Joy and Jam

Week 68 – July 4, 2021 – Or is it “Jam and Joy”?

I was always fascinated by those who were vendors at Circle Craft, the huge craft fair in Vancouver. I loved going to each vendor to ask them about their product and the story behind the product. I loved their passion and commitment to their craft. I was always astounded by the detail and the love behind their work and what drives them to keep moving forward. I had always believed that my “jam” was other people’s jam.

What I am beginning to understand is, I think I was more jealous or envious of their jam. I could see the joy that their craft would give them and the intrinsic value they found in doing it. As an outsider, I could not understand their craft at face value (i.e. organic dog treats, hand painted silk scarves, or homemade soaps). I loved tasting different foods and appreciated the art and jewelry. I wanted what they had.

In the end, I am left with two questions: What is my jam? What brings me joy? Of course, I love my kid. She challenges me, humbles me, and takes care of me. She is number one on my priority list. I love to teach. I enjoyed teaching math, but also I enjoy educational leadership and governance. What I am learning is, joy comes from within. I create my jam from what brings me joy and in return, making jam is joyful.

Yes, I went cryptic there. I am learning that what I observe around me is a reflection of what’s within. I’ve been in a state of transition and reflection. I have boxes packed, I have a one month timeline, and I have to figure out my next steps on my pedagogical journey. Finally, I have carved out some intentional time to make sense of what is, reflect on the wise words of mentors, and come to terms with what makes me happy.

Another beautiful thing about friends and feelings is, they will reflect what’s from within. Now I’m paying attention. I am not suppose to be anyone else by myself. One of my friends pointed out to me what brings me joy and another friend belittled the same thing that brought me joy. I could feel and notice how I was feeling. They both point in the same direction. Now, I am working on next steps and it’s making sense.

I love Brene Brown’s work. I need to belong to myself, be seen, and find the courage to be vulnerable. Taking the time today to reflect, do the work, and be honest with myself with what I am observing, feeling, and experiencing has been a gift. Lot’s of aha’s and I am one step closer. I know what my jam is, but I need a moment to clarify and return back to my strengths, my why, and my passion. I am super stoked.