What People Know

Week 106 – Part 2 – March 30, 2022 – Everyone has a story

This blog post is overdue. I had full intentions of writing more frequently but my blog is not the platform to increase my writing practice. I will follow through with Part 2 of this weekly blog post then return back to a weekly reflection. I should always honour myself. I had tried a daily blog and blogging based on inspiration. As funny as I thought contributing to a weekly blog until the pandemic ended, the pandemic is not ending and a weekly blog is a reasonable commitment to my reflective practice.

Admittedly though, today’s blog post is based on an inspiration. It was something I noticed. Actually, I hesitated about contributing to my blog on the weekend because I had nothing to say. I also need time to reflect to think about what’s important and why. This inspiration comes from my trip to the Superstore to renew my prescription from the drop in medical clinic. The doctor pointed at a pin on my jacket that my skip from my curling team gave to me during the Women’s World Curling Championship.

The doctor points at the pin and says “curling.” I affirmed his comment and then he followed up his comment with a joke about “everyone going to the Patch.” I was so impressed. I did not expect him to know anything about curling and the event happening in Prince George. It was a pleasant experience to say the least, then after getting my prescription, I decided to go by some chia seeds. I’m learning how to make overnight oats (don’t ask). I could not find them and asked a person who was stocking shelves if they knew where it would be. He had not idea and never heard of them before. He thought it was a spice then directed me to go look at the bulk section.

Anyway, that shopping experience took a 180 and I did not walk out with chia seeds. What struck me was my expectations of others and what people know or don’t know. I did not expect the medical doctor to know about curling and I expected the person who was stocking shelves to know where the chia seeds were located. What I walked away thinking was, we just don’t know what people know. My expectations either dispelled in both ways and then I started to reflect on myself and what this means.

I have expectation of myself and perceptions of what others think of me. I think this is why I let what I think people think bother me so much. It shouldn’t, but it does. Now I am wondering that it is all just my expectations of self and it works both ways. For example, I get so disappointed in myself because I believe I’m not meeting expectations at work and feel like I have to explain myself all of the time (and I don’t have to). And, when I am doing something awesome, I am unable to accept or receive any complements or positive feedback because I don’t believe that it is true. Huh.

This realization just happened over the last couple of days and damn, I’m being hard on myself. Another lesson is, we don’t know people’s story. I’ve been separated for almost 2.5 years and honestly, I have not told too many people except those who are close to me. And now, I am telling by blog followers. Anyway, it’s not here or there but I did mention it to a friend just the other day. I almost cried, but I also realized they had no idea. It was one of the toughest things I had to go through and life goes on.

How can we ever really know someone’s story and what they know or not know? We have impressions of people and much depends on what you are willing to share too. I think about the classroom and all of the stories students carry and we will never really know their story. We can infer and make assumptions (or ask), but really how can you know? I look at myself and I’m not even sure if I know my story. I’m still learning about it and learning more about myself, how I am willing to be vulnerable (not likely), and how I can mask or hide who I really am by being someone else.