Surrender and Smile

Week 135 – October 15, 2022 – just let it go

On my gosh… I have to throw in the white towel. My hands are up. You’ve got me. I surrender. I can get all worked up and get worked up about things happening the way they “should” or just go with the flow, adapt, and just make the best of what is. That’s what I’m doing. This theme of surrendering and letting go relented all week. Alright universe, I’m listening. I’m letting go and feel ok about it. Actually, I feel thankful and relieved.

My first surrender is THIS BLOG. I had full intentions of blogging twice a week with an ambition to blog everyday. Forget it. I’m at the end of the week again with no mid-week blog post. There’s so much to do on a day to day basis as well as many things as I look ahead, increasing my blog frequency is not a priority. I think about what my academic coach has said, the body speaks truth. I did not want to do it, nor did I have time to. That said, I do enjoy the weekly blog and will continue with my #pandemicreflections. I’m good with this.

The second indicator was my EDUC 405 class. We had a guest speaker and tech was not working in my favour. I could not believe it and even having IT to help remedy the problem was not helpful. My class is only 80 minutes and I could feel it slipping away. We decided to move forward as best we could. I was so proud of my students. They were so chill and participated wholeheartedly. I am so grateful for my class. They were even trying to reassure me even though I felt the cortisol accruing in my gut. It was challenging.

The last notification letting me know how to surrender was email, Moodle maintenance, and conference proposals. I have a tonne of things to do with specific timelines and deadlines… and what I am learning is, I can only do one thing at a time and that’s ok. It will get done. My proposals got done at the 11th hour and I feel so much more grounded with email and Moodle addressed. I am also prioritizing sleep, if I can without panicking or “shoulding” myself to do things. Sometimes I may just be tired and sleeping is ok to do.

Slowly but surely things are get by done and I can maintain some sense of sanity and taking those moments to slow down. I have clarity. Today was the municipal election too. I can empathize with all of the candidates. A tough road regardless of outcome. I travelled that road, voted today, and not sad that I walked away from that world. I am happy with what I am doing and I will enjoy every moment. ☺️