Jump

Over one year ago, I imagined myself standing on the ledge of a swimming pool at the deep end.  I would wade my foot in the pool wondering what life be like if I jumped in.  Well, I jumped in.  No regrets.  Well, here I am again.  What’s holding me back?  Disguised as procrastination, it’s really it’s a moment of hesitation… anticipation… or fear.  I’ve returned back to my dissertation and I’m scared.  Am I doing it right?  Am I doing it wrong?  Who really cares?  Truth is, what I need to do is take a deep breath, close my eyes, and JUMP.  Wish me luck.

My 2011 Gratitude List

Happy New Year… 2012 looks promising.  I’m excited for what this new year has to bring, feeling optimistic, and looking forward with Arrows Pointing Right.

The year begins with my 8-year old daughter participating in the 2012 Polar Bear Swim in Davis Bay.  She never hesitated or second guessed herself.  She just moved forward.  In the picture, she is the last swimmer in her division.  It was “mom’s fault” for her “disappointing” finish.  I “suggested” that she wear aqua socks for the race.  She didn’t want to wear the shoes but complied to please her mother.  Once in the water, one shoe fell off then the other.  She even had to swim back to pick up a shoe and proceeded to swim with one shoe in each hand.  Oops.  Sorry honey.  My bad.  We were so happy that she had completed the race.  She was disappointed because she did not meet her expectations.  My daughter quickly recovered from the trauma of swimming in sub-zero temperatures, but remained frustrated with the aqua socks.  Lesson learned: Listen to your instincts.  She did not want to wear those shoes because they “sucked.”  Another lesson learned: Listen to my kid.  I don’t even swim.  Mother did not know best… and, I’m OK with that.  I’ll know better for 2013.

And so 2012 begins with a life lesson and I am grateful for my daughter.  She is my BFF, my side-kick, and my raison d’etre.  I love her to bits.  With that said, it leads me to today’s blog topic: My 2011 Gratitude List.  This list reflects are all of the ‘new adventures’ I was able to embark on in 2011 that I could not realize when I was employed full-time as a secondary mathematics teacher.  Don’t get me wrong… I love teaching math.  One day, I may return back to teaching math.  Who knows what the future holds.  Stepping out of my box, taking risks, and exploring the unknown in 2011 has been worthwhile.  Here is my Top 10 List for 2011… I challenge you to make your Top 10 List too.

1. Walking My Daughter to School:  In my old life, I would rush in the morning making lunches and breakfast.  I would also rush my daughter around to get ready and hurry up.  We would rush out of the door with hopes of making it to school and work on-time.  After school, I would be at meetings and sometimes see my daughter afterwards.  When I started walking her to and from school, I could hear birds sing.  Sounds cliche, but it’s true.  I am loving it.
2. Younghusband Consulting:  I am a business owner.  Who would have thought?  Not me.  I have presented at least 10 times to practicing teachers about Assessment for Learning, attended conferences, created websites and social networking, and I tutor math/science on the Sunshine Coast.  It’s been amazing so far.  I love the flexibility, meeting new people, and making decisions.  My teaching expertise has broadened.  Thank you everyone.
3. Education 809:  Educ 809 has been instrumental to my dissertation journey.  This course was an elective and meant to help doctoral students with their dissertation.  I could not have committed to this course had I not been self-employed.  I love my professor and I love the people I met in the course too.  Although I have not moved at a catalytic rate since the course, the dissertation process has been demystified.  I have the courage to move forward.
4. EGSA SFU:  The Education Graduate Students’ Association at Simon Fraser University has been a wonderful resource for meeting education grad students, engaging in academic opportunities, and gaining new insight on my dissertation.  I was peer-reviewed twice, once with the Speaker Series and the other with the EGSA Retreat.  I sent in two abstracts, presented twice, and got lots of feedback.  It’s been a phenomenal academic experience.
5. Nel Noddings:  Working at home has given me the luxury of time to read emails sent from SFU listserves.  Aside from responding to the Educ 809 email, I also responded to the email announcing Nel Noddings arrival to SFU.  I RSVP’d to both events as a graduate student and loved both presentations.  She writes about the ethics of care and peace education.  Noddings is passionate about her work and public education.  Best of all, she used to be a math teacher.  She gives me great hope and inspiration with my journey.  I was enlightened.
6. EdD Dissertation Defenses:  What an honour is has been to watch 5 of my SFU Surrey Cohort classmates defend their dissertation to earn their Doctor of Education.  It was so impressive to watch each classmate defend.  Each oral defense was unique and individualized.  I loved watching each of them perform, understanding where they came from and where they have arrived to.  I am proud of each classmate and look forward to future defenses.  It’s my commitment to watch all of them.  Each defense has shown me that it’s possible.
7. BCAMT Executive Committee:  I understand that I could be a member of the BC Association of Mathematics Teachers Executive Committee as a practicing public school teacher, but I am truly grateful to be on this committee as an ‘outsider’ or Associate BCTF Member.  I enjoy working with a group of math educators who are advocating for student learning in the realm of math education.  I have met great people, had the opportunity to present at the provincial conference, and feel supported and accepted by my peers.  Love Math-Nerds.
8. Elected as School Trustee:  Big idea… you cannot be a school trustee and by employed in the same school district.  I put my name forward, with great contemplation, to run in the 2011 civic election as school trustee and won.  The competition was fierce and I was uncertain of the popularity of my campaign with community members.  I had limited funds and limited time.  What I can offer to the Board of Education is my knowledge, expertise, and experience in public education.  This was well received during the All-Candidates Meeting where my voice was heard.  Thank you residents in District of Sechelt for voting on November 19th.
9. SFU TLC Certificate Program:  In the summer, I loved taking the 3-day Instructional Skills Workshop with the Teaching and Learning Centre (TLC) at SFU.  I learned more about teaching and learning.  I’ve been recently accepted to the Spring 2012 TLC Certificate Program in University Teaching and Learning.  Initially, I was not accepted.  In 2011, I became a Site Assistant at SFU, which led to the acceptance of my reapplication.  Success.
10. My Dissertation Journey:  What I have realized is… my dissertation journey involves more than the dissertation.  All that I have listed above relate to my dissertation journey.  Yes… I want to “get ‘er done.”  Yes… I need to “manage my time.”  Yes… I’ve got to “get focused.”  The truth is, I needed to do what I did in 2011 to get it done, manage my time, and get focused.  It’s been an awesome year and I feel inspired.  Click, click, clack is all I hear… and it feels good.  I am looking forward to my progress in 2012.  I’m back on track.

Thank you Bloggies if you have read this far… Well done.  It’s been a lengthy blog entry.  My family, sister, brother-in-law, and his dad celebrated New Year’s Eve together.  Barry, my sister’s father-in-law, invited us over for wine & cheese, escargot, and lobster.  It was an a delicious evening.  In curling terms, 2011 was a raise double take-out.  What will 2012 bring?  Will it be a draw for one or an 8-ender… I’m hoping for the latter.  It go big, or go home.  Cheers everyone!

Perspective on ‘Good Teaching’

Next week I will be attending the Certificate Program in University Teaching and Learning at the SFU Teaching and Learning Centre for the Spring 2012 session.  I am pretty excited about being accepted to the program, commuting to campus on a weekly basis, and learning something new.

In preparation for the first week, I had to sign in to the SFU WebCT (currently unsuccessful, wrong browser), write a little blurb about myself (unable to without the WebCT), read an article (cannot, once again, it’s on the WebCT), and complete an online survey called “Teaching Perspectives Inventory (TPI).”  I took a break from working out my browser issue and proceeded with the TPI.

I am fascinated by preference inventories and the generalizations they make, like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).  What I do love about these inventories is reading the profile that best describes ME.  According to the TPI, my dominant perspective on ‘good teaching is nurturing.  “Effective teaching assumes that long-term, hard, persistent effort to achieve comes from the heart, not the head.”  The nurturing description continues to say, “People become motivated and productive learners when they are working on issues or problems without fear or failure” (TPI, 2011).

Unbelievable.  The description is so spot on.  As I read the nurturing perspective, I am reminded by my favorite teaching/learning framework, that is, “Assessment for Learning (AFL).”  My workshops are about AFL and FEAR-FREE-LEARNING (FFL).  This is me.  I am nurturing.

To be truthful, I would not have described my teaching practice as “nurturing.”  My second dominant perspectives were “transmission” (content or subject matter oriented) and “developmental” (from the learner’s point of view).  It’s not to say that these perspectives are not important to me.  They are.  My recessive perspective was “social reform” (seeks to change society) and the perspective with some discrepancies was “apprenticeship” (socializing students to norms and ways of working).

I hare already learned something new about my teaching practice.  I can see how this can create a disconnect with my dissertation claim and beliefs… or maybe not.  What makes a good math teacher?  Is it content knowledge or the love?  Hmm… my theoretical framework needs a revisit.

I’m Responsible.

Oprah’s life lessons… not to get all mushy or mystical about life… but I can appreciate today’s lesson… YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN LIFE.  I’m responsible and I’m OK with that.

Aside from evolving into an every other day blog (versus a daily blog)… I was stumped about what to write about today.  Initially, I had thought about writing about my first two days on Weight Watchers Online… which, by the way, is going well.  Then, I had thought about writing about High School Musical 1, 2, and 3… the Disney movie series I love and adore.  My daughter and I just finished watching High School Musical 2 on the Family Channel.  I love the life lessons Troy Bolton, the lead character, experiences, learns from, and acts upon.  Now, I am watching Oprah’s Lifeclass on OWN.

Watching tonight’s episode led me to think about my dissertation… my pedagogical journey… and today’s blog entry.  I am responsible for what I see.  If I want to make things happen for myself, I am the one who is responsible for making things happen.  I cannot rely on someone else to make it happen for me.  With that said, I am grateful to family, friends, and faculty members who helped me along the way, but it’s up to me if I want to succeed.  This relates to my dissertation, weight loss, and career.  I am responsible for the decisions I made in the past and I take full responsibility for decisions I will make in the future.  In the end, I have to feel good about what I choose to do.

Right now, I feel like Troy Bolton having an AH-HA moment after realizing things could be better and doing the right thing to feel good once again.  Feeling good… might break out into a song… nah.

Whaddup with 2012

As the new year approaches, I am compelled to look at my life, reassess, and make new plans.  At first, I procrastinated this daunting task with a bit of napping and eating… but I have finally found the strength to step up and take a closer look.  Well, there is much I like… and much to work on.

Whaddup with 2012… (1) Set boundaries and manage my time; (2) Shed 40 pounds, join Weight Watchers, and enjoy running; and, (3) Live life as an academic.  Yup.  That sums it up.  After going through my calendar for the month of January and the next 5 months, I have realized that I have much on the go.  Aside from learning the ropes of being a school trustee, I am prepared to revamp my dissertation proposal, get back in to shape, and make critical choices to balance my life.

I love my family, I love my friends, and I love my pedagogical journey.  I feel that I am on the right path.  I have turned right and looking forward.  Most times when I make resolutions, I often make them based on the shoulds.  I should manage my time.  I should lose weight.  I should do my homework.  What a set up for failure.  Of course these new year’s resolutions would never see fruition… because that’s what should happen.  This time it feels different.  It feels right.

I am ready.  I am wanting.  I am believing.  That’s the difference.  This evening, I have joined WW Online and chosen what days I will tutor, run, and study.  In the spring session, I will be commuting to SFU to participate in a TLC Certificate program on the Burnaby campus, connect with the MEd Surrey cohort I work with as a Site Assistant, and reunite with my EdD committee to move forward with my academic studies and research.  I have goals to accomplish and it’s time to move forward.

Within all this, I get to achieve my goals with my family and friends as a resident of the Sunshine Coast.  This is why I love what and where I’m going.  2012 is whaddup.  Happy resolutions.

Christmas and Boxing Day 2011

I am pooped. We decided to stay home for the holidays and I am exhausted. Living on the Sunshine Coast has it’s advantages and disadvantages. For us, it’s the BC Ferries. Aside from waking up at 530am in the morning to open presents (with initial intentions of catching the 820am ferry to Vancouver), we opted to take it easy and catch a later ferry… The 1020.  Still rushing around and praying that we catch the ferry (aka. 3 minutes to spare), we made it on with Christmas cheer while making plans with my family to celebrate Christmas day. Where did we meet my parents and twin brother (who just flown in from Toronto the night before)?  We met them at one of our favorite Chinese restaurants for an early lunch of beef congee, beef fried rice noodles, and seafood chow mein. It was delicious. Most stores were closed on Christmas day, so we got a Starbucks latte and went to my parents’ condo before heading off to my sister’s condo for Christmas tapas.  You’ve got it.  Christmas tapas.  How festive that?  Well, for the Ho-Family (my side of the family), very festive.  My family, my sister’s family, my brother, my parents, my cousins and their families, my uncle, and my sister’s father-in-law were all there.  16 of us mixed and mingled over prawns, ribs, and sushi in the living room of my sister’s 1000 sqft condo.  It was a fun evening.  Spent the rest of the evening digesting and went to bed early in anticipation of Boxing Day at Metrotown.  As it turned out, my husband and 8-year old daughter were ready to go early this morning to catch the best deal or Boxing Day sale.  Personally, I stayed in bed, enjoyed my cup of coffee, and got ready at a nice leisurely pace.  As my little family were standing in lines to make their purchases, my parents, brother, and I eventually made it to the mall to reunite at another Chinese restaurant for dim sum.  Another delicious meal spent with family.  My parents and brother parted ways and my little family and I revisited Metrotown mall in search of a good deal.  That was a short-lived experience.  It was worse than the Vancouver Sun Run.  Soooooo many people… I had to go.  Off we went (empty handed from the afternoon jaunt, with exception to Purdy’s chocolate) and headed back towards BC Ferries to return home.  We arrived one-hour early to the terminal, the ferries were delayed, and the 330 sailing was full by 3pm (and we loaded onto the ferry at 4pm).  So, here I am remote blogging on the ferry.  A full-circle of Christmas celebration book ended with the BC Ferries.  The benefit of being on the BC Ferries… when you hear “sixteen,” you know that you’re back home.  Happy Boxing Day.

T’was the Night Before Christmas

I’m remote blogging (in bed) in the middle of the night waiting for Santa to come by to drop off my daughter’s present, eat some cookies, and drink some milk.

To Know Is To Try

It’s so funny when I think about things to talk about in my edu-blog.  I find that it’s often advice that I should take.  I should listen to myself.  Is this ironic?  Strangely, it’s not.  I wear two hats… teacher and learner.  A lot of what I have to say as a teacher, is what I need to say to myself as a learner.

What’s my lesson for today?  You never know unless you try.  Today, my daughter and I were finishing up some last minute shopping at a local supermarket.  What frustrates my daughter immensely is me yip-yapping to people I see in the store… in the mall… at the school… in the parking lot… at the gas station… at the restaurant.  As it seems, the list goes on.  Anyway, I bumped into a couple also doing last minute shopping with their daughter.  The mom congratulated me on my election win and proceeded to ask me if I regret leaving my teaching position.  My response is how would I know what I was capable of if I didn’t try.  I have no regrets.  She called me brave.

Honestly, how would you know unless you tried?  This life lesson relates to trying new food, solving algebraic equations, or academic course work.  I would give this advice to my daughter, my math students, and it seems that it should be something I should consider myself as a doctoral student.  This advice is easy to give to others, but difficult advice to listen for myself.  The truth is, I can never realize the potential of my dissertation unless I take the leap and write.  To know is to try… why not?

Chatelech Grads

Remote blogging from the Sechelt Aquatic Centre, sitting on the sidelines watching my kid and her buddy play in the pool.  Why not blog?  Anyway, today has been an awesome day.  My daughter has someone to play with, I got caught up on updating my websites, and I have reunited with many Chatelech Grads, former students of mine.  It’s good to see familiar faces again in the Sechelt community, it’s good to know how well everyone is doing, and it’s good to be aware that each of them had fond memories of math.  This is one of the few ways to know that I had a positive influence on their lives as a math teacher.  Feels good.  What even feels better is when they congratulate me on being a school trustee.  That means a lot to me.  Thank you Chatelech Grads.  I hope to see more of you during the holiday break.  Welcome back to the Sunshine Coast and happy holidays.

Chapter 1 Revised

As frustrating as it is for those who are following my dissertation journey… my deepest apologies.  Here is my December 2011 update… I have completed Chapter One… again.  This seems absolutely ridiculous, but I have learned a couple of things:  (1) the body of the dissertation relies heavily on the quality and clarity of Chapter 1; (2) the dissertation process is 100% attuned to my happiness.  What do I mean by this?  I am not saying that I have to be “happy” to write and research.  What I am saying is, I need a clear mind and spirit to write my dissertation with some objectivity, distantiation, and disembeddedness.

There is no question in my mind that my research topic is important to me.  My greatest concerns are advocating for student learning, teacher professional development, and quality mathematics education.  My writing has evolved over time.  How do I know?  Here’s my feedback so far… Version 1: “Get out of the problem.” Version 2: “It’s not political.” Version 3: “It’s not about you.”  Version 4: “Make it academic.”  And, here I am at Version 5 that I have edited and avoided numerous times this winter session.  What did I have to do?  Tighten my writing, revise my research question, focus on teacher learning not teacher efficacy, “make it academic,” and figuring out the ‘Significance of the Study.’  This has been a daunting process, but I am understanding that this kind of precision matters.

Is this what we refer to as 21st Century Learning?  I am using technology.  My learning is personally relevant.  I am working at my own pace.  With that said, working independently and self-directing my learning has been challenging and sometimes non-existent.  Yet, I am grateful to have the opportunity to challenge myself in my doctoral studies to prove to myself that it is possible.  However, I can certainly see how completion rates can be compromised with this approach.  A balance between formative feedback, personal accountability, and autonomous learning would be ideal.

In the spring session, I will be on the SFU Burnaby campus for the Teaching & Learning Centre certificate program on learning how to teach in universities.  This will be a once a week affair.  To take it a bit further, I talked briefly to one of my supervisors last week who offered to get me a desk at the Surrey campus to study regularly on campus.  I love this idea.  Being on campus, connecting with others, resonates with my learning style.  I am an extroverted thinker.  Running around in a hamster wheel of my own mind can result in unnecessary spinning (aka. little productivity).  I look forward to making the shift, writing & researching, and committing to get my research done.

Keep it narrow.  Keep it doable.  Keep it academic.  Chapter 2, here I come… the Literature Review.