This weekend I was reminded of my good work as a teacher.  First, I saw a parent on the ferry who thanked me for teaching both of her kids math and said that she felt lucky.  We chatted a bit longer about her kids and what they were up to.  I miss that about my job.  In fact, knowing what my former students are doing today as adults is rewarding.  I was grateful for her kind words.  Second, my family and I went a surprise birthday party for my husband’s aunt last night.  She was surprised and all 40 of us had a wonderful time at the restaurant celebrating her birthday.  The funny thing is that the birthday girl asked me if I would be willing to teach her niece math, as an adult student, with her living with us for a few months to upgrade her math in preparation for university.  I said, YES.  Third, to conclude the hat trick of compliments was a meeting I attended morning.  I was recruited to be a member of the BC Association of Math Teachers Executive committee.  My name was forwarded and approved with open arms… reassured that I would be an “asset” to the committee.  All I can say is… thanks… YIPPEE… and back contributing to public education, math education, and assessment for learning.  BEST 5-hour meeting ever!

Well, all I have to say is… if you love your teacher… show your appreciation.

Justin Bieber is living his dream.  His autobiography reminds me of Malcolm Gladwell and “The Tipping Point” or “The Outlier.”  Justin came from humble beginnings with a genuine love for music.  From YouTube to worldwide iconic notoriety seems unreal.  Was it an accident or totally aligned?  Watch the movie and you be the judge.  It goes back to the Law of Attraction.  He has a passion.  He has a gift.  He practiced for hours.  He took risks.  He believed in himself.  And, he had people around him who believed in him and his dream.  With much love, care, and good intent, he is living the dream.

Are you living your dream?  What is your passion?  Do you believe in yourself?  Are you surrounded by people who believe in you?  Do you feel good?  Are you grateful?

I ask myself these questions all of the time… followed up with “What in the hell are you doing?” Self-doubt, bad feelings, and fear can derail anyone from their dream.  You don’t have to be a superstar.  However, you have to believe in yourself.  When you believe, people can see this and want to help.  One compliment, one helping hand, one opportunity… all of a sudden things begin to happen.  Be thankful… and Gladwell’s Tipping Point is realized and you can not help but live your dream.

BELIEVE… that’s what it is all about.  What do you really want?  If you know what you are passionate about, then go for it.  Live the dream.  Do what it takes to live your dream and surround yourself by people who will help you attain it.  Do not underestimate your abilities.  In my workshops and math classroom, my bottom line is BELIEVING.  Do you believe you can make a difference in a student’s learning experience?  Do you believe that you can do math and love it?  YES YOU CAN.  This is exciting.  Believing is the secret to one’s happiness, success, and living the dream.  Do you believe?

I had a wonderful time at this workshop with good conversation and lots of fun.  We even had the opportunity to play Math Olympiks – A Summative Review Game.  I owe my deepest gratitude to Rose Pillay, the secondary CISVA educational consultant, who made this event and other memorable experiences happen for me… and BIG THANK YOU to the math teachers who attended my BCAMT workshop in the fall and gave me rave reviews and recommendation.  What an opportunity to inspire and influence practicing teachers to improve their practice and help kids learn.  VERY REWARDING.  What was more rewarding were the compliments, inquiries, and genuine interest expressed by the participants.  UNREAL.  Pedagogical dialogue… AWESOME!

Overall review of the day from my feedback forms was a lot of 3’s and 4’s on a 4-point scale.  That’s pretty good, including comments saying thank you… come to our school… and I’m ready to make changes in my classroom.  FANTASTIC.  Schools like York House and Vancouver Tech have expressed an interest in having a workshop come to their school about math instruction and AFL to entire staffs.  That is the greatest compliment of all… Knowing what you are saying is relevent, doable, and worthy of implementation.  THANK YOU CISVA for being a part of my pedagogical journey.

What an amazing realization… it dawned on me when a friend of mine mentioned that my confidence seemed rather low.  Remember, I’m living a life as an introvert… and I’m an EXTROVERT.  Any human communication I have access to results in me yapping for a good solid 10 minutes before I take a breath, giving the other person a brief moment to say something.  In this case, I was talking to one of the moms about my dissertation and thoughts about editing Chapter 2.  I am deeply grateful for this person’s patience and kindness to listen to my EXTROVERTED THINKING.  With her feedback, I did not realize that I was experiencing self-doubt in my writing… a low sense of self-efficacy.

This was an awakening.  I realized that I am currently experiencing what non-math specialist teachers do when they are learning how to teach math.  You are guessing half the time, you try, but it is frustrating at times if you work in isolation.  My intentions are good, however it is really difficult to realize what it means to excel in what you are doing with nobody around.  LEARNING IS DIALOGICAL… that’s one of my favorite sayings… Charles Taylor (1991).  I am trying to dialogue… with my Blog… my friends… my kid.  I asked Zoe a methodology question today after swimming lessons.  I was thinking out loud.  She said to me, “You’re like a detective.”  I smiled.  I guess I am.

After spending many hours prepping the power point and handout, I went to bed last night at midnight.  Up at 4:30 am to catch the 6:20 ferry, and the organizer generously offered to give me a ride to Squamish due to the probable snow warnings. We had a nice chat on the way to Don Ross Secondary.  His passion for education is admirable and commendable.

The Sea-to-Sky Teachers’ Association professional development day started with Dr. Art Hister as the key note.  He was phenomenal.  A very humorous and cleaver… a tough one to follow.  Overall, my presentation went well and I think I fulfilled what the organizer requested from me.  He asked for a similar workshop as the one I delivered at the BCAMT, the provincial math teachers conference, in October 2010.  However, there will always be attendees who are expecting something else. 

About 2/3 of the attendees filled out my feedback form and most of them gave rave reviews.  The remaining feedback forms gave mediocre reviews.  Of those, they each gave a common report:  Gimme the Meat & Potatoes.  Ultimately, they wanted something tangible to do on Monday morning… the “tool kit” or “bag of tricks” if you will.  Admittedly, I was more worried not going enough stories to tell, but in the end, I had too many.

The one piece of advice a “math guru” gave me for the BCAMT conference was… Give them something for Monday.  Now, I am rudely reminded.  Another mentor told me to “be myself.”  I think I was and it appealed to the majority.  I tried to give some potatoes near at the end of the workshop, but maybe it should have been top heavy.  The good part is… I did give out some business cards to those who are interested in bringing me back again to a different audience… I’m looking forward.

On February 18, 2011, I will be heading out towards Squamish and Whistler to Don Ross Secondary School to deliver a workshop on Assessment for Learning to Secondary Math Teachers.  This school district has been implementing AFL for the past few years in addition to the New Math Curriculum.  I have big names to follow:  Rob Sidley, Linda Kaser, and Judy Halbert.  These names may not mean much to you, but they are influential people in the realm of education and assessment.

Rick Smith from SD 48 (Sea-to-Sky) is a district math coordinator who saw my AFL workshop at the BC Association Math Teachers (BCAMT) provincial conference in October 2010.  He was inspired and applied for a grant from the BCAMT to support math teachers in his district to implement AFL successfully.  Rick, in collaboration with his colleague who also attended the workshop, mutually agreed that my workshop would best fit their needs and current understanding of AFL.  I’m the clean up guy!

Let’s be clear… I don’t mean that “I’m the clean up guy” to imply that the school district is a mess with AFL; what I am saying is that I am the SKIP on this assessment team and I’m throwing the last rock of the end.  Yes, I have made a curling analogy.  I am cool.  No pressure, of course, but I believe my role tomorrow is to act as a spring board and share my “pedagogical journey” with AFL to Sea-to-Sky math teachers.  What I love most is I’m realizing much of this workshop directly relates to my dissertation.

This blog-break is a moment away from my 10 hours of prepping for this workshop.  I had a Power Point from the BCAMT conference and believed that it could take a few hours to brush up the presentation.  A big misconception on my part… and the presentation took a big overhaul.  From what I’ve learned from the Catholic Educators’ Conference as a participant and observer, I did not want to give a workshop that someone walks out on.  I want to inspire, provoke, and motivate.  If I accomplish one of three of these areas, then my job is done.  Ultimately, if teachers makes a shift in their practice, that’s the best feedback of all.

There were so many ‘good’ components to the day… the opening session… Starbucks Coffee… the key note speaker… lunch at the pub… an awesome first session… and not so awesome second session.  I met a lot of great people and I am totally wowed by the awesomeness of the conference center.  What captured my attention today was the opening session called the Opening Eucharistic Liturgy.  I am not sure of the terminology and Catholic rituals, but I much enjoyed listening to the words of wisdom of Archbishop J. Michael Miller, the harmony of the choir, the eloquence of the master of ceremonies, the empowering live gospel music by John Angotti, and the murmurs of the Catholic Educators all around me participating in the religious process.

The experience was amazing.  What struck me about the most was the COLLECTIVE EFFICACY.  I witnessed a collection of Catholic Educators from around the province united in one venue with one vision.  The collective understanding and support contributes to their practice as teachers, which in turn has a positive effect on student achievement.  “Teaching is a privilege” and “Teaching is a noble practice” was the mantra of this morning.  The event was very motivational and inspirational.  New teachers were acknowledged and welcomed to the collective and teachers with 25 years of service were honored amongst their peers.  Catholic Educators were ultimately celebrated.

Not to ramble on about today’s session, but there are certainly distinct similarities and differences between this conference and one’s I have previously attended as a practicing teacher.  Tomorrow is a double session of Damian Cooper talking about Assessment for Learning.  I am looking forward to that.  I am learning a tonne of what to do and what not to do as a public speaker, I am making connections between my thesis writing and what I’m observing, and I am excited about my own workshops to come.  I’ve also learned that my workshop coming up on March 3, 2011 with the CISVA secondary math teachers is full with 30 participants and people are currently being turned away.  All that I know is my sense of self-efficacy to teach has strengthened after today’s conference.

Last year, I was fortunate to be a part of the Pulling Together Journey 2010.  19 canoes paddled in the Salish Sea from Port Moody to Semiahmoo in 9 days.  There were over 200 participants.  I paddled with the s-yewen s-nexwilh Spirit Canoe crew.  I never paddled before, but I felt guided to do so.  I met so many fantastic people.  Our crew had 10 paddlers and one amazing skipper.  The canoe experience was life-changing for me.  I learned about community, trust, and interdependence.  I felt reconnected.

One of the things we learned as a crew is to dispel any negative thoughts before each paddle.  It seemed like a peculiar notion, but the claim is negative thoughts slows down the canoe.  I did not believe this until the third day when it took a lot of effort to propel the canoe.  It was like we were standing still.  When we met in a circle to reflect on our paddle, it was that someone had negative feelings prior to our paddle that day.  We had to release those thoughts to free the canoe.  Success.  We returned back to being one of the faster canoes in the fleet.  It was effortless.  We were a cohesive crew.

So, back to my curling game.  The opposing skip was saying unfriendly comments about my team under her breath to me during the game.  I got annoyed and tried to keep my distance.  In the end, I built up negative thoughts of my own.  No one was having fun on my team, including me.  I was a crabisaurus, we made very few shots, and we lost.  In hindsight, I should have told the skip not talk about my team in that way.  I said, “No one is trying to miss their shot.”  I should have said a lot more.

In my classroom, Assessment for Learning (AFL) provided my students with a learning environment that was “fear-free.” Students were not “marked” on everything they did.  Everything counted, but not everything was evaluated.  To evaluate is to judge.  No one wants to be judged continuously on how they are learning, but rather be judged on what they have learned.  AFL provides feedback to the learner and the teacher.  The teacher becomes the helper, not the policeman.  Grading should not be a mechanism for classroom management, but a means of measuring what percentage of learning outcomes the student understands.  When “everything counts,” such as assignments, attendance, participation, quizzes, or whatever else, what are students really learning?  Students learn more about the game of grading versus the actual course content.

Students fear judgment. Every student at one time or another has spent more time trying to calculate an upcoming grade rather than focusing on their learning.  When I taught math, I would get asked by students, “What mark do I need on the final exam to get a B?”  You can replace the word “final exam” with test or project, and replace the letter grade with F, A, or C+, it all means the same thing.  The outcome are more important than the process.  This conditioning has been instilled in our students since elementary school, when “grades mattered.”

In sport, if an athlete is focused only on winning, he or she is more likely to lose.  The attitudes developed would not be conducive to learning, but to winning.  The focus should not about winning, even though that is an important aspect of sport (much like grades), but it should be about making the right plays, using correct techniques and follow-through, and doing the best you can in that moment.  Focus on the right things, the win will come.  If we expect this in sport, then we should be expect this in schools.

In my fantasy world, there would be no grades, only formative feedback.  Reality says we need to “measure success” with standardized quantifiable evidence.  Somewhere in between, the teacher has the professional autonomy to create a working environment that promotes optimal student learning within the classroom to provoke student achievement and curiosity and, the administrator has the authority to ensure that the school working conditions are safe and suitable to support its teachers and students.