Change The Story

Week 34 (of 38) – May 13 to 17, 2019

Oh wow… back-to-back weekly blogs of learning… and I am so grateful for the power of writing. It’s my #OneWord2019: Writing. Although my intentions to WRITE is more directed towards research, publishing, and writing the book about my mom, I appreciate the blog platform. THIS IS FORMATIVE. It’s a way for me to reflect, self-assess, and learn… aka. Assessment As Learning. Since returning home to the Sunshine Coast, I’ve been struggling with deep sadness and desperately wanting to get out of it. This lack of willingness to be vulnerable and take risks is holding me back from doing my work. It’s a little frustrating (for everyone). After writing my last blog entry, I’ve realized that my number one priority… what I value and believe in… is my kid. I am kid centric. I would not admit to helicopter parenting, but I do admit to being a WET BLANKET. I just want to smother her (with my love and attention). And, I would do anything to be with her.

My next priority is my pedagogical journey… aka. MY CAREER. I’ve been a secondary math teacher, school trustee, educational consultant, sessional instructor, and assistant professor. I will have to admit, it’s pretty tough to let go of my OLD STORY. In fact, I am just holding onto it as if my career depended on it. In some ways, it does. My history made me who I am today. That said, holding onto what was is preventing me from exploring and engaging with what could be. After attending CAfLN19 and NOIIE2019, I realized a few things: (1) I’m at the beginning. I have so much to learn. I am not the expert. (2) There is work to do. I am super excited about the potential research opportunities. I want to jump in and consider ADAPTIVE EXPERTISE, formative assessment, and Spirals of Inquiry. (3) Networking is key. I have met so many new people and reconnected with those I already know in the field. I have MENTORS!!!

As much as I am recovering from a VULNERABILITY HANGOVER… and realizing that students, their learning, and their learning experiences are my priority (next to my daughter and her wellbeing)… I need to outweigh what is possible from what is or was. Even entering a new workplace, I had to understand the workplace culture and practices to understand what I see. Basically, you have to learn more about “the story.” As much as I thought I could separate myself from the story, you get trapped in the story. I become part of the story. That story exists, but I also have my own stories. I am always the last to know my potential because of my damn stories. As much as I want to see change in the field and in my workplace, I have to start with MYSELF. We are back to Dr. Helen Timperley’s pre-conference message at NOIIE2019. What do I believe? I started this blog with the title of “Create a Story” but revised it to CHANGE THE STORY. Change the story.

This was a great place to start… at the pier at Davis Bay on the Sunshine Coast walking with my daughter. I need to understand who I am. This may require DECLUTTERING… REBRANDING… and REDEFINING. I am in a new place and I am becoming more clear about what’s important to me and what I am motivated about, personally and professionally. Attending CAfLN19 and NOIIE2019 was a godsend. Even though I was not in the best state of mind… I have many friends and supportive colleagues around me. I am reminded of my love for FORMATIVE ASSESSMENT and how each of us will make a difference. I loved listening to Dr. Linda Kaser when she sat at my table for one of the discussion talks at NOIIE2019. She said that she will not give up until students know what they are learning, why they are learning it, and where they are going next. I love her persistence and resilience. There is work to do. I have no regrets. I am meant to be here.

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