Deep Sadness

Yes… another stock photo from the “YH Archives.” I’m sure that my former students (who are adults now) will enjoy and appreciate this immensely. You’re welcome!!!

Of course it’s January 11th and I’m posting a blog on DEEP SADNESS. This is ironic when my one-word for 2017 is JOY. When I left teaching in public schools six years ago, I would cry spontaneously looking at old photos of my former students. Admittedly, it was a strange to me. I did not expect to cry while scrolling through my Facebook photos or my photo library. But, I did… and for quite some time.

Since leaving the classroom, I’ve been on a pedagogical journey to find my purpose. I’ve continued to work with students privately but also facilitate teacher professional development workshops. I was also involved with curriculum development, sessional instruction, and school trusteeship. I am clearer than ever about my purpose and passion, and now I’m in the midst of figuring out how to best implement it.

I am heartened by what I am hearing from those around me. My husband makes jokes about me saving the world and why does my passion have to be my work and not a hobby. My friend the other day inferred that I am clear about my purpose, thus it is easy to move forward because I know my why (but this took years to figure out). And, the people I work with remind me that what I do is meaningful.

Yet today… I felt like I was going to cry again (almost did). I feel great pain when we are not serving students in the best way that best serves student learning. I hear plenty of messages, the good and not so good, as a school trustee, teacher educator, and math tutor. All I can say is, the chapter is changing. My dissertation is almost complete and deep sadness is a sign. It’s time. It’s time to serve and empower.