Blog Request
First of all, I am so happy that people actually read my blog. It heartens me. Second, I never had a blog request before. I guess there is always a time for a first. So here it goes… a Facebook friend of mine (and colleague) responded to one of my blog entries. I wrote the Next Step, which was about saying goodbye, letting go, and decluttering. My friend asked if I took blog topic requests. Normally, I like to blog when I get inspired. Right now, I’m inspired to write, so why not write about travelling great distances and the “two-body problem.” So, what is the “two-body problem?”
According to Wikipedia: “The two-body problem is a dilemma for life partners (for e.g. spouses or any other couple) in academia, relating to the difficulty of both spouses obtaining jobs at the same university or within a reasonable commuting distance from each other.” Interesting. I never heard of the “two-body problem.” At first I thought it was referring to me having two bodies because I have to be in two places at once. Or, the “two-body problem” meant that I was leading two lives. Nope. In the blog Tenure, She Wrote, “the two-body problem involves two partners, both with professional aspirations, trying to end up in close geographical proximity…so that they can live together, support each other, and maybe even raise a family.”
Am I experiencing the “two-body problem”? No, I am not. It’s more like the ONE-BODY PROBLEM. The dilemma is mine. Thank goodness for social media and our ability to create our online persona. It’s a beautiful thing. We can post anything we’d like to project a theme of how we live, think, and breathe. This is not to say I am not authentic or real online, but what I am saying is that you are not getting the moment-by-moment thoughts or actions in the life of CYH, even though it may feel that way with my multiple daily Facebook/Twitter/Instagram posts. My deepest apologies.
The one-body problem is… what the hell am I going to do with my life? No pressure, but I’m putting it bluntly. I can only imagine what it would be like to be in a “two-body problem” where there are two of me. That would be absolutely crazy. My dissertation is almost complete (fingers crossed) and I am starting my journey in academia as a sessional instructor. I’m still deliberating if this is the direction I would like to go. Why? It requires a lot of commuting if I wish to continue living on the Sunshine Coast. This is what I would call the Sunshine Coast Phenomena. To commute or not commute?
The Sunshine Coast is a beautiful place to live. We have to take a 45 minute ferry to the mainland. A 25 minute drive to the ferry and whatever time it takes to go where every you need to go on the other side. It would take me a whole day of travelling to have a one-hour meeting with my supervisor on campus. That said, I love where we live. We have a home here. My husband has a stable job. My daughter transitioned beautifully into high school. I love the ocean, the forests, and the small town feel. The downfall is my career aspirations. The other option is to move somewhere else.
The dilemma I face is my career. As a sessional instructor, I’m only travelling to Vancouver once a week in a 4 month period and being a school trustee takes me out of town at least once or twice a month. My little family also take trips to the mainland to visit family or attend sporting events. My daughter is involved with swimming, volleyball, basketball, softball, and rugby which takes us off the Coast so she can compete. Going back and forth on the ferries is what we do on the Sunshine Coast.
What I do know is this… I love my kid and would do anything for her. She is an awesome kid who loves her mom but also loves her independence. Her autonomy makes it viable for me to travel, pursue my doctorate degree, and whatever possible career in academia. My husband is also supportive of my career direction (or indirection). He has been very patient and understands that I am in a state of transition. He supported me when I left my teaching career in public schools, when I became a school trustee, and during my dissertation journey. I feel very lucky to have an easy going family. The truth is, I could not do what I do without them.
So, there it is. My family make it easy for me to travel back and forth, pursue my career, and make commuting seem so manageable. It’s only a one-body problem. Do I want to commute? Do I want to move? The dilemma is my own. My little family are very willing to accommodate me. I love the work that I do but realize that as soon as my dissertation is complete, life will change. I don’t know if I answered the inquiry as requested, but I do empathize with those experiencing the “two-body problem.” Regardless of context, it’s what you are willing to give, compromise, and let go. Commuting is my compromise. It might be different tomorrow. I may have walked away from so much, but gained so much in return. There is no right answer.