Identity and Integrity

After reading Chapter 1 of The Courage to Teach, the two words of “identity” and “integrity” repeatedly swirled in my brain for hours during my sleep. Why was this so important? I was preparing for a class I was going to teach at SFU. It was Education 471. Dr. Michelle Nilson asked me if I would be interested. I’ve never taught at SFU before, why not? I started to over think the lesson plan. It’s challenging to prepare a lesson for a crowd of strangers. It’s much like preparing for a workshop for teachers and nothing like teaching a Math 12 class. I had no context, no relationship with these students, and never subbed for an undergraduate class before.

After getting acquainted with SFU’s Canvas and Michelle’s course outline, I created my PowerPoint presentation. It looks very much like Michelle’s but I used a different template (oh snap). I did not want to disrupt Michelle’s momentum in the class, but I also wanted to make the most of my experience. With much thought and deliberation, I created the PowerPoint presentation that met my satisfaction but I was stuck on one slide… the Mini-Lesson. Was I suppose to WOW these undergrads with a list of citations about curriculum and teaching? I deliberated and thought that I should stay true to myself. I opted to give a few examples from my teaching practice and how it related to the reading and my research. Seemed appropriate.

Driving up to SFU, I had a few more moments to contemplate what and how I was going to teach. I thought about “pretending to be a professor” or “try to teach the class like Michelle.” Both options were misaligned to who I was and what the reading was all about. So once I found my parking spot, I changed one part of that PowerPoint slide to read “My Pedagogical Journey.” This is my story. I did not intend to tell the whole story, but I wanted to make myself vulnerable to the class and try to model what Chapter 1 – Identity and Integrity in Teaching was all about.  I had to be myself.

First of all, the Educ 471 class was awesome. What a receptive group of students. Some are in the Faculty of Education and some are not. Michelle had nicely organized the class in such a short time that the students all knew what groups they were in, who was reporting out, and what was expected of them. For a substitute instructor, this was a DREAM. Second, I loved how the reading indicated that great mentors are not great mentors. There is something about us that made them great mentors. The reading delved into the appropriateness of the inner self in academia. Thus, the class was constructed that way. We delved in. Third, for great teachers to be great, they have to be vulnerable and relatable. They are connected with themselves, with others, and their subject area. Guess what? The same thing goes for the student.

We got to that aha. It opened my eyes in terms of my readiness as a learner. When am I ready to hear things? When am I ready to learn? What was it in me that makes mentors so great? I understand now. Thank you to Michelle’s Educ 471 students who showed me that. I loved listening to their stories and I hope they felt the same way about mine. The students were engaging, wholehearted, and honest. I realized at that moment I was meant to teach. I love teaching. Teaching Educ 471 was a serendipitous moment. I also realized that teaching comes in many forms. It could be in a K-12 classroom, a one-day workshop with teachers, an undergraduate or graduate class, a lecture, a presentation, a speech, a meeting, or in my writing. I am teaching.

Synonymous with teaching is learning. The terms are interchangeable. You cannot do one without the other. I feel that I am learning so much when I teach. Educ 471 was an excellent exemplar of that. When students said, “that teacher changed my trajectory”… “that teacher taught me that dreams are not meant to be dreams”… and “that teacher made me realize that I am creative… I am not alone.” Powerful words from these students. I did the reflection activities with the students as well and realized that great teachers are great because I was vulnerable, ready for change, and needed to be nudged by someone who was willing to do so. This was verified by Educ 471 with their stories. Thank you Educ 471. We shared a common experience.