Daily Writing Practice
Week 118 – June 17, 2022 – Self-Efficacy
Here we go again. I am reconsidering daily blog writing. It is not for the reason of blogging on a daily basis like my friend and colleague Ian Landy @technolandy does. It has been recommended to me several times to adopt a practice of writing. I want to write. At first, I considered blogging daily and I was unable to maintain that practice, but the WHY is different. When I blog, I am reflecting on my week and the big ideas for learning from that week. The content could be personal or professional. Now, the idea of blogging daily comes from the idea of writing academically on a regular basis. The thought of that seems daunting, so I return to my blog as a place of solace.
I started to blog years ago to build my confidence and efficacy to write. I wanted to get my ideas out there with some level of risk (thus going public with what I write) but not so risky that I have to publish what I was writing (meaning academically). What I’ve enjoyed and appreciate the writing process is the ability to construct one’s thinking into a series of words. As I write, new ideas emerge. Abstract ideas start to make sense and I feel a sense of accomplishment with each blog I write. Although right now I can only access my blog via an application (because I locked myself out of my own website with the 2-step authentication and MOVING (and losing passwords)), I am drawn to my blog as a way to work out some of my thoughts. It’s a joyful place.
Now knowing that I intend to write academically on a daily basis, blogging daily seems reasonable to me to build up my efficacy to write and my sense of self-efficacy that I am able to start, develop, and maintain this practice of writing. Much of what I wrestle with is my own fear of writing. I never thought I was a good writer. Why? I’m not a good reader. This belief is something that I have carried with me as a child. Much of my career has been to overcome what I cannot do. I thought I was bad at math even though I got a minor in math, a teaching concentration in math, and taught secondary math for more than an a decade. I would consider myself to be a math educator. This learning cycle continues with me and research. Part of research is reading and writing. I’m not sure why I do this, but research is my next challenge.
I don’t find the process natural, yet. I spent the last few years transitioning from my independent work and public service into higher education. What does it mean to be an academic? I am learning on the job. I am learning autodidactically with the help of a few friends and mentors. I feel very lucky to have people I can reach out to. I also have an academic coach too. I just started with one a month or so ago. It took some time to get things sorted and ask for help. I am so that I did. I feel more confident and willing. I am learning when my sweet spot writing time is and what am I willing to do to block out time to write. Autodidactism was at the heart of my dissertation (at least the beginning of it) and deliberate practice and expertise. I am also teaching that in a course I’m just finishing this term. So much is returning back to me in a good way.
It seems like the afternoon is a great time for me to write (pending that there are no meetings) and I really enjoy listening to Bridgerton as I blog. This may not be true as I write academically, but I am enjoying the pace of writing and listening to music at the same time. I find myself as I write that I overthink and want to edit at the same time. I really appreciate practice with my blog as a way to learn on my own. As much as I can get help from others, I need to find what works best for me as well. I appreciate the help though and I am grateful to have people in my life who I can trust and lean on. Having others in life to connect with as critical friends is rare. Cherish them. OK. This will conclude today’s daily blog and I will transition into my academic writing.