Celebrating a Friend

June 8, 2025 – A Celebration of Life

Of all the photos to share of my friend, I chose the image of doughnuts that were offered post the Celebration of Life. They also served my friend’s favourite tea. I had the pink doughnut and sencha tea. I loved that these were two of her favourite things (doughnuts from a place a cannot remember… and loose leaf tea)… and that there were choices. #ClassicTeacher. Offering choice and agency to everyone at the celebration. What a wonderful way to remember and honour my friend. I loved it!!

I took many photos at the event. I shared some of the edu-selfies with folks who knew my friend from the teacher education world. I posted those photos on my some of my social media feeds. And, I took photos of the various speakers at the Celebration of Life. I thought it was a wonderful compilation of folks who spoke very highly of my friend. People from her church, workplace, UBC, Pacific Academy, friends, and her family all spoke about my friend in different ways with similar threads and themes.

Some stories shared provided moments of laughter, while other moments felt reflective and affirming. She was a strong and determined person. She was passionate, competitive, and driven. She was a helper. She loved her kids. She fell in love with her life partner at work. She was a committed and devoted educator, counsellor, coach, researcher, and teacher educator. She was a whole bunch of things, many of which I can confirm is all true. She went above and beyond… always.

Maybe not spoken, but I am realizing that I was also afforded the opportunity to get to know the more vulnerable side of her… as a friend and colleague. We spoke lots about what it meant to be a second-generation Canadian-Asian woman in BC Schools and in higher education. We talked a lot about our pedagogical journeys, our families, and our struggles. She always needed a little boost from time to time, but I am realizing she played that role for many others as a mentor, teacher, and friend.

I’m not sure why I feel somewhat reluctant to share the image of my friend on this blog post, and that my first choices were the food that was served outside of the church post-celebration. But what I do know for sure, she was a good friend, an advocate for humanity and equity, and a very smart person. Everyone at the event said that about her. I feel the same way. In some ways, I hope that she knew that as well. It was something that she always strived for, and she was always succeeding.

I guess I will share one story of my friend. I first met her in 2019 at the CAfLN conference in Vancouver, BC. At the time, Twitter was HOT with the educators and she knew me from the social media platform. At the time, I was not in a good place… emotionally and spiritually. I was in a state of transition and admittedly, it was rough. She bounces in and says, “HELLO,” introduces herself, and tried to lift my spirits up with her warmth, kindness, and enthusiasm. Since that day, it never stopped.

Perhaps it stopped in the physical world, but my friend is always in my heart. I feel sad just writing about this and how I am not able to say hello to call her up or take a selfie or to meet somewhere for coffee to chat. I will miss my friend greatly and deeply. I am sure that many others feel the same way as I do. This is not the way she thought it would end, and she struggled and fought for every minute, hour, and day to be with her kids. The journey of saying goodbye could not have been easy.

Every time we texted, sent a voice message, or have a Zoom conversation… I thought it would be the last time I would see her or hear from her. Selfish, I know… but she always seemed to hang in there, made the effort to connect, and she was always thinking of others. That was in her nature. I am grateful for our time together. I am also grateful that she is now at peace and pain free. The fought a good fight and she was determined to win. However, she had the grace and strength to let go.

My friend taught me many lessons since her diagnosis on September 29, 2023. I remember her telling me on the phone at 4:30am. I didn’t know what to say, but to listen. I could her her frustration, anger, and disbelief. I can understand her feelings. She was just on the path that she worked so hard for and deserved. My learning from her last year and a half was, just live your life. Be happy. Nothing in life can be that serious or taken that seriously. Love what you do, rest, and savour every moment.