Finding My Joy Again
Week 105 – Part 2 – March 20, 2022 – Who do I want to be
Is this an exercise of growing up? I was so happy to go to the opening weekend of the Women’s World Curling in Prince George with my twin bro. It’s been super fun to have him return to Prince George to check out the curling scene and reconnect. He drove up from the Lower Mainland to catch a couple games of the tournament. I will admit, I don’t have the best seat, but I am super happy to be watching the event live.
Members of my curling team and curling club were also out watching the games or volunteering at the event. I really appreciate the sound of the game on the ice. I don’t think that live coverage on TSN can replace the energy that’s on the ice. I really enjoy the idea that all of these people have come from all over the world to play this game. I was so pleased to see the calibre and competition today and there is more to come.
It’s interesting to hang out with my brother. He can say things to me that no one can. Strangely, he knows me well and it was interesting to realize that he is going though his midlife unravelling as we speak. It’s kind of pleasant and unfortunately familiar. The pandemic has put us all in a place (for those with this kind a privilege) to realize there is more to life than what is. My brother has also been reflecting this pandemic.
Anyway, during one of the games today, he turned to me to say that he thought that the game brought me a lot of joy. He watch my team play the night before when he arrived to Prince George. I did not know what to say to him. It caught me off guard. I returned to the sport after many years of not playing due to my job and my kid. I used to be competitive as a junior player and young adult. I play Friday nights now.
My brother said that I am very animated on the ice. I will admit that I look forward to Fridays to end the week and get on the ice. My body does not like it so much. It’s been so long since I’ve played and I am not in the best physical condition. That said, I love the game, being with my team, and the technical aspects of sport. After watching the teams play tonight, I am inspired to be a better self and prepare for next season.
Sound kind of silly, but I am starting to realize what I need to do, where I am now, and make a commitment to the person I want to be. I had a conversation with a friend on Friday afternoon and I appreciated the dialogue, honesty, and experience. I don’t know what I am getting into and I have a long way to go. I have moments wondering why anyone invests time in me, but I have to start to invest time in me.
I am always left wondering after talking to my friend. I need the help, guidance, and friendship. I also need the mirror to look back at me. I need that person to reflect my values, wants, and needs. It’s sometimes hard to find that person or community. I feel lucky to know people who I can see my reflection in and want to be more like them, much like the women on the ice today at the Women’s World Curling Championship.