, but my last post was an epiphany, so I can see why folks (or bots) might be attracted to my site. LOL. Just a side thought. Who knows? TBD.
I love this photo. There is nothing more comforting (to me) than a hot bowl of pho. It’s one of my most favourite things to eat and I feel lucky that there is a place in Prince George I can go to and seek this moment of solace. I love the service and I love the familiarity. And, it was delicious. I am finally feeling like myself. I feel rested. I feel aligned to who I am. Ironically, I’m getting a bit dozy writing this blog post, but I woke this morning feeling like I’m rested. Most times I wake feeling tired or anxious. Today, was a good feeling. I made breakfast (refried rice and a sunny side up egg with soy sauce) and had a hot cup of coffee. Ahhhh… my favourite things again (although I would have loved a piece of Spam, but the body can no longer have it… #sadness).
Saturdays… (aka. be a person day)… I recycled, cleaned the house, grocery shopped, vacuumed, and dusted… I’m blogging, watching the Brier or Hallmark movie, and taking the time to make a yummy lunch (i.e., a bagel with cream cheese and lox, a sliced orange, and a diet coke). It’s the first time in a long time that I feel like I’m myself. What a weird thing to say. I feel at peace. I don’t feel like I’m in the hustle and I feel aligned to who I am. I love that I get to think about what platform I would use to document my “stories” to explore the methodology of autoethnography or to pause and think about the “pile of marking” I need to accomplish and complete in the near future. I feel good about this place and way of being. Focus the curling shot… that’s it.
I can appreciate the little things. I’m no longer scared or worried about what people think or will do. I don’t feel compelled to impress anyone, nor do I feel motivated to limit myself or be someone who I am not. I think about my autoethnography of “the perfect curling shot”… none of these factors matter. What matters is knowing the shot you want to throw, executing the technical aspects of the delivery, and staying within the moment to achieve the shot. Moreover, your team also have to be on board with the shot. As soon as there is any self-doubt, worrying about the outcome, or thinking about the opponent in that moment of making the shot, you’ve missed the shot.
The last few weeks have been transformative and I am feeling like my 13-year old self alive an well. I have to admit, this journey of understanding myself (or finding myself) has been one with may up and downs. If anything, you have to have those tough conversations, connect with friends and family, forgive and have compassion for self and others. Huge vulnerability is required as well as a piece of humble pie. I am more about myself and therefore I am learning more about my teaching practice, which in turn contributes to my research program. The goal is to find the goods internal to the practice. I am learning and think I found it. And much like curling, stay consistent.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 02nd, 2024 | Comments Off on Feeling Rested
As much as I would like to say that I’ve celebrated the Lunar New Year with a mini-family reunion in Vancouver last weekend, but I got sick and spent my time isolating myself in a hotel room with hopes of feeling better to fly back on my return flight. Not the best way to spend my time or money, but I did have one critical conversation with one of my aunties that served as a tipping point to move forward with my research program investigating my heritage, family history, and ethnic identity. In doing so, how does this understanding impact my understandings and implementation of policies in BC education relating to anti-racism, decolonization, and curriculum.
I’ve just celebrated 5-years of service at the university. The last 5-years entailed many ups and downs, personally and professionally. In all of that, I had to learn more about myself. I never thought when I had left teaching over a decade ago, that I would be on a pedagogical journey that extended beyond life as a doctoral student and school trustee. It’s almost like I had to unravel in a way to find myself again. Now, I’m in a place where I want to learn more. My co-author and I will be returning to a recently submitted manuscript on our ethnic identity as second-generation Asian Canadian women growing up in northern BC and becoming BC educators to make revisions.
That writing experience opened a pandora’s box. There’s a part of me that is very interested in Chinese immigrants to BC and understanding how Chinese people are perceived in BC. After George Floyd’s death and the pandemic, Chinese people are racialized and marginalized in ways that I’ve never seen before. Even as “advanced” as we may believe that we are with racism in Canada, I have experienced lateral violence, micro-aggression, and hate that I have no words to rhyme or reason why it would happen. I learned in the last year that I’ve been living my life as a model minority and that people don’t get recognized for doing good deeds for others.
That said, I also struggled with the idea of being assimilated into Canadian culture (by my parents) through policy such that I have no language, no culture, and no understanding of what it means to be Cantonese. I was also positioned in my family as “number 3” of three children where I had always perceived my older sister as “number 1” and my twin brother as “number 1a.” Even though I felt this way for more than half a century, it was sadly confirmed by one of my aunties at this mini-reunion I missed most of last weekend. She said that she noticed this “mistreatment” and had once approached my dad about the issue when I was young. It did not go well.
What I know for sure is, this is a journey I need to pursue further. This conversation I had with my aunty was instrumental to understanding that this feeling within my family (and my identity) was not in my head. It was real. My deep desire to seek approval from my father was real and that need sadly transcended into everything else in my life which essentially meant abandoning my values and beliefs to seek the approval of others. This is not belonging. It’s taken me some time to realize that true belonging is to belong to oneself, to love oneself, and to accept oneself. I am now determined to learn more about my family as part of my research program
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, February 25th, 2024 | Comments Off on A Tipping Point
February 11, 2024 – One day into the Lunar New Year
Gong hei fat choy. The Year of the Dragon. I welcome the new year wholeheartedly.
I am not sure if I want to start my blog post with situations of stress or moments of inspiration. I actually have both such that one interplays with the other If anything, I feel the ship turning as we approach the Lunar New Year. Yes, I begin and end with curling. I recall last week that I’ve deliberated whether or not to talk about curling on this WordPress site or the one I use for work. As it turned out, I wrote it on my work WordPress site. The Science of Curling. The blog post was inspired my science project I did in Grade 9 and a curling game I had a couple of weeks ago. Writing about curling was inspired by a shot a made a few weeks ago to win a game. What I have learned last week that I would like to unpack in my blog is the MINDSET for curling. Again, I am learning about very complex ideas from my expertise and understanding of the game of curling. I did the same association to learn about “the goods internal.”
Where to start…
THE PERFECT CURLING SHOT. The new year begins with my skip injuring himself mid-game and me picking up the skip’s role after the 5th end. I took the 6th end to figure out the ice. The 7th end to figure out my game. And, the 8th end to assure the team of my new role as skip. The end got a little crowded with lots of rocks in play and we had one shot hidden behind a few guards sitting in the four foot. I can remember the house. There were many rocks in play and the ice was tricky. The opponents throw their last rock and it sits as shot in the 4-foot just above our rock which was second shot. They thought we won the game, but really, they tied the game. I had my last rock to throw. Again, the ice was unpredictable and we had to go around a few guards to tap back their rock and hit it in such a way that would have to curl around the guards enough to hit their rock on the inside. I called the shot. The second held the broom and the lead was ready to sweep my rock. No questions asked and we were all on board. We were playing the 8th end during the first draw. This timing meant that we had an audience. The two teams were waiting to play next and stood behind the house to watch our shot. I remember the CLARITY, the silence, and certainty. I threw the stone, I called sweeping, and we made the shot… perfectly. It was amazing. We ended up winning the game by 3-points. 8-5. It was an amazing moment. We celebrated and winning the game was a great way to start the year.
PICKING UP A SPARE. The next game we picked up a spare to play third. This player normally plays skip on other nights but can play any position. I was grateful that she was willing to play third. Deep down inside, I wanted to play skip. It was a humbling game. What I mean by that was, the spare had a lot of things to say about the game. It was a good thing. I called it “curling school.” My comments were not meant to make fun of what was being said, but we were learning a tonne about the game in terms of strategy, ice, and execution. I really appreciated this help and we won that game 12-3. Although our team needed this support and nudge to focus more on the game, I needed to learn how to listen to my voice too versus feeling tempted to second-guess my calls or ask for input for every shot to prevent myself from second-guessing. In the end, it does not become “my game” by doing that. The spare understood this.
BEING CONSISTENT. My skip remains injured and we continued playing with the spare as third. The spare took a step back from being the instructor of “curling school” but they remained focussed and competitive, which was healthy for me and the team. There was a healthy balance between calling our own game and asking for help when we needed it. One shot at a time. One after the other, we established an amazing FLOW as a team. It was not a matter of making or missing the shot, but more about playing the game. We were focused on every moment and making the most of every shot. We were still figuring out the quirks of our “new team” in terms of the amount of ice, how we throw, and communication. Our opponents were equally in the game and every shot for them mattered too. We played a full 8-ends and played every rock. I even threw my last rock even though we had already won our game. It felt amazing to end the game by making both of my shots, which were take outs to clear the house and maintain our lead. We won 8-4. We shook hands and one player on the other team said to me, “you were consistent.” That was a nice compliment.
YOU’RE NOT MAKING THIS GAME FUN. I held that compliment into my work week. I was reflecting on how this mindset could be translated into my everyday life. Be consistent. Focus on the game. One shot at a time. In the end, no one is trying to miss their shot or lose the game. There is definitely a synergy in every shot and being consistent matters. I tried to transfer my CURLING MINDSET to my life and way of being. By the time we got to this week’s game, I was exhausted, distracted, and discouraged. I could not let my work interfere with my curling game. My curling mindset was enacted. I had a cup of coffee before the game and had a “different song in my head” to ground my thinking. One rock at a time, we started the game. We stole one point in the first end, then stole two points in the second end, etc. We stole every point for 6-ends, the buzzer went, and the opponents shook hands after the 6th end. We won the game 8-0. There was no way for the opponents to win in the 7th end. It was an amazing game. I stayed focused. I stayed calm. I did not let things distract, annoy, or disappoint me. We just played the game. Every end, the skip’s last rock for the opponent were very difficult to make. They kept chasing us. We did not waiver.
I was so proud of myself and my team. I did not feel sorry for the other team. I had not malicious or ill intent. We were playing within the rules of the game to win the game. That’s it. We were just playing the game. We were focused and had fun. I had some really nice compliments from the other team, like “nice shot” or “you’re not making this game fun” or “you had an excellent game.” I don’t expect those comment, but I do expect etiquette, respectful play, and a good game. We got that. Apparently, the other team has not been shut out this year. What I am so impressed with is, we stole every point. Statistically, it’s very challenging to achieve. It was never the goal, but it’s an achievement that is worth noting. We have won every game I’ve skipped so far this year and we won one game during the first half of the season. I played third. Maybe it’s not my position. I don’t mention the win-loss record to nourish my ego, I say it to affirm the importance of mindset and intention. The wins and loses are only by-products of how we play the game. This idea is the lesson learned from curling.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, February 12th, 2024 | Comments Off on A Curling Mindset
What’s hiding behind the trees? Is this what’s it’s meant about seeing the forest through the trees? I’ve spent the week recovering from the week previous. I did not expect to need so much rest, but apparently I needed it. Today, I feel 1000 times better than I did yesterday and a 1000 times better that I did the day before. Repeat the sequence to the beginning of 2024. Wowza. You do the math!!
I also thought I would have been blogging about “beading with the kid” but that will have to wait as well. It’s not the right time or my inspiration. Today, I am going to be plowing into writing about teacher leadership and building up my momentum by writing in my blogs to recognize and appreciate the joy I feel. Admittedly, the joy comes from the little things and that’s what I’m holding on to. Right now, I’m rested.
Gosh. When I’m not feeling happy, I’m distracted by looking at places to live on MLS, looking at jobs at other universities, or deliberating returning back to teaching mathematics in K-12. Looking OUT (where the grass may be greener) is not an effective way to find happiness. What I am learning is, being happy comes from within… and feeling rested helps. LOL. I am reminded about what’s important to me. Do what you love. The little things make the difference. Just enjoy and savour.
My friend called me last week. She’s in the middle of some major treatments and dealing with a condition that has transformed her life beyond one’s imagination. Her life pivoted in a moment and it has never been and never will be the same. She had a “good day” because she was not able to engage in a treatment that day and felt well enough to give me a call while her family was out. I was honoured and humbled. She wanted to talk about the ordinary, but truth, the ordinary is not extraordinary. I loved connecting with her again and miss our long conversations we used to have before. If anything, the phone call was more about enjoying and savouring the moment.
I am brought back to my curling game. Do what you love. Be in the company of good friends. One moment at a time, in the zone, and not in the grip of worrying about outcomes, people’s opinions, or the perception of high stakes and risk. I love that feeling. I imagine myself “throwing the rock.” If you’re lucky, you might see me doing that in the hallway, in my office, or at the mall. I do that to remind myself of the “good feelings” of the game and being in the zone. It’s this place, curling as a metaphor, is what’s really important to me. Also, it’s a place where I am happy. Curling continues to teach me life’s lessons… including Alasdair MacIntyre. Yes!! The goods internal.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, February 04th, 2024 | Comments Off on Being Happy
January 30, 2024 – Finding My Flow, Finding My Jam
BREATHE. That’s a nice reminder. I took it slow this morning and got my 2-step authentication device resolved this afternoon. Gradually, I got back into the rhythm of work with an online conference with BC educators. That was good. I appreciated their enthusiasm and learning intentions for K-12 learners. Initially, I intended to write about my experience beading with my kid last Thursday at the Art Gallery, but that will have to wait another time. Right now, I’m inspired to write about REST, finding my flow, and finding my jam. Last week was INTENSE for me and I almost burned out.
At times, I feel like that I am working 1.5+ jobs and I need to remember what sparks my fire and complement that with a healthy dose of REST, good food, good company, and exercise. There were some key deadlines for the end of the month and it took the wind out of me. I’m keep up with the day to day, but I am super behind on other aspects and tapped out on the demands of this month’s timelines. Luckily, I got an extension for one project. One week, hence, I’m still in the grind. Consequently that serendipitous gesture gave me a brief moment to breathe… and sleep. I needed it.
I spent the entire weekend resting. I did not have the will or strength to work. I was exhausted. Even the day to day activities were tiresome, hence no blogging this weekend either. Monday was a full 12-hour day and today, I spent my time taking it slow. I feel more like myself today, but that second deadline looms as well as all of my day to day work and things I’ve parked for the moment. It can get overwhelming bu tall i can do is take it one step at a time. I can give my best (of that moment) and that’s all I have to give. The thing is, I am ok with that. I have to be. I am doing my best.
In that hectic week, filled with a lack of sleep of over burden of tasks and timelines, I ended my week with a game of curling on Friday. I was so tired. My skip is currently injured and I am skipping the team and the spare is playing third (aka. my position on the team). Oh man… as soon as the game started, I was awake. I had a zippy tune in my head to keep me on-task and focused, but I was so attuned to the game. I just love playing skip and playing with my team. We won 8-4. A full game of 8-ends and we played our last rock. I was so jazzed and “in the moment,” I ended the week HAPPY.
I want to notice this feeling. I was so tired before the game (during the week). I was so tired after the game (during the weekend). Being on the ice, skipping, and we were having a really good game… what was that? I was so in the flow. Curling is my JAM. I’m not going to play professionally or competitively, but there is something about the game I need to learn from. I love working with others, with the same goals, mindset, and vision. I love getting feedback from my teammates and compliments too. I love the skill required and strategy of the game. I love the competition. I felt energized.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, January 30th, 2024 | Comments Off on Feeling Energized
One of the things I remembered from my doctoral studies was one really innovative academic (and also doctoral student) gathered data from those who anonymously contributed to a blog as feedback to some public performances and not having to get ethics to use that information. It’s not to say that I would not be seeking ethics for my self-study, but I just want to start somewhere with my reflections and understanding. I am driven by the work of Parker Palmer, Alasdair MacIntyre, David A. Kolb, and K. Anders Ericsson, and John Dewey. Self-knowledge, the goods internal, experiential learning, and deliberate practice are principles I want to know more about but also I embed these principles into my pedagogy and practice. It guided my practice and I am more aware of them as a teacher educator.
What I want to focus on this blog post is looking at what it means to develop this self-knowledge as a teacher leader. I am writing about teacher leadership for a potential chapter submission and what I am learning is, the literature is not definitive or straightforward. Make sense… there are so many perspectives on what teacher leadership is, and if there is no formal positions, policy, or literature that can clearly define what teacher leadership is, the scholarship and notion of teacher leadership cannot develop. It’s not to say that I am going to accomplish a succinct definition of what teacher leadership is, event though I believe all teachers are leaders. I want to start my journey of self-discovery though my 2024 commitment to beading and my #oneword2024 of HAPPY. My first beading class of 2024 was with my daughter.
The lessons are at Two Rivers Gallery. I have been to a couple of beading lessons before, but this year I wanted to commit some time for ME and my personal growth. As a result, I signed up for every beading class during the winter term. It’s 3-hours every week on Thursdays. It’s humbling and rewarding at the same time. in the image, the silver pendant is my daughter’s beading and mine is the eye drop pendant. I love the outer edge and the middle was a strong attempt on beading a circle around a central bead. What I am going to focus on is the beading journey and what feelings it may bring me. I am planning to submit an ethics application soon to engage in a self-study. My chair advised me that this would be the best first step for me in my research program. In 2023, I was deeply invested in learning more about my ethnic identity as a BC educator. I am also stoked about returning back to my dissertation on math education, professional learning, and subject matter acquisition. But, the real work begins with me and my story. I look forward to this journey of discovery.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, January 21st, 2024 | Comments Off on Begin with Beading
January 16, 2024 – Shifting Gears and Finding Momentum
If you notice carefully, the snow is accumulating rapidly on my patio’s edge. This photo was taken this morning and there is more snow now. It snowed all day and I stayed home all day, working from home. I feel like I have finally overcame the obstacles known as the CCV (the Canadian Common CV), which was a good learning experience. There were a few administrative bits to handle this afternoon and now I am transitioning into writing. So, why not blog? I am grateful in many ways to have a job that is highly dependent on my computer. I’ll be back on campus tomorrow.
This image is a common photo I post daily on my Twitter/X account to share “today’s #patiopic” that is complemented with a thought of the day or pleasant commentary of what is. The weather started warming up a bit to -8 degrees Celsius, but will be cooling down again to temperatures close to -19 degrees. At least it’s not -40 degrees like it was last week with the windchill factor. That said, I do appreciate the blue sky and sunny days when its super cold out. As you can see, it was a cloudy and snowy day today. It gives me a moment to pause and reflect. Hence, I’m inspired to blog.
I am brought to the idea of what’s important to me. Here we go again… not to belabour the issue, but really it’s more about figuring out the nuances of what’s important to me. I am noticing. I am wondering. I am deliberating what action to take. Ultimately, I need to trust my instincts and right now the arrows are pointing towards my doctoral research and investigating mathematics education, out-of-field teaching, and teacher professional development. My heart and spirit are alive in mathematics and assessment, so I need to explore that further as part of my research program.
In the meantime, I will direct my attention to teacher agency, teacher leadership, and climate change education. I am working with a research group and we had the opportunity to learn more about the writing process, teacher leadership, and knowledge dissemination. Admittedly, there has been a tonne on my plate and I advocated to continue with this chapter writing. Now, I need to follow through on it. In hindsight, I should have advocated for myself and put my work first. I am learning, no doubt. And, I have no regrets. Things happen exactly how they should happen.
Onwards and upwards.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, January 16th, 2024 | Comments Off on Staying Indoors
January 20, 2024 – You have to start somewhere