Situating Self

End of Week 13 – Stuck in Transition

Oh my geebs… It’s June 15th. MID-JUNE?!? Time is really flying by. I need to get out of the “new norm” and create a new, NEW NORM (for me). Yikes. I must be enjoying my time too much on the Sunshine Coast. We have ended Week 13 of #COVID19 in BC and well into Week 14. I’m behind on my weekly blog, but realized that much relies on inspiration. I have to listen sometimes. My inspiration came to me on Saturday… “Situating Self”… and life has iterated evidence for that theme over and over again for me over the past few days. Where am I? Where am I going to be? Where am I going?

So here I am… on Monday… writing Friday’s blog. I am definitely in a state of transition. I’ve been here for quite some time and finding the space to move forward, create self, and re-situating myself in what is. We are back here again. I cannot believe it. Actually, my mode of being or “plan of attack” is to GO WITH THE FLOW. But what I am realizing as I am moving along the current is, I have to paddle too and provide some direction to where I am going. This will require some visioning, imagination, and commitment.

Seriously… I am in transition… which contributes to my state of paralysis and productivity. I had the pleasure of watching a tenure track presentation on teaching and research. I love serendipity as this presentation dealt with identity and research. This presentation tapped my shoulder in terms of figuring out who I am, what is worth researching, and situating self in research. This is what I am faced with, which I’m sure that every researcher is faced with to some extent. I love being here on the Sunshine Coast with my kid and dog; and being situated in place and community. I being close to the ocean and listening to the waves. The coastal air is clean and refreshing. I love where I live.

My work is somewhere else. I love the people in this community and the work I engaged in. I am learning and wish to continue challenging myself in ways that are interesting, intriguing, and provocative in the realm of BC education. I feel lucky to have had a career in K-12 teaching secondary math, multiple terms of service as school trustee, and now I am at the university involved in teacher education and graduate studies. I had an incredible opportunity in the last 2-years contributing to educational change and redesign at the school of education and I feel that I am part of this community. I appreciate being back in Northern British Columbia. This is where I was born and raised. I can see the potential of what can be, but I have to understand self more to venture forward.

Are things perfect? No. Are things in my control? Yes and no. Am I certain about the future? Absolutely not. Do I have good people in my life? Yes I do. Everyday is a learning day and I often get stalled or hesitate as I embark on something new. I know that I am OK and I can ride the wave, a bit. I also have to steer the ship sometimes to to ensure that I am making some progress that is of my doing and choice. That said, I will not force anything to happen. That never works. I just need to listen, be kind to self, and take a step forward here and there to understand my place to situate self. I am in two places. My life is in two places. My work is currently undefined and thus, that’s my work to define it, imagine it, and provide direction for it. How will I situate myself in my research?

#pandemicreflections #research #identity #clarity