Love What You Do

I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time; about where I am today… and I look around and wonder (sometimes) if I’m suppose to be somewhere else. I just went to a workshop on “productive workplace conversations” and I was a little spooked. The workshop was not like what I expected, yet I walked away understanding that much of it has to do with me. I’m hearing this message over and over again. It resonates with the idea that “you create what you see.” Now, I’m beginning to understand this. It’s the lens that we see out of that defines what we understand, perceive, and interact with. The same event could be happening for two people, yet interpreted in two different ways. This makes sense to me. My take away from the workshop was the notion of TRIGGERS. I had written some possibilities during the workshop activity, but it wasn’t until we role played that I was TRIGGERED… twice, to my surprise!

I guess I could say I was triggered three times in three different ways, but this is what I need to pay attention to and understand. Originally, I had thought of situations that would make me angry, annoyed, or frustrated. WRONG. My triggers provoked fear, sadness, and anxiety. This would be a problem when trying to achieve a productive conversation in the workplace. Crying, avoidance, or completely being FREAKED OUT are not “productive” emotions to have when dealing with conflict resolution. This was an AHA. Disappointing, but enlightening. Understanding my triggers will help me in my professional work, public service, and the home. In the end, I loved this professional learning and highly recommend it to others. I would not have understood this otherwise and I am thankful. Which makes me think about my past, what brings me here today, and my original reflection… Am I suppose to be here?

Big picture… I’m exactly where I am suppose to be. I would be kidding myself (and you) if I said I didn’t miss the classroom. I do. Today, I understand more than ever the power of being a teacher and the influence we have on children’s lives, mindset, and future. It’s HUGE. I don’t want to underestimate that. However, I do mention in previous blogs about alignment and my learning. This is where I believe that I was suppose to take a different path. I could get jealous or envious of former colleagues and where they are today. In fact, I am grateful and genuinely happy for them. No bad feelings. None. I feel the opposite. The truth is, I just love what I am doing and would not trade the last 5-years to become something else. I have learned more about education in my roles today and know I have much more to learn. This excites me. I love the work that WE all do in education. It’s absolutely incredible and I believe that I would not have this appreciation or gratitude had I not taken this new path.

On some level, I’m trying to validate my decisions. This is my pedagogical journey, yet know that my practice is interrelated and interconnected with everyone else’s. I don’t want to get sappy or lame about these moments of reflection, but I am just honoured to do the work that I do. It’s aligned to who I am and who I want to be. I have a voice. I am engaged. I am creating educational change. What more could I ask for? This is not to say that I am satisfied, nor am I saying that my work is done. I just feel absolutely ____________. Well, there are no words. I love connecting with adult learners at SMC, I love my PLN on Twitter, I love my entrepreneurial work as a tutor and workshop facilitator, I love being a part of curriculum development, I love my role in governance as a school trustee and Board of Directors, and I love my academic work at SFU. In every situation, I AM LEARNING… and I can’t ask for anything more.