Wake Up Call

Week 74 – August 16, 2021 – Kaplowee

Last Wednesday, I was in a car accident. I hit a buck. I would have to say it was “the perfect accident.” I’m ok (aka. I’m not dead or injured). The buck is ok (aka. he got up and ran away). I had no passengers or witnesses. It was dark and I was on my way home. The car did not explode when I drove it home soon after the incident. All I could do at that moment was gasp and tried to assess what happened. The incident was quick and my car looks like hell. I made the insurance claim that night online. This photo is the morning after. I took photos of her for my insurance claim. My poor little car. I invested thousands in her before moving up to Prince George. My daughter and I were just unpacked and settling in. Although the accident created another distraction from life and work, I thought it was also a wake up call.

The message is, SLOW DOWN. Notice. I think I have a lot on the go personally and professionally that I can lose sight of what’s important. My kid is important. You have no idea how grateful I am to have her with me in Prince George. My mind, body, and soul can rest when she is near me. She transitioned well to moving. She was born and raised in Sechelt, so moving to a different town was a big deal for her. I am thankful to her friends who helped her with this transition. One drove up with her, another came by to visit, and some are local. She connects with her friends online regularly. She seems happy here. My kid takes care of me as much as I take care of her.

My health is very important to me. I’ve been neglecting this for years and there comes a time when you have to put your ego and shame aside and address your health concerns. Being on the Sunshine Coast for the past year was a blessing during COVID-19. I was able to check with my health professionals and be prioritized for treatment. It started with my teeth, to my blood pressure, and then my throat. I had a lump on the roof of my mouth, holes in my teeth, and apparently my blood pressure was way too high. I had my wisdom teeth removed, got a mouth guard, and looked into the sleep apnea. I cannot do the CPAP. I thought my eyes were getting worse, but it was from being online too much (aka. remote learning). What I was worried about, the health professionals were concerned with other things. In the end, I am on the right track and ready to take next steps with my health. I started walking again with the #Daily5kChallenge and getting back on WW. I need to focus on my blood pressure.

Finally, my sense of self-efficacy is important to me. I need to believe in myself that I am able to do things. I have mentors, friends, and family members who believe in me. They support and encourage me. I have accomplished many things, but what I am learning is… I am still learning. That’s it. Kindness and compassion are key to my success. Fear does not hold me back, but it’s how I protect myself. This is a Brene Brown lesson. I am Enneagram 8 and I protect myself from being hurt. Most times things turn out OK, like driving a U-Haul truck, being in politics, or completing a doctorate degree. It’s taken me some time to understanding this. I am passionate about student learning, identity development, and subject matter acquisition situated in the context of mathematics education, teacher education, and system change.

I am also learning that I am always researching and I just have to write about it. TRUST is a big thing for me. I just read a tweet from Simon Sinek that said “Leaders take the risk to trust first.” That resonates and makes a lot of sense to me. I am brought back to the ideas of vulnerability and being hurt. I can’t prevent myself from being hurt and be seen at the same time. Not everyone is there to protect or support me. The only person I need to belong to is myself and TRUST that everything will be OK. We are back to my car as the metaphor. She had a few scratches, needed a few repairs, and was lined up to get new tires in the new year. All of a sudden, plans changed. HAPPENSTANCE and chaos theory, as I’ve heard from a few Teacher Candidate presentations, and my car has taken a new trajectory. I was not hurt or injured. I can do this and will do this. The accident was a signal to stop… and restart.