Having Two Minds

Week 132 – September 25, 2022 – Middle of the Night

Can you believe it’s Sunday, but at 1am? This is how I roll. So many things to do and fighting for moments of rest. Although I started this blog post by saying “having two minds”… it might be THREE. I teach. I write. I’m a mom. The latter is a given, so I’m really of two minds with my work. I am learning how to switch gears and figuring out my rhythm for writing. I can see why it’s so important. You lose momentum quickly.

I know that I have set SERVICE to autopilot because committee meetings, for example, just happen. I am also realizing TEACHING does too. What’s going to require effort is RESEARCH. I have a lot write about and have people to learn from and work with. That’s happening too. I just need to find ways to get writing. I’m also striving for REST. I want so many things and I do prioritize students (as best I can). I also like to bead.

This weekend, I am meeting with my students as they approach practicum that starts on Monday. I want to make sure they are ready and start practicum with a plan. They seem to be on the right track and I have a few more to chat with tomorrow. I am also meeting someone I am writing with (and will have to finish some writing after this blog post for Sunday afternoon) and I have some other work to do on another project.

I am co-moderating #bcedchat Sunday night and voila… I need to prep for Monday’s classes in addition to other writing I have promised to do. Sigh. I love the idea that I’m not lacking content, but I am lacking time. I do like being a mom on the weekend. My kid has also taken the weekend off from work, so it’s also time to spend together. I do find myself on my phone playing solitaire or listening to a podcast. I see that as rest.

Anyway, I am not complaining, but I am figuring it out. I always find some solace in my blog to write, to think, and to digest. I love landing my thinking here and reflect on what is good and what I need to do differently. I love my classes and I am loving the people I am writing with right now. I feel very lucky. I am losing grips on some details, which frustrates me, but I am making time for things like beading. It’s good.

Maybe I don’t have two minds, but I am managing my time to do three different things at work and I am paid for two. Research is something I have feared but really I have set unrealistic expectations on myself and made something bigger than it is. I can situate where I am in the continuum and embrace what I am learning so that over time my expertise and career grows over time. I get this. I just need patience.