A Little Help

“I wished I kept this. A turning point in my dissertation.” @christineyounghusband Instagram Post – February 10, 2017

I’ve been working on my dissertation for years. It took years to develop my research question. It took years to select and commit to a methodology. It took years to create a survey instrument. Are you seeing a trend? After years of deliberation and working on Chapter 1 over and over again, the collection of data and data analysis took no time at all. I enjoyed the data collection process and playing around with the numbers. I enjoyed the data analysis process much more than I thought I would. I loved taking numbers and transforming them into a narrative. It was awesome.

Now what? What was the narrative? I saw trends in the data, anomalies, and FYIs. Piecing data together into a comprehensive story was challenging. I had a tonne of ideas popping in and out of my brain that I had to take a moment to thread these ideas together. Some findings were worth keeping. They either answered the research question or verified the literature. Other findings made me scratch my head and wonder. While some calculations never made the final draft.

I had to piece my ideas together. Inspiration comes at the strangest times. This photo is a sample of me “putting these ideas together.” You can only imagine what was happening in my brain. I started organizing my thoughts and ideas onto one piece of paper. I felt like I got a little help on this. I created this collage of thoughts on the same day my father-in-law had passed away. I was out of town for meetings and alone in my hotel room that evening to grieve. That night I needed to be alone.

From a brain-block to a flood of possibilities, my thoughts, findings, and narrative for my research study all came together that night. I truly believe that my father-in-law had something to do with this. He was a “go get them” kind of guy. I thought about him a lot that night and almost felt that he wanted me to think more about my dissertation and he was willing to help me out with that. To you, this photo of my thoughts may seem chaotic, illegible, and incomprehensible. It is, to some degree. But also, it was a reminder that anything is possible if you believe it’s possible.

I write this blog entry today for three reasons. First, I’ve been working on the feedback I’ve recently received from my supervisors and realizing that not only are the revisions doable, but also I am really, really close to finishing. Second, this photo lingered in my Instagram account since my father-in-law’s passing and I believe that I was meant to write this blog in honour of him and his “can do” attitude. And finally, I miss him and wished he were here. I didn’t have the opportunity to grieve his passing that weekend. Thank you (miss you) Randy Sr. I needed all the help I could get.