Thinking Too Much

Classic. I am thinking about my thinking in today’s blog. Just the other day, I had this wonderful opportunity to take a moment for myself to sit alone and look out the window of my hotel room… in silence. There was no thinking, just being. I was oozing with gratitude and observed what was unfolding in front of me. People walking down the street, getting out of bed, or going about their daily life as if no one was watching them. It almost seemed timeless. This quiet state of being was soon interrupted by my thoughts. By thinking, I grew impatient. I started to judge. I stopped observing. In that moment, I thought it would be best to rush through my coffee, leave the hotel room, and get on with my day. On the one hand, thinking is functional. I need to think in my meetings, in my work, and in my studies. On the other hand, thinking is dysfunctional. I am not in the moment. I am focussed on the next step. I am not seizing the day. As a result, I am not “thinking” with my heart, only with my mind. My passion is minimized. My enthusiasm muted. My dreams unrealized. By operating in this mode of thinking, my decisions and actions may not best reflect what I truly want and desire. It protects me. This is unfortunate. I am a dreamer and believe anything is possible. Ironically, thinking closes my mind to possibilities. I become controlled. I cannot be the person I aspire to be. Yes, I am thinking too much. I need to balance my heart and mind. This will be tough for a Type A personality, like me. Thinking about my thinking does not make the situation any better, but reflecting on it brings it to my attention. Creativity, innovation, and exploration requires a bit of messiness and uncertainty. I am willing to accept this.