Feeling Rested
March 2, 2024 – Onwards and Upwards
Holy moly… Yesterday, my site had ZERO attempts to log into my account. Over the last 24-hours, I had 1800+ attempts. Was it something I said? I changed the title of my last blog post and let’s see how that goes. The last thing I want are bots attempting to get into my WordPress site. I just finally gained access to it (by accident). I almost gave up this site because my access to this site was limited and deteriorating with each update. Not that I have regained access to my site, I never want to let it go. LOL. It was a nice reunion with my WordPress site a few months ago. I hope the number of attempts reduce over time, but my last post was an epiphany, so I can see why folks (or bots) might be attracted to my site. LOL. Just a side thought. Who knows? TBD.
I love this photo. There is nothing more comforting (to me) than a hot bowl of pho. It’s one of my most favourite things to eat and I feel lucky that there is a place in Prince George I can go to and seek this moment of solace. I love the service and I love the familiarity. And, it was delicious. I am finally feeling like myself. I feel rested. I feel aligned to who I am. Ironically, I’m getting a bit dozy writing this blog post, but I woke this morning feeling like I’m rested. Most times I wake feeling tired or anxious. Today, was a good feeling. I made breakfast (refried rice and a sunny side up egg with soy sauce) and had a hot cup of coffee. Ahhhh… my favourite things again (although I would have loved a piece of Spam, but the body can no longer have it… #sadness).
Saturdays… (aka. be a person day)… I recycled, cleaned the house, grocery shopped, vacuumed, and dusted… I’m blogging, watching the Brier or Hallmark movie, and taking the time to make a yummy lunch (i.e., a bagel with cream cheese and lox, a sliced orange, and a diet coke). It’s the first time in a long time that I feel like I’m myself. What a weird thing to say. I feel at peace. I don’t feel like I’m in the hustle and I feel aligned to who I am. I love that I get to think about what platform I would use to document my “stories” to explore the methodology of autoethnography or to pause and think about the “pile of marking” I need to accomplish and complete in the near future. I feel good about this place and way of being. Focus the curling shot… that’s it.
I can appreciate the little things. I’m no longer scared or worried about what people think or will do. I don’t feel compelled to impress anyone, nor do I feel motivated to limit myself or be someone who I am not. I think about my autoethnography of “the perfect curling shot”… none of these factors matter. What matters is knowing the shot you want to throw, executing the technical aspects of the delivery, and staying within the moment to achieve the shot. Moreover, your team also have to be on board with the shot. As soon as there is any self-doubt, worrying about the outcome, or thinking about the opponent in that moment of making the shot, you’ve missed the shot.
The last few weeks have been transformative and I am feeling like my 13-year old self alive an well. I have to admit, this journey of understanding myself (or finding myself) has been one with may up and downs. If anything, you have to have those tough conversations, connect with friends and family, forgive and have compassion for self and others. Huge vulnerability is required as well as a piece of humble pie. I am more about myself and therefore I am learning more about my teaching practice, which in turn contributes to my research program. The goal is to find the goods internal to the practice. I am learning and think I found it. And much like curling, stay consistent.