Writing About Her

I love how my kid took a selfie with my mom after we had lunch at KFC in Metrotown. This depicts a few of the things my mom loved. She loved KFC. She loved walking around Metrotown. And, she loved her grandchildren. I cannot believe that in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic at the start of Week 8, I have committed to writing about my mom. I’m only blogging about this right now because I need a break from sobbing as I write about my mom and her last 20-days. It’s not easy. The little things are making me cry, uncontrollably. It was like that 2-years ago when my mom passed away and I wanted to write about my experience with her and what I learned about her from those 20-days and beyond. I am crying right now just thinking about it. I stopped writing 2-years ago because I was sobbing so much that I thought I needed to give myself some time and distance myself from her passing. Nope. I was wrong. Still hurts like hell. I might as well continue walking through the pain and remember all of the good things about her and my time with her. I am reminded that I should live in the present and embrace the now. My mom knew me the best. She has always been my advocate. And truth, I did not realize it until after she passed away. She held all of us together… me, my brother and sister, and my dad. I feel so vulnerable right now during the pandemic. The stress and anxiety are taxing to say the least and I need to do this work so that I can move forward with clarity, purpose, and intention. My mom is part of that equation. She continues to teach me as I continue to unpack these lessons I needed to learn. I am still learning. My mom would have never let me post a picture of her on social media, never mind on my blog and I am writing about her. She kept her life relatively low key (at least to me) and I feel that her life needs to be celebrated and honoured. She would have hated it… and yet I believe a small part of her would have appreciated it. I miss her so much. The selfish part of me wishes that she was here to console me and lift my spirits, as she normally would during the tough times. I am also glad she is not here because the stress of catching the virus and the news would have overwhelmed her. She would have been worried for all of us. It would have been too much. I am committed to writing something everyday about my mom. I know that this will not be easy. It will be emotional, but I feel that I am ready.

#missingher #pandemicwriting #staysafe #stayhome

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

css.php