Boxing Day Blog 2022
December 26, 2022 – A Year in Review… Maybe?
Well… life is always filled with “firsts.” That’s what learning is all about. This was my first Christmas without family. My kid was out of town (and returning tonight) and I opted not to travel to Vancouver to visit my brother, sister, and dad. I’m glad that I didn’t travel. The weather has been crazy in the Lower Mainland and travel remains in the news. That kind of stress and mayhem were not in my winter holiday plans.
I stayed in my apartment. The first week of December, I was sick and spent a couple of weeks coping, travelling, and recovering. That was not fun. The third week I was alone and Prince George was experiencing a cold spell. -30 degrees Celsius weather was relentless. All that I wanted to do was stay inside and do nothing. And guess what I did? Not much. And if I had to do something, I did reluctantly, then did nothing.
What was amazing the winter holiday that I’ve learned is, nothing blows up. It’s true. For some reason I thought that I had to work and work to prove myself to others and validate my sense of worth. Nope. Not this year. I took it slow and tried not to work. I took a handful of few days not working and it’s been wonderful. I can take a vacation from work and approach my work in ways that work best for me. It’s been amazing.
I feel rested. I feel grounded. I feel connected (to self). What a wonderful gift. I never felt lonely this winter break and I could really take the time to listen to myself. I’ll admit, I am probably going to the drop in clinic tomorrow to check in for my health. That said, I am willing. In past, I might not have been. Denial seemed easier. That did not pay off a few years ago. Now, I can be honest with myself because I’m important.
The past year has been one of change and transformation. I had to step away from some things so that I can pursue other things. I can’t have everything. What I am realizing is, I am not suppose to want everything. What I am suppose to be doing is figuring out what I really want for me. I want to be healthy. I want to be learning. And, I want to continue pursuing things that I love (without any outside pressure).
A friend of mine the other day said that I am someone who is carving out my own path forward. An interesting example because I’m just learning how to. With each lesson, I am learning that nothing “blows up” when I am being true to myself and my needs and wants. It’s been an interesting winter break. I am focused on me. That’s it. How refreshing and unusual. I’ve been too busy serving and impressing others.
UGH. It’s taken this much time to arrive in this place today to realize that the only person I need to be serving and impressing is myself. I don’t mean this in a ego-driven way but in a way that is “selfish” and “self-serving.” Again, that sounds awful, but I don’t mean it in a way that is harmful or hurtful to others, but it’s about prioritizing myself. It reminds me of flying and putting on your air mask first.
You can’t help others if you are not taking care of yourself. I have my inquiry question for 2023 and my #OneWord2023. These are two tasks I’m going to be asking my EDUC 391, EDUC 421, and EDUC 405 students to do. (PS. It’s the same cohort). I guess this is not a year in review. Lots has happened. Some good. Some bad. In the end, I believe everything was meant to happen to get where I am today. I’m good.
No regrets. Lots of learning and I will continue to learn. What I think I am committed to for 2023 is to set lofty goals and know that it will take lots of little steps to get to those big goals. I can do this. I’m doing this for me. I am modelling for my kid (and she models right back to me). I have spent 2022 redefining myself and I am ready for the new year. Let’s see how the doctor’s appointment goes, but right now, it’s good.
I’m wishing everyone the happiest new year. You deserve it. Many people are struggling and we have to do what’s best for ourselves as self-care. The New Year will be my next blog post for Week 146. Yes, we are still in the pandemic. That has not ended but I wanted to take a moment to reflect and think about 2022 and express my gratitude for my family, my kid, and my friends. I am feeling lucky. Thank you!!