Attitude of Gratitude

Bloggies… an attitude of gratitude not only helps perpetuate “more good” but it shifts your perspective or way of thinking to only see “more good.”  I have very much to be thankful for.  I am especially grateful for my family and extended family, friends and colleagues, and all those who share their support and kindness.  Today’s blog entry celebrates WELCOME BACK TO SCHOOL with my Top 10 List of Thank You’s for September 9, 2011. 

10.  It was a beautiful hot sunny day… great weather for learning.
9.  Walked my daughter to school while she rode her bike.
8.  Stayed for the assembly to find out who my daughter’s teacher is.
7.  Chatted with former students, now moms, at the elementary school.
6.  Collaborated with a study-buddy over homemade muffins and coffee.
5.  Talked about Assessment for Learning with a colleague.
4.  Having good friends who are willing to drive me to and from places.
3.  Arrived to my daughter’s school early to walk her back home after school.
2.  Engaged in an intellectual tutoring session with an adult learner.
1.  Ate dinner with my daughter, without the TV on, talking school. 

Make your own list.  Do it daily.  It’s fun, rewarding, and gratifying.  Happy weekend.

SFU EGSA Fall 2011 Seminar Series

What an amazing experience.  First of all, I had no idea was the EGSA Seminar Series was all about.  It is a new phenomena at SFU.  EGSA means “Education Graduate Students Association.”  If you have not figured it out yet (because it took me many months to adhere to this concept), I am a full-time graduate student at SFU.  Not to describe myself with titles, but I’ve been a “secondary mathematics teacher” for such a long time.  To consider myself as something else is new territory.  I am an education grad student.  So there.

Now that I have embraced the idea of full-time graduate studies (along with small edu-jobs on the side), I have committed myself to embark on opportunities a grad student would consider.  For example, I am going to be one of the Site Assistants at SFU (Surrey) helping out the Masters of Education Educational Leadership K-12 Cohort.  Am I stoked?  Yes I am.  Amongst many other things, aside from working on my dissertation, I submitted an abstract to the EGSA Seminar Series.  I had never written an abstract and it was a great vehicle to sort out my thoughts regarding my dissertation.  I mean, why not?

Not expecting much, I just moved on with my studies, life with family, and paddling in the canoe.  Then, I got the news… I not only got the Site Assistant position, my abstract was blind peer-reviewed and accepted, and I got formative feedback from my committee members.  Wow.  A hat-trick of happiness.  Now what?  With feedback, comes revisions… my paper all of a sudden took a shift from the abstract I had submitted.  My mind was in a mix and found preparing for the EGSA Seminar challenging to say the least.  Biggest question:  What am I presenting?  Present what I had, what I will have, or a mix of both?

Response:  The dissertation is a learning process, so why not embed my learning of the dissertation process with some of the content of my thesis disclosing that “things” have changed.  And, so I did.  I treated or attempted to exemplify to my fellow education grad students my struggles of narrowing my question, what’s my literature review is going to look like, the methodology, and the SO WHAT.  That was the toughest part for me to figure out… what’s the point of my dissertation?  What do I want to get out of it?  Very good questions posed by the audience, committee, and myself.  Bottom line: What’s the point?

Then, it came to me… it’s not about the standardized assessments that worry me, per se, but if the claims of student achievement relies on the content knowledge and pedagogical content knowledge of teachers, then what needs to be seriously considered is how do non-mathematics subject specialists teachers learn ‘on-the-job’ to build their expertise as practicing secondary math teachers.  Knowing this, then school districts can offer programs to support the professional learning of these teachers, thus improve the quality of instruction with hopes of positively affecting student achievement in secondary mathematics.

Thanks for letting me sort that out Bloggies and EGSA.  I would highly encourage others, if you’re like me, to engage in activities such as the SFU EGSA Seminar Series to sort out ideas, present them, and get immediate feedback.  Thank you family, friends, colleagues, and classmates for giving me this learning opportunity.  In return, I have included the link to the live feed of the EGSA event.  I’m about 43 minutes into the video footage…
http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/17132778

Bliss

Bliss… that is certainly the theme of the day.  The day begins with a heart to heart with my daughter.  I must admit that this is the best part and the worst part of parenting.  I love my kid to bits and I think she is a good kid.  Sometimes as the parent in the relationship, I have to do some intervention… a learning opportunity for the kid and myself. It was a good chat.  The day proceed with me lugging my commute bag to the school to drop off my kid to start her day off.  She was riding her bike to school.  The nice part was when we lost sight of each other and she encircled the neighborhood to fnd me.  Now that’s LOVE.

After successfully dropping off my kid to school and having a pleasant conversation with a colleague, I caught the bus to start my journey towards the Lower Mainland.  My favorite bus driver picked me up from the bus stop kiddie corner from my kid’s school to bring me to downtown Sechelt.  Then off to the next bus where I saw a couple of girls who are associated with my husband’s workplace.  It’s always a good feeling to see familiar faces.  Saying hello to people on my travels through the Sunshine Coast is a friendly reminder m connectedness to the community.

The bus stops and drops me off to my first destination of the day… BLISS. This is a relatively new coffee shop in Gibsons. I’ve only heard good things about the place, especially the quality of the coffee.  Like most people, I like food and a good cup of coffee.  I would like to consider myself a small town, low budget FOODIE. I ordered the scrambled eggs breakfast with a cup of dark roast. All I can say is YUM.  I sat out side enjoying my yummy food click clacking on my computer.  Is this the Life?  Yes it is, but the best part of this blissful experience is being in good company with friends.  A few of my paddling buddies from Gibsons joined me for coffee. Now, that’s living the life.

Soon enough, it was time to part ways.  Loved seeing my good friends from paddling (and Banjo, the cutest puppy ever) and managed to scoop a ride to the ferry.  My travels continue.  I spent most of the ferry trip working on my SFU EGSA presentation with a little powder on break to freshen up.  Onto the 257 bus with a seemless transition leads me up to very moment of remote blogging on the bus.  This is true Bliss.

The Tipping Point

TRUST and ALLOW has been my new mantra for the last short while.  Often I seem to bounce from idea to idea without letting something stew and grow into it’s fullest potential.

This is like Malcolm Gladwell’s, THE TIPPING POINT, where unsuspecting events escalate exponentially into something unimaginable and wonderful.  Am I approaching a tipping point?

I am beginning to feel this way about my dissertation and my “new” academic/professional adventures.  The momentum is building.  I am getting feedback.  I am driven to write and revise.  I am building my tutoring clientele.  I am taking risks.  I am open to new opportunities.

Today, I just received notice that I got one of the site assistant positions at SFU to work with a Masters of Education cohort at SFU (Surrey) focused on Educational Leadership K-12.  It is a modest beginning but I am 100% stoked about what I am going learn and contribute.

Life is about taking risks and allowing the cards to fall where they should be.  I like the advice I got from my Educ 809 professor who said, “Don’t say no to opportunities, let them say no.”  In the end, if THEY (who ever “they” are) say NO, then nothing changes.  Resume.

If they say yes… accept… trust… allow… Who knows what comes next.  That’s the surprise.

Procrastination

Oh man… who is suffering from procrastination?  I am.  You’d think that it would be due to a lack of interest or a lack of motivation.  I can certainly see one can assume that would be a primary cause for procrastination.  For me, that is not the case.  I could have too many things to do and I’m easily distracted with other things to do (like this blog) as other viable reasons for procrastination.  Unfortunately, my reason for procrastination is FEAR… fear of the unknown and fear of failure.  What a crazy thought… FEAR.  As I begin to jump into new adventures academically, personally, and professionally… I get completely freaked out about what’s to come.  I have lived most of my life in a particular way.  Let’s be honest here… when curling is my sport of choice… I like predictability, strategic outcomes, and teamwork.

In a couple of days I will be presenting at the SFU EGSA (Education Graduate Students Association) Seminar Series.  I need to prep a 20-30 minute presentation for a group of “strangers” that will be broadcasted online.  As much as I am passionate about my topic and I am excited I am about trying something new, I am totally paralyzed by the upcoming event.  I have never presented my academic work publicly and I recently received feedback from my supervisors.  I have shared my doctoral work with acquaintances and I love the fact I got feedback, but I am a little wary about starting off the 2011/2012 seminar series.

I guess all I can do is the best I can, report out my current progress, and make considerations to my thesis after the presentation.  Bottom line, my fear comes from the notion of being judged.  It almost seems like an automatic reaction or embedded conditioning from schooling… perform and get evaluated.  This is very anti-Assessment for Learning.  How ironic.  I know that I am not being evaluated, but an opportunity to share my thoughts to the Faculty of Education academic community.  In turn, I will embrace the EGSA Seminar Series and put myself out there.  I must face my fears and false beliefs… just go for it.

Thank you BLOGGIES for reading and empathizing.  Must go now and prep…

The Canoe

Yesterday, I had the unique opportunity to go paddle with members of the Gibsons Paddle Club who signed up to learn how to steer and skip the canoe.  I feel so fortunate to be invited to participate as an observer and puller.  What was I observing?  I was watching how adults learn.  This was a chance to glean on some ideas that may relate to my dissertation.

OK.  I understand that there are many articles and books that focus on adult learning in addition to many workshops intentionally designed to cater adult learners.  By observing experienced paddlers taking the next step to learn how to skip, I wanted to understand why they were taking the workshop and what they intended to learn from the workshop.

This is what I would call taking the tacit to the explicit.  To take what I do and see and be able to articulate it with a length literature review is my personal challenge that I intend to tackle.  I have engaged in the SFU Instructional Skills Workshop (ISW) as an adult learner, I have presented to Pemberton Secondary as an adult educator, and now I have participated in a steering workshop as an observer.  Three points of view on adult learning, the question is, what do I really want to report on?  This is the underpinning of the research question.

It sounds silly, but I do need to establish a goal or point I wish to obtain with my dissertation.  Although I can report on very interesting and overlapping attributes of adult learning, in general, but how can I relate what I have learned to what I want to research?  This has been my burning question from the start.  My topic is good, my focus could be better.

The canoe has been an awesome learning vehicle for me and my dissertation.  Two years ago, I could not even announce myself as an EdD Candidate until I had participated in Pulling Together.  I was a candidate for more than 7 months.  I could not adhere to the ideas of being an autodidactic learner until I had paddled in 2010.  I could not understand my strengths and weaknesses until I engaged with canoe and my crew members.

Blah, blah, blah… and the story goes on.  There are many lessons to be learned from the Canoe.  I have given only broad generalizations as to how the Canoe benefited my learning… academically, professionally, and personally.  I can only imagine what the Canoe can do to benefit others.  The Canoe is alive and well.  She is a kind spirit always willing to help.

Fermenting

FERMENTING… to make turbulent; excite or agitate.  This is the word of the day.

Do you ever go through your day and someone says something by chance, like a key word or phrase, that resonates with you?  Yesterday, I went to the dentist for a check up.  The classic question that always comes up when I go to the dentist or dental hygienist is, “do you floss?”  Unfortunately, my answer is NO.  I would often encourage the dental practitioners to lecture me on why to floss.  And, so they did.  I’d hear the hygienist’s arguments, pros and cons, but nothing seemed to stick until yesterday.  The dentist said his 2-cents and convinced me to change.  All that he said was, “the bacteria are fermenting between your teeth.”  BLAH.  The floss lecture continued with explaining why gums bleed and how it will alleviate itself within 6 days.  That was reassuring.  Honestly, knowing that something is FERMENTING in my mouth turned me right around.  This morning, I flossed my teeth.

So, why even blog about fermenting?  I am not about to share my personal hygiene habits to the world wide web without having some point to share that is meaningful.  Let’s cross our fingers that what I am about to say is worthwhile… meh, I’m not worried.  It is definitely something to consider.  Lately, I feel fortunate to have the time to sit and ponder my life, my studies, and my way of being.  Yes, this may seem like a midlife situation… and, it is… but, I am beginning to believe that not only are we in control of what we see… I am also convinced that our surroundings or experiences are sending us messages to learn from.

Does this sound creepy?  It does to me.  Yet, it seems to tie in so nicely to what I am experiencing right now.  FERMENTING TEETH… yuck… pooey… do something about it.  Get the information that you need and make a choice.  To floss or not to floss?  That was my question.  And, I made a choice.  I wanted something different for myself.  I am motivated to changed and feel excited about it.  I could have opted not to listen (as I did in previous appointments) or mull over it as a possibility (as I did from previous appointments, once again).  By not enacting, nothing changes.  As a result, I would end up reliving the floss-lecture over and over again at the dentist office until I learned from it… to better myself.

Here’s the lesson… you will be presented with the same things in your life repeatedly until you make the “right” choices in yourself to change what you see.  That is a big lesson I am adhering to and attempting to be attuned to my surroundings so that I can make the “right” choices to move forward.  I am fermenting.  Not just in my mouth, but with my dissertation, my career, and my life.  For example, last night I purchased a life jacket for paddling.  This is a HUGE purchase (or investment) and I wanted to make sure I made the “right” choice.  My head was in a spin last night… is this the right size, right colour, or should I just borrow one from a friend (… again).  This morning, I proceeded with the head spin until I opted to go back to the sports store to try on some other life jackets.  I felt some closure.  I made the “right” purchase and absolutely confident I made the “right” choice.  My head stopped spinning.

So, here is my advice.  If you find yourself self-doubting… or if you find yourself hesitating because you can find a million reasons why “you can’t”… GO FOR IT.  You never know, unless you try (how cliche).  Question your false beliefs.  And, if you screw up… no worries… that just means that it was not the “right” choice and there are an infinite number of other choices to make.  When it feels good… not forced… and surprisingly unexpected… BINGO.  The fermenting process has ceased.  By not enacting, nothing will change and your thoughts will continue to persist.  You have a choice.  Check it out.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

Meant to Be

Do you ever wonder if things happen for a reason?  I do.  I am beginning to wonder if I am in control of what’s happening.  Lately, I’m witnessing events that seem more like intended outcomes and not coincidence.  I am learning how to listen to my intuition and understanding what is authentic.  I have a short-term goals… one being convocation in 2012, the other being 30 lbs lighter.  As for long term goals, I am pretty open to anything that is related to education.  I have a vision, but I’m not sure of the details.  It’s pretty much a guess and check process, but “feels good” is the right direction, vice versa.

Let’s take today as a snapshot.  Depending on your frame of mind, it could be perceived as “good news” or “bad news.”  As far as I am concerned, it’s all good news.  Good things come is three.  First, I received an email from my senior supervisor acknowledging my biweekly update email.  This is great news.  Second, I found out I have a cavity. Initially, the dentist did not find anything, but we updated my X-rays and, by chance, he found one.  This was apparently lucky.  Finally, I found out today that I did not get the position I interviewed for a few days ago.  I could have been upset, but I wasn’t.  Instead, I feel excited about what’s to come.  I look forward to working on my dissertation, being a part of my daughter’s school experience, and being open to other educational opportunities.  What I learned is that my resume and cover letter are worthy of an interview AND my interview conveyed what I wanted: I am energetic, enthusiastic, and care deeply for student learning.  The best thing is that I used the interview experience as part of my Assessment for Learning presentation.  I believe that I was meant to interview to gain a deeper understanding of what I am presenting.

I guess this could be considered as REFRAMING… but I’m thinking that it was meant to be.  Regardless of what has happened, I have something to learn.  I am learning.  I can obsess about not having the time to food shop or clean the house today.  Instead, I choose to celebrate the fact I got a hair appointment for tomorrow and have the opportunity to write in my blog to express myself.  Let’s take it a step further, my feet are cold right now as I lie here on the couch… but I think it’s time for a hot bath after I blog.  In the end, it’s all good.

AFL at Pemberton Secondary

What a day… I am so thankful to have friends in Squamish to spend the night before heading off to Pemberton, BC.  My good friend made me a latte and presented me with a slice of banana bread with Nutella before I headed north.  I did not realize that it would take me more than an hour to arrive at Pemberton Secondary… and what a beautiful school.  The surroundings are quite spectacular too.  Nonetheless, I made it to the school on time (surprisingly) and immediately felt at home.  What a friendly bunch considering the teaching staff and administrators are engaging in professional development before school starts.

This Assessment for Learning (AFL) workshop was special to me for several reasons.  First, this will be my third time returning back to the School District No.48 (Sea-to-Sky) talking about assessment.  You’d think that these people would get bored with me.  Apparently, only 2 of 20 had seen me before at the District Professional Development day at Don Ross Secondary.  Whew.  I didn’t want to sound like the same old, same old.  Second, I got the opportunity to apply what I had learned from the Instructional Skills Workshop (ISW) at SFU.  I spent a significant amount of time focusing on the learning outcomes, changing my powerpoint, and how I could include active learning into the 3-hour session.  I was also curious how I would do.  This wasn’t practice teaching time anymore.  Third, I had one learning outcome to achieve… to finish my presentation on time.  I’ve done about a half dozen workshops and only one of them finished on-time.  I needed some closure.

The results… the workshop was PHENOMENAL.  I had a great time.  People were engaged.  They asked good questions.  They were honest and genuinely curious.  I got group discussion, small group discussion, and excellent FORMATIVE feedback throughout my presentation.  I had so much fun implementing what I had learned from ISW.  I used a stop watch.  I had clear learning objectives.  I used my own personal experiences as “the hook” at the beginning of the workshop, during group discussion, and as my closing remarks.  If anything, I think I got them thinking about their assessment practices, how it reflects on their course outlines, and opportunities to question current practices that may hinder Assessment for Learning practices.  Bottom line, WAY TOO COOL to see collegial dialogue in action.  LOVED IT.  To top it off, they gave me a parting gift and lunch.

What an amazing experience.  Teachers and administrators pulled me aside to ask specific questions about their practice and how they could include AFL to improve student learning.  It was awesome to be a part of their problem solving process and I truly feel that the Pemberton Secondary teaching staff is on their way to implementing AFL as it was intended.  Very inspirational.  Furthermore, I mixed and mingled with the Pemberton staff during lunch to be unexpectedly flowered with more FORMATIVE FEEDBACK.  I was ENGAGING… KNOWLEDGEABLE… and GROUNDED.  Wow.  Could I ask for anything more?  Oh yes, my contact person offered to read parts of my dissertation work and give me feedback.  It’s all happening at once and it feels good.  A peer reviewer… she’s signed up and ready to go. 

Along with a fantastic drive to and from Pemberton on the Sea-to-Sky highway, visiting with old friends in Squamish (and much enjoyed reconnecting with them on the way back home), and returning back to SD48 (Sea-to-Sky) to talk about Assessment for Learning… I had a wonderful time at Pemberton Secondary.  It is a beautiful area, filled with beautiful people.  I am very fortunate to be a part of your pedagogical journey.  THANK YOU.

FYI.  I will be returning to SD48 (Sea-to-Sky) on November 4th to present at the District Professional Development Day in Whistler, BC.  Looking forward.

Thank Goodness for Friends

Often I get inspired to write about something I just experienced or witnessed that was unique or noteworthy.  Sometimes I go with my intuition.  When I start writing and there is “no flow,” I know immediately that it is not the right topic.  Today, I was busy prepping for the workshop in Pemberton, making travel arrangements, and plans for my family during my absence.

I started to write in the blog several times today, but got stumped.  Quarter after midnight, it dawned on me… I needed to write about my friends.  Please make note, I am extending my definition of “friends” to not only my friends, but also to my family, acquaintances, and people who I will meet along the way.  I meet the right people at the right times and I am grateful.

My friends always pull through for me and it’s AMAZING.  Just today alone… one friend interviewed me for my research project; another friend picked up my yearbook; another friend offered to babysit my kid; another friend picked up supplies for my workshop tomorrow; another friend problem solved my travel arrangements; another friend booked a tutoring time; another friend gave me an opportunity to speak at the university; another friend allowed me to stay in her home overnight; another friend made me a latte; another friend served me dinner; another friend helped arrange the small details for the workshop tomorrow… hello?  Was this a long list of AWESOMENESS?  I am so lucky to have so many awesome friends.

This lengthy list is only acknowledging what happened today… and I can already think of a few more friends who helped me out… like one friend who is helping me organize; another friend who listened to my story; another friend with children who played with my kid; and, another friend who complimented my kid at the store by saying, “She is a nice girl.” 

Honestly, if I continue to brainstorm, I bet I could think of a half a dozen more wonderful things about my friends.  Thank goodness for friends.  I am so fortunate to have so many people in my life who are generous, caring, and willing to lend a helping hand.  I hope that all of you Bloggies (aka. friends) can think of as many friends who make your day a little better just because they are your friends.  Not to get all sappy and cry… but THANK YOU everyone.