Put In My Place

A couple of weeks between post-dissertation and start of the school year, I had some time to reflect on where I came from, where I am, and where I want to go. What I have realized is, I have not skewed too far from where I’ve come from and I fully intend to move forward accordingly. I am reminded of a few memories from my teaching career that paved the road ahead of me, whether if I knew it or not. Looking back, the vision is clear.

I was put in my place early in my teaching career. I was teaching a few years in the math department and part of the curriculum implementation team. At the time, I was deeply concerned about math education and students coming into Grade 8. I was given an opportunity to talk to the school principals during one of their monthly meetings as a guest speaker. Let’s talk math, right? Wrong! I suggested to this group that one way to improve student achievement in mathematics was to teach elementary teachers mathematics. One school principal quickly responded by saying, “Who would want to do that? Nobody.” That was a quick end to that conversation and I was put in my place. Who in their right mind would want to learn more about mathematics? <<rhetorical question>>

As a result, I thought I was wrong. Who am I to think that elementary school teachers would benefit from learning mathematics? Shall we assume that all teachers are prepared to teach what they are assigned to teach? I know for me, that was not the case. I was not prepared to teach Keyboarding 9, but taught it anyway. I was not prepared to teach Biology 8 or Earth Science 11 even though I am a trained secondary science and mathematics teacher. Yes, you just get by and hope for the best, but was I prepared? Of course not… but I had to learn the subject matter on the job and develop subject specific pedagogy that would/could reach all students.

If you are a pattern seeker like me, I wondered how often I was put in my place. I recall another defining moment when I was taking my Masters Degree more than 15 years ago. At the time, I was feeling overwhelmed because I was doing coursework, teaching full-time, and sponsor teacher of the yearbook club. There were other events happening during that time that may have affected my performance but I was pulled aside by the school principal who basically told me that I was underperforming and I should drop out of my Masters program. I was devastated. Later, the school principal did say (with my staff rep present) that I was performing at a “satisfactory” level. I consulted with my Masters cohort instructors and cohort about the situation and they said to quit yearbook club instead. I hated doing it but that’s what I did.

I am so thankful that I completed my Masters degree. It helped me to dig deeper into my practice, question my practice, and make sense of teaching and learning. I was reminded by a former classmate, colleague, and friend… but also one of my editors for my dissertation… that I had always wanted to improve mathematics education. After she read my early, early draft of my dissertation, she said that she remembered me talking about this topic during our Masters program. In my MEd comprehensive paper, I wanted to create a learning community where students, teachers, and subject specialists could gather together to talk about math. I am so very grateful that my friend reminded me of this. She brought my purpose back to consciousness.

I had always felt like I was putting my job on the line when I wanted to “step out of the box” to benefit student learning and make mathematics exciting. I remember later in my teaching career in public schools that I used to do a collaborative, summative review game for Math 12 and we played in the foyer of the school. I wanted everyone in the school to get involved and get excited about mathematics. We had math-teams, daily updates, and created a lot of hype for the summative review game. Why not? Math is fun. Math is for everybody. Math is everywhere. Well… I was put in my place again. The white wall in the foyer transformed into something else and I was put back into my classroom to play. Regardless of advocacy or approach, I was told by my school principal, “You don’t have the big picture. I do.” Well, it just wasn’t the same.

A long story made short, I left teaching in public schools 7-years ago. My classes were going great at the time and I loved my students, but I opted to leave to complete my dissertation. So, I end this blog entry with my dissertation defence. Looking back now, every action I took has been in light of my purpose. My writing, my teaching, and my learning have all been designed to take me to the next step. I realize now, for example, that my interest in assessment had nothing to do with assessment itself, but had everything to do with the teaching and learning of mathematics. My purpose continues with my dissertation and at the end of my oral defence I was put in my place again. In short, I was told not be be limited by my perceived role(s). I have an important message to share. Change will occur one person at a time. So, do it.

How can you not be inspired? 20-years later I feel validated. My purpose is clear. I am reminded of it when I see articles on line like these (see below) on social media and when I work with students. Things need to change and it’s bigger than ‘new math’ pedagogy. If we really want to see change in mathematics education and want our students to succeed in mathematics as life-long learners, then we need to get to the heart of the problem… and dig deep. What I know for sure is, I can’t teach something I know very little about… at least not well. Try imagining what it would be like to learn from someone who knows very little about what they are teaching. It’s a struggle.

From the CBC: Just fix the bloody math curriculum

From the Globe and Mail: In the battle of old versus new ways of teaching math

My dissertation/abstract

For those who are interested in reading my dissertation, please see link below.

The Professional Learning Experiences of Non-Mathematics Subject
Specialist Teachers: A Descriptive Study (Ho Younghusband, 2017)

https://theses.lib.sfu.ca/thesis/etd10292