Once in a Blue Moon
Week 75 – August 22, 2021 – Pivoting at its finest
I decided to post a picture of my new car. It a replacement from the one I had posted last week that experienced a slight mishap with a buck. Both the buck and I are fine, but my Honda CRV took the brunt of it. I found out one week after my accident that my car was a write off (while I was chairing a meeting), my car rental was ending, and I realized that I had to buy a car. I was just griping to my kid the night before my accident that I did not want to be spending anymore money. Moving and all that was happening in my personal life, I had no appetite to spend anymore money. Well, the universe go me. After my meeting, I picked up my plates from the collision car repair place, had another two meetings, and spent the rest of the day with my kid.
We looked at cars and went out for dinner. I had a really delicious meal. Butter Chicken. I went for my night walk, was chatting with a friend, and then the pain struck me. I thought it was heartburn, but I was vomiting and the pain got increasingly worse. After an hour of moaning and being brought to my knees, I went to Google to see what was happening to me and the information I received was not good. I texted the link to my kid and asked her to drive me to emergency. What a nightmare. I was in so much pain, yet I helped my kid drive me to emergency. She was spooked, looked for parking, but did not want to come in to the hospital. Understandable. It was in the middle of the night, we are in a new city, and your mom is not doing very well.
After checking into emergency (and had great difficulties taking out my care card out of my wallet), the hospital goes into lockdown. That was fun. I was in incredible pain, trying to text my kid to lay low in the car, and waited out a lockdown for my own safety. Admittedly, all that I was doing was moaning and praying for the pain to stop. After the lockdown, I had to advocate for myself and beg them to help me with the pain. I was moved to one bed and got an EKG to check my heart then I was moved into emergency and treated by the doctor. An assessment, blood test, and mini-ultrasound brought me to a diagnosis of gallstones and a gallbladder attack.
If the car accident was not a sign to slow down, then this painful attack was a second wake-up call. I had these painful attacks before, but thought it was heartburn. It was something more. The universe often whispers to help guide and inform, but when you are not listening, sometimes it hits you with a full swoop to the head. What was it going to take to wake me up? Something had to change. Strangely, during my time in the hospital, I really enjoyed watching and listening to the coaching or mentoring in this teaching hospital, the professionalism of the staff, and the level of care I received during this moment in my life. I felt that way about my car crash and all those who helped me with that situation from ICBC, the collision place, to the car rental place.
Thinking in threes, I felt the same way about driving the moving truck. Gawd. I didn’t want to drive it, but did. I moved my stuff and my kid’s stuff from the Sunshine Coast to Prince George. My brother helped me to drive the damn thing back to Prince George… and I am so grateful. I had so much fun and had a moment to rest. My friend helped me to find movers to lift all of my stuff up three flights of stairs into my apartment, and my brother helped me to bring a zillion boxes to my office at the university. ((deep breath)) It was a lot and I am grateful. My kid and I are settled in.
The day after my emergency episode and my daughter picked me up at 430am to take me home from the hospital, life continued with a meeting at 9am, a meeting at noon, and a meeting at 2pm. Life goes on. I went to the car dealership at 330pm and bought a car by 6pm. I took the car home the next day. I had moments of regret. This was a huge purchase. I never done something like this for myself before. This was the first time buying a car without my mom, it had all the bells and whistles, and I made the purchase before learning what I would get back from ICBC. It seemed almost too good to be true, like I have good credit (which I do… great news!). It has taken me a few days to fall in love with my car, Musubi, and know that I am worthy of this car and I am safe in this car. I feel very lucky that I am able to make this purchase for me.
But, it’s not the car that matters or how it drives. What I have learned is the following: (1) I can do this on my own; (2) I can ask for help; and (3) I am strong, resilient, and optimistic. I am so happy to be alive. In each of these scenarios, I could have died. Ok. A bit dramatic, but it’s true. I could have given up. I am not 100% well yet, but I am learning how to create boundaries, make choices, and value myself. These are big life lessons and I am happy that I have the opportunity to learn them and hone these skills. It will take one step at a time, and tonight on August 22, 2021 is an excellent time to make a change. It’s a blue moon. A time for grace, kindness, and patience.