Christine Ho Younghusband

BCEdChat Resolution Challenge

Resolution Challenge/Inquiry Question/Professional Goal: To complete my dissertation. I would like to have my draft document done by the Spring of 2016 and complete my oral defence in the Summer of 2016. “I am a writer” is my NEW MANTRA. And truth… 20+ years ago, I would have never imagined it. You cannot surprise yourself unless you try. I never thought that I would make it through my undergrad. I never thought I would get into the Faculty of Education. I never thought I could complete my Master of Education. Well… you can see a pattern. My inquiry is, when we remove the barriers in front of us, what’s possible? It’s anything, really.

Why is this important to me? At first, I started my doctorate to achieve the “good external” that is, change my status, reputation, or occupation… all of the wrong reasons. Now, I am motivated by the “goods internal”… the learning, the challenge, and the wonderful edu-surprises. I love what I have learned about myself, I love the people I have met, and I love my dissertation. I am excited about what’s next.

What do I hope to see or experience as a result of this? I hope to see my dissertation bound and in the SFU Library, convocation, and publication… no pressure. I would also like to have the opportunity to pursue further research, return teaching (in some way), and find other ways to challenge my false beliefs as a learner and teacher. I’ve surprised myself many times during this dissertation journey, not really expecting that I would enjoy data analysis. Who would have thought? I also enjoy the writing process… another surprise to self. I just love nourishing my edu-spirit and soul as a LEARNER. It’s been messy and I’m ready for the next chapter.

What are some resources that can help me? Ask questions and ask for help… ask myself, my supervisor, and my edu-colleagues. I am so grateful to have a supportive people around me. This took me some time to understand, but also be vulnerable to it. Thank you everyone for lending a helping hand and for your unsolicited kindness and support. I love my PLN, my SFU EdD Cohort, and all those in my edu-community. Just ask a question… ask for help. Vulnerability and courage are key to learning.

PS. I have updated and added to my #bcedchat blog on the fly. It was fun and look forward to Sunday, February 28th at 7pm PST for our Resolution Challenge follow-up. 

Purging

Purging our crap away. What a consumeristic way of living… yet it persists. Just unloaded 5 garbage bags of unwanted goods to the thrift store today. Between my daughter and I, we purged our past lives away… well, a good chunk of it in preparation for what’s next. For my daughter, the transformation is pretty obvious. She’s no longer a baby or little girl. She’s a tween and soon to be teenager. The mountain of stuffed animals, waxed crayons, and plastic toys no longer serve their purpose in this girl’s bedroom. Her closet, drawers, and underneath her bed have been completely cleared out. Now, her room looks somewhat pristine with exception to clothes on the floor and make-up bits here and there. My kid is growing up.

As for me, I need to do some growing up as well. Although I am 45, I need to acknowledge that I am (still) in a state of transformation. It would seem ridiculous for my daughter to continue her love and adoration for Dora the Explorer as a young adult as it would be for me to holding on to some of my ‘old ways of being.’ Purging contents from my office became more of a need than a want. As my daughter was purging through her stuff, as well as my husband, and many items that were stored in their space returned my way… my old filing cabinet, binders from my graduate coursework, and various odds ‘n ends. I was running out of room in my office.

Sieving through much of “the crap” in my office, I did not realize what kind of things I was holding on to. I have lots of “Zoe Keepsakes,” like any mom would. I had overhead transparencies and lesson plans from my first year of teaching. Why do these things matter now? I had to question myself. I also held onto some “dark tokens” from my past… my pedagogical past… things that I’m not proud of. Looking at these items were like stabs to the heart to remind me that I am not the “perfect teacher.” When you know better, you’ll do better. I did see many items of joy and happiness, but overwhelmed by those items representing pain. I am not ashamed of these dark tokens, but realize I can let go of them now because I know better.

If anything, this purging process has been a lesson of forgiveness, letting go, and embracing a growth mindset. I could get overwhelmed by stories held by others that may capture or highlight some of my “not so favourable” actions from the past in spite of the fact that some may have fond memories of my teaching practice. It is so easy to dwell on failures and mishaps rather than celebrating the successes. I created what I saw in the classroom. If I was frustrated by the system, I was frustrated with myself in the system. In the end, I was signalling to myself that it was time to leave.

The only person I hold responsible for how things unfolded for me in my pedagogical journey is me… past and present. Currently, my tutoring business is overcapacity with a waitlist, I am teaching teachers about the new curriculum, and I am moving forward with my dissertation with expectations of finishing in 2016. My teaching career has taken a different direction and I am engaged. To get to the next chapter, I have to realize that I am a different person from when I started teaching in 1994 and left public schools in 2010. Yes, many parts of me are the same, I believe that I am a “good teacher,” but my past experiences created the person who I am today.

This photo is a wonderful metaphor. When the trunk is full with clutter, it can weigh you down. You can choose to carry this clutter around with you but you will have no room to incorporate anything new. It’s a choice to unload the clutter to create space to grow, develop, and become a better you. I’m opting for the latter. The trunk has been purged. Goodbye clutter. I hope that you can make other people happy to make new memories, new experiences, or new opportunities. For me, I need to make room for what’s to come. I will no longer shame myself for the mistakes I’ve made. I accept my mistakes. I am learning. I am becoming a better me. I am moving forward.

Mistakes, failure, or “doing something wrong” are learning opportunities… NOT opportunities for self-deprecation, shaming, or blaming. I could spend much of my time pretending and hiding my mistakes from others with hopes of others believing that my life is a straight line. WRONG. This is not sustainable. Unfortunately in this blog, I may be focusing on a handful of “negative things” amongst and million of great and wonderful things, but from today forward I will celebrate my strengths and expertise. I love the people that I get to work with and look forward to others in the future. I love learning and leaning into the discomfort. What I do need to do at all times is surround myself with people who will nourish me, teach me, and love me.

Goodbye junk in my trunk… goodbye boxes of recycling… and goodbye edu-garbage. You do not bring me joy. You have served your purpose and now you must go.

Biggest Impact

You never know when you are going to learn something new, from where or from whom. Last week, we had our Community Futures Board of Directors meeting the other day and we were planning for the new year. First, I would like to note… the new board of directors are exceptional and I appreciated their insight, contribution, and voice at the table. Second, I was struck by the comment… what will make the biggest impact. Yes, there are many things one could do, but what’s worthwhile?

In education, every role in the system has an impact on student learning. For example, I loved teaching secondary mathematics in public schools. I adored the relationships I made with students and making math fun. In my mind, learning math is not meant to achieve credit or graduation, but it’s a form of communication, a tool to learn about your learning, and a means to discover patterns, interconnections, and application. For me, teaching math was an opportunity to learn about their learning, learn about my learning, and learn about learning. I miss that.

Look at this photo. Who doesn’t like students on their knees doing math? I love it. I think that my students loved it too. This photo is from the archives and these former Math 12 students are adults. Whatever they are doing, I wish them all the best and honoured to be a part of their lives. I continue some of these relationships via social media. Just the other day, a former student informed me on Facebook that she used one of my teaching strategies during her practicum. Biggest compliment or what?

Now, I am on a different trajectory in education… I find myself teaching teachers in workshops and coursework, engaged in educational research as a graduate student and research assistant, and involved in school governance as a school trustee, locally and provincially. As much as I miss making a big impact on student learning as a secondary mathematics teacher, I am making a different impact on student learning as a facilitator, researcher, and elected official. Moreover, I am also a mathematics tutor, #bcedchat co-moderator, and Math K-9 curriculum developer.

With all of this (and much more not mentioned), what will make the biggest impact? As the thinking goes, spend your time on a few things and do it well instead of doing a lot of things not as well. I am not exactly sure what’s in my future, but I have enjoyed the ride so far. There are so many ways to be involved in education and have an impact on student learning. Depending on your purpose, skill set, and passion… some methods may be more effective than others. At this point in time, I am moving forward with my educational research. We’ll see how that goes. It has been humbling, enriching, and fear-conquering to say the least. This is the learning process.

Something To Aspire To

I love this image. Dr. Yong Zhao presenting at the BCSTA Academy 2015 in Vancouver. He was the keynote speaker at the conference (aka. edu-superstar) where he had talked about the state of education and the need to shift from a state of “sausage making” to an “entrepreneurial mindset.” Where are the Steve Jobs of the world?

Best of all, he holds a coffee cup doing while inspiring a crowd of school trustees, superintendents, and other executive staff. For me, this is something to aspire to. Yong Zhao is such an engaging speaker. I saw him speak a few years ago at a BCSSA Conference and earlier this year at the BCEd Plan relaunch in January at the Wosk Centre, “Focus on Learning.” I love his message, approach, and research.

Yong Zhao’s message is aligned to the direction and intentions of the new BC curriculum. His passion, willingness to question, and courage to challenge the school system are admirable and honourable. I am aligned to this mindset. Let’s create. Let’s innovate. Let’s focus on our strengths and follow our dreams. As Yong Zhao asks, how can we get our children out of our basement and into the real world?

One has to wonder… What does it mean to pursue your dreams and make a living doing so? I’m still trying to figure that out… and 100% grateful for those who are out there helping me. It’s a crazy journey. We spend so much time in schools “making the same” (aka. sausages). How do we really know what we’re passionate about? Why do we strive to be the same? We even evaluate (or rank) students on how well they have achieved this sameness. This bothers me as an educator, student, and parent.

How can we honour student learning that is personalized? How can we acknowledge the achievement of competencies, not content? These are the BIG IDEAS that school districts from around the province must grapple with. Some teachers and some schools are doing this as we speak. On the other hand, there are many teachers and many schools who are not doing this and struggle with the lack of learning outcomes, recommended learning resources, and prescribed implementation.

This is a HUGE philosophical and pedagogical shift. And in the same hand, this is a HUGE opportunity to embrace professional autonomy, to create an education system that best fits student learning, and to innovate in ways that challenges the status quo of education as COLLECTIVE ACTION. The need or want for change will not be perceived as an outlier, but expected in a culture of learning. This excites me.

Policy Dilemma

I am not sure why I chose this photo for tonight’s blog entry. Maybe I’m tickled pink? Maybe not? Anyway, this is a picture of my kid when she was just a bub. Now, she is a full-fledged tween and has revamped her bedroom recently to reflect that. She did a great job on her room BTW. Never thought it would be possible, but obviously I’ve been proven wrong. I like that.

What’s my blog about tonight? I’ve been wrestling with marking some papers for a course I am teaching and I am struggling with the assessment and evaluation expectations of the course when I am teaching about assessment and evaluation as it relates to the new BC curriculum. I am fascinated with this pedagogical and philosophical struggle I am facing right now as it reminds me of one I had about 10 years ago implementing Assessment for Learning (AFL) in my secondary mathematics classroom. It is different. It is not aligned to current policies and practices. Thus, I am faced with a dilemma. To grade or not to grade?

Back then, I grappled with the notion of NOT writing an interim report for all of my classes. It’s one of our required documents to report out to parents and students. I had nothing. With AFL, it’s about formative assessment practices, not summative. As a result, I had no GRADES accumulated for my classes yet. Nothing. What was I to report out? Make something up? Grade work habits? Give marks while students were in the middle of the learning process? It just didn’t seem right, hence the dilemma. At the time, I was so turned around with AFL. Years before, I would mark everything. So much so that students did not believe I was “on their side.” I was more like the EDU-POLICE, spending my time collecting grades. I did not feel good about that and neither did the students. It’s about relationships and learning. In the end, I opted to send a letter home to parents about AFL and what I was doing in class. Students understood the process as well. Things really transformed for me back then.

So, I blog… still procrastinating the marking of these papers. These individuals have already transformed since the submission of these papers. Their excitement for the new BC curriculum and it’s possibilities have been heightened. Their practice is shifting. These learners are just beginning their transformation and I am absolutely stoked for them. But what about these papers? Will grading them now help them? Can I provide a holistic mark that reflects their understanding and learning as demonstrated in 10 pages or less? This is only a snapshot of where they were… and I wonder if “grades” should be reserved until the end. Maybe I would have felt better about this if they had handed in their papers for formative feedback only. My brain could rest a bit more easier then. It’s these “traditions” that require questioning. Not to be defiant, but what would best serve the student and his or her learning?

I am only thinking out loud with respect to my current work as an educator. The assessment and evaluation process is another form of teaching and learning. Even during the course, it was in my curious making when I asked the students to re-design, re-construct, or re-develop a new evaluation framework for the course that would best fit them in their learning. This was an uncomfortable and difficult question to answer. Responses ranged from YOU DECIDE (as the teacher) to let the STUDENTS DECIDE who are being graded (it’s not our problem). Tough topic… why? It’s deeply connected to our values, beliefs, and pedagogy. Next Sunday I will be co-moderating with @MsSallySong on #bcedchat ASSESSMENT and the New BC Curriculum. It will likely be a heated yet animated Twitter Chat, much like any other assessment and evaluation topic we have hosted before. To review it, question it, or possibly CHANGE IT seems almost deviant, defiant, or disrespectful. I would disagree.

This needs to be questioned. We need to look at ourselves and ask how we are serving students and their learning as we assess and evaluate. Are we helping them grow, learn, and thrive? Or are we managing, belittling, or (shall I say) harming them? What is the purpose of assessment and evaluation? Are we doing it? And, are we doing it well? What needs improvement? What could be done differently? This is where teachers in BC are struggling the most. Other questions like… How do we grade competencies? What will communicating student learning look like? What about provincial assessments? ... are on the forefront of teachers’ minds (generally). We are so deeply embedded in our TRADITIONAL reporting rituals and practices because that’s what we know, which in turn heavily influences how we teach and how students learn. Sigh. I will continue this deliberation and I have papers to mark. I still question, is it 20%, 30%, or 5% of their final mark? Does it really matter? What does that really reflect? And, will it be an A+, A, A-, B+, B, or B-? This is such intuitive work and I wonder if I am accurately “judging” their work with a number or letter.

Love What You Do

I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time; about where I am today… and I look around and wonder (sometimes) if I’m suppose to be somewhere else. I just went to a workshop on “productive workplace conversations” and I was a little spooked. The workshop was not like what I expected, yet I walked away understanding that much of it has to do with me. I’m hearing this message over and over again. It resonates with the idea that “you create what you see.” Now, I’m beginning to understand this. It’s the lens that we see out of that defines what we understand, perceive, and interact with. The same event could be happening for two people, yet interpreted in two different ways. This makes sense to me. My take away from the workshop was the notion of TRIGGERS. I had written some possibilities during the workshop activity, but it wasn’t until we role played that I was TRIGGERED… twice, to my surprise!

I guess I could say I was triggered three times in three different ways, but this is what I need to pay attention to and understand. Originally, I had thought of situations that would make me angry, annoyed, or frustrated. WRONG. My triggers provoked fear, sadness, and anxiety. This would be a problem when trying to achieve a productive conversation in the workplace. Crying, avoidance, or completely being FREAKED OUT are not “productive” emotions to have when dealing with conflict resolution. This was an AHA. Disappointing, but enlightening. Understanding my triggers will help me in my professional work, public service, and the home. In the end, I loved this professional learning and highly recommend it to others. I would not have understood this otherwise and I am thankful. Which makes me think about my past, what brings me here today, and my original reflection… Am I suppose to be here?

Big picture… I’m exactly where I am suppose to be. I would be kidding myself (and you) if I said I didn’t miss the classroom. I do. Today, I understand more than ever the power of being a teacher and the influence we have on children’s lives, mindset, and future. It’s HUGE. I don’t want to underestimate that. However, I do mention in previous blogs about alignment and my learning. This is where I believe that I was suppose to take a different path. I could get jealous or envious of former colleagues and where they are today. In fact, I am grateful and genuinely happy for them. No bad feelings. None. I feel the opposite. The truth is, I just love what I am doing and would not trade the last 5-years to become something else. I have learned more about education in my roles today and know I have much more to learn. This excites me. I love the work that WE all do in education. It’s absolutely incredible and I believe that I would not have this appreciation or gratitude had I not taken this new path.

On some level, I’m trying to validate my decisions. This is my pedagogical journey, yet know that my practice is interrelated and interconnected with everyone else’s. I don’t want to get sappy or lame about these moments of reflection, but I am just honoured to do the work that I do. It’s aligned to who I am and who I want to be. I have a voice. I am engaged. I am creating educational change. What more could I ask for? This is not to say that I am satisfied, nor am I saying that my work is done. I just feel absolutely ____________. Well, there are no words. I love connecting with adult learners at SMC, I love my PLN on Twitter, I love my entrepreneurial work as a tutor and workshop facilitator, I love being a part of curriculum development, I love my role in governance as a school trustee and Board of Directors, and I love my academic work at SFU. In every situation, I AM LEARNING… and I can’t ask for anything more.

Hat-Trick of Change

Instead of a follow-up of several mini-blog entries on “what’s happening,” I have opted for one BIG blog entry to be posted TODAY. I just want to share a few initiatives the BCSTA (BC School Trustees’ Association) has embarked on last month in response to membership to increase communication, professional learning, and sense-making. The initiatives were crammed into a short time period and I missed few professional opportunities to make this happen. It was well worth my time. So, what did we do?

First, we had our FIRST ANNUAL LIAISON MEETING with the Ministry of Education and school boards. Staff from the Ministry and School Board Chairs, Superintendents, and Secretary-Treasurers gathered together in Richmond to learn about and discuss emergent topics in BC Education on October 21st. This session was led by the Ministry of Education. I appreciated that the Deputy Minister Dave Byng and his staff were there to connect with school districts about issues that are pertinent and important to school districts to gather a better understanding of what’s happening in the field, be open to questions from the field to bridge gaps between school boards and government, and work together as we move forward with co-governance.

Second, the BCSTA held a BOARD CHAIRS MEETING on October 22nd for member boards; a session facilitated by the BCSTA. The BCSTA staff and guest speakers did an excellent job orchestrating this professional learning event for board chairs. The room was filled with seasoned board chairs, new board chairs, and board chair designates. Topics included conflict of interest, the BC Auditor General report, and conflict resolution. This was a welcomed opportunity for board chairs to connect, problem-solve, and learn together. Conversations were candid and real; a worthwhile event for BCSTA Board Chairs. I look forward to our next meeting together.

Finally, the BCSTA held an ISSUES FORUM on the last day of BCSTA Provincial Council on October 24th in Vancouver. Some trustees were attending the BCPSEA Symposium, while others were at BCSTA Committee Meetings on the day of October 23rd, the DM Dave Byng presented to the BCSTA Provincial Councillors in the evening with a welcoming and introduction from the new Minister of Education, Hon. Mike Bernier. This evening ends with an opportunity for Provincial Councillors to ask questions, share concerns, or clarify topics or issues with the DM. On the 24th, Provincial Council was dynamic and dialogical in the morning, to be followed up to the Issues Forum after lunch. The topic was BCPSEA. Our BCSTA-BCPSEA Advisory Committee Members attending this event as well as Deborah Stewart and Renzo Del Negro from BCPSEA. It was another worthwhile event for BC School Trustees.

I am only mentioning a few things that BCSTA moved forward with in 2015/2016. We are membership driven. Everything that we do is directed from our membership. In the end, serving our member boards in the best way that we can means serving the students within our school districts in the best way that we can. For more information, check out the BCSTA Board of Directors Strategic Plan for 2015/16.

It takes one step at a time. Change does not happen overnight; and, if we are looking for long-term, sustainable, and meaningful change for our students, then we must work together… strategically and wholeheartedly. This requires time, patience, and willingness to engage. Thank you to all those who took part in these initiatives.