A New Beginning
Week 149 – January 21, 2023 – Chinese New Year Eve
In the photo was a gift that was given to me from my family law lawyer after my divorce was final. You know, I could not even spell divorce correctly until it was actually true (aka., recently). Hmm… that always makes me wonder, but it’s true. I’m “officially” restarting life (again) or going back to who I really was and exploring that path of being true to who I am and trusting that each step I take is good for me.
What I am learning is, I cannot let this event or anything otherwise define me. I am the one that defines who I am. No one else. This lesson has been a tough one to learn. It’s taken me decades. I am starting to blog on another site as I explore a self-study using the Spirals of Inquiry and learn more about Human Development. It’s not to say that I believe that everything is academic, but a framework to help me understand.
I spent most of my life trying to please others or lead my life in a way that I thought was suppose to be led based on the expectations of others. What I am learning is, one’s best life is spent doing what’s best for self in the service of others. Although this can be quite nuanced, it’s a deep understanding that requires one to know self. I have finally given myself space and permission to do so and frankly, it’s bumpy. LOL.
My divorce was official as of January 16, 2023 and even though I’ve been living my life alone for the last few years, I spent that time to figure out who I really am and what’s important to me. The #pandemicreflections (notice: it’s Week 149) and being honest with myself of what’s possible has offered me a solace and peace that I have not had… ever!!! It feels good and I recognize that. It feels good to just be me. 🙂
In celebration of the 2023 Chinese New Year, I am returning back to my maiden name, (Alice) Christine Ho. Yes, my first name is in brackets. As a child, I never liked my name… overall… but I am returning back to who I am (and honouring who I am). My name is “Dr. Christine Ho, Ed.D.” I remember as a kid writing my name out with doctoral credentials, not really know the journey I would take to get here (so far).
I am going to figure out how to change my name back to who I am and discover what it really means to be “Christine Ho” and be proud of who I am. This blog entry may sound ridiculous to some, but this pedagogical journey has been a whirlwind to say the least. Some up moments, some down moments… but truth, they are all learning moments and my job was to notice, wonder, and learn from them. It’s been slow.
Here I am. It’s the “official” start to a new beginning and I am excited, nervous, and open to what’s to come. My first step was to commit to me and my family’s name. My second step is changing my social media (this website included). Next will be legal name, paperwork, and name changes with every… single… legal… document. I’m not looking forward to that, but I am looking forward to everything else. I can do this.