So What?

What do I really care about?  This is the BIG QUESTION.  I’m not being existential, but I’m contemplating what’s the SO WHAT to my dissertation.  I lost focus and may have stepped away from my project for a bit too long.  Now, I am given the opportunity to redefine what I want to research.  This is scary.  It’s almost feels like where I was two years ago, faced with the same question.  I think that I have found myself in the dissertation trap… I want to ‘save the world’ with one research project.  A bit too ambitious and unrealistic.  This is a bit of a reality check.  At this point in time, I am open to reconsidering my proposal but I am not sure what I truly care about.  I care about K-12 mathematics education… I care about quality teaching… I care about student success.  So… what’s the SO WHAT?

I hate that mathematics is always the subject that people feel OK about to ‘dis’ in conversation.  It seems culturally OK to say, “I hate math.” It’s a mantra that resonates with many and I hate that.  It almost seems everywhere I am… watching television, on a school trustee tour, or shopping in a women’s clothing store… when the topic of mathematics comes up, people will often say (1) I was never good at mathematics. Or, (2) Wouldn’t you rather do this than go to math class?  Ugh.  I don’t feel that way.  In fact, I think math is fun.  I wonder why kids or people in general hate mathematics so much.  When I started my doctorate program I was always curious of people’s math stories and what traumatized them in such a way that they carry such strong negative beliefs about mathematics.

It is clear to me that I will be writing about mathematics education.  Kids are important to me and their sense of self-efficacy to achieve in mathematics.  I am also interested in professional development and quality of teaching.  I hope to form my research question soon so that my literature review and methodology can be determined.  Thank you for reading my blog.  It’s been a good way to sort out my ideas before I commit to a ‘new’ dissertation question that is meaningful, doable, and succinct.