We just got back today from Mexico. We took a direct flight from Puerto Vallarta to Prince George via WestJet. It was a short trip with my daughter. We went to an all inclusive (adults only) hotel. It was a WestJet vacation. She paid for her share and I paid for mine (of course), but I also paid for any extras like an ocean side room, overnight stay at the Fairmont Hotel at the Vancouver Airport, and hotel transfers. The extras were my needs. The Fairmont was a beautiful hotel and we flew out of YVR early the next morning. We had a couple drinks in the lounge and Christmas dinner at my sister’s place. It was a great way to start our vacation. In Mexico, we had an oceanside room and the view was spectacular!! We started the vacation strong by going to Centro (or downtown Puerto Vallarta) via public transit. 10 pesos… that’s it!! My kid pushed me out of my comfort zone. We loved going to the Oyster Grill, visiting friends in Bucarias, and spending time at the resort. Going to Puerto Vallarta was the first trip that my daughter and I took together. It was a trip we both wanted to do.
Much like the Mexico trip, there were some amazing and wonderful moments in 2023 that I will definitely do again. There were also some things that I would do differently. Were there some down moments? Yes. For example, I totally wore the wrong shoes to Bucarias and for the remainder of the trip, I had huge blisters on my feet. They were super painful. I went to the Farmacia and bought many bandaids and spent time for the rest of the vacation maintaining these wounds. No more beaches for me. The sand gets everywhere. A poor decision on my part with natural consequences, but no regrets. I will do better next time. I’m still wearing the bandaids and my feet as I write this blog post. My blisters need time to heal. It feels better everyday and I could not let them hold me back from making the most of my vacation. I adapted. This is experiential learning. As my mom would say, I always like doing things the hard way. I don’t think that has changed. My twin brother researches and plans, and I depend on others and learn from experience. What I do know is, there is no perfect.
What’s important to me and why does it matter?
I’m back at this question which I believe 2024 will be the year. I’ve been pondering since the pandemic about what’s important to me and I’m brought to a memory I had when I was giving birth to my daughter 20-years ago. The nurse said, “you’re not pushing hard enough.” Oh… I was pissed, but she was not wrong. I needed someone like that to tell me the truth in a wholehearted way. I was even more annoyed when she said that the baby had to make it around the corner then reminded me that it was the third lesson in the prenatal series. I did not need that, but she made a point. I pushed. I pushed so hard that I blew a dozen blood vessels in my eyes, I had plenty of stitches, and I was unrecognizable to friends and family. Giving birth was the toughest thing I every had to do (and my dissertation is a close second). In essence, in 2024, I’ve just got to push harder, meaning, give it my all. I keep playing it safe, take partial risks, and shy away when the going gets tough. I have a goal and I need to get there.
In terms of short term goals, I need to redraft my dissertation to be an article. It was done once with my supervisor a few years ago. One rejection and I could not look back at that work. It reminds me of how fragile I was at that time and where I am today. I looked at that work before leaving for my trip to Mexico (which by the way, my friend would not let me bring this work on my trip) and realized that the feedback was fair and that much of my literature review was edited out in the 10000 word version. I thought it was me, when really, it was what we sent. There is a literature review, but now, my mindset has shifted as well as how I self-identity as a “math educator.” I need to revisit my work with new eyes and get this paper down to 5-6000 words. Maybe it’s two articles… who knows? What I am realizing is, my research program is PIVOTING towards identity and identity development. I see this now. And thinking about it makes me very excited. Hello 2024!! I am READY. Let’s do this!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, December 30th, 2023 | Comments Off on Looking Ahead to 2024
The year is coming to an end and Christmas is in a couple of days. My kid and are going on vacation in a couple of days which includes Christmas dinner with my family then going somewhere sunny and hot. I end the year quitting coffee and resting (like nobody’s business, even though I’ve got things to do). This year has been filled with many learning opportunities and let me tell you… there has been many lessons to learn from.
My divorce was final in January, “in situ” learning in February, experiential practicum in March, travelled to Italy in April, CSSE Congress in Toronto in May, camping in Salmon Valley in June, WFATE Conference in Victoria in July, car accident in August, new classes in September, my friend’s sudden diagnosis in October, stepping away from service work in November, and returning to this website in December. This list summarizes the year. Lots happened in between. There were up days and down days. If anything, I had to learn how to be resilient, persistent, and be true to myself.
Learning is not meant to be easy. It isn’t easy, but I am learning. I am learning that the only thing I can control is myself, everyone is doing their best (including me), and you cannot please everyone. These items make for MY OWN AXIOMS on how to move forward with life. My professor from my doctoral program had three axioms as well about school systems: the money is the money, be careful what you wish for, and do not underestimate the power of self-interest. These axioms served me well, but arriving to my own axioms is helpful as well. My axioms have a different approach on how to see the world, but they have served me and I am grateful to learn them.
Everyday is a learning day.
I do catch myself dwelling on some negative happenstances and I often wonder the risk of trying new things or raising the bar, but in the end, you don’t know unless you try. I’ve spent most of my life meeting other people’s expectations, trying to fit in to belong, and compromising my values with hopes of being acknowledged or accepted. What I have also learned this year is, the only person I belong to and feel accepted by is myself. I am getting into Brené Brown’s work and not betraying myself. This is BRAVING THE WILDERNESS. That’s what I’m doing and I’m not going to feel bad about my principles in beliefs. That said, I’m always open to feedback. Not as criticism or judgement, but feedback from folks who what to lift me up. I need to belong to me.
Just the other day, someone brought to my attention my age. I never took that into consideration when making decisions, but it is something to consider (in terms of accepting myself). As things come in three, then my kid started talking to me about what she has learned in the Nursing Program. She said, “you fall once, you’re dead.” That statement was intense, but she said, for women in their 60s who fall once, their health declines rapidly leading to death. Yikes. And she said, “you’re getting there mom.” Kind of true. I still have 7-years. Then, I went to the medical clinic to renew my prescription and listening to those checking in and observing folks around my age, I needed to pay closer attention to my health and age. I guess I’m not 30 anymore.
I do want to focus on the next 5, 10, and 15-years of my career. My focus has shifted. I just want to be happy and do good work. I want to learn new things, try new things in my class, and embark on my research and writing. I was too worried about what other people think. What really matters is what I think. What will bring me joy? What will spark my fire? I was so inspired by the keynote speaker Dr. Niigaan Sinclair. He spoke about young men and how they have to learn how to start a fire, build a fire, and sustain the fire. The metaphor resonated with me along with not being the only one making change. One step at a time. At end the year inspired by one IGNITE video that talked about leadership. That’s what this is… teacher leadership. I can do this.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, December 23rd, 2023 | Comments Off on Merry Christmas 2023
My teaching has ended for the fall term and I am resting a bit as well as transitioning to my own writing, writing a grant, and getting a chapter complete. Reuniting with this WordPress site is like coming home again. I was so happy to regain access to this account and I am slowly but surely figuring out the new direction for this blog and website. When I was losing access to this account, I opened an OpenETC WordPress site with my workplace. I am super grateful to have that opportunity to create and write a new website to model for students but also personalize the website to reflect my “digital narrative” in EDUC 405 (Reflective Practice) and EDUC 796 (Portfolio).
My work blog on OpenETC is a weekly blog. Now reuniting with my former WordPress site, I feel that this second platform is an opportunity to write what’s important to me. TEACHER LEADERSHIP. That was one of my aha’s from a few days ago (and wrote about it) but now I am compelled to contribute to this site when I’m inspired. Tah dah!! I’m inspired. I just participated in a survey for someone’s study in educational leadership; I had a conversation with a former high school student and teacher colleague this morning talking about leadership; and this afternoon, I met up with my working group for CATE about writing a book chapter about teacher leadership.
Yes, I believe things happen in three. Voila… serendipity. I am inspired. What is teacher leadership? What are the theoretical frameworks for teacher leadership? What would inspire someone to feel empowered as a teacher leader? Here is what I know, so far (based on experience). Teacher leadership is informal. There is no formal position, additional pay, or recognition that acknowledges teacher leadership within an organization. Teacher leadership is relational, servant-oriented, and emergent. I might be 100% biased and describe it this way, but it might also be situation, visionary, and transformative. Context matters, but in my mind, the ultimate goal is to support, enhance, or enable student learning experiences through innovation, collaboration, or partnerships. The teacher leader must be willing to take risks, be vulnerable, and listen to and learn from the people we are serving (the students).
Teacher leadership is a position that I have always held. In K-12 education, I was the school professional development representative, staff representative, and math department head. I was also a volleyball coach (I have no idea of the sport as a curler… LOL), grad class sponsor (not an event planner), and school first aid attendant (biology is not my strength). In higher education, I serve on senate and a couple of senate committees, supervised graduate students in EDUC 796, and contributed to the department to move forward with a redesigned program for the B.Ed. and M.Ed. programs. And in between, I was a co-moderator on #bcedchat on Twitter, school trustee, and contributor to BC’s Curriculum in K-9 math. I have always been a teacher leader and I never acknowledged it until now. In past, I have always strived for formal leadership roles but in the end, the position itself never resonated with me.
RELAX. A word that has come into my way of being. I feel like I have arrived. All year, I have been trying to “slow down”… volunteer less… and focus on my health. These are only a few things with some attempt to address the messiness of life (which includes work) and the best strategy right now is to relax. I don’t mean to relax and not do anything or slack, but to not take things too seriously. This liberation is freedom. I grateful and humbled how people perceive me as a leader and offered kind words and acknowledgement of my work and way of being. I am a teacher leader. The formality of a role, perceived power that’s attached to it, and any ego-boosting tactics are not what drives me. I love what I do as a teacher. I know that now. I am in the right place at the right time despite any perceived obstacles, barriers, or haters.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, December 18th, 2023 | Comments Off on Time to Reflect
Oh my gosh… when I saw this image on Instagram, I thought I was looking into a mirror. LOL. A circle (aka. Pusheen) with a bag of chips. Heaven. I don’t eat chips anymore (because I’m getting old and all of my organs are slowly failing) and I’m allergic to cats (but I love Pusheen). Look at the joy in their face!! I know that feeling. I can see myself in this image, or shall I say it’s an excellent self-portrait. Today marks the official end of the fall term (for me). It was full to say the least. I taught two undergraduate courses, two graduate courses, supervised final practicum for 8 teacher candidates, and supervised one graduate student in portfolio. This is the life of teaching faculty at the university. I’m not complaining, but rather accepting.
Surrender. You can’t control your surroundings.
I enjoy teaching. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but to be viable in higher education, there is also a research component, even though it’s not in my workload to do so. I do plenty of service and I’ve been learning since being in higher education how to “say no” and to do what I like to do for the university and profession. I also need to “say no” in my teaching, meaning, I don’t have to do everything. It’s been a year where I had to really think about my values and what’s important to me. I’ve had several pivotal moments in 2023 to point in some direction and with some urgency. It’s not something I can “force” myself to do, but it’s something that needs to stay in my consciousness and be mindful of. Furthermore, in doing so, I’ve had to engage in my own healing. This year has been full of change but I feel that I’m landing somewhere.
Being the end of term, at least for my teaching, I took today as a SLOW DAY to recalibrate into the “on the side of my desk” aspect of my work… research. I’ve been mulling about my research program and looking for that thread that attaches everything that I do and what I am interested in together. This reflection and consideration take time because I am interested and have been involved with many aspects of education that may appear unrelated. I’ve been advised several times during my time at the university to figure out my research program. At first I thought it was mathematics, then Indigenous education, and identity development. What I have realized is, my focus is TEACHER LEADERSHIP. It’s something that I will be writing more about soon for a chapter in a book, but I am realizing this is the common thread throughout my work. The leadership is not a formal position, but I am a leader.
“Lead from where you are.”
Leadership takes on many forms. As I reflect on the courses that I’ve just taught this term and I was deeply moved by one IGNITE video submitted by one student in one of my classes that deeply resonated with me in addition to thinking about what I do in my practice and what I hope for with professional development and even with this blog, TEACHER LEADERSHIP is the connecting thread. Not everyone is going to like what or even like me or what I have to offer, but “my why” (inspired by Simon Sinek) and my deep admiration for Parker Palmer’s work and self-knowledge, I am super excited about this discovery. Yes, I was doing the dishes when my thinking about the content of this blog. It went from reflection and pandemic reflections to the idea of leadership, then to Teacher Leadership, which has always been my mantra. I cannot describe to you how excited I am except for the idea that this blog post took only 30-minutes to write. I’m stoked. So look forward to future posts on teacher leadership.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, December 15th, 2023 | Comments Off on Teacher Leadership
Saturday, December 9, 2023 – A Moment of Self-Doubt
I have to admit, when I got the notification via email to let me know that I agreed to a auto-renewal for this website for 3-years my heart sank a little. By the time I got to my apartment and talked myself through the situation (briefly), I felt ok. I remember how this website started and where I had come from over the last 13-years and it has been a journey to say the least. I would not take the midlife unravelling too lightly and I found myself today in a deep reflection about life and where I wanted to be. Not the best timing when I have a pile of marking to do, yet the best timing because I need to feel good about what I am doing and why. And yes, I’m blogging too.
I found myself today downloading Brené Brown’s audiobook, Braving the Wilderness, a book I’ve read a few years ago with hopes of feeling some solace or validation. Already from Chapter 1, I feel aligned to hear words. I was also listening to the audiobook with hopes of getting inspired to return back to my marking. So far, I’ve worked on the feedback from my research team and revised our webpage accordingly. I wrote some notes/minutes from a meeting relating to this research project, and I have responded to a few emails. I’m warming up to the quietness of assessment and evaluation. I enjoyed reading the first batch of work and now I am mustering up the will to commit to my feedback and final grades. This decision-making is not earth shattering, but it means a lot to me and needs to feel aligned.
Where I am today is not where I thought I would be 13-years ago, but I have never felt more like myself. As Brené would say, I belong to myself. This feeling is incredible. I am learning to accept and value myself of which I did not do very well (or if at all) in previous decades. It seems fitting to embark on this journey in my last chapter of my life. I still live with my kid, whom I love to bits. But I am also finding that I am learning how to keep my boundaries and remain true to myself. I’m still working on how that manifests, but I am more aware. Earlier today, I was talking to a friend of mine. I love that we can take a moment for critical reflection. I can’t do that with many people so I feel grateful that I can do that with her. In that conversation, I learned about how one incident that impacted negatively still lives in the heart of minds of others, but not in a good way. My heart sank, thinking that this person did not seek forgiveness, but more interested in seeking revenge or shame-inducing acts (to put me in my place).
I wonder about leadership and the role of power and one’s positionality. Sometimes I feel that I am beginning to understand that power is not something that I desire or want. At first, I believed that power was a part of leadership and it might be for some. For me, I am leaning towards compassion, understanding, and listening as attributes or competencies I would like to possess as a leader. I would follow up with a set of virtues like patience, humility, and wholeheartedness as part of my leadership style. Humanity, human connection, and community are important to me as well as Kirkness & Barnhardt’s (2001) Four R’s of respect, relevance, responsibility, and reciprocity. I’ve been using the concept of reciprocity as a litmus or gauge recently to help me decide what is worthwhile or not. Meaning, as much as I give to something, it gives the same amount back to me, and vice versa. I am learning when something is taking away from me (to become less than), is something that needs addressing or removing. I’ve been there before, hence power in leadership has no place for me.
As I take a deep-breath and have a moment of gratitude, I am so appreciative of renewing this website and gaining a renewed access to this blog. I spent many hours (for entertainment purposes during the pandemic) with a weekly blog post that eventually (or attempted) to explore what was important to me. You have no idea the flood of good feelings and happiness I had accessing my website again. This is a place of solace and I am very excited to take some time during the winter break to update it and refine it as a place for me to reflect and wonder about teaching, learning, and leading in education and in life. I am always humbled in the direction of which writing and blogging takes me. It’s always unexpected and that’s the joy of this writing and reflection. It’s something that I try to bring to my classes that teach portfolio in graduate and undergraduate courses at the university. I feel pumped and recharged to get to my work now and do what brings me joy and happiness. I belong to me.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, December 09th, 2023 | Comments Off on Renewing this Website
TRUST. I wrestle with this word, concept, or feeling. It’s something that I have never thought about. I was more consumed as a child about “being equal” with my older siblings. As a young adult, I was consumed by doing what I thought others wanted me to be, particularly my parents. As an adult, I spent my time trying to achieve the stereotypical goals like get a career, get married, have a baby, buy a house, etc. At 40-years old, I took a side step and life was disrupted. Call it the midlife unravelling, but it unraveled for a decade. Now in my 50’s, I’m single, my kid is an adult, and I have just completed 5-years of teaching Teacher Ed at the university (plus one term).
Admittedly, it has been turbulent to arrive to this very moment. I left my life as I knew it in the Lower Mainland and created a new one in the Central Interior of BC. The move alone was a huge learning curve, which in turn has taught me the value of place and how I understand the world. Living here in Prince George has been humbling… and healing. I needed to be here. I know that now. Much of my time has been resisting, questioning, and pretending. I am done with that now. I am embarking on a new journey. This year, I was asked to write a short excerpt for Asian Heritage Month: https://www2.unbc.ca/newsroom/unbc-stories/learning-embrace-identity
This term has reminded me so much of how I felt when I left my teaching practice in K-12 in 2010. I had good flow, good relationships, and I loved what I did. It almost seemed too good to be true. In some ways it was because I left the practice for other reasons. It was not the students or my love for teaching and learning. Now that the “dust has settled” at the university and heading into the Fall 2023 term, my approach to my courses were with an open heart and mind. I continued exploring my pedagogy that resonated with my values and beliefs. I feel exactly like I did when I left K-12 teaching. I love all of my courses, I love all of my students, and I love myself.
The photos above are of my students from EDUC 491. I was their course instructor and practice evaluator (aka. faculty advisor). The process as to how we arrived to this class composition was atypical and unnecessarily stressful. When I was able to allow, surrender, and accept, we entered the final practicum doing what was best for us. I felt the same for my 2 undergraduate courses, 2 graduate courses, and one graduate student supervision. I also felt good starting the term connecting with my final undergraduate course of a cohort I taught last year for two consecutive terms. Big picture, as you can see, we ended the term strong and completed practicum.
I feel so lucky to have a these people in my practicum group and I appreciate all of my students. I learn so much about them, my subject area, and about myself. I would also say developing an expertise with deliberate practice is also part of this magic formula of success. Yesterday was my last day of classes and I am very appreciative of the new cohorts, but also grateful for this crew, last year’s elementary cohort, and members of the science/math crew. As bumpy as it may have been en route, I am learning more about overcoming self-doubt and to believe in myself. Feels great!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, December 05th, 2023 | Comments Off on Feeling Gratitude
Sunday, December 3, 2023 – Taking Risks and Feeling Great!!
Oh my goodness… I cannot believe that I have managed to regain access to my WordPress site. Whew. My heart is pounding rapidly. I am thrilled and filled with excitement. Who knew it would have this affect on me. What serendipity!!! Woohoo!!
First of all… I was contributing to my work WordPress site with OpenETC at https://hoyounghusband.opened.ca/. I created this site to continue with my weekly #pandemicreflections but also model what e-portfolios could look like with students.
I am just shaking with excitement and joy. I have not posted this blog post yet, so I’m not even sure this will work. Nonetheless, this feeling of sheer AHHHHH is absolutely amazing!! Now this is appreciating the little things… 10-fold. AMAZING!!
Ahhh… solace… peace… inner joy. I gave up. I held on not knowing if I would ever access my account again and here I am. Never lose hope. I understand that now. I feel this way about leadership, teaching, and learning. There is always a path…
Well folks… I guess expect some updates to this website. I was absent from it since March 2023. I was blogging using my iPad and bluetooth keyboard. I could not update the app on my iPad. My access eroded over time. I can’t wait to update this site.
So look forward to more info and updates as we approach the new year. Right now, I’m approaching my last day of teaching on Monday, and I have reports to write, portfolios to assess, and papers to read to submit final marks for my courses.
((deep breath)) Dang. I feel great. You have no idea. It’s like reuniting with an old friend. The blog posts, however, will no longer be about my #pandemicreflections which concluded on my OpenETC site. I look forward to thinking about new content.
A New Month, New Start was the title of my most recent blog post on my OpenETC site. I feel that way and I am excited. Soon after posting this blog post, I will be writing 8 practicum reports and look forward to the last day of classes. Yay me!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, December 03rd, 2023 | Comments Off on Regaining Access to My Website
Losing access to my website and with each update and now a change in apps… I am slowly but surely losing touch with my blog. I think who’s is this will be my last blog post on this WordPress site. It’s the end. No photo. Nothing profound except for goodbye. So much has happened over 155 weeks of the pandemic and beyond. This is not the end of blogging or reflection for me, but this is the end of my use of this platform. I cannot hold on anymore and it’s ok to let go. The hardest part about letting go is knowing when. There were clues. Many of them but I can’t do this adaption anymore. It’s time for a new platform. You can find me at https://hoyounghusband.opened.ca. I can’t even insert a link. It’s disabling. I tried but it’s time. I’m throwing in the towel. Overtime, this site will be digital debris. It’s been an online diary of my pedagogical journey and it continues. This chapter is coming to and end and I look forward to new beginnings. If you find me here at this site, you can find me elsewhere. It’s all good. Wishing you all the best. Onwards and upwards.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 04th, 2023 | Comments Off on My Last Post
Week 154 – February 25, 2023 – You just never know
Once again, life lessons acquired from curling. I am so grateful for this game and the people who I play the game with. I’ve been so lucky and fortunate to have awesome teams to play with, here in Prince George, and other teams in past. I learn so much and human connection with my teammates as we play together is AWESOME. 🙂
I love our scoreboard. It describes my curling team so well. We are in the playoffs and this is the scoreboard of our first game. After league play, we placed 5th place out of 15 teams. I can’t believe that. I feel that we are just getting started this season. We have one bye in our league and we play on Fridays which means bonspiels too.
Anyway, this is our second year playing together and we are a random team. I call it serendipity. We just seem to gel. I play third. The skip and second are a couple. And, the lead is returning to the game after her husband passed away. We were all looking for a team and we became that team last year. It did not take long, but we have fun.
I think we placed third last year (I can’t remember), but the league was played different last year because we were still tapering from COVID-9 protocols, we had an A-event and B-event, and there were no bonspiels. This year, we played a round robin with all of the teams and now we are in the playoffs. After 2 ends, we’re down by 5.
You’d think we would give up. The skip and I missed our shots these two end, but as a team we just continued to play one shot at a time. Every time we start with the lead’s rocks it always felt like a restart. We took one point in the third end and stole one point four times. The game should have ended in the 7th but someone had to win.
We played the 8th end and during that end we were so happy to have tied the game. One shot at a time, we had the game set up with two of our rocks counting behind many guards. We were sitting very good with our last rock played (even though our skip hogged the rock, which was suppose to be a long guard). In the end, we stole 2.
Wow. We won the game. We stole 5 ends in a row. Unheard of and we did it. One shot at a time and the outcome worked in our favour. They were a super nice team to play with, but it was almost like we looked up and realized we won the game. I like this about our team. We never get too excited or too down on ourselves or the game.
We celebrated after the game with a round of drinks (even though our team hogged 4 rocks… aka. 4 rounds of drinks). We even had the chance to watch a bit of curling on TV. We just seem to have a hidden quality of just getting along and trying our best. In the end, persistence pays off. One rock at a time. For me, it’s one paper at a time.
I love this metaphor of our team, but also of life and work. None of us played a perfect game, but all of us were trying to do our best each shot. We encouraged each other throughout the game and we never get down on each other. I believe this to be true, if you had 4 incredible players who don’t get along, then that team will lose.
I also believe that when you are focused on the win, you will also lose. Mistakes will happen. Your job is to learn from them and do better next time. That’s all you have control of. Don’t dwell on the mistakes and don’t blame others. Own what you can control, find your people, and focus on one step at a time. In the end, you will win.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, February 25th, 2023 | Comments Off on Persistence Pays Off
Week 153 – February 18, 2023 – Blogging Getting Difficult
Oh my… PATIENCE seeps in to my psyche again. My access to my own blog is getting more limiting (maybe with every update). Nonetheless, here I am. One step at a time. I’m getting things done (even though I have a billion things to do). Today is “be a person day” and I met up with a grad student, went to the university (briefly), and washed my kid’s laundry (i.e., 4 loads). I got recycling done, I did a bit of food shopping, and I continue to play the food game (to maximize my food dollars).
If I take a step back, I am getting some writing done, I am getting some reading done, and I am becoming more open to the idea of changes in my life and my workload so that I can work towards a tenure track appointment. Sometimes I feel like I’m back in my 30’s as if I am starting all over again. In many ways, I am starting again but I do feel like I’m 30. Huh. Am I back to who I am before marriage? Is that weird? Anyway, that’s how I am feeling lately and I am loving every moment… the ups and downs.
Nothing worthwhile is not meant to be easy. I have no regrets. Everything I have experienced brought me to where I am today. I was not in the same place where I was when I was 30, but I feel like I have a new opportunity. Another lesson I am learning is, I can only control what I can control. I can control how I feel. I can control the decisions I make. I can also control who is in my life and who is not. I mentioned in my last blog post that I am committed to being folks who help me rise, vice versa.
Just yesterday, someone backed into my car when it was parked. My kid was driving it to and from work that night. I had no control over the incident, but I do have control on how I respond to the incident and next steps. I also go my feedback from my annual performance review. I’ve only read it once… quickly. And, I need to respond to it, but overall, it looks very positive and I’m learning that when I am focused on what I need to do (i.e., be selfish), people can see what you are doing.
It almost seems counterintuitive, much like education. Focus on the “goods internal” that is, what makes you happy, what brings you joy, and what motivates you deeply, then people will reward you with the “good external.” This philosophy written by Alasdair McIntyre I learned (and continue to learn) during my Master of Education program. Curling helped me to understand this concept and now I have returned to it with my work. I will continue to read and write about ideas that bring me joy.
Slowly but surely I’m getting it together. It feels good. TRUST is a big idea I need to embrace. I recite that word often in my head when I throw a rock during a game of curling (and I can only control how I throw the rock) and the outcome will be what it will be. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes there is a Plan B (or C or D). And, all of the time, there is something to learn. No judgement on the outcome. What matters is what I do next time with what I have learned with the goal of winning the game.
Again, the goal is not focusing on winning the game, but it’s more about paying attention to all of the little things like sitting in the hack, my slide out of the hack, or release the rock that matters. I am learning this with respect to my work (and hopefully soon with my life). Once again, I can sense-make with curling in mind. LOVE THAT. Curling has never failed me… LOL. Honestly, I’ve learned a lot from the sport regarding systems, leadership, and strategy. I am truly getting it together.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, February 18th, 2023 | Comments Off on Getting It Together
December 23, 2023 – Reflecting on the Year
I have to admit, when I got the notification via email to let me know that I agreed to a auto-renewal for this website for 3-years my heart sank a little. By the time I got to my apartment and talked myself through the situation (briefly), I felt ok. I remember how this website started and where I had come from over the last 13-years and it has been a journey to say the least. I would not take the midlife unravelling too lightly and I found myself today in a deep reflection about life and where I wanted to be. Not the best timing when I have a pile of marking to do, yet the best timing because I need to feel good about what I am doing and why. And yes, I’m blogging too.
