Happy Halloween… Yes, I’m an UNBC Timberwolves FAN!!! Thank you for noticing. That said, I am listening to the fireworks in my neighbourhood of College Heights in Prince George where I am “laying low” on this Halloween night. It the first night in 15 years that I’m not at home in Sechelt on the Sunshine Coast with my daughter where she would like to dress up, hang out with friends, and give out candy. I’m here… miles away living in an apartment building. NO ONE is coming by my place to “trick or treat” and that’s OK.
It does not take much to make my day. I did have candy to give out to my class today. The student presenters brought candy too. We had gummies, licorice, and chocolate. A winning combination… especially when my students just finished a midterm exam in a previous class and I’m recovering from my fall from yesterday. Why not soothe the soul with a bit of candy? To top it off, today’s reading summary was about FORMATIVE ASSESSMENT and Assessment for Learning… one of my favourite topics to discuss and do in education but also one of the key underpinnings of BC’s New Curriculum.
Lots of thoughts go through my mind as my students present a summary of the article and facilitate a learning activity based on that article. The article focused much about policies and systems, and how the framework of formative assessment should be found throughout the system to support and enhance student learning. It was a big article, meaning that it wasn’t focussed on the details of how to implement specific formative assessment strategies, but it revealed many of the big ideas of formative assessment and its value to student learning and quality of teaching. At the end of the presentation… “I tried” to clarify some ideas about assessment and what to expect in some of my course assignments, but I think I made it worse. I did not seize the formative opportunities.
One of the underpinnings of my course is EXPERIENTIAL LEARNING. I was so compelled to “tell the answer” and I did. I think what I said only made sense to those who had already completed the assignment. I did not honour experiential learning cycle and allowing students to struggle. Well, I did with those who had already completed the assignment but there are still those who still need to complete the assignment. Nonetheless, all was said and done and we had only 10 minutes to get into our collaborative learning groups to design an interdisciplinary unit plan and lesson plan.
After a couple of meetings and carbo-loading with a Tim Horton’s bagel (and some yummy cake), I returned to my office to pack up. I sat there for some moments to “catch my breath” and appreciate my surroundings. I needed to regroup. What was great was… one of my students popped his head in my door and cheered. I think that he was glad I was still here. It was getting late. There were two students… and yes, they were asking for some help. FORMATIVE ASSESSMENT and FORMATIVE FEEDBACK. I could not have asked for anything more. With some discussion, I hopped out of my seat to talk about the learning intentions and the assignment. YEEEESSSS!!! Formative in REAL-TIME. Students engaged in the struggle… and the AH-HA… for ME and my students. Love the formative.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, October 31st, 2018 | Comments Off on Love the Formative
We are jumping into EDUC454 with our first student-led warm-up activity. Two students brought nature to us. I much enjoyed this activity. They had prepared about 8 bags filled with natural materials. The class sub-divided themselves into groups of 2-3 and grabbed a bag. The goal was to make patterns with the materials inside the bag. Each bag had different materials. We repeated the activity 3 times and with each round, the class adapted to what was expected, took less time, and got more creative. I loved that the room smelled like the outdoors. I also appreciated our student facilitators for preparing a lesson plan to share, facilitating the activity so nimbly, and being early adopters. It’s not easy going first and they did GREAT. They set the stage for the rest of the class. Furthermore, we modelled formative feedback on the fly. We were working on creating “I can…” statements based on our learning experience from the student-led warm-up activity and self-assessing ourselves with a one-point scale rubric. We made our first steps.
The class continued with a teacher-led activity where we used iPhones to take photos of the environment around us. The learning objective was take picture of MATH. Where do you see math in your environment? Students did an excellent job taking photos of architecture, lottery and locker combinations, and people roaming around Surrey Central. What interested me was only one group of 7 went outside of the building to take photos. Another indicator that we are in a different place from Burnaby Campus where we are defining our environment, knowingly or unknowingly, as the classroom, the building, and maybe outside. We also had a very engaging and thought provoking dialogue on use of technology in the classroom. Points of view ranged from not having them to using them but let’s be aware of the self-regulation required for responsible and purposeful usage in addition to quality of teaching and student engagement. Thank you for participating.
We ended the class with our first reading summaries. The 1-2 page written summary was submitted a few days before and posted on Canvas for classmates to read. The oral summaries happen during class time and questions are created by these students and posed to our class for discussion. I loved the summaries. One student was unable to come to class due to illness. She was sooooooo responsible, that she video recorded her oral summary and emailed that to me along with her discussion questions. It was so well done and very timely with the use of technology in the classroom discussion. Students were engaged with her video clip, which was followed by our second presenter who endured some technology issues with his PowerPoint (which I managed to figure out… kind of). Nonetheless, another thoughtful oral presentation of the reading. The written summary reports out what was read and the oral summary, students can put their own spin on what was read and ask thought provoking questions. A great discussion and wonderful moment of reporting out; a nice representation of the diversity of our class.
It strange to think that I am “over planning” for my EDUC454 class but you never know how things will unfold and I like to guide my instruction based on student input and participation. We were so engaged in class discussion and our warm-up activity, for example, it’s easy for me to adapt my lesson to go with with the flow of the class without losing focus on what we are trying to achieve. That said, I missed asking the class… “What do you expect to learn from this course?” Well, I did ask that question as part of the WEEK 1 Journal, but didn’t ask for me to learn. I guess I will keep that a surprise (to me and the rest of the class) until the end of the course when student submit their weekly journal and one-page summary. Mentioning that I go with the flow, my questions about their perceived math efficacy. As seen in our last week’s journal, many of us clustered to one end of the continuum indicating that math may not be their thing.
Weekly Journal Response – Week 2
What is your perceived level of math efficacy?
I think I’m OK at math. I would put myself with the few on the continuum who were also science people. I majored in Chemistry and minored in Mathematics. I got an A/B in high school math, failed Math 100 (which totally offset my undergraduate career), and managed to get the grades I needed in my minor and required courses to get into the Faculty of Education at UBC to teach math. I like math. I enjoyed data analysis during my dissertation… a nice application of math… but I also loved teaching high school math.
What is your math story?
It started when I dropped high school calculus in my Grade 12 year. That was a BIG mistake. I come from a small town… Prince Rupert, BC… (and just celebrated my 30th reunion). Going down to UBC to do first year science was OVERWHELMING to say the least. I even remembered not being able to find the math building for my first math class. I walked across the entire campus to realize that the building was right outside my dorms. Sad. Anyway, I had a professor who made us purchase his unpublished book and about 2/3 of the class dropped out or transferred. I endured and yes… failed. It was a bit of a stab to the ego… but I did take Math 100 again as a night course and got an A.
How does math fit into your pedagogy?
Math completely fits into my pedagogy as a high school math, science, and chemistry teacher… but also as a sessional instructor at SFU teaching EDUC471 (Curriculum Development: Theory and Practice) and EDUC454 (Quantitative Approaches to Environmental Education). Teaching math has taught me so much about how students learn. Feedback is immediate. Results are visible. And, teaching math created the foundation for my career in education and educational research. Math is FUN.
I conclude my weekly journal with some excitement and joy. I can’t wait for tomorrow and next week. I have two guest speakers coming to talk about place-based learning and the walking curriculum. Dave Barnum from SFU’s Graduate Diploma Program and Dr. Gillian Judson from Imagination Education are coming… I can’t wait. It’s going to make our learning experience in EDUC454 more rich and diverse. Welcome to our class!!!
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 23rd, 2018 | Comments Off on Bringing Nature To Us
This is one of my favourite images… a tree growing from another tree. A friendly reminder that we have to keep growing and growth can come from anything and anywhere. Growth is not always a straight line. Yesterday, I spent time updating my LinkedIN page and resume. I attended a few alumni workshops held at SFU and wanted to apply what I had learned. Updating took some time and it’s still in progress. My friend took a look at what I had written and said…
“Your path is so untraditional, for someone like me and yet we have so much in common.”
I take this as a compliment. I am thankful that my friend could see this. Sometimes it’s not all about going the traditional route from A to B. I could have “climbed the ladder” to move through or up the system, but opted to take my own route… a personalized route that filled my heart and mind. I left teaching to pursue doctoral studies. In the meantime, I started a business as sole proprietor and called myself an educational consultant. Is this how it works? I was soon find out. At the time, I didn’t know what I wanted but I loved the freedom and flexibility to create and learn. I had to go beyond the status quo.
Much like my dissertation, I want to get under the problem. Sometimes “problems” in education seem cyclic thus difficult to see its starting point. To make a long story short, I had to take a different route to see what I wanted to and needed to see. Leaving K-12 helped me to complete my dissertation and make the recommendations to practice and research I did, so that we could create system change in the context of professional learning and subject matter acquisition. I know that I would not have accomplished this had I stayed in the system as a teacher. I was able to see and understand the system, as a whole, in a deeper and broader way as a school trustee. For this, I am grateful.
The other part of my friend’s comment… “yet we have so much in common”… raises my spirit. On the one hand, it surprises me and on the other hand, it pleases me. I am surprised because I did not move up the rungs of the education system to understand what my friend understands about the system… what’s working… what’s not working… and what needs improvement. I will say that I have not done some of the super awesome things my friend has done or the super awful things my friend had to do… vice versa in terms of research and politics… but happy to know that the BIG IDEAS are the same.
It’s time for new growth. I love being the learner. My goal is to follow the path of learning. I think about returning back to the system often. I love teaching at the university and I would love to teach high school mathematics again… particularly in BC’s New Curriculum. But I wonder about the kind of freedom that exists in the system. I also wonder about what I have to contribute. I think that I have a lot to contribute but it has to be aligned to the direction of the school district. I would love to see some of my recommendations from my dissertation to come to practice, but I am also excited about doing more research to bring meaningful information back to practice. Right now, I am writing a book. It’s fun.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 08th, 2018 | Comments Off on Keep Growing
One thing that I love about teaching and learning is the immediate gratification of success. I just had a wonderful experience this morning. I helped a student with their math via SnapChat. This student was sending “streaks” via SnapChat and I happened to be one of the recipients. I replied, “looks like fun.” It was a picture of a math book. The student replies, “idek and test is Thursday.” Classic frustration and disengagement. Our conversation moved from distress to sending a picture of a question, taking a screenshot, and sending a picture back of the solution with steps… a short delay, another screenshot, and another picture of another solution. BINGO. Engagement. The student asks, “is it right?” I reply, “yup.” The student replies, “yippppeeee.” Immediate gratification experienced by ME and the student.
I love that. I miss that. The sheer joy of learning. This is why I love to teach mathematics in comparison to other subject areas like science or chemistry. There is an immediate gratification when you “get” something, solve a problem, or realize your math efficacy. It’s AMAZING. Yes, certainly, it works the other way as well. When things “get down” in math… things get DOWN. Sometimes it feels like a hole (or vortex to others) that almost feels impossible to get out of. We get stuck there and form another type of math efficacy that sounds like “I will never do math again.” Albeit a dramatization, but it’s not too far off the truth. But there is nothing more satisfying than hearing a student say, “hey, I can do this”… “that wasn’t so hard”… “I can do better next time” after you helped them out.
Another social media experience to CELEBRATE MATH involved a school principal from my school district sending me a photo of a TTOC doing math OUTSIDE with grade 1/2 students with sticks and chalk. I love that!!! Social engagement, experiential learning, and being outside to learn with your classmates are AWESOME. Furthermore, this teacher is taking a risk, doing something different, and figuring out what will help students learn math. I love how doing math on the playground also makes learning VISIBLE… to self and classmates as they are learning, but also makes it visible to the rest of the school when students have an opportunity to look and learn during recess and lunchtime. This is AMAZING (again). Celebrate learning via social media. I love how I got this information from Twitter with a tweet and a tag. Of course I’m retweeting, commenting, and replying to this tweet. It doesn’t take that much to get me excited about teaching, learning, and MATH, and in both cases, via social media. Happy learning.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 13th, 2018 | Comments Off on Feels Good
This may sound cliche but when you realize that your time on earth is limited, it would be in your best interest to do what you love. I had the gift of being away from my life for 20-days and experienced the JOY OF TRANSFORMATION. Admittedly, I’ve changed too. I witnessed people change before my eyes, recalibrating what was important to them and intuitively knowing why. I experienced a type of advocacy and agency that I have never seen before. Clear conviction. I feel lucky to have this opportunity and now I am taking a moment to reflect on what happened and think about what’s important to me.
Before the 20-days, I was participating in a couple of career education workshops at SFU to figure out my next trajectory in life. It’s too easy to look back and consider what I have done before. As much as I have fond memories of teaching secondary mathematics and continue to teach secondary mathematics one-on-one as part of my educational consulting business, I know that I am meant to do something else and my experiences as a math educator will inform and influence me on what I need to do next. I know that my love is in education, even though several times during the 20-days I’ve been asked if I’m in health care or in the medical field. As mentioned, I’m not that kind of doctor.
What I do know for sure is, I love teaching… I love learning… and I love leading. Hence, this is the underpinning of my business. But so what? Most people in education feel the same way. What separates me from other educators and what am I meant to do next? I do know that whatever I choose to do next, I need to be teaching, learning, and leading. I will make no compromise to that. What I also know for sure is, I love data analysis. I love making sense from numbers, I love creating a narrative. That is soooooo fun for me. I just completed the “School Trustee Study” with my research partner (and former senior supervisor) Dr. Dan Laitsch. I just loved playing around with the numbers and making meaning from what we found from the data. I loved the collaboration, critical thinking, and shared expertise. I felt like we accomplished something that is worthwhile.
At the last SFU workshop, I identified 5 core values: (1) integrity and truth; (2) self-respect and pride in my work; (3) having a positive impact on society and others; (4) using creativity, imagination, and being innovative; and (5) autonomy, independence, and freedom. There were many other items to choose from and rank, but this turned out to be my top 5. What amazes me from this list is… I AM COMPLETELY ALIGNED. These 5 core values resonate with me and aligns to what I am doing now… with my business, research, and school trusteeship. This realization is invigorating… knowing that I am doing what I want to be doing. I am on the right trajectory. So, how can I go further?
I am so stoked that I am teaching EDUC454 for a second time this summer. I love that I can take what I have learned from last summer to make this course even better. It’s a time for me to return to my love of teaching and learning, but also find innovative and creative ways to engage and empower adult learners / pre-service teachers. I am driven by my research and the power of experiential learning and reflective practice. I feel honoured to have the opportunity to work with pre-service teachers to influence and encourage them to do what’s right in the K-12 classroom and develop their pedagogy.
I am also thinking about how to expand my business. I am getting new tutoring clientele, I am engaged in research as an affiliate scholar with the Centre for the Study of Educational Leadership and Policy at SFU, and it looks like I will write a book or two as promised in my TEDxWestVancouverED talk. I definitely have one in mind… and another one… and another one. It’s a matter of getting started. I need new material to glean from. I recently guest blogged for McGraw-Hill Education on the “Art of Teaching,” to be published in April. I continue to write about my practice as a secondary mathematics teacher, just like I did for Gillian Judson’s blog ImaginED. It’s been almost 8 years since I left the K-12 classroom and it’s time to write and talk about something else.
Finally, school trusteeship is something to consider. If you look back at previous blog entries, I learned so much from my trusteeship as an educator, parent, and educational leader. Governance plays a huge role in public education and it’s the responsibility of school trustees and boards of education to understand their role, work together with senior management teams, and do what’s best for student learning. I am passionate about this role in education. What we do matters… at all levels in education. Trustees have the responsibility of representing community values, bringing expertise to the table as oversight, and politicizing in a way that leverages learning FOR ALL. This term ends October 2018 and many are deciding whether if they will run or not in the next municipal election. That decision, for me, might come up in my next blog entry. TBA.
Although the “endpoint” is not clear or precise, I am on the right path. It’s reassuring that I am heading towards a vision. I am passionate about education and “finding my place” is important to me… as it should be for all those who are involved in education. Your role matters. Your expertise matters. You competencies matter. And, the right fit matters. We are always changing, so “fit” will also change over time. Be true to yourself and do what’s best for you and the people you serve. There are many opportunities in education where you can make a difference in student learning. You have to find it, then do it well.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, March 09th, 2018 | 1 Comment »
I’ve returned back to curling after YEARS of not doing it… and I returned part-time. What I love about curling is, you can do this sport at any age and anytime. I learned how to curl when I was 13-years old at the Prince Rupert Curling Club, I had an 8-ender scored against me in my first bonspiel, and I was a high school provincial champion… in the 80’s!!! Yes. Good times. I curled during my days at university, curled at the Gibsons Curling Club when I started teaching, and left the sport when I had my kid. So why did I return back to curling? It’s been an on-and-off love affair with the sport. I love to curl and being in my post-doctoral self, curling does “feel a bit different.” But, that’s ok. I still have fun on the ice, I am driven to make the kick-ass shot, and I love looking at the big picture of the game to strategize “a win” with my team. It’s an exemplar of what I like to do.
The more I begin to understand myself, my strengths, and my purpose… what I know for sure is, I am interested in systems, leadership, and alignment. Systems are complicated because it’s created by people for people. You should share the same objectives, but you don’t share the same role. You can’t. Much like a curling team, the Lead, Second, Third, and Skip all play different roles and each player has their strengths. It’s important for each member of the team to understand their roles, what strengths they possess to contribute to the team, and what role each team member plays and what strengths they possess to contribute to the team. This is KEY for teamwork, communication, and flow.
When one misunderstands their role or another players role… or if one believes that they are in the wrong position or is unaware of their strengths or others… or if one player thinks that they are responsible for doing all of the roles, the system is disrupted. As a result, the team becomes disfunctional and it is highly unlikely for the team to be successful when there is a misalignment in roles and misunderstanding of how all the roles must work in tandem to make the shot and win the game. The struggle becomes internal, not with the opponent of the game. Focus is distracted by the “little things.” In the end, the game is not fun to play. It becomes too serious and nobody is winning.
A shared understanding, trust, and respect are key elements to a good curling team. What helps establish these key elements and thus maintains and nourishes these key elements is communication. Do we feel safe to question the skip? Does the skip have a clear vision? Is the team working together to make the best outcome of every shot (because every execution is rarely perfect 100% of the time)? Are we clear about our WHY for each shot, the role we play, and how it plays in the big picture? This cohesion is only established with clear and concise communication. Furthermore, it takes LEADERSHIP… from all players. The skip is the leader of the team but each player is a leader based on their strengths, knowledge, and expertise. Everyone is a contributor. Collectively, the team makes the shot and wins the game. No one player is better or more important than the other. We each have a role to play… so know it and play it well.
Any second guessing, ego bruising, or parking lot conversations will automatically disrupt the flow of the team and the harmony that’s needed amongst all players to achieve a common goal. Ideally, you want other teams and team members looking at your team and have them ask questions about your team and how they can be just like you. You can’t control others but you can certainly influence them through your actions that this is what we are all about, we are a team, and we are open to any inquiries to help your team or team members be a better team or player. Being a cohesive and collaborative team builds on our collective efficacy but also our own individual confidence and competence.
I loved it when players from the other team asked me last night what I would do in their situation. It was the end of the game. My team had a rock over the pin and nestled in front of our opponent’s rock. There were two rocks covering our shot rock and many other rocks surrounded the house. It was pretty clear to me that my team would steal the point, but we would still lose the game. Nonetheless, the opponent wanted to throw their last rock. I told them that I would throw the rock through. They said, what if it wasn’t the last end? I said, I would still throw the rock through if we had 2 more ends to play. They did not understand my rationale and proceeded with the call of drawing to the button. My advice was not taken. Truth… they didn’t have to throw their last rock to win the game.
As anticipated, we got the point and lost the game… but the opposing team members asked me a follow up question: Why would you want to throw the rock through? I explained my WHY and how it played in the bigger strategy of the game and demonstrated to them by moving the rocks how it was impossible for them to get one point. Get two points with the hammer next end and you’re up by 3 coming home. You got the game. They watched me kick the rocks as if it was a take-out and we looked at the rocks. The yellow rock was still closer to the pin by half a centimetre. My team would have still stolen a point if they had thrown hail-mary shot with hopes of getting one.
A BIG AHA from my opponents and I love how they had questions about the game. Solace. This is what I love that about teaching and learning… and how leadership, teamwork, and influence play a huge role in the success of my team, the teams we play against, and for the sport as a whole. I love that I have returned back to curling to be reminded of these lessons and metaphors of what I like to do and why I love the sport. What’s the big picture, who are the players, and how are we going to get there?
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, January 24th, 2018 | Comments Off on Curling as an Exemplar
I took this picture on Waikiki beach in Honolulu on the last day of our trip. I saw the tree the night before and was mesmerized by the complexity of its branches. We returned back the next day and I had to take a picture. I never seen a tree like this before. Moreover, it’s one of my favourite images… Light coming through trees. I just love it.
This is a nice image to start 2018. What’s next? We’re in the new year and it’s time to take the next step. My 2018 One-Word is CREATE and I am faced with the challenge of MAKING NEW GOALS. It’s hard to believe that I met my lifelong goals and now I understand that making goals is about achieving them, adapting them, and yes… making new ones. When I was teaching secondary mathematics, I dreamt about speaking in front of a large audience about education and getting my doctorate. I never imagined it would happen. I left teaching in public schools and spoke in front of a large audience about education and became a doctor. Truth… for years, I thought it was only a dream.
I guess this is a great place to be. I’ve met my lifelong goals. It’s absolutely amazing!!! What I have learned is, you take big risks to achieve your goals. You may not realize it at the time. Leaving the classroom was not easy for me, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. That was 7-years ago. It’s pretty clear that my love for education, teaching, and learning has not stopped. I love the opportunity to teach at the university as a sessional instructor and being a school trustee has helped me to keep in touch with the K-12 system. What’s next? For the last week, I have been chatting with others face-to-face and online about what I will do next. It’s been a question mark and the advice I get in return is to take a break and what you are meant to do next will present itself.
Ahhh yes… back to TRUST. Today I woke with the notion of being open to anything. What I’ve learned about achieving my lifelong dreams mid-career is that anything is possible, if you want it to be and you believe it’s possible. Believe it or not, I got my BIG AHA on what’s next? from the #bcedchat I co-moderated with @DAliceMarsh on TIME SHIFTING. The topic was about big life changes that influenced our careers in education. For me, I named leaving K-12 and my dissertation. As the edu-chat continued, I ended the chat with “A8. I don’t know exactly, but it’s going to be fun, engaging, and transformational. Likely education related and I am deep into my purpose and passion” to answer what I am expecting or hoping for next. The crazy part is, I wrote the #bcedchat questions.
For those who follow my Twitter feed, I also appreciated the learning from BIG LIFE EVENTS and I have much gratitude because I would not know what I know today and have met the people whom I met since leaving the K-12 classroom. Yes, “a plan” would have been ideal but in hindsight, I had a plan: talk to a large audience about education and get my doctorate. DONE. Now it’s time for a NEW PLAN. I am the creator of what’s next and I never perceive “rejection” or “no” as failure or not being worthy. I look at it as a sign that this is not the way to go, it’s not the right time, or my alignment is elsewhere. What I realize is, I cannot have a narrow focus on what’s next and I am able and willing to do more or something different. I met my lifelong goals. It’s time for NEW GOALS and I am open to anything who would benefit from my expertise, mindset, and experience.
Of course, I am not going to stand still. I will be sending out my CV to opportunities that I could contribute to but also learn from. I want to be learning and build on my expertise. In the meantime, I will embark on more research as a post-doctoral experience and hope to publish a few articles. I have more to learn about research as it relates to practice, leadership, and the K-12 system in addition to what it takes to publish research. This is my learning. I would also like to publish a book and what it takes to do that. That said, I am also interested in opportunities where I am teaching and learning, or helping others to engage in teaching and learning. This is the extension. I look forward to what’s next.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, January 22nd, 2018 | Comments Off on New Goals
It’s been awhile since I have blogged. I am back logged with blogs so don’t be surprised if there’s flurry of blogs from my site in the next while. I put everything on hold. Aside from the essential basics like bare brushing my teeth, driving my kid to school, and attending meetings, my life has been focused on getting this dissertation completed. Yesterday, I submitted my “new final draft” to the editor. I need help with my grammar and APA. I’ve got two editors. It’s nice to get another set of eyes on my paper to ensure that I am getting my ideas across and in the right format.
As I wait for formative feedback on my dissertation and wait between loads of laundry, I blog. Trust me. I have a tonne more things to do… but this seems like the right thing to do at this point in time. You’ve got to go with your gut instinct sometimes and ignore the “shoulds” that could take over your life. I like this. Writing without much worry of grammar and correct formatting… it’s quite liberating from what I was doing over the last few months. Take a look at this photo. What is it? Data. More extraneous data analysis because I found something else to think about.
The dissertation process has taught me that learning still has structure, rules, and expectations… but learning is also about curiosity, inquiry, and experimentation. Oh my goodness, I thought that I would experience “academic freedom” as a doctoral student but there are a lot of rules to follow. Don’t kid yourself. On the other hand, the inquiry is yours and no one else’s. It’s up to me to decide what references I choose to use. It’s up to me what methodology would fit best. It’s up to me how I want to answer my research question. That’s so crazy. Is there a right answer?
What I do know is… the dissertation process is all about the process with hopes of finding an answer. This is why it’s so important to have a question that you could answer and want to answer. At first, I wanted to “change the world” with my dissertation. Who’s kidding who??? Will I add to research? Probably. Did I answer my research question? Most definitely. Did I find anything ‘mind blowing’? Nope. What I did find is, myself and my happiness. I have gathered data that the field has already known and I found some possible ‘real-life’ solutions to the problem. Nice!!!
Furthermore, I have a greater appreciation for the learning process as a doctoral student. You don’t have to pursue a doctorate degree to appreciate the learning process, but it did take me this long to realize how precious the learning process is and how much I value the teaching profession. Did I want to finish my dissertation sooner rather than later? Absolutely. But I truly believe that you have to be ready to finish. I am ready. Now, I receive emails that read… “when you think it will be done?” and “what is your timeline?” ARGH… I keep underestimating my timeline.
Understanding how much time it would take to complete a task is still a challenge… but I’m a lot more forgiving of myself when I take more time than anticipated. For example, it took me six days to complete a task I thought would take one. I’ve been working on revisions since the new year. I had to redo all of my calculations from Chapter 4 because I changed the sample size and realized I had data that should not have been there and mistaken one calculation for another. My 2-week spring break was spent recalculating, which resulted in new results and a new Chapter 5.
Another time gobbler was realizing that I had the wrong format on all of my tables and figures. I started investigating APA and redoing all of the tables with my new calculations. And even still, I felt like I was guessing. I thought I was done when I submitted a final draft in December, but luckily I’ve been receiving feedback for each chapter since the new year and not only need to redo Chapter 5 because of Chapter 4 and feedback, I was advised to write a Chapter 6. Yes, the dissertation got longer. It took a month to get Chapter 5 and 6 completed and submitted to the editor.
Why am I even blogging about this? There are plenty of books out there about “how to complete your dissertation” and other blogs that try to be helpful as you work towards completion. I just need the opportunity to share my learning experience and reflect on what I’ve learned in a blog. The process is somewhat isolating, but I’ve appreciated all of the support and help I’ve received. I learned more about student advocacy and student agency. I learned more about perseverance, determination, and grit. I learned more about my learning. I could not be more grateful.
The dissertation process has been a META experience for me… as a doctoral student and what I am writing about. You cannot learn in isolation. You have to reach out for help. Ask questions. Be vulnerable. Take the lead of your own learning because no one else will. Do what’s important to you. I’ve made my dissertation a priority (many times), but this time it feels different. I have fallen in love with my research all over again. I am so glad I’m following through. I am scheduled to defend in the Summer 2017 and in order to do so, my “real” final draft has to be done very soon.
I’ve heard from my supervisor, my editor, and my mom… “Take the time to get it right.” When you hear something three times or experience something in three’s… it’s your opportunity to pay attention. All of a sudden… this makes sense to me. It does not have to be perfect. It has to be better than just done. It has to be something that I am passionate about and believe in. I put EVERYTHING aside to get this dissertation done to answer my question. I never knew that my frustration was embedded in my research question, but now I feel peace, happiness, and joy. I am hopeful.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, April 16th, 2017 | Comments Off on Everything on Hold
Awe. I love this photo. This is the first picture of our daughter on the day that she was born. She’s absolutely beautiful. I love her to bits. Let’s not talk about everything that led up to this special day. Morning sickness, excessive weight gain, and pre-diabetes symptoms are a few unexpected joys of my pregnancy. This is not to mention all of the wonderful experiences during childbirth.
I went to prenatal classes with my husband, but I had no idea what to expect when my water broke. What I can say is, it was messy, painful, and took longer than expected. My favourite memory of giving birth was… “you’re not trying”… “you have to go around the corner”… and “one more time.” Translation… I was not pushing hard enough, I did not pay attention to lesson 3 of pre-natal, and I had to endure many rounds of contractions without pushing. Furthermore, she was born one day later than I expected. So why am I telling you this? Giving birth was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. Writing my dissertation is a very close second. The learning experience is feeling ironically familiar and it might take longer than expected.
I have induced labor… on my dissertation. My first draft was completed, but I have recently learned that I have to “kick it up a notch” to get it to a place where it is defensible. Deep down inside, I knew that it needed a bit of work but having someone tell you that it needs editing, updating, and a bit more grit is much like the nurse who said to me, “you’re not trying (hard enough).” She had a good point. Mind you, when I did push harder, I felt like I made progress and bursted multiple blood vessels in both eyes. It was not a pretty scene, but the baby was born. I am willing to push… harder. Second realization, I do have a team of people supporting me to make my dissertation happen, but much like child birth, the only person who can make this happen is ME. No one else is pushing… but me. I have moments of wanting to give up and keep this ‘baby’ inside but that would be unreasonable. It’s gotta come out!
What will have I have to do to get this done? I have to endure some pain. I have to be vulnerable. And, I have to accept help from others. Giving birth to my dissertation, I will have to undergo several revisions. I am ready. Next, I have to be OK with the idea that I’m not the best academic writer. Reading and writing has been a lifelong fear, weakness, and personal limitation. The dissertation is calling this to question and I must face this deficit wholeheartedly and ‘get around the corner.’ I have made progress with my reading and writing, but I have to take blog writing into academic writing. In order to achieve this, I need to ask for help. The university has several services to offer and my supervising team can give some guidance, but I need to hire an editor: one to get me to my next draft and another to my final draft.
You can visit me in the maternity ward while I am in dissertation labour. I might be busy and don’t expect it to be pretty. It will be messy and painful. I am expecting plenty of rounds of contractions, lots of screaming, and multiple positions experienced to get this baby out. BTW: I did not have an epidural when I gave birth to my daughter. It was all natural with the help and support of many experts in the field. The dissertation will be the same. Giving birth will be a relief, an accomplishment, and joyful… knowing that this is not the end, but a new beginning. I look forward to life with my ‘new baby’ as Dr. Younghusband, but until then, let the labour begin.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, May 14th, 2016 | Comments Off on Giving Birth
I am so fascinated by the learning process. I love learning about student learning, especially in the context of mathematics education. I love learning about teachers as learners, the premise of my dissertation. Best of all, I am learning about my learning. It’s been almost 8 years since I’ve started the doctorate program in Educational Leadership at SFU… and I’m almost done. So why am I blogging? Good question.
As mentioned in a previous blog entry, “What Motivates One To Blog,” I blog when I’m inspired. There is no schedule for inspiration. First, I hate to be writing something that may not have a mutual benefit to the reader and writer. Second, sometimes if I don’t blog, I get blocked from doing my other writing (aka. my dissertation). Also, it’s a good reminder to me of what’s important. What’s my boundaries? What’s my goals?
One aspect of learning I would like to blog about today is… The Goods Internal. This concept comes from Aladair MacIntyre (1984), The Nature of Virtues. I first learned about this during my Master of Education degree I started in 1999. It was my first course with Dr. Murray Ross. My brain went for a loop. Education philosophy as my first course was a humbling learning experience, but also an awakening.
At the time, I could only make sense of MacIntyre’s (1984) work when I referenced it to curling. I guess, for me, that curling was one of the few practices I have engaged in to truly understand the goods internal to the practice, the goods external, and standards of excellence. I just loved the example given in his book as he describes a young boy first learning how to play chess. At first, the boy was rewarded with candy to play chess. In time, the boy learns through engagement the goods internal to the game of chess and not longer needed candy to motivate him to play and win.
For some reason, I wanted to include this concept in my literature review of my dissertation. Unfortunately, it seemed disconnected to my research question. The goods internal to the practice is more about the ‘why’ and not about the ‘what.’ So, I deleted this section from my literature review. Admittedly, I was disappointed. I felt that the goods internal had some relevance to my study. Maybe I was wrong.
Here’s my moment of inspiration… finally. From writing in my blog… I have learned the goods internal to the practice of writing. Never thought this would be possible, but it also transfers to my dissertation. The goods internal are the ‘good feelings’ or intrinsic reward from engaging in the practice. And, you can only understand the goods internal to the practice when engaged in the practice itself. I think I’ve got it!!!
Well… so what? Guess what I found out from my data in the data analysis? Engagement in the practice matters in the professional learning experience. Boom!!! Let’s be real. I’m not going to disclose the results of my research now in my blog. That would be totally ridiculous. You’ll have to read my dissertation, when published, to find out those results… or come to my oral defence examination (TBA).
What I did realize is two-fold. First, I have had a huge dislike for reading and writing for many years… almost 40. I would say that reading and writing are not my strengths and had spent much of my formative years and higher education avoiding opportunities to read and write. It just wasn’t my preference on my ‘things to do.’ So, what do I do? I decide to go into education. I thought I was not going to make it passed the application process… for my B.Ed., M.Ed., and now Ed.D, The most crazy part of this edu-journey is that now I have to write a dissertation!!!
I am not going to lie… I did have some demons to work through. No question. Writing in a blog was one vehicle to practice writing, but also a new opportunity for me to express myself. I was living the life of an extrovert for over 15 years as a secondary mathematics teacher and when I left my job, my life transformed to one of an introvert… aka. academic/researcher. That was not a natural transition for me and would still rather extrovert than sit quietly… alone… to read and write.
Guess what I’m doing now? I’m sitting quietly… reading and writing. It has taken some time to engage in the practice of writing… reading is coming along as a close second… and enjoying the process. Looking back at how I started to compose Chapter 1 draft compared to writing Chapter 5 was almost night and day. I was paralyzed before. Overthinking. Overanalyzing. Overcritical. Now, I much enjoy free-writing to purge my thoughts, in a thoughtful and tangible way. I have found the goods internal.
Second, I have learned that the goods internal are a part of my study. I am not sure how I will integrate this back into my literature review or discussion/conclusion, but I am confident to reach for excellence in anything, one has to engage in the practice. Yes… initially one may be lured by the goods external. But it’s the goods internal to the practice that is the transformative staying power of the learning process where one will strive for excellence and develop a PASSION for what he or she is doing.
Hmm… I never thought that I would be a writer… and enjoy it. I have enjoyed the dissertation process thus far and excited for what’s next in this edu-journey. What an incredible vehicle for me to understand and appreciate the goods internal. In this case, persistence pays off. Tomorrow I’ll be going to the SFU Vancouver Thesis BootCamp. Three full-days of complete dissertation immersion… and I’m looking forward to it.
Written by Christine Ho Younghusband, February 15th, 2016 | Comments Off on The Goods Internal
One thing that I love about teaching and learning is the immediate gratification of success. I just had a wonderful experience this morning. I helped a student with their math via SnapChat. This student was sending “streaks” via SnapChat and I happened to be one of the recipients. I replied, “looks like fun.” It was a picture of a math book. The student replies, “idek and test is Thursday.” Classic frustration and disengagement. Our conversation moved from distress to sending a picture of a question, taking a screenshot, and sending a picture back of the solution with steps… a short delay, another screenshot, and another picture of another solution. BINGO. Engagement. The student asks, “is it right?” I reply, “yup.” The student replies, “yippppeeee.” Immediate gratification experienced by ME and the student.
Another social media experience to CELEBRATE MATH involved a school principal from my school district sending me a photo of a TTOC doing math OUTSIDE with grade 1/2 students with sticks and chalk. I love that!!! Social engagement, experiential learning, and being outside to learn with your classmates are AWESOME. Furthermore, this teacher is taking a risk, doing something different, and figuring out what will help students learn math. I love how doing math on the playground also makes learning VISIBLE… to self and classmates as they are learning, but also makes it visible to the rest of the school when students have an opportunity to look and learn during recess and lunchtime. This is AMAZING (again). Celebrate learning via social media. I love how I got this information from Twitter with a tweet and a tag. Of course I’m retweeting, commenting, and replying to this tweet. It doesn’t take that much to get me excited about teaching, learning, and MATH, and in both cases, via social media. Happy learning.
I took this picture on Waikiki beach in Honolulu on the last day of our trip. I saw the tree the night before and was mesmerized by the complexity of its branches. We returned back the next day and I had to take a picture. I never seen a tree like this before. Moreover, it’s one of my favourite images… Light coming through trees. I just love it.
Awe. I love this photo. This is the first picture of our daughter on the day that she was born. She’s absolutely beautiful. I love her to bits. Let’s not talk about everything that led up to this special day. Morning sickness, excessive weight gain, and pre-diabetes symptoms are a few unexpected joys of my pregnancy. This is not to mention all of the wonderful experiences during childbirth.