Christine Ho Younghusband

Assessment AS Learning

I wonder about “Assessment as Learning” where one engages in self-reflection to self-assess one’s achievement, progress, or place of being. Reflection is an integral part of my practice, yet I find myself moving along lately without much consciousness. It’s mid-August and the summer is almost over. So, here I sit… blogging… to identify what is going well, what needs improvement, and what I need to do for my next steps.

How do we know when we are really looking at ourselves with an authentic lens? Our sense of self can easily be distorted by denial, avoidance, and insecurity. I am reading a couple of books… Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection and Parker Palmer’s The Courage to Teach. Both books tap into the inner self and talk about fear, shame, and authenticity. I look at myself and I am called to question… Am I on the “right” path?

Why am I doing what I am doing? My purpose is to find ways to enhance the students’ learning experience. I achieved this as a high school mathematics teacher when I taught in public schools, but also I am achieving my purpose with my research, school trusteeship, curriculum development, and teaching teachers. I love everything that I have learned and experienced since leaving public schools but wonder what’s next.

My sister would say, “What’s your goal?” I could never answer this. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t know or don’t want to commit. For about 10 years, I held onto a “vision” with hopes of achieving it. My vision seemed like a dream that would be difficult to attain. However, I realized that I have achieved my vision multiple times. This would explain I feel like I lost sight of where I am and where I am going.

Solace. It’s time to reimagine my next vision or goal. Much like my last vision, I don’t have specific details as to how the vision will exactly unfold, but I do have a clear picture in my mind as to what I would like to see, live, and experience. I am in the field of education and I continue to fulfill my purpose. My ‘new’ vision seems unattainable, much like the last one, but I know it will happen if I believe it can happen.

Lately, I’ve been numbing myself from my own achievements and successes. I was feeling disconnected. Shame and fear were holding me back. It’s time to embrace my new vision. On reflection, many things have gone well this summer such as facilitating workshops, presenting at a conference, and becoming a sessional instructor. What needs improvement is believing in myself and following through. I need to reignite my light again. I will commit to reading, writing, teaching, and my research.

Wow… I had no idea where this blog entry was heading, now here I am. I understand my place of being and what my next steps are. I have a new vision and I trust that with each step I am heading towards this new vision. I will continue to have a voice in education as an educator, school trustee, and mom. I will continue to be vulnerable, learn, and accept feedback. The goal is to become a better person than I was.

Students’ Voices at CSBA

The closing keynote address at CSBA 2016 was a student performance titled, “Students’ Voices.” It was a performance written and designed by Grade 10-12 students from Lord Selkirk Regional Comprehensive Secondary School. The students defined what “Courageous Leadership” means to them with quotes, dance, and short skits. The performance was outstanding. I was so moved by what the students had to say. Everything that they wanted and hope for was what I want and hope for my daughter, the students I serve, and myself. I was holding back the tears throughout the performance. Thank you to the students of Lord Selkirk and thank you to the teacher who encourages these students to create and express themselves.

I love the message of the Students’ Voices performance. You have to believe in yourself, like yourself, and empower yourself. I was struck by this as three questions to self. Do you believe in yourself? Do you like yourself? Do you empower yourself? These are not easy questions to answer. My knee-jerk response would be NO times three. With a sincere self-assessment, the answers are “yes” (lower case, italicized). It’s a learning process. I’m in my mid-40’s, still challenged by my pedagogical journey. When I left teaching more than 5 years ago, I did not realize that I was still teaching. My role or title may have changed but I continue to teach. Presenting at CSBA 2016 was a good example of this. Teaching comes in different forms. The power is in me.

I learn so much from students. I am a huge supporter and advocate for STUDENT VOICE. I am proud that my school district has a student trustee. SD46 (Sunshine Coast) have updated our policies to include a student trustee. Although the student trustee does not vote, nor does he or she participate in the closed meetings, having the student perspective at the table influences how I act as a school trustee. We are one of two school districts out of 60 in BC that have a student trustee. Student voice was mentioned during my presentation as an “information source” school trustees from across Canada would like to see more of. In the upcoming school year, our board has changed the SD46 Education Committee time to 3:30pm to include students and student trustee. I cannot wait for these meetings. I chair the SD46 Education Committee and STUDENT VOICE will contribute to our discussions.

CSBA Congress 2016

Mmm… it feels so good to land. There has been much on the go lately that it has been almost a month since my last blog post. My last blog post was the speech I delivered on behalf of the SD46 (Sunshine Coast) Board of Education at Elphinstone Secondary. Since then, I have prepared for and facilitated two summer institute workshops on BC’s New Curriculum at St. Marks College at UBC and in between I travelled to Winnipeg, MB to present the findings of a research study I am working on with Dr. Daniel Laitsch about BC school trustees at the Canadian School Boards Association (CSBA) Congress. I have regrettably taken a break from my dissertation for the last few weeks and I am so glad to be back at the keyboard to reflect, write, and learn.

I am likely to write a few short blog entries on CSBA 2016, so look forward to them. There is so much to write and reflect about the CSBA congress. One blog entry would be about all the great people I’ve met and their lived experiences as school trustees in their provinces. Another blog entry would be about student voice and how powerful the student performances were that moved me in such a way that almost brought me to tears. This blog entry is about the presentation I prepared for and facilitated at the conference titled, “School Trustee Information Sources and Research.”

Good on people for coming to my workshop presentation. I had quite a few attendees and I was pleased on how I facilitated it. I could not imagine presenting the research and our findings for 1.25 hours. LISTEN TO ME… is not my mantra. My drive is student engagement. My students in this case were generally school trustees. I had a few BC delegates in the crowd. At this moment, I felt that my three worlds were colliding: educator, researcher, and school trustee. After spending a few minutes introducing the study, the attendees were asked to form small groups. Attendees participated in the study in group discussion. In the end, we compared our findings in group discussion with findings from the study in BC and District of Virginia.

The workshop presentation was engaging. I loved how our group discussion led to similar results from BC school trustees. I enjoyed the discussion of information gathering and the role of research. Best of all, the workshop attendees were actively participating. The small group discussions were lively. We learned a bit more about school trustees from other provinces, the similarities and differences. And, attendees were interested in the results of the study after being immersed in the questions as workshop participants. The 1.25 hours went very quickly and I am glad that those who attended my workshop found the content interesting, relevant, and worthwhile.

I never thought it would be possible to have my three worlds collide… and they did, beautifully. I appreciated all of the compliments and I enjoyed the process of preparing, creating, and presenting the contents of this research study. This experience was rewarding and validating. Thank you to my supervisor/principal investigator of this study for creating this opportunity to research with him as his research assistant and take the unknown step of applying and presenting at CSBA 2016. Thank you to the organizing committee at CSBA 2016 for accepting my application and giving me the space to present. And, thank you to the school trustees who attended my workshop and actively participated. It was a great experience.

Elphinstone Grad 2016

My speech to the Elphinstone Secondary Graduating Class of 2016 (revised) on behalf of the SD46 Board of Education

Good evening parents, guardians, staff, family, friends, and Graduating Class of 2016.

I am proud to be here tonight to share WITH YOU a few words on behalf of School District No.46 (Sunshine Coast) Board of Education.

CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 2016!!!

It’s been 13 years of schooling and here you are…

I cannot believe how fast TIME has flown by. It was not that long ago when you were just 5-years old getting ready your first day of school. Do you remember that??? Who was YOUR first teacher?

Can you remember that very moment when you were about 12 or 13 years old and you were DONE with elementary school?

I remember a time, about 5-years ago… when I WAS TALLER than Chris Norman (your valedictorian). Can you believe that??? I was taller!!!

Now, YOU are mature, young adults… and finished your Grade 12 year.

I had the privilege of working with Wyatt Henley at the board table this school year. He is one of TWO student trustees in the province.

It makes me proud to know that students like Wyatt and District Student Leadership Team represent SD46 students and student voice at the board table. I thank you ALL for your leadership and service.

So, what’s after high school graduation??? Some of you might travel… some might go to work… while others might go back to school.

One thing is for sure… you can say GOODBYE to block rotations, locker combinations, and slushie runs… and say HELLO to your future.

Tonight, I leave you with three of my favourite quotes:

The first quote is from Brene Brown: “Vulnerability is about having the courage to show up and be seen.”

The second quote is from Maya Angelou: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

The third quote is from Steve Jobs: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to TRUST that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

To summarize… Be yourself. Don’t be shy. Don’t second-guess. Just love what you do. You are the learner. There are no mistakes. Try and DO your best. Listen to yourself and your intuition. Don’t over plan or over think. And, take the first step… You never know unless you try.

On behalf of SD46 Board of Education… we honour you… we celebrate you… and, we congratulate you on your accomplishments.

We wish you all the best in your future endeavours.

You make us PROUD!!! 

Thank you.

The Little Things

It is so easy to focus on what went wrong or what needs to be done. Rarely do we take a moment to celebrate the little things. For example, I am absolutely overwhelmed with the amount of editing I am doing on my dissertation. I spent hours with my editor a few days ago discussing what needed to be changed and spent hours last night making revisions. I have underestimated the time it will take to get my work done. I have two more chapters to go. FYI: My dissertation is not a blog. Surprise!!! This seems obvious. I do not want to belittle my progress, but there is soooo much to do. As you can see, this blog has taken a quick spiral into the BLAH.

The brighter side of things… my course outline is posted on the SFU website. This tickles me pink. I also found my headshot as one of the faculty members at Saint Mark’s College. Moreover, I am facilitating summer institute workshops on BC’s New Curriculum at St. Mark’s College in July and with the Central Okanagan Teachers Association in August. Hmm… come to think of it… I am also presenting at the Canadian School Boards Association Congress in Winnipeg in a couple of weeks on a study that I am the research assistant of at SFU. Wow!!! That took a bit of effort to reflect and synthesize, but it’s the little things that matter. I am proud of my work.

Tonight, I am delivering a short speech to the graduating class of Elphinstone Secondary on behalf of the school board. It’s about HOPE. It’s about DREAMS. It’s about following your PASSION. To accomplish this, sometimes you have to take RISKS, question the STATUS QUO, and delve into the UNKNOWN to realize what’s really important to you. It’s a bumpy ride. Focus on the little things. They’ll guide you.

Reconnecting

“We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” – Brene Brown

I was scrolling through pictures of myself on Facebook to find a photo when I felt like my “best self.” Here is one picture (I think). Look how young my daughter is. She was four years old, I was teaching at the high school, and I was at my ideal weight. Love the colour pink, and still do.

Of course… at 40-years old… I created a disruption. My daughter was 7 years old, I quit teaching, and I was not at my ideal weight. Not to rehash the past, but I was misaligned. I was not well, mentally and physically. I loved my job and students, but something had to change. I broke free and embarked on my pedagogical journey.

Teaching is a vulnerable occupation. I was reminded of this when I had a special opportunity to teach at SFU for one class. I wrote about this learning experience in my last blog entry, Identity and Integrity. I realized that teaching was what I was meant to do. I love teaching and learning. My purpose is finding ways to improve student learning and student success. I have done this as a teacher, school trustee, curriculum developer, workshop facilitator, math tutor, and parent volunteer.

This week, I have turned a corner. I am waking up. I am not sure what happened or is happening. My daughter is 13-years old (her last day of Grade 7 is today!!!), I will be teaching at SFU in the fall, and I am at my heaviest weight. Something is so right… and something is so wrong. I am awakened. I am meant to teach. I am a role model for my daughter. I am disconnected with myself. Something has to change… again.

Brene Brown’s quote resonates with me. Numbing. I would not change the last five years of my life. I have met some incredible people, and I have many mentors. I experienced things I would not have experienced had I stayed in the classroom. I continue to work on my dissertation (hopefully ending soon), and I am learning a tonne about myself, my learning, and my research. I have much to be grateful for, and I am. I can only imagine how I would feel if I was not numbing my emotions.

I cannot hide anymore. I am protecting myself from the pain and I am unable to fully experience the joy in my life to maximize my potential. I have to let go of my false beliefs, my stories, and my fear of judgement. I am done with pretending, procrastinating, and preventing. It’s time to jump in and accept the consequences. This is about Identity and Integrity… The Courage to Teach… the courage to be me.

Identity and Integrity

After reading Chapter 1 of The Courage to Teach, the two words of “identity” and “integrity” repeatedly swirled in my brain for hours during my sleep. Why was this so important? I was preparing for a class I was going to teach at SFU. It was Education 471. Dr. Michelle Nilson asked me if I would be interested. I’ve never taught at SFU before, why not? I started to over think the lesson plan. It’s challenging to prepare a lesson for a crowd of strangers. It’s much like preparing for a workshop for teachers and nothing like teaching a Math 12 class. I had no context, no relationship with these students, and never subbed for an undergraduate class before.

After getting acquainted with SFU’s Canvas and Michelle’s course outline, I created my PowerPoint presentation. It looks very much like Michelle’s but I used a different template (oh snap). I did not want to disrupt Michelle’s momentum in the class, but I also wanted to make the most of my experience. With much thought and deliberation, I created the PowerPoint presentation that met my satisfaction but I was stuck on one slide… the Mini-Lesson. Was I suppose to WOW these undergrads with a list of citations about curriculum and teaching? I deliberated and thought that I should stay true to myself. I opted to give a few examples from my teaching practice and how it related to the reading and my research. Seemed appropriate.

Driving up to SFU, I had a few more moments to contemplate what and how I was going to teach. I thought about “pretending to be a professor” or “try to teach the class like Michelle.” Both options were misaligned to who I was and what the reading was all about. So once I found my parking spot, I changed one part of that PowerPoint slide to read “My Pedagogical Journey.” This is my story. I did not intend to tell the whole story, but I wanted to make myself vulnerable to the class and try to model what Chapter 1 – Identity and Integrity in Teaching was all about.  I had to be myself.

First of all, the Educ 471 class was awesome. What a receptive group of students. Some are in the Faculty of Education and some are not. Michelle had nicely organized the class in such a short time that the students all knew what groups they were in, who was reporting out, and what was expected of them. For a substitute instructor, this was a DREAM. Second, I loved how the reading indicated that great mentors are not great mentors. There is something about us that made them great mentors. The reading delved into the appropriateness of the inner self in academia. Thus, the class was constructed that way. We delved in. Third, for great teachers to be great, they have to be vulnerable and relatable. They are connected with themselves, with others, and their subject area. Guess what? The same thing goes for the student.

We got to that aha. It opened my eyes in terms of my readiness as a learner. When am I ready to hear things? When am I ready to learn? What was it in me that makes mentors so great? I understand now. Thank you to Michelle’s Educ 471 students who showed me that. I loved listening to their stories and I hope they felt the same way about mine. The students were engaging, wholehearted, and honest. I realized at that moment I was meant to teach. I love teaching. Teaching Educ 471 was a serendipitous moment. I also realized that teaching comes in many forms. It could be in a K-12 classroom, a one-day workshop with teachers, an undergraduate or graduate class, a lecture, a presentation, a speech, a meeting, or in my writing. I am teaching.

Synonymous with teaching is learning. The terms are interchangeable. You cannot do one without the other. I feel that I am learning so much when I teach. Educ 471 was an excellent exemplar of that. When students said, “that teacher changed my trajectory”… “that teacher taught me that dreams are not meant to be dreams”… and “that teacher made me realize that I am creative… I am not alone.” Powerful words from these students. I did the reflection activities with the students as well and realized that great teachers are great because I was vulnerable, ready for change, and needed to be nudged by someone who was willing to do so. This was verified by Educ 471 with their stories. Thank you Educ 471. We shared a common experience.

Looking at the Trees

I am so fortunate to win two FREE tickets to TEDxWestVancouverED. Check out the website. What an incredible line up of speakers who are RETHINKING EDUCATION. I cannot wait to hear how each of them “see the forest beyond the trees.” Right now, I am looking at the trees. There are a lot of trees and I’m stuck.

Yes, I am talking about my dissertation. I am ready to move forward but there is some unfinished business… like COMPLETION. At this point in time, I am working with an editor and waiting for some feedback. I am ready to revisit Chapter 1 (again) and I am reading some articles to substantiate my upcoming revisions.

What’s my PURPOSE? Hmm… It’s been so long, I need to revisit this. I am back to the SO WHAT of my dissertation. Wow. It is obviously a question I am not answering well and it’s an answer that I have been resisting for years. I am so invested in what I am researching, I have spent many hours separating myself from it. Now, I am called to question to answer this fateful question. Who cares? Why does this matter?

I am not sure how this is for others completing their doctorate, but I am not one to assume. The dissertation is digging deep into my psyche and heart to tell a story that I want to share. I struggle between what I want to share and what I think others want me to share. My mission right now is to find literature that support my views.

The writing process has always been a mystery to me. The more I know about it, the more complex it gets. I am never satisfied. I appreciated those who are willing to question and provoke me. Formative feedback is the only way to move forward. What is going well? What needs improvement? How can I get to the next step?

What I am loving the most about engaging in my dissertation are the lessons learned. What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What am I going to do about it? I am not worried about the oral defence. That is my strength. Another strength is data analysis. I enjoyed that process more than I had thought. I am more acquainted with Excel and descriptive statistics. I see the narrative through numbers. Data analysis was my favourite part. My mountain to climb is the academic writing process.

It’s going to happen. I am learning how to write academically so that I can get this dissertation done and move onto the next step. I am not alone on this journey. I will seek help where I can get it. I am so grateful I have good friends, a patient committee, and determined editor to help me out. I will see the forest again.

Expectations

As a parent, it is so easy to raise the bar high for your child with the intention of wanting the best for them. I think about my daughter Zoe. She is almost 13-years old and concluding her grade 7 year at elementary school. In no time, she will transform from a tweenager to TEENAGER and heading into high school in the fall. In preparation for this state of change in my child’s life, my husband and I have been scrolling through thousands of pictures of her so that we can send 4 to one of the parents as we embark on preparing for the Grade 7 School Leaving Ceremony.

Thank goodness for digital. We have so many fun pictures of Zoe from when she was a baby-bub, tumbly-toddler, and testy-tween. There are so many parts of her that has changed and will continue to change. There is so much of her that is the same. I love how we NAG her to do her homework, pick up their dishes and clothes, and take a bath (please). This is a right of passage for all parents… and not my favourite part. We also NAG her to do her best. We realize that she may not be the best volleyball player, the best basketball player, the best mountain biker, the best swimmer, the best softball player, or the best WHATEVER… but look at what she has done!!! She has done way more than me… and easily surpassed my husband and I by the age of 12.

I am so proud of my daughter. It’s not the time to dwell about how many A’s and B’s she got, the wins or losses, or number of ribbons she collects. She continues to try, she has fun with what she is doing, and she is able to put things into perspective. Yes, I still think that she is a tornado whirling around making a mess of my house and loses homework (and clothing) here and there. That’s besides the point. She is always willing to jump in. She is her toughest critic. Personally, I am her biggest fan and advocate. In my eyes, she’s a superstar and I can only hope to be just like her.