People Need Structure
Day 25 (of 187) – October 9, 2018
Monday was Canadian Thanksgiving… so no daily blog of learning for me this weekend or Monday. Tuesday came by and went… and here I am (again) reflecting on the last couple of days in two separate blogs. What am I getting at? PEOPLE NEED STRUCTURE. Hindsight… maybe I should have made this a “daily blog”… but I do appreciate the break from writing and reflecting too. On the contrary, I used to blog when I felt inspired too. That led to much online irregularity and reflection. So my question is, TO WHAT END?
I love looking at my dog, Sally… and receiving daily pics of her from my husband. It somehow makes me feel like I’m at home on the Coast while I’m living in Prince George. Look at how awesome this photo is. My dog, in the forest, connected with nature. But if you notice… she’s on her leash. STRUCTURE. What I like about this leash is that it retracts. It gives Sally enough freedom to choose to walk close to us or forge forward to explore, sniff, and chase. That said, there’s a limit. The leash is not infinite in length.
Whether it be parenting, teaching, or LIFE… we all need a bit of structure, predictability, and limitations. Horribly though, I’m a FREEDOM girl… meaning, I can function within a framework, but if it gets too tight, too limiting, or too prescriptive… it’s not for me. I am hyper-aware that people also need some freedom and CHOICE… but to what end? The goal is to find the sweet spot of compromise, reasonability, and adaptability. That can be challenging at times, particularly if we get too stuck in our habits, routines, or traditions.
Comfort is a good feeling… meaning, it provides some solace in times of chaos. For example, It was reassuring to me for my dad to remind me and my siblings that today was my parent’s wedding anniversary. I miss my mom deeply. It’s only been almost 8 months and this was their first anniversary that they did not celebrate together. My dad bought her NEW FLOWERS for her resting place. They are beautiful. My mom would have loved them. And, my dad got good news from the eye doctor and thanked my mom for this anniversary gift. This heartened me… knowing that my mom provides us structure.
Change is not easy. It’s not suppose to be. As much as I realize that my mom was the centre of our family network… and I have such a high regard for her ability to keep us together and connected, my family is in the midst of re-establishing ourselves and trying to find a NEW STRUCTURE as a way of being. Things are not the same, but I am hopeful that we will find our new norm… our new structure. In the meantime, I will embrace the MESSINESS OF CHANGE and know that we will reconnect and land on our feet again.