Feeling Ready to Jump
Hello September 2024… and I feel that it’s time. I’m ready to jump and take a leap of faith with a flurry of “things to do” and achieve in my work and personal life. Now that my non-teaching team has reached an end, I feel that I found a beautiful balance between resting, writing, and conferencing. I really enjoyed travelling to new places, meeting new people (and reuniting with others), and sharing some of my work to receive some formative feedback. I was pleasantly surprised what people found interesting and I am so grateful that folks are willing to share their interest and enthusiasm with some of the work that I am engaged in. Moreover, I was able to connect with others during the summer to partake in other research projects that are super interesting. What I appreciate though is making the connection. It feels great.
Gosh… it has taken some time (i.e., time to change from tenure-track to tenure) to feel ready to take a chance and explore the possibilities of finding a tenure-track position. Although that seeking such a position is the target, but really, what I am learning is, I am limited in the kind of what I can do as a term faculty member. Don’t get me wrong, I can do a lot of things as term faculty. And, I love teaching and trying out new ideas, so I’m not sad about teaching and continually trying to hone my craft and learn new things. It makes my job fun and I love connecting with students. But during the summer, I realized that I am not able to do some things because of my term position that caught my attention and brought me to wonder about “what do I really want to do?” The answer to this question, at least for me, was not obvious.
Learning experientially has always been the best way for me to learn. I’ve spent the last 6-years learning about higher education, program dynamics, and what was important to me. Concurrently, I was also learning more about myself and my life has changed, shifted, and transformed in ways that was not predicable or desirable. Finally, I feel like I’m on my feet and seeing things with a clear perspective and realistic expectations. Now that I feel more like myself with nothing to prove, but only enjoy the work that I do, I’d love to have a position that offer the flexibility, openness, and purposefulness that I am hoping for. I am so prepared to embark on a few big projects but spent a lot of time deliberating if I could do it. Now, I understand that I can start my work and get things started. The goal is to see where this work take me.
I have never felt so excited. After I take this moment on my blog reflecting on this feeling and understanding, the journey begins. In many ways, it has started, but this next step is about me and the directions I want to take. Of course, if I remain in the same position, I will continue working on these projects that are currently in my imagination as well as finish up on the work that I am currently engaged. What I do know is, the possibilities are endless and I love the idea of having a VISION. Having a vision resonated with me after listening to Dr. Dwayne Donald’s keynote address at the UNBC Teaching and Learning Conference. For me, my vision is that MATH MOMENT… the aha… the joy that comes from discovery and the growth and development of one’s sense of self-efficacy… fuels me. I just can’t wait!! Let’s go…