Happy

It’s been a strange day… a tough weekend… and yet, I feel like I’ve landed a perfect dismount. How is this possible? I’ve been wanting to write a blog entry for the past few weeks. I tried a few times, but never finished them. I’ve blogged for my #UNBCed #EDUC431 e-portfolio but that was more about reflecting on our class’s guest speaker rather than writing about what’s inspiring me or what I have learned. For the past couple of months, life has been up and down to say the least, personally and professionally. I am so grateful to take the time to heal and invest in my self-care. I have no regrets, but wonder about the “life events” I have recently experienced and ones that are on the horizon. I could feel depressed, alone, or angry. Instead, I feel happy and joyful.

I noticed over the last few weeks the word HAPPY or happiness. It didn’t matter what I was looking at… a book, a sign… the word “happy” would pop into my psyche, which left me curious. Was I desperate to feel happy? Admittedly, I was in some sort of shallow way, but feeling happy doesn’t happen because we will it to be. It’s a mindset. When I think of it, over the last 2-years, life has been turning upside down with major life events. I have the list of events rattling in my head. It’s shocking to think that all of these life defining events happened in such a short time and my trajectory in life has radically changed.

Today is a special day. I received some news that should have been devastating, ego-crushing, or just simply disappointing. When I heard the news… I was soooooo HAPPY. I was relieved, but also joyful. I could not believe that this defining moment could have damaged my sense of self, to rethink about who I am and who I would like to be. Instead, the news was reassuring, reaffirming, and rejuvenating. I could not believe it. I was stressed anticipating the news, but in the end IT WAS THE BEST NEWS EVER!!!

I’ve been pondering my next steps and now it’s clear. I am overwhelmed with happiness that even when I am bombarded with more “bad news,” I can see the good. On the one hand, it’s easy to dwell on the “bad things” like leaving campus at 8:15pm after a 10-hour day. On the other hand, you can look at the “good things” like being fed dinner at your fourth meeting of the day. And yes, I choose to post this photo to represent happy. It’s dark. I saw no moose or other animals. I am leaving campus and going home. Yay me!!!

THE MAKING COMES FROM THE BREAKING. I love that saying. It makes so much sense to me. I leave campus feeling happy. Today was a moment of clarity and solace. I often wonder why some things happen. Most times, I believe it’s serendipity… and it is. Some times there is a lesson to be learned. Other times I think that the “bad things” are the breaking and something good is about to happen. I’ve experienced a lot of crappy things in my life lately that I would not wish on anyone. That said, some of the outcomes to some of these things have been wonderful, surprising, and revolutionary. I am happy.

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