Getting It Together

Week 153 – February 18, 2023 – Blogging Getting Difficult

Oh my… PATIENCE seeps in to my psyche again. My access to my own blog is getting more limiting (maybe with every update). Nonetheless, here I am. One step at a time. I’m getting things done (even though I have a billion things to do). Today is “be a person day” and I met up with a grad student, went to the university (briefly), and washed my kid’s laundry (i.e., 4 loads). I got recycling done, I did a bit of food shopping, and I continue to play the food game (to maximize my food dollars).

If I take a step back, I am getting some writing done, I am getting some reading done, and I am becoming more open to the idea of changes in my life and my workload so that I can work towards a tenure track appointment. Sometimes I feel like I’m back in my 30’s as if I am starting all over again. In many ways, I am starting again but I do feel like I’m 30. Huh. Am I back to who I am before marriage? Is that weird? Anyway, that’s how I am feeling lately and I am loving every moment… the ups and downs.

Nothing worthwhile is not meant to be easy. I have no regrets. Everything I have experienced brought me to where I am today. I was not in the same place where I was when I was 30, but I feel like I have a new opportunity. Another lesson I am learning is, I can only control what I can control. I can control how I feel. I can control the decisions I make. I can also control who is in my life and who is not. I mentioned in my last blog post that I am committed to being folks who help me rise, vice versa.

Just yesterday, someone backed into my car when it was parked. My kid was driving it to and from work that night. I had no control over the incident, but I do have control on how I respond to the incident and next steps. I also go my feedback from my annual performance review. I’ve only read it once… quickly. And, I need to respond to it, but overall, it looks very positive and I’m learning that when I am focused on what I need to do (i.e., be selfish), people can see what you are doing.

It almost seems counterintuitive, much like education. Focus on the “goods internal” that is, what makes you happy, what brings you joy, and what motivates you deeply, then people will reward you with the “good external.” This philosophy written by Alasdair McIntyre I learned (and continue to learn) during my Master of Education program. Curling helped me to understand this concept and now I have returned to it with my work. I will continue to read and write about ideas that bring me joy.

Slowly but surely I’m getting it together. It feels good. TRUST is a big idea I need to embrace. I recite that word often in my head when I throw a rock during a game of curling (and I can only control how I throw the rock) and the outcome will be what it will be. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes there is a Plan B (or C or D). And, all of the time, there is something to learn. No judgement on the outcome. What matters is what I do next time with what I have learned with the goal of winning the game.

Again, the goal is not focusing on winning the game, but it’s more about paying attention to all of the little things like sitting in the hack, my slide out of the hack, or release the rock that matters. I am learning this with respect to my work (and hopefully soon with my life). Once again, I can sense-make with curling in mind. LOVE THAT. Curling has never failed me… LOL. Honestly, I’ve learned a lot from the sport regarding systems, leadership, and strategy. I am truly getting it together.