Failure to Commit

Thank goodness that I don’t have to write my dissertation using pen and paper.  If so, I suspect nothing would get done.

It’s been three weeks since I got feedback from my supervisors and I cannot believe how long it is taking me to get through my revisions.  It is hard to explain to people that I am approaching my thesis proposal for the fifth time.  Although my proposal is comprehensive, meaning that I have to write a complete literature review and methodology section in addition to my introduction, I am stunned how a few changes in the beginning exponentially changes the composition of the following chapters.

I love my feedback.  I can see what I need to do to narrow my topic and by doing that… my research question has been tweaked… my sub-questions completely transformed… and complete overhaul in the significance of the study and ethics application.  I had to rehink my conceptual framework, literature review, and methodology.  I like the direction my paper, but in denial of what is needed to complete my dissertation.

Failure to commit to new ideas or leaps of faith prevent me from moving forward with my paper at the pace I wish to be moving at.  As you can see, I have no troubles blogging, but I don’t have to cite what I know and sound “academic.”  And, what I write about in my blogs just comes off the top of my head as a daily inspiration… FLOW doesn’t matter.

I am happy to announce I have just finished revising Chapter 1.  I will be editing later today before I send it off to my supervisors.  I gasp to think about redoing Chapter 2.  It’s almost like redoing the Literature Review all over again.  The paper has shifted and so does the Lit Review.  SIGH.  Then bigger changes with Chapter 3.  A few side steps completely changed the direction of my research.

In this situation, I often feel like the hamster in the wheel.  The faster I go, it seems I’m still in the same place.  This can be discouraging, but what I do know is… the only way to learn is to do and make mistakes… get feedback… fix it.. and do once again until it’s just right.