My Cup is Full

Week 152 – February 11, 2023 – What are you paying attention to?

In teacher education, we talk about “strength based learning” and understanding how focusing on what you are good at (and you students) can build a sense of self efficacy that helps with one to engage in acts of vulnerability and learning something new. Many of us foraged forward living life in a deficit model. I’m kind of done with that Thinking about what I can’t do or believing that I’m unable is 100% limiting.

January 2023, as many have mentioned in my last blog was challenging. I plumped much of my course hours teaching in January and I’ve set out some huge ambition for 2023. It’s a lot sometimes. Also, I received some unexpected news a few times last month and spent a couple of weeks grieving and pulling up my socks and restarting. Last week has been very clear for me that focusing on my strengths brings me joy.

I just have to be me. It’s been a lifelong lesson. Along with that lesson, an addendum, is to not worry about what other people think (or judge). The lesson is to TRUST. Here we go again. When I am focused in my joy and doing what I love to do (and for the right reasons) regardless of social norms, systemic barriers, or cultural expectations, I can be just who I am and feel good about it. And for those who can see it… gets it.

An amendment to my last week’s blog about listening to others… I will correct myself. I will listen to those who provide formative feedback that is intended to help me, life me, or guide me. When people have my best interests in mind and sincerely want to help, then I will listen. And this gift or way of being is reciprocated. Authenticity, honesty, and wholeheartedness are a part of this mix. And yes, it can get messy.

I’m embracing the messy and I’m also learning how to let go (and look forward). Just be me. The image above was an exemplar of my week… of being myself… having my voice… and being open to disagreement or opposing ideas. I’m open to feedback. I want to help others. Lift them. Challenge them. I am motivated to invite others to create change to help and lift others. I hope you can see the pattern I’m creating.

In Week 152 of my #pandemicreflections, I feel like I’m arriving. I feel grounded. I feel happy. I feel like I can be myself (with no shame, self-doubt, or regret). I am also grateful for all those who keep lifting me up and helping me on this pedagogical journey. I am thankful to students in my classes, graduates from the program, past students from my K-12 years, colleagues, friends, and family. There’s lots of love.

My cup is full. I was listening to a podcast this week and one of the guest speakers mentioned (or shall I say insisted) about what we pay attention to… what are we focused on. For years (or possibly decades) I was focused on what am I doing wrong, what if I am wrong, and what will people think. UGH. Seems like a people pleaser mindset. Now I’m focused on… what makes me happy and what brings me joy. 🙂