Turning Point
It’s hard to define what will be a turning point. For the longest time, I thought it would be my dissertation that would be a “significant” turning point… and it was, but not in the way that I had expected. Well, I didn’t know what to expect. Once I was able to LET GO of my expectations, I was able to think and write about my research in a wholehearted way. I loved that I could answer my research question and I loved that the results and my recommendations were not what I had expected. That’s exciting to me. Best of all, the recommendations are doable and research based. I guess the turning point for me with my dissertation is that I realized that I can write and do research. I also learned that I LOVE data analysis. I like it more than I should. I love finding patterns to make meaning.
What didn’t happen with my PhD was walking into a job. I’m not even sure what job that would be, but I thought that getting my PhD would open some doors to job opportunities. Don’t get me wrong. I have opened some doors with my degree. I am doing post-doctoral research that is closely connected to practice. This excites me. Although I did not walk away with a professorship… yet… I have much to do to get there, like publishing some papers and figuring out what’s possible to connect research and practice with policy. I am very interested in this… but there is no “job title” per se that would best capture this. Once again, I am set off on a trajectory towards something that does not have a known destination. This is not “cool” with A-types, so I’ve learned from my sister. Boxes are not being checked off. Quotas are not being met. I am pursing a VISION… a concept.
As I write, not being an A-type was verified by a workshop I took at SFU. It was an evening session downtown Vancouver where we used reflection, checklists (ironically), and visioning to figure out which direction we should take with our career. The workshop started off by asking… “What was the WORSE job you’ve ever done?” We had to imagine it… either go back in time or make something up that we would not like to do. This was an interesting start to the 3-hour workshop, but what I disliked was very clear to me. I hated being a receptionist. We had to write down what we disliked about this job in terms of place, people, type of work, etc. and why, and then we had to share these thoughts with two other people in the room. Afterwards, we reflected on the activity.
It was brilliant. I never done a career exploration activity that started with what I hate to do. Normally, we would focus on strengths, dispositions, or interests. Although this would be helpful and I did so last week at another SFU workshop on campus, imaging a job we disliked CLEARLY identifies aspects of work I do not prefer and rather not do. I had an epiphany and realized that I was striving for a job that was very similar to the attributes of being a receptionist. A HUGE AWAKENING. I had no idea. I was trapped in a way of thinking I could not see my way out of. It is not in my alignment. Now I know… I am NOT an A-TYPE. The workshop proceeded with us figuring out our 5 core values and areas of interest/perceived strength. This was telling as well. I felt good about the 5 core values I identified and realized that I am on the right track… and never knew. So crazy!!!
Finally, this workshop concludes with us imagining what our DREAM JOB is. Wow. The facilitator walked us through this process. I was so glad to do this because I had fulfilled my lifelong vision not too long ago. As mentioned in previous blogs, I have fulfilled my dreams that I thought would not be possible. My INBETWEENIDNESS is because I have no VISION to strive for. During this final exercise, I could see myself moving through my work day and loving every minute of it. All of my core values were in place and I was fulfilling my purpose and passion. What a great place to be. Of course, I’m not going to describe my new vision. I’d hate to spoil it or be disappointed. What I know for sure is, I have a NEW vision, which is my NEW goal and I am super excited to pursue it.