Week 151 – February 3, 2023 – Cleaning the Fridge Game
Oh my… the photos are uploading and pages updating. Woohoo!!! Patience. The error messages incurred last week was due to “too many requests” and the best remedy was to wait. Ugh. As difficult as it was to wait and be patient, over time… it worked!!! A good lesson to learn. Sometimes stepping back and allowing time to do it’s work means that TRUSTING the system, the universe, or myself. All will work itself out.
Here I am. Blogging with no barriers. I was so close to just scrapping this portfolio and blog and leaving it as digital debris in cyberspace. As it turns out, I’m back!!! I’m not sad and now I know… don’t ask for too much at one time. The system just says NO and stops working. Admittedly, I was alarmed when trying to publish and wanting to update some of my webpages, but I just had to wait, stand back, and be calm. LOL.
Yes. The photo chosen for this blog post is two pieces of toast (i.e., the end pieces), the last bits of cucumber, and the last remains of sprouts in the plastic container. What you see is my Friday Brunch. It was pretty good. And, food is being consumed in my home without throwing it away or feeling like there’s nothing to eat and it sucks. I guess this is where the saying of “making lemonade out of lemons” now resonates.
January was brutal. After taking the time to REST during the winter week and going full blast to start the new year in my classes, I’m a bit spent. The workload lightens up and I am happy that it’s February. I’m even happy that it’s Friday. No meetings or classes today. I’m not sure how that happened (not knowing if I missed anything) but it feels good to have a good night’s sleep, homemade meals, and doing some work.
Hence the blog. I thought, why not? I am also learning how to build up a tough skin. I am reminded by Brené Brown and her saying of “strong back, soft front.” I love that imagery and I am trying. It’s not in my nature as an Enneagram 8 but I am aware of it’s benefits. I just needed to taper from my weeks before and a little bit this week too. I finished my PAR (professional activity report) and got some tough news. I’m ok.
What I am learning is, I can only be myself. That’s all I have. Who I show with other and how I am with others, I can only be me. In past, I used to put a lot of weight on what people thought of me (both in the good and the bad). Why? My value is not tied into what others think of me. What matters most is, what I think about myself. Can I live my actions, my thoughts, or my values? That’s what matters. I understand that.
Sometimes it’s so easy to get off balance. This week was one of those weeks. Nothing dramatic, but I found myself caught into those feelings of worrying about what other people think. First, I never want to hurt anyone. Second, I want to inspire others to create change. Finally, I want to feel good about the work that I do. This week I had a moment of vulnerability. It shook me, but I can’t control what others think or do.
Feeling rested has helped me to be ok with this week and be able to let it go. I learned a tonne from my PAR and I can see personal growth. I’m pleased with that and I can see my potential. That’s exciting. I can’t compare myself with others, but I can learn from them. Mentoring can be critical with next steps and I am willing to reach out. I am in a much better place and I can be patient of myself. I just need a little time.